Funny Poems About Violence or Violence Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Violence poems and/or funny poems about Violence. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Violence funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Violence Poems.

Poem Details | by Poet Destroyer A |
Categories: adventure, anti bullying, boat, humor, slavery, violence, voyage,

Pirate Bay

```Pirate Bay the Haiku``` 

pirates fierce and mean 
drowning fish, sea to sea 
parrots on their butt 

```Polly Wants A Cracker``` 

bloodthirst & brutal 
Quartermaster Gone Wild 
dirty wings on deck 

```Sea World Adventure``` 
ship crew goes on strike 
sailing the Caribbean 
wooden leg splashing 


Poem Details | by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories: animal, children, humorous, nature, nursery rhyme, pets, violence,


You shouldn't poke at monkeys
	unless you're a dummkopf
Who gets precisely what's deserved --
	your fingers bitten off.

Poem Details | by Dorian Petersen Potter |
Categories: confusion, film, funny, humor, humorous, irony, violence,

Batman and Robin


Batman and Robin hit the Joker
But their blow was only a croaker
The Joker hit back
But instead hit Jack
Who said "I'm glad, the Joker's an smoker!

Dorian Petersen Potter
Aka ladydp2000


Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: food, fruit, humorous, people, spoken word, violence, words,

A Peach and a Speech

The bigger/the richer/the faster the peach, 
the better the chance to catch up someone's speech.

Volodymyr Knyr

Poem Details | by Lisa Costigan |
Categories: drink, funny love, humorous, violence,

Your Having a Giraffe

Just a normal Sunday sitting on my chair
When all of sudden in walked my auntie uncle Claire

What the hell you doing barging in like that??
He said your not going fu**ing believe it? I just ran over your Cat

I said the only pussy in this house is my other half,
We played a few drinking games and i beat him at charades
He soon ad enough of that tho so i  pulled out deck cards then he stared moaning reckon the games i play are hard.

Well i had enough of his lip i couldn't take no more
so rubbed his face on cheese grater and now hes bloody sore.

Poem Details | by Anthony Beck |
Categories: anger, angst, giggle, music, violence,

Game of Starbucks

I am standing 
In a line scene
Cuz my body
Needs its caffeine 

And in front of me some dink
Orders a confusing drink
Now he’s changing ‘round his order
With our patients growing shorter

And a sword from
Someone’s pocket
Now sticks through the
Guy’s eye socket

Du du du du 
Du du du du
Du du du-du du-du du-du...

Poem Details | by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories: death, funny, humor, life, murder, repetition, violence,

Dead Yet

Am I dead yet? 
Am I dead yet?
Am I dead yet?
Yes gawdam it.

Poem Details | by Gail Foster |
Categories: animal, emotions, humor, philosophy, truth, violence, wisdom,

The Mystic Aardvark

Alan the mystic
Rejected wrath and
Violence and ire
Alan said
Result in endless

by Gail

Poem Details | by Kevin Shaw |
Categories: funny, nonsense, silly, snow, violence, winter,

In the Snow

In the Snow

As I was walking in the Snow,
I met a friend I didn't know.
You know me, I'm the one,
Stole your wife in Eighty One.

I smiled, then buried him in the snow

Poem Details | by Randy Johnson |
Categories: funny, humor, husband, violence, wife,

My Wife's Car Is In the Lake

I forgot to set the parking brake.
So now my wife's car is in the lake.
You're looking at a man who can never catch a break.
My wife kicked my *** just because I made a mistake.
She broke my left leg and I'm having to use a crutch.
I don't blame her for being mad but coming at me with a chainsaw is a bit too much.

(This is a fictional poem)

Poem Details | by Gerald Dillenbeck |
Categories: destiny, earth, health, humanity, humor, power, violence,

Persuasive Powers

I remain both surprised and alarmed
when revolutionary entrepreneurs,
AltRight survivalists,
poor and terrified AfricanAmerican and Hispanic young adult U.S. males,
     and females,
and the National Rifle Association
vociferously agree with Chairman Mao
"Power is found at the end of a gun."

While alarmed
because violence breeds further mindless violence,
I continue to be surprised
because even a child could notice
Power originates from Earth's revolving
and enlightening
relationship to the Sun.

All other points of origin
are secondary,
and perhaps not to be made too anthro-centrically much of.

Poem Details | by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories: animal, humor, insect, murder, nursery rhyme, violence, word play,

Kill a Man, Jaro

Jaro was a killer
He bonked me on the head
He laughed and laughed
"You're dead, you're dead!"
Is what the killer Jaro said.

But I jumped up and kicked his crotch
That knocked him down a knotch
"You're daft! You're daft!"
Said I, said I, the woolly caterpillar.

Poem Details | by Mark Toney |
Categories: animal, conflict, humor, men, violence,

Moisturizing Matador

A well-groomed matador José
