Humorous and funny Wedding poems and/or funny poems about Wedding. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Wedding funny poems!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
conflict, food, humorous, wedding,
Not Relishing Cake
My baker’s commissioned to bake
A huge cow shaped iced wedding cake
The groom is a farmer
He sure is a charmer
Its design could lead to heartbreak
When the bride saw the cake how she cried
Her traditional cake was denied
She screamed at the groom
Get out of this room
Then she plunged the knife in the cow’s side
Inspired by but not for contest
02~09~17
Written by
Carolyn Devonshire
Categories:
funny, wedding
Runaway Train
An outdoor wedding, no sign of rain
The bride’s gown had a 10-foot train
Crossing the lawn to her bequeathed
Fido snatched the train in his teeth
And Pop watched eight grand go down the drain
Written by
Carolyn Devonshire
Categories:
funny, wedding,
Green, But No Envy
Had my hair color treated
To surprise the wedding guests
Shock came at the rehearsal
Groom wanted to leave
His once-blonde bride had green curls
She’d been hoping for brunette
Oh, how the bridesmaids chuckled
Wig worn at wedding
Sadly, a true story.
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, relationship, wedding,
Ted's Male Order Bride Footles
Gets book
Takes look
Vast choice
Likes ‘Joyce’
Her smiles
Beguiles
Brown Eyes
Trim thighs
Red lips
Slim hips
Pert '***'
She’ll pass!
HUGE chest …
Impressed!
Ted’s rash
Pays cash
Wants bride
By side
His home
In Rome
Joyce flies
In skies
On plane
From Spain
His ‘bride’
Is WIDE
Huge bum
And Tum
Not young
Ted’s stung
You Lied
He cried
Fat cow…
Leave NOW!
Any poem written in March NOT for a contest
Sponsored by Laura Loo
03~21~17
Written by
Elton Camp
Categories:
humor,
A Wedding During Football Season
A Wedding During Football Season
By Elton Camp
It has often wisely been said
Football season’s no time to wed
Let’s make one thing quite clear
It’s only four months of the year
So a wedding on the day of a game
Is so incredibly selfish and lame
Your wedding may be significant to you
But football games are important too
Those tickets are incredibly hard to get
So when nobody attends, don’t have a fit
Far down the list your wedding does rate
You need to get your priorities straight
Rather than put your friends on the spot
If you must wed then, use the parking lot
During halftime, the ceremony can be done
A tailgate reception is elegant and fun
Written by
Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
Categories:
funny, wedding, february,
February Funny Bone
In the month of February 'twas fate
We chose our special wedding date
A love, I cannot explain
Couldn’t wait to take his name
So why do I still hyphenate?
By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, January 30, 2012
for Linda-Marie's February Funny Bone contest
First place finish
Written by
Begüm Erden
Categories:
funny, love, proposal,
Wedding Proposal of a Spoon
The knives and plate were always between us
With your sister, you were hanging out
With those two handsome knives
At all breakfast, lunch and dinner times
But when you were in the dishwasher
The playboy knife cheated on you
On the dessert plates
Tons of times
Please don’t let him to deceive you
I am the one who will always love you
Written by
Nitesh Aggarwal
Categories:
computer-internet, family, children, funny, husband, wedding
Double Disappointment
I woke up in rapture, when she started to sing.
Naughty whispers in my ears, “Someone’s coming”
My ecstatic view;
A child is due!
Then she continues, “My mother’s visiting”
Written by
Nitesh Aggarwal
Categories:
childhood, death, family, funny, husband, wedding
Roman Wedlock
A baby, pious, was born by aide
He named it Gaias, and felt like a jade
While he cried,
Cause mommy died.
His wife hired yet another maid.
Written by
Elton Camp
Categories:
funny,
Tossing the Wedding Bouquet
Tossing the Bridal Bouquet
By Elton Camp
Their wedding vows bride and groom did say
One more task before they make their getaway
A tradition that started five hundred years ago
But one that is still considered to be fun though
The single ladies are called and all gather about
While the bride throws her bouquet with a shout
Because, by tradition, it has jokingly been said
She who catches it will be the next to be wed
Macey hoped they won’t see her expanding waist
And she came rushing over with greatest haste
The other single girls she brushed right on past
For she had a reason she shouldn’t be wed last
Written by
Paul Schneiter
Categories:
humor, marriage, wedding,
Enough Already
It was the sixth wedding for daughter Judy
who was quite plain and hardly a beauty.
Time came to give away the bride
whereupon her Father replied
"five times I've tried--I've done my duty."
Written by
Clifford Villalon
Categories:
funny, wedding,
Wrong Sent
I went to a church filled with white
Beds of roses scattered in the site
I stepped aside for the dashing bride
Coming down the aisle, a rushing groom with pride.
I was asked why I am dressed all-black?
