Humorous and funny Turtle poems and/or funny poems about Turtle. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Turtle funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Turtle Poems.
I love to slurp up turtle soup
It always makes me want to whoop
Soft-shelled turtle or red snapper
Cut up and stripped of their protective wrapper
Like a thick gravy with turtley parts,
Little beady eyes and turtley hearts;
Chopped up into turtle stew,
Come on people try something new.
~For P.D.'s Turtle Soup contest~
wonderful slick shell,
Brown and golden, the color of a shell.
That perfect shaped shell.
The shell of my turtle i know too well.
You are the greenest.
The most bravest.
And fastest (i think)
And maybe the smartest too.
You slick and slide,
And glide on by,
The water is what you love.
And you swim in the water, like a dove in the sky.
allegory, analogy, humorous,
Turtle and a Hurdle
Trump's stomach looks like back of a turtle
And over things makes it hard to hurdle
Created own line of clothes he calls choral
Who jumped over justice and skipped moral;
Loony and bloomy idiot like crepe myrtle.
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
Now for coffee and breakfast
So my wife just did insist.
animal, destiny, funny, health, natural disasters,
Dedicated to my favourite poet - Shelley
If a tortoise, if a turtle
You are never going to hurtle
Witness how your limbs are placed
Splayed east to west, all carapaced
what if some meat-eating moron,
Jonesing for a snack to gnaw on,
sees you sumo-stepping by
thinks "Hey look - a fresh meat pie"?
Running will beget disaster
You beat a hare so now you're faster?
You let your tasty bits protrude
and pretty soon they're getting chewed
No! Stop to suck your vitals in,
and hope he likes his toothy grin
Cause it's going to get busted
your gooey filling's well encrusted
A two headed turtle in a bed blue
Slept whole night through close to his brother too
Contest: Two Timer's
Sponsor: Debbie Guzzi
Did you happen to see old Sam?
He's my poor turtle on the lam
It happened he was told
That his body had been sold
To a restaurant in the city
Where the cook had little pity
On the stove he put the pot
And the veggies that he got
But he had no turtle meat
So decided he would cheat
Chicken tastes about the same
Or so the turtles always claim
So his turtle soup became a mock
Cause he made it with chicken stock
For the Turtle Soup Contest
crazy, food, giggle, hilarious, myth, pain,
Once upon a turtle chef
A slow cooker named Myrtle
Boiled a little turkey
We waited in the middle
Of the curtain in a circle
When the turkey was purple
Shouted Myrtle in a crystal
Turtle ready for a nibble
We sit and bit a little
And were not certain
If we ate turkey or turtle
Then Lucy giggled
And then she burped
The essential Lucy.
RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY
Turtle Hurtle sat on a myrtle
And Waving kisses to Mrs. Startle
Startle fell apart
Lost her a la carte
Old Startle had nothing to smartle
encouraging, humorous, inspirational,
Turtle Who Tried to Write
Then there was the time that a turtle
Had tried to jump over a high hurdle
But only remained flat like a door mat
Being dumb like one and that was that.
Poems periodically turtle wanted to write
Must have lost his mind and is not alright
Turtle truly never could ever have a thrill
Until he read Frost and Rogers named Will.
Many great ideas from them he did receive
First, always in yourself you must believe
Second, are many things that God granted
And a poem in your mind He has planted.
James Thomas Horn, Retired Veteran
Frost, Nash and Will Rogers are my favorite writers.
Sidney Hall Mad Poet
Turtle soup in Zimbabwe is a delicacy
Caused fights between my siblings and me
Alas, due to the shortage we couldn’t eat it all at once
So one leg at a time which left them with a bounce
But a funny thing happened one day
One of the buggers decided to run away
Now our turtle soup has never been the same
I was the youngest so I took the blame
We looked high and we looked low
But had to settle for the scraping from dad’s big toe
Alas, our turtleless soup now has a cheddar edge
At least we have it served with an extra helping of veg.
If you ever in the town
And happen to see it bouncing on the ground
And we’ll cook’em and have him for tea.
I was riding my bike along a country road,
When I saw a big turtle carrying a strange load.
I got off my bike, then the turtle came to a complete stop.
He was protecting his shiny prize and refused to drop.
It was a bright half dollar in his mouth oddly enough.
He had a hard time getting it in his mouth so overstuffed!
I found a stick to give the turtle a poke,
To see if he would let it go, and not choke!
I prodded him, and he dropped it like a hot potato,
Then went off running, doing a little flamingo.
I pocketed the half dollar and went on my way,
Happy the turtle was free, and fifty cents now my pay.
animals, children, funny, nature,
The turtle is rather short, not tall
He is kind of fat, not thin
But should you visit him at his home
You will find he's always in
Laverne a man from Po' Biddy
Raised by himself with no family
Lived off the land and by God's hand
His favorite was turtle soup real bland
One day he drank some toxic moonshine
Then the turtle started talking real fine
Laverne got scared and jumped in the river
He drank like a fish and swole his liver
Laverne could not eat turtle and taters again
He felt it was a real sin to eat talkin' kin
The turtle entered a race
Tried to run at his own pace
He fell way behind
Still crossed the finish line
Then, felt like it was just a waste