Liked to moisturize with Oil of Olay
His hands lost their grip
The cape it did slip
He was gored as he cried out "¡Olé!"

Poem Details | by Ryan Graham |
Categories: humor, humorous, violence,


Why do I drink coffee?
It always makes me poo. 
And when I smell that steaming turd, 
it makes me think of you. 

As you float there in the water, 
I like to think you’re dead. 
I pretend that I have killed you, 
that I pinched off your head.

Poem Details | by Randy Johnson |
Categories: funny, humor, humorous, violence,

Black Friday

It's Black Friday and I grabbed the last iPad.
When I grabbed it, it sure made people mad.
One man kicked me in the crotch and another got his foot stuck in my ***.
Black Friday turns people into beasts, they sure don't have any class.
A man said if I didn't hand over the iPad, he would kidnap my wife's mother.
I told him to take the old crow, they deserve each other.
Black Friday brings out the worst in people and that's sad.
I'll break my foot off in your *** if you try to grab my iPad.

(This is a fictional poem.)

Poem Details | by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories: abuse, anger, bullying, humor, satire, silly, violence,

The Braggy Hooligan

I'm gonna spank Frank and then I'll whip Pip
Before I slug Bug, I'm gonna slap Cap.
I wanna hit Kit; I wanna smack Mac
I'll never like Ike, and I'll destroy Roy.
So I could lick Mick before I kick Rick
Why don't you die Sly, and say goodbye Guy.

Poem Details | by Vernon Witmer |
Categories: anti bullying, bullying, confidence, humor, people, recovery from, violence,

Knee Replacement

you said I was a wuss; 

you said I couldn’t take it.

You said I’d make a fuss; 

you said I wouldn’t make it.

what you said did not make sense; 

you didn’t think I had the guts;

now you’ll  feel the difference; 

with my new knee in your nuts.

Poem Details | by Valsa George |
Categories: anger, funny love, violence,

Shock Treatment

As one freshly released from Bedlam
He asked her, intending no harm
"Can I kiss you madam"?
As if he were her Adam
Her fist fell on his cheek ‘dum’ ‘dum’!

Poem Details | by John Beam |
Categories: humorous, parody, satire, violence,

A Nation Zzz's

Butterflies and chickens                                                                                                                                                                     who knows, Maybe                                                                                                                                                                 the next catch phrase

Poem Details | by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories: body, character, corruption, funny, hate, murder, violence,

Colonel Flighty

Colonel Flighty is a cad
Thinks himself a funny wag
Thinks he's mighty, ain't that sad
"Look at me! A strutting stag!"

Jiggly belly, jowls that sag
Throat all phlegmy, such a drag
Trousers smelly, makes you gag
Leaky colostomy bag.

Toss him quickly drown a crag
If he lives we'll be so mad
End his sickly feeble brag
Hear his fading shout, "Egad!"

Poem Details | by Gerald Dillenbeck |
Categories: culture, health, humor, power, usa, violence,

Presidential Comedians

I hear in the Ukraine
there's a comedian
with no prior political experience
who has become their new President.

I wonder
they did not hear
we tried this model in the U.S.
a couple years ago

With predictable tragic/comedic results
not the least bit friendly
to public multicultural health
sold out
to support feudal monoculturing wealth
of not so funny kleptocrats.

Poem Details | by Gerald Dillenbeck |
Categories: caregiving, humor, integrity, mental illness, psychological, usa, violence,

Epic Paranoia

I wonder if this is an Elder RightBrain epidemic, 
this confusion of NRA origins 
as National Rifle Association 
or National Republican Army; 

A distinction of labels 
perhaps without difference,

Sharing the same U.S. RedMeat population 
of awesomely hungry pirates.

Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: giggle, snow, violence, weather,

A Weather Wizard

A weather wizard
    delivered a blizzard
      to Chicago yesterday

    If I weren’t so lily-livered  
    I’d have torn out his gizzard
      ~ right away

Poem Details | by Anil Deo |
Categories: bible, business, god, humor, jesus, jewish, violence,

Humor At Jesus' Expense - 22 May 2020

Why was Jesus a Leftist? please extrapolate.
In John 2, Jesus overturns the money-changers' tables
In Mark 11, and Matthew 23, He cleansed the Temple of trade
He got to the City, took a left turn, not right to Roman garrisons
Jesus made a left, upset trade, earned his stripes as a LEFTIST.

Smith Wigglesworth, on the Bible, the only book he learned to read at 23: "When I read the newspaper I feel dirtier than I went in. When I read the Bible I feel cleaner than I went in. And I like feeling clean."

Poem Details | by Olabosoye Wemimo Olaoluwa |
Categories: art, betrayal, hilarious, pollution, silly, vanity, violence,

Rigid Ego

Wickedness can be use for rapists 
But what will one attach to plagiarists?