Humorous and funny Waiting poems and/or funny poems about Waiting. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Waiting funny poems!
Written by
Donald Meikle
Categories:
funny, sports,
Note To a Lady In Waiting
The white charger's belly is bloated with hay
The helmet helm's rusted quite shut
The tack room door hinges are tearing away
The leather's un oiled and dry
The lance is still good
It is bracing the fence
but I traded the sword for a pen
I am presently seeking a page
So if you're still waiting
and anticipating
A Lochinvar ending of sorts
I shall purchase wild oats for the horse
I recall how to sow them of course
With hardly a shred of remorse
Written by
Carol Register
Categories:
funny, time, time,
Customer Service...I'M Still Waiting
I'm still waiting
How much time has elapsed
Think I'll read
While I'm waiting
I just read a chapter
I do believe my call is being answered
No, a voice on a machine echoes
"Your call will be taken in the order in which it was received"
Great
What number caller was I
Probably the 1000th caller
I'll touch up my manicure
While I'm waiting
I'm still waiting
Rats
I smudged my polish on one nail
Wonder If I have time to fix it
Before they break their necks to take my call
They must be averaging one call every ten minutes
I'll continue reading
Another chapter done
I'm still waiting
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
art, friend, funny, giggle, humorous, poets, woman,
Waiting For Any Woman
Be patient
be very very patient
after that
add more patience
then wait
and wait
and wait and wait and wait
become a waiter
at least you will be paid to wait
When she finally finally arrives
give her the biggest smile you possibly possess
tell her, "Hello love, you are early and
looking very majestically beautiful my sweet!
what have you done to your hair love?"
since you have waited a century or two or three
it's a safe gamble she has, and you my friend
will be a big winner.
Therefore when you wait and wait and wait
be a winner
even skeletons
smile
Written by
Teddy Kimathi
Categories:
crazy, fantasy, funny, hilarious, humorous, imagery, urban,
Waiter and Waiting
How long will I wait Mr. Waiter?
You only brought me water,
yet I requested for ox-tail soup,
and a bowl of carrots and a tulip.
Mr. Waiter, you are not serving a rat;
I'm by all facial definitions a brown cat.
Sometimes I'm a disciplined vegetarian,
like my rabbit friend, whose Hungarian.
I'm so hungry that I can eat a whole horse;
ask my master who never leaves his house.
For a long time, you've looked at me like a ghost;
you've never seen a talking cat as your guest?
I can see your eyes so surprised with wonder;
wait until you hear the order of one Mr. Panda!
Written by
Terry Flood
Categories:
death, humorous,
Waiting For God: Oh
At my breakfast table, a ghost
Has just opened all of my post
What’s his caper
That’s my paper
He’s now got his teeth in my toast
Written by
Robert Skinner
Categories:
addiction, appreciation, change, childhood, dream, funny, imagination,
Waiting
Waiting.... That's All I Ever Did.
Get There!!
I know I will soon,
But where is there? And how much time is left?
I Get There
And wonder where WHEN went.
There is Here....
Gone is Now....
And NEVER Leaves.
Waiting.... That's All I Ever Did.
Got There!
Can't remember How I went, but
Then was There
And Time was sent
Up from Down... When there....I Went.
Waiting.... That's All I Ever Did.
Written by
Rudolph Rinaldi
Categories:
death, humor, humorous, life, longing, philosophy,
Waiting For An Epiphany
STILL
NOT NORMAL
AFTER
ALL THESE YEARS
WAITING
FOR AN EPIPHANY
OR DEATH
Written by
William Darnell Sr
Categories:
celebration, children, christmas, family, for her, for him, funny,
Just Waiting For Me
Just Waiting For Me
What is it, what is it?
I'm delighted to see.
Well, there's a big package,
just waiting for me.
I want to unwrap it,
I'm delighted to see.
There's this big package,
just waiting to be.
Can it be, is it, see,
I really do not know?
Let's open it, let's open it,
This big package I bestow.
It's just waiting for me!
Written by
T Wignesan
Categories:
humorous,
Limerick: Once a Lady-In-Waiting In London
Limerick: Once a Lady-in-Waiting in London
Once (a) Lady-in-Waiting in London
Was kept waiting by a Spanish Don
She stood with one leg up
And called busy Don up
That’s how (the) cramp in the fun got undone.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
Written by
Carolyn Devonshire
Categories:
christmas, humor,
Waiting For Nick
Deb dieted to a size four
She walked and her bones scratched the floor
Her knee caps were locking
But no men came knocking
It’s Christmas, can’t take anymore!
