Humorous and funny Vacation poems and/or funny poems about Vacation. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Vacation funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Vacation Poems.
We arrived at the airport quite late
My passport was months out of date
My husband was snappy
The baby filled its nappy
I just stood there and got quite irate
The pilot had been on the pop
On the runway he couldn't stop
He just missed a tree
Stopped off for a pee
Now his career is facing the chop
Our hotel was two star not four
Cockroaches crawled on the floor
We got a terrible fright
In the middle of the night
A tornado blew off our door
Written for Vacation Humor Contest Sponsored By Carolyn Devonshire
We went on a Lampoon vacation
Drove damn near across our great nation
We found Wally World
The rides made me hurl
(Can’t repeat Wally’s exclamation)
Submitted for: Carolyn’s contest
Jerry T Curtis
fish, fishing, funny, humor, humorous, ireland, vacation,
Finn and Mcgee
went fishing once more
With the money they saved up all year
They rented a cabin
up by the lake
And filled it with fish bate and beer
For two weeks of fishing
They made it their mission
To wake up and start at first light
With poles in their hands
They hardly could wait
For a big fish to come up and bit
Day after day
They fished and they fished
but barely got even a nibble
Then on the last day
McGee caught a trout
That apparently wasn't so fickle
Now on the way Home
Finn said " McGee
You Know what this fish, has cost you----
---A thousand Quid"
"Well Finn, if it did
Then I glad I didn't catch two"
anger, holiday, humor, money, travel,
I know of a pretty New Jersey lass
Who decided to vacation First Class
But on the very first night
Oh no! Cancelled flight
What a total pain in the ***
I'm sure her tomorrows will be better
Or she'll surely be posting a letter
If her plane don't take off soon
It could be worse than High Noon
She'll be angry, we'll just have to fetter
When things couldn't have gotten any worse
Once again she has to dip into her purse
For the flight is okay
But triple charges she'll pay
A vacation just shouldn't be a curse
Well, this is how my vacation went;
determined to stay in my camping tent.
The wind blew hard.
My tent sailed far.
I found it but all of the poles were bent.
Made it to Yellowstone after dark.
Didn't see the NO TENTS sign in the park.
Got mauled by a bear.
Moose in heat at me stares.
If he catches me, I'm sure it will smart!
I made it to the Old Faithful show.
First time ever she didn't blow.
My vacation sure did.
Next year I'll be hid;
in the safety and comfort of my own home!
Contest: Vacation Humor
Sponsor: Carolyn Devonshire
city, crazy, funny, hilarious, silly, travel, vacation,
There once was a man from Rome
who's head was shinny like chrome
gave the world spiritual hope
was given the title of Pope
now he wears a hat like that of a gnome
There once was a girl that lived in Brussels
who married a man, now they're the Russell's
she was kind of a geek
he was more than weak
she with no brains him without muscles
There once was a girl from France
who danced on stage with no pants
she showed off her tush
but never her bush
she left the crowd in a trance
I dream of a fantasy vacation
At a steamy, exotic location
I’d pound Monkey's Martini
In my polka dot bikini
And sip water for added hydration.
funny, marriage, vacation,
Just a honeymoon beach vacation,
a fine nuptial love celebration;
we arrived a night early,
we would find hotel surely:
“No rooms” was the sad proclamation.
“An hour away you might find one.”
They were right for we only found…NONE!!
We got off beaten path.
too tired then to laugh,
looked for a place “mom and pop” run.
Well, it must have been close to midnight,
exhausted the lady and her knight;
we found Motel Warwick,
a guest house illicit,
and christened our honeymoon site.
Copyright, July 13, 2014
Faye Lanham Gibson
a vacation would not hurt
county fair and food
funny, humor, love, lust, sexy, vacation,
I need a vacation she said
From all of this playing in bed
And she let him know
There’s more to love’s glow
By moving on sofa instead
As she envisions boarding the plane,
she whoops a big hooray,
but then she's quickly back to earth,
realizing all the bills to pay…
Her dream vacation is to one day
see the sights and sounds of London,
but for now she'll have to settle
for some bathwater filled with Calgon!
kurtis scott aka curtis futch jr
candy, funny love,
it was few weeks away
the hotel we would stay
it was nices
we didn't think twices
a largh bed
haveing sex was in my head
we checked in
the bed just blend
we rock and sock
it was all night lone we got it on
thinking of it am still wet
adventure, analogy, humor,
See shot glasses filled with fun
See many shot glasses, have I begun?
Drink, drank, drunk
What's the bread for?
Ohh, dipping. Yea.
Dr. Upma A. Sharma
Our sponsor papers much earlier had reached,
To my dear sister we had promised,
This vacation we were to spend in Brisbane,
Surgeon declared emergency, plans in vain,
Oh trip to Australia, landed up in hospital instead!
