Funny Poems About Turtle or Turtle Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Turtle poems and/or funny poems about Turtle. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Turtle funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Turtle Poems.

Poem Details | by Tirzah Conway |
Categories: animals, funny

Turtle Soup

I love to slurp up turtle soup
It always makes me want to whoop

Soft-shelled turtle or red snapper
Cut up and stripped of their protective wrapper

Like a thick gravy with turtley parts,
Little beady eyes and turtley hearts;

Chopped up into turtle stew,
Come on people try something new.

~For P.D.'s Turtle Soup contest~


Poem Details | by Danielle Deason |
Categories: humor,

My green sea turtle

wonderful slick shell,
Brown and golden, the color of a shell.
That perfect shaped shell.
The shell of my turtle i know too well.

You are the greenest.
The most bravest.
And fastest (i think)
And maybe the smartest too.

You slick and slide,
And glide on by,
The water is what you love.
And you swim in the water, like a dove in the sky.

May 29,2013

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: allegory, analogy, humorous,

Turtle and a Hurdle

Turtle and a Hurdle

Trump's stomach looks like back of a turtle
And over things makes it hard to hurdle
Created own line of clothes he calls choral
Who jumped over justice and skipped moral;
Loony and bloomy idiot like crepe myrtle.

James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet

Now for coffee and breakfast
So my wife just did insist.


Poem Details | by Duncan Mitchell |
Categories: animal, destiny, funny, health, natural disasters,

If a Tortoise, If a Turtle

Dedicated to my favourite poet - Shelley

If a tortoise, if a turtle
You are never going to hurtle
Witness how your limbs are placed
Splayed east to west, all carapaced
what if some meat-eating moron,
Jonesing for a snack to gnaw on,
sees you sumo-stepping by
thinks "Hey look - a fresh meat pie"?
Running will beget disaster
You beat a hare so now you're faster?
You let your tasty bits protrude
and pretty soon they're getting chewed
No! Stop to suck your vitals in,
and hope he likes his toothy grin
Cause it's going to get busted
your gooey filling's well encrusted


Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: funny, nature,

Two Headed Turtle

A two headed turtle in a bed blue Slept whole night through close to his brother too
Contest: Two Timer's Sponsor: Debbie Guzzi

Poem Details | by Lionel Derbyshire |
Categories: crazy, food, giggle, hilarious, myth, pain,

Turtle

Turtle
Poem
Lionel Derbyshire

Once upon a turtle chef
A slow cooker named Myrtle
Boiled a little turkey 
We waited in the middle
Of the curtain in a circle
When the turkey was purple
Shouted Myrtle in a crystal
Turtle ready for a nibble
We sit and bit a little
And were not certain
If we ate turkey or turtle
Then Lucy giggled
And said
Gobble gobble 
And then she burped
The essential Lucy.

Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun, funny,

Turtle Hurtle sat on a myrtle




                                           Turtle Hurtle sat on a myrtle
                                       And Waving kisses to Mrs. Startle
                                                   Startle fell apart
                                                  Lost her a la carte
                                       Old Startle had nothing to smartle

Poem Details | by James Horn |
Categories: encouraging, humorous, inspirational,

Turtle Who Tried To Write

Turtle Who Tried to Write

Then there was the time that a turtle
Had tried to jump over a high hurdle
But only remained flat like a door mat
Being dumb like one and that was that.

Poems periodically turtle wanted to write
Must have lost his mind and is not alright
Turtle truly never could ever have a thrill
Until he read Frost and Rogers named Will.

Many great ideas from them he did receive
First, always in yourself you must believe
Second, are many things that God granted
And a poem in your mind He has planted.

James Thomas Horn, Retired Veteran

Frost, Nash and Will Rogers are my favorite writers.

Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: food, funny

Mock Turtle Soup

Did you happen to see old Sam?
He's my poor turtle on the lam

It  happened he was told
That his body had been sold

To a restaurant in the city
Where the cook had little pity

On the stove he put the pot
And the veggies that he got

But he had no turtle meat
So decided he would cheat

Chicken tastes about the same
Or so the turtles always claim

So his turtle soup became a mock
Cause he made it with chicken stock

!

For the Turtle Soup Contest

Poem Details | by Sidney Hall Mad Poet |
Categories: funny

Turtle soup

Turtle soup in Zimbabwe is a delicacy
Caused fights between my siblings and me

Alas, due to the shortage we couldn’t eat it all at once 
So one leg at a time which left them with a bounce

But a funny thing happened one day
One of the buggers decided to run away

Now our turtle soup has never been the same
I was the youngest so I took the blame

We looked high and we looked low
But had to settle for the scraping from dad’s big toe

Alas, our turtleless soup now has a cheddar edge
At least we have it served with an extra helping of veg.

If you ever in the town 
And happen to see it bouncing on the ground

Call me
And we’ll cook’em and have him for tea.

© 2000

Poem Details | by Brenda McGrath |
Categories: animal, humorous,

The Turtle With the Half Dollar

I was riding my bike along a country road,
When I saw a big turtle carrying a strange load.
I got off my bike, then the turtle came to a complete stop.
He was protecting his shiny prize and refused to drop.

It was a bright half dollar in his mouth oddly enough.
He had a hard time getting it in his mouth so overstuffed!
I found a stick to give the turtle a poke,
To see if he would let it go, and not choke!

I prodded him, and he dropped it like a hot potato,
Then went off running, doing a little flamingo.
I pocketed the half dollar and went on my way,
Happy the turtle was free, and fifty cents now my pay.

Poem Details | by Dawn Drickman |
Categories: animals, children, funny, nature,

The Turtle

The turtle is rather short, not tall
He is kind of fat, not thin
But should you visit him at his home
You will find he's always in

Poem Details | by Doris Culverhouse |
Categories: funny

Talking Turtle Soup

Laverne a man from Po' Biddy
Raised by himself with no family

Lived off the land and by God's hand
His favorite was turtle soup real bland

One day he drank some toxic moonshine
Then the turtle started talking real fine

Laverne got scared and jumped in the river
He drank like a fish and swole his liver

Laverne could not eat turtle and taters again
He felt it was a real sin to eat talkin' kin

Poem Details | by Regina Elliott |
Categories: 6th grade, 7th grade, car, funny,

Turtle

I was rounding the corner in my wonky car,
box turtle in the road not getting far,
stopped my tired homebound ride,
the wee fellow's eyes got real wide,
he beat feet,
he's now a terrapin track star!

Poem Details | by Daisy Ward |
Categories: fun, funny,

THE TURTLE

The turtle entered a race
Tried to run at his own pace
He fell way behind
Still crossed the finish line
Then, felt like it was just a waste