So now Deb sits waiting for Nick
It's cold, he best get here real quick
Ole Nick has eight pets
As good as it gets
It’s rumored they fly (what a trick!)
Nick warned her he carries such pudge
That Deb fears his sleigh will not budge
But he vowed they’d ride
With Rudolph as guide
O’er rooftops through snow, rain and sludge
*November 28, 2018
For Sara’s “Park Bench at Christmas” Contest
Image Number Six
Written by
Betty Harp Butler
Categories:
humorous,
The Waiting Room
I wonder why...
I must sit still and wait
for the Doctor to come in
when I got here so late.
If I'd been on time,
would I have see him at once,
Or would he have just gone out to lunch?
Early or late- on time or slow,
It really doesn't matter what time I go
to the doctor's office I wait...
Written by
Carolyn Devonshire
Categories:
angst, humor,
Waiting For Poetrysoup-Dot-Com
Waiting for poetrysoup-dot-com
Spinning wheel’s hamsters – my brain goes numb
Will my comment be posted
Before my vision’s toasted
Please just wake me up when it is done
Sometimes I read and spend half my day
Hoping each comment will soon display
To return comments, I try
Slowly, a minute goes by
Raise the speed before I drift away
If your time is precious to you too
There must be something else you can do
Take a walk; check when you’re back
Hamsters may have left their track
If there’s an error page, start anew
Written by
William Robinson
Categories:
funny, imagination, on writing and words, love,
Waiting For the Muses
Did you ever suffer writer's block,
When you couldn't write a line?
When you struggled, hoped, and waited
For that inspiration shine?
Did you ever beg the muses
To intervene on your behalf,
And find them in a stubborn mood,
When they'd only sit and laugh?
They've been playing coy with me, now,
For far too many days.
They nearly drive me up the wall,
With their mean, contrary ways.
But I still love 'em, don't you know,
And I'm sure that they love me.
I know they'll sing and dance again,
If I wait patiently.
Written by
George Aul
Categories:
humor,
I'll Be Waiting
I cannot go big this Valentine's Day,
no money to spend - it all went away,
so while I dig for change
my date got rearranged...
she will see me on Go Fly a Kite Day!
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
funny, health, husband, life
Boredom Waiting In Doctor's Office
My husband gets very impatient waiting so I told him to write a poem:
On a farm there was a donkey
Who's feet had a scent that was funky
Because he had stepped in something chunky
By: The Reverend T.
This is my response:
Out of boredom he wrote a verse
In frustration it was very terse
Of course, he did not want to curse
So he used words that were worse
Now he's pacing the floor
Standing right in front of the door (Not true, just needed to be busy)
Nurse tries to enter in a rush
Open door sets him on his tursh
Written by
Jack Ellison
Categories:
humorous, life,
Heaven's Waiting Room
In our great little retirement community
They're dropping like flies around me
Need to break free, must get out this place
It's Heaven's Waiting Room you see
Don't matter if you're healthy as all get out
The grim reaper knows where you live
He's as anxious as hell to whisk you away
And you really have just one life to give
So ignore the guy that's waiting at the door
Do all the things you've always wanted
Relentlessly time keeps marching forward
It's progress remains undaunted
Keep ahead of the game, of that final day
Laugh at that guy with the sickle
Tell him you'll call when your good and ready
This existence can be oh so fickle
© Jack Ellison 2013
Written by
Lochan Chugh
Categories:
for teens, funny, humorous, inspirational, kid, life, teen,
Waiting For Nobel
With the brain, body and behaviour
Of a young boy,
I was standing in a hollow hall,
Continuously staring the art
Of a young artist in free verse,
On the front wall.
Finding the same category
Between us,
I said, “Hi”
And suddenly
All walls replied back.
Is it any sci-fi?
I discovered
That walls have tongue
Not only an ear.
They can also speak,
As they
Can hear.
I discovered a lot more things
And started waiting
For noble prize,
But when I reached
Higher grades
Books said, “Surprise”
All the prizes
Of my discoveries
Were already given away,
And now I am discovering
That what discoveries
Are not done until today.