Planned a gala party at home,
Leaving unturned not a single stone,
Invitation sent to esteemed guests,
Sickness left me quite stressed,
Food bland soups, no lavish bone!
Planned to meet beloved on a bright day,
Dressed in favourite blue, I was on my way,
Much to my agony, he said he was stuck,
A bad vacation it was, and my bad luck,
Consoled myself, thinking he must be gay !
Written on 13/7/14
Contest- Vacation humor
Sponsor- Carolyn Devonshire
humorous, poetry, vacation, words, writing,
I would have written this poem, but all the words grew feet.
I opened MS Word, they turned and ran right off the sheet.
I looked for them on Facebook. Not a word in sight.
There wasn’t one on TV. Believe me, I looked all night.
I checked inside the Play Station, I went through every game.
They weren’t inside my iPhone, I texted every name.
I grew tired, walked to bed. On the sheets I found a note.
“Vacation in Mexico. We’ll send a postcard from the boat."
A vacation on an island
Had me all shook up and cryin'
I was supposed to surf on top
Of waves but all I did was plop
On my front side really hard
Leaving it all red and scarred
Now I can't wear my bikini
Waves of terror were a meanie
My nice figure is now covered
As I lay on the beach hovered
By hot sun making me sweat
I can not even get wet
Because I look like an apple slice
Half of me red, the other white
humorous, travel, vacation,
Something like this could only ever happen to me
I’ve boarded a plane and flown to the wrong country
Alitalia decided to strike while we were in mid air
That was the end of my first love affair
Here in Albania things don’t look great
I was always slim but here I've lost weight
Managed to get out of this terrible place
You should see the colors of the spots on my face
I start my vacation at long last
I fall in a pot hole and end up in a cast
The Italians love me so
They’ve stolen my passport and I have nowhere to go.
boat, humor, vacation,
They read all about the Viking cruise
going for the first time they hadn't a clue
the addendum read
and actually said
no raiding allowed which means the fridge too!
adventure, cheer up, emotions, fantasy, hilarious, imagination, vacation,
Afloat laid back
On the surging waves
In the ocean of love
‘O’ mermaids of ecstasy
Relish the bliss
In drapes of darkness
Like diamond studs
‘O’ fireflies of hope
Flap your jovial wings
Twinkle the fervency
White body of silk-cotton
Electric swords in bosom
‘O’ clouds of desire
Do rain in drops
Drench the facade of affection
Warm embrace around trellis
Amid tender foliage of caress
Pair of sparrows sharing beaks
‘O’ pistils of blush
Shower the fragrance
Flush the ambiance
adventure, education, funny, holiday, school, seasons
I chopped and hoed and planted seed
... dug a swimming hole
I picked and shucked and canned the corn
.... killed an ugly mole..
I read some books then read some more..
.... climbed up the old pine trees
I fell right down and hit the ground
.... Skinning both my knees....
I played a song .. and danced a spell
... on Grandma's metal drum
and though she tried to look away
... I heard my sister hum..
Now that it's time for back to School..
.. I hate to hear them say..
Now write some words that tell us how
...you spent the holiday!
adventure, america, funny, places, poems, travel, vacation,
Northern Maine in the north country air
Ask direction did the road go where
In a heavy north Maine dialect
Came the answer return so correct
Road don't go nowhere it just lays there
family, funny, holiday, imagination, lifeme,
The Mother Ship has brought me in
I must now clear the den
Of all the dirties from the trip
I have, I have to get a grip
Packing up and arriving home
Has left me somewhat alone
Everyone has disappeared to separate space
Now I have to have the grace
Not complain but do the work
Of coming home to the same old stuff
Grind of everyday has its way
Of sucking the life right away
family, funny, me,
I can't seem to take a vacation
No matter how hard I try
Boys joining the army
Girls hormones on the fly
Ford needs a tranny
Chevy needs a clutch
Mustang needs a starter
Grand Prix needs a water pump...not much
My Dodge, my baby
Now the kids use every day
I'ts keeping me here
I wanna go play
After 40 years of
Living a hectic life
In need a break f from being a mom
Being an ex-wife LOL
I guess maybe when I'm 50
I can get away
From all the things now
That are making me stay
for your fortification
Then you need
a long vacation
'Judgment, thou art fled to brutish beasts...'
Marc Antony's 'Funeral Oration' in Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar"
childhood, education, family, funny, happiness, people, seasons, summer, summer,
I've waited all year
to hear that bell ring.
When I finally hear it,
You know I will sing...
HOORAY FOR VACATION
and GET READY FOR FUN!!
I want to do nothing
(but maybe lay in the sun.)
I want to hear crickets
and bees buzzing low.
I'll weed out my garden
and watch my plants grow.
If ever I've needed a summer to rest,
this would be the summer I needed it best.