Humorous and funny Vacation poems and/or funny poems about Vacation. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Vacation funny poems!
Written by
Jadazzle United
Categories:
humorous, vacation,
Vacation Disaster
We arrived at the airport quite late
My passport was months out of date
My husband was snappy
The baby filled its nappy
I just stood there and got quite irate
The pilot had been on the pop
On the runway he couldn't stop
He just missed a tree
Stopped off for a pee
Now his career is facing the chop
Our hotel was two star not four
Cockroaches crawled on the floor
We got a terrible fright
In the middle of the night
A tornado blew off our door
Written for Vacation Humor Contest Sponsored By Carolyn Devonshire
07~23~14
Written by
Tim Ryerson
Categories:
funny, vacation,
Wally Needs To Lighten Up a Little
We went on a Lampoon vacation
Drove damn near across our great nation
We found Wally World
The rides made me hurl
(Can’t repeat Wally’s exclamation)
Submitted for: Carolyn’s contest
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
anger, holiday, humor, money, travel,
Vacation, Duration, Frustration, Grrr
I know of a pretty New Jersey lass
Who decided to vacation First Class
But on the very first night
Oh no! Cancelled flight
What a total pain in the ***
I'm sure her tomorrows will be better
Or she'll surely be posting a letter
If her plane don't take off soon
It could be worse than High Noon
She'll be angry, we'll just have to fetter
When things couldn't have gotten any worse
Once again she has to dip into her purse
For the flight is okay
But triple charges she'll pay
A vacation just shouldn't be a curse
.
Written by
Arlene Smith
Categories:
adventure, funny,
My Vacation
Well, this is how my vacation went;
determined to stay in my camping tent.
The wind blew hard.
My tent sailed far.
I found it but all of the poles were bent.
Made it to Yellowstone after dark.
Didn't see the NO TENTS sign in the park.
Got mauled by a bear.
Moose in heat at me stares.
If he catches me, I'm sure it will smart!
I made it to the Old Faithful show.
First time ever she didn't blow.
My vacation sure did.
Next year I'll be hid;
in the safety and comfort of my own home!
Contest: Vacation Humor
Sponsor: Carolyn Devonshire
Written by
Warner Baxter
Categories:
city, crazy, funny, hilarious, silly, travel
European Vacation
There once was a man from Rome
who's head was shinny like chrome
gave the world spiritual hope
was given the title of Pope
now he wears a hat like that of a gnome
~*~
There once was a girl that lived in Brussels
who married a man, now they're the Russell's
she was kind of a geek
he was more than weak
she with no brains him without muscles
~*~
There once was a girl from France
who danced on stage with no pants
she showed off her tush
but never her bush
she left the crowd in a trance
~*~
Written by
Cheryle Sanders
Categories:
funny,
Fantasy Vacation
I dream of a fantasy vacation
At a steamy, exotic location
I’d pound Monkey's Martini
In my polka dot bikini
And sip water for added hydration.
Written by
Faye Gibson
Categories:
funny, marriage, vacation,
Honeymoon Vacation
Just a honeymoon beach vacation,
a fine nuptial love celebration;
we arrived a night early,
we would find hotel surely:
“No rooms” was the sad proclamation.
“An hour away you might find one.”
They were right for we only found…NONE!!
We got off beaten path.
too tired then to laugh,
looked for a place “mom and pop” run.
Well, it must have been close to midnight,
exhausted the lady and her knight;
we found Motel Warwick,
a guest house illicit,
and christened our honeymoon site.
Copyright, July 13, 2014
Faye Lanham Gibson
Written by
Karen Croft
Categories:
funny,
Vacation
relaxation helps
a vacation would not hurt
county fair and food
Written by
Martin Kloess
Categories:
funny, humor, love, lust, sexy, vacation
The Vacation That Saved An Affair
I need a vacation she said
From all of this playing in bed
And she let him know
There’s more to love’s glow
By moving on sofa instead
Written by
Cheryl Hoffman
Categories:
dream, funny,
No Frills Vacation
As she envisions boarding the plane,
she whoops a big hooray,
but then she's quickly back to earth,
realizing all the bills to pay…
Her dream vacation is to one day
see the sights and sounds of London,
but for now she'll have to settle
for some bathwater filled with Calgon!
Written by
Robin Davis
Categories:
funny, vacation,
Problems In Paradise
A vacation on an island
Had me all shook up and cryin'
I was supposed to surf on top
Of waves but all I did was plop
On my front side really hard
Leaving it all red and scarred
Now I can't wear my bikini
Waves of terror were a meanie
My nice figure is now covered
As I lay on the beach hovered
By hot sun making me sweat
I can not even get wet
Because I look like an apple slice
Half of me red, the other white
Written by
Brigitte Pace
Categories:
humorous, travel, vacation,
Vaction Hell As Far As I Can Tell
Something like this could only ever happen to me
I’ve boarded a plane and flown to the wrong country
Alitalia decided to strike while we were in mid air
That was the end of my first love affair
Here in Albania things don’t look great
I was always slim but here I've lost weight
Managed to get out of this terrible place
You should see the colors of the spots on my face
I start my vacation at long last
I fall in a pot hole and end up in a cast
The Italians love me so
They’ve stolen my passport and I have nowhere to go.