Written by
Tony Lane
Categories:
funny, love,
The Tale of the Lady In Waiting
There was once within the castle walls a Lady who stood in waiting,
And with her knight she’d spend their time always negotiating.
He’d press her for a little kiss and then he’d want another,
But she’d always push him far away she wasn’t ready to be a mother.
For you see she was a Lady and one who’d been told to wait,
If you asked her knight he’d say that it was a very annoying trait.
She knew that if he would only wait his love could be counted as true,
And when the two of them were at last as one he’d never another pursue.
Then never would she have to worry when he was out on his steed,
Because his heart he’d given to her and true love would fill his need.
Written by
Constance La France
Categories:
christmas, funny,
Waiting For Santa
We kids were wait, waiting for Santa Clause;
Oh, even my cat was tapping her paws.
With wrapped Christmas toys obsessed;
With true "meaning" not yet blessed.
While downstairs with our gifts was. . . Daddy Claus'
______________________
November 27, 2022
Poetry/Limerick/Waiting For Santa
Copyright Protected, ID 11-1505-014-27
All Rights Reserved, 2022, Constance La France
Written for the Premiere contest, A Funny Christmas
or December Holiday Limerick
sponsor, Tania Kitchin, Judged 12/03/2022
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous,
And I'M Still Waiting
It was on a Monday morning that the gasman said he’d call
I waited in all day – he didn’t come at all
Irate I phoned the company and they said they’d guarantee
He would arrive on Wednesday he’d be there by half past three
But Wednesday came and went and still he didn’t come
I phone up again – oh he has an abscess on his bum
Could I be at home on Friday – this time he won't be late
I guarantee he’ll be at your door prompt at half past eight
On Friday I sat and waited and the blighter didn’t arrive
I’ve sent them a bill for my time – I want it paid by half past five!
Jan Allison
8th August 2014
Written by
Barbara Gorelick
Categories:
family, funny
Waiting For the Baby
Standing on a stump, looking down the road..
Waiting for the old truck to come into view.
Brother watching from the roof.. In trouble again.
At last it chugged around the corner..
Smiling faces that cautioned- “quiet now”..
A small blue bundle cradled in loving arms.
At last, the most beautiful face we’d ever seen..
Then that face let out a god-awful screech….
We looked at each other..both thinking..
- Maybe this isn’t going to be so great after all!
Written by
Liberty Robbins
Categories:
funny, husband, wife,
Waiting For Me
Getting ready to go out
First I must shower, shave
That takes about an hour
Then I have to wear two towels
One on my head the other a makeshift dress
This feels good, so I sport that for a spell
That takes up one hour more
Then comes my arsenal of hair guns and wands
You would think I was preparing for some kind of
Weird wizard war
After this I'm on hour four
Then I pick out my outfit
I have several things to choose
All of them your advice asked
Duly noted, but never used
You sigh and return to football
Where are we? Hour five?
Then comes makeup the easy part
Add half an hour
I’m looking good
My grand entrance into the room
Crickets
You’re asleep on the couch
Written by
Tirzah Conway
Categories:
funny
Why Am I Waiting?
Why am I waiting?
I’m tired of holding back;
ready to let go;
I will not delay!
I will tell you how I feel!
Maybe tomorrow?
Written by
Carl Dunford
Categories:
computer-internet, friendship, funny,
Waiting On Line.
Im waiting on line ,
Ive got plenty of time,
the rest is up to you.
are you ready too.
The last week was hell,
we both know too well.
What with this and that ,
we never got to chat,
now another week is here,
lets try again my dear,
I have got so much to say ,
Ican not wait another day,
I hope you have time,
because I have run out of rhyme
so all im asking of you,
is please log on too.
Written by
Rudolph Rinaldi
Categories:
funny, future, life, old,
The Waiting Room
the sign above the door
reads
waiting room
the room is ordinary
dimly lit
like many rooms
many people with white hair
sit around reading
old magazines
with faded pictures
of past glories
a young woman in a white dress
and white shoes
walks in and takes one away
into a small cell
how do you feel
get undressed
stick out your tongue
stick out your arm
piss in a jar
bend over
get weighted
get dressed
go back into
the waiting room
until we call.