Written by
Kurtis Scott Aka Curtis Futch Jr
Categories:
candy, funny love,
Vacation Sex
it was few weeks away
the hotel we would stay
it was nices
we didn't think twices
a largh bed
haveing sex was in my head
we checked in
the bed just blend
we rock and sock
it was all night lone we got it on
thinking of it am still wet
it was
VACATION SEX
Written by
Cheryl Hoffman
Categories:
boat, humor, vacation,
Viking Cruise
They read all about the Viking cruise
going for the first time they hadn't a clue
the addendum read
and actually said
no raiding allowed which means the fridge too!
9-12-17
Written by
Ryan Graham
Categories:
humorous, poetry, vacation, words, writing,
I Would Have Written This Poem
I would have written this poem, but all the words grew feet.
I opened MS Word, they turned and ran right off the sheet.
I looked for them on Facebook. Not a word in sight.
There wasn’t one on TV. Believe me, I looked all night.
I checked inside the Play Station, I went through every game.
They weren’t inside my iPhone, I texted every name.
I grew tired, walked to bed. On the sheets I found a note.
“Vacation in Mexico. We’ll send a postcard from the boat."
Written by
Dave Collins
Categories:
adventure, analogy, humor,
Typical American On Vacation
See shot glasses filled with fun
See many shot glasses, have I begun?
Drink, drank, drunk
What's the bread for?
Ohh, dipping. Yea.
Written by
Dr. Upma A. Sharma
Categories:
angst, humor,
Vacation Humor
Our sponsor papers much earlier had reached,
To my dear sister we had promised,
This vacation we were to spend in Brisbane,
Surgeon declared emergency, plans in vain,
Oh trip to Australia, landed up in hospital instead!
Planned a gala party at home,
Leaving unturned not a single stone,
Invitation sent to esteemed guests,
Sickness left me quite stressed,
Food bland soups, no lavish bone!
Planned to meet beloved on a bright day,
Dressed in favourite blue, I was on my way,
Much to my agony, he said he was stuck,
A bad vacation it was, and my bad luck,
Consoled myself, thinking he must be gay !
Written on 13/7/14
Contest- Vacation humor
Sponsor- Carolyn Devonshire
Written by
Patricia Sawyer
Categories:
adventure, education, funny, holiday, school, seasons
What I Did Over My Summer Vacation
I chopped and hoed and planted seed
... dug a swimming hole
I picked and shucked and canned the corn
.... killed an ugly mole..
I read some books then read some more..
.... climbed up the old pine trees
I fell right down and hit the ground
.... Skinning both my knees....
I played a song .. and danced a spell
... on Grandma's metal drum
and though she tried to look away
... I heard my sister hum..
Now that it's time for back to School..
.. I hate to hear them say..
Now write some words that tell us how
...you spent the holiday!
Written by
Paula Goldsmith
Categories:
child, dad, fun, giggle, uplifting, vacation
Light Hearted Kid
Do you remember when phones had a cord to the wall outlet?
Our son was about five years old.
We were in a hotel room and he wanted to call daddy.
He ran over to the phone and picked it up.
As he looked at me with a very puzzled look, he said it has no dial tone.
Yes, no dial tone because we are in a hotel room.
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
family, funny, holiday, imagination, lifeme,
After the Vacation and Dirty Clothes
The Mother Ship has brought me in
I must now clear the den
Of all the dirties from the trip
I have, I have to get a grip
Packing up and arriving home
Has left me somewhat alone
Everyone has disappeared to separate space
Now I have to have the grace
Not complain but do the work
Of coming home to the same old stuff
Grind of everyday has its way
Of sucking the life right away
Written by
Rio Jansen
Categories:
boat, fish, fishing, humor, longing, vacation
I wanna go back to Michigan
I wanna go back to Michigan
so I catch me some really good fish again.
The fish from any other U.S. lake
tend to give me such a bellyache,
that I can't wait to have a Michigan fish on my dish again.
Written by
Paula Goldsmith
Categories:
humor, sick, sleep, travel, uplifting, vacation
Hospital
"The world has many great places to vacation,
a hospital is not one of them." By Poet
There are times when we go to the hospital
by car or by ambulance.
One gets hurt or becomes sick,
then off we go.
We may need rest,
but they keep us up all night.
We may even need a repair or two,
like Frankenstein.
A hospital is not a fun place,
even the sick will agree to that.
Next time you need a vacation,
take out a map.
Written by
Gershon Wolf
Categories:
car, food, funny,
A Brief Vacation From Inflation
One problem with gasoline is, it smells
Another is, prices are high as hell --
But a real good friend of mine
Pays just a buck forty-nine --
Says he stocks up daily at Taco Bell
Written by
Jim Healey
Categories:
christmas, humor,
Frosty’s Vacation
Frosty really loved to travel you know,
but couldn't go to a place with no snow.
All his friends heard him chatter
"This is snow laughing matter!
Maybe Antarctica's where I should go!"
On the way south he saw a cantina
right at the bottom of Argentina;
and there he did manage
to take full advantage
of a sale on frozen Margaritas.
Frosty, by way of explanation,
vacationed at McMurdo Station.
He met a snow sprite
whose name was Pearl White.
It's said they had quite a flirtation!
Written by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
Categories:
animal, humorous, nonsense, silly, sports, surreal
King Kong's Chinese Vacation
King Kong plays ping pong
His doorbell goes ding dong
And you'll hear his singsong
Chitterings that ring wrong.
Bing bong goes the Ming gong
Just see how the string's long
Thanks goes to Ling Wong
Who tossed the I-Ching strong.