I said I was invited for necrological.
Everybody nodded why I sounded philosophical
"Oh, I forgot. Tomorrow I will come back!"
Written by
Theresa A.K.A. Reecie
Categories:
funny, wedding,
Wedding Day
She cried at the wedding ceremony
Happy tears, like beautiful peonies
They didn't wed
Like she had said
So she won a ton of U O Me's.
Written by
Mohammad Taha Effendi
Categories:
funny, husband, wedding, wife,
The Hen-Pecked Husband
"The Hen-pecked Husband"
By M. Taha Effendi
(Light Poetry)
The door bell rang yet again,
and yonder heard the distinct voice,
of my dear old wife, full of pain,
drowned all my dreams of rejoice.
then came the thundering slap,
that landed on my cheek now red,
and as I panicked out of my nap,
I realized I had wet my bed.
Written by
Andrew Crisci
Categories:
anniversary, funny, wedding
Zelli's Shoes
Stylish Zelli's shoes are unique,
they stand out in my neat boutique;
what a distinguished look
in a suit nobody took...
green cognac is gorgeous and chic!
Written by
Robert L. Hinshaw
Categories:
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend
Shotgun Wedding
Pa held shotgun to his head
"Marry her son or you're dead"
"It wasn't me" the lad pled
"Yes it was" she said
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Placed No. 2 in John Freeman's " Love or Humor" Contest - January 2011
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
betrayal, humorous, sad love, wedding,
Mail Order Bride Part 2 - For Arthur Vaso - Bawdy Limerick
Ted purchased an Internet bride
She arrived and stood at Ted’s side
But imagine Ted’s shock –
His new ‘bride’ had a ****
Ted’s chagrin cannot be denied
Ted discovered his ‘brides’ name was Bill
Who’d grown breasts with the aid of a pill
Ted was very annoyed
Said their marriage was void
The thought of sex now made him feel ill!
Inspired by a comment Arthur made on my poem posted yesterday called Mail Order Brides
17th February 2017
Written by
Emma Anonymous
Categories:
funny, wedding,
Altar Falter
Don't alter from the altar
But if she does, try to halt her
Written by
Olorunsogo David
Categories:
confusion, funny, husband, wedding,
The Bride
On the wedding
The Bishop co-ordinating
Called in the groom
Only awaiting the bride
Hymns going up in the air
Half hour passed
And yet she is unarrived
"What is delaying you?"
The groom yelled at the Bishop
"Your bride isn't here"
With a dimple from the groom's cheek
Loke side way at his bride
"He has long arrived
I am gay"
dated May
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, wedding,
Rush In Bride
When I saw Bill’s bride in the chapel
I’m shocked to see ‘her’ Adam’s apple
Bill is beaming with pride
At his internet bride
With this chick you’d not want to grapple!
Bill marries this gal called Ludmilla
Her figure looks like a gorilla
It is so clear to see
‘She’s’ had some surgery
I’d term her the bride of Godzilla
06/05/21
Written by
Mark Toney
Categories:
happy, humorous, husband, love, marriage, wedding
Love's Veil Lowered
As she walked down the aisle I was smiling
My blushing young bride was beguiling
After kissing, do tell
I re-lowered the veil
My excuse was "our wedding's freestyling."
Written by
Mike Martin
Categories:
hilarious, humor, love, marriage, wedding,
Hezekiah Munny
The story of Hezekiah Munny
Is one that’s really kind of funny
He married Olive Eo
First cousin to McMar
She didn’t have much money
And she didn’t have a car
She loved dear Hezekiah
She would gladly have his name
But also quite attached, she was
To her given maiden name
Tell me what you want, my love
And what is your new name
Said she to Mr. Munny
Not glory neither fame
My desire and my name
Are the same, Mr. Munny
What else do you think it’d be
Olive Eo Munny
And so they bred the finest brood
Not fond or Mr. Munny
There was Bern, DeMar and Helwit
I told you it was funny
Copyright © Mike Martin 2015
Written by
Sidney Hall Mad Poet
Categories:
funny, husband, life, sad, wedding, wifeme
Marriage In a Nut Shell
I said I do,
But believe me I don’t
What I meant is I do
But she says hell you won’t
When I said I do
I didn’t know it meant her way
So I should have said I don’t
On that so called special day
But if I said I don’t
She would have convinced me I do
I should have ran off that day
But me legs won’t go my way
Me tongue betrayed me
When it said I do
Just to find out later
That if I do or won’t or don’t
"I’m dammed if I do"
"And I’m dammed I don’t"
Written by
Maureen McGreavy Pigeon Tart
Categories:
humor, me, wedding,
Creative Conformity and the Casual Wedding Trend - Not For Contest
Creative conformity
For the majority
Is something in which to take pride
I love getting dressed up
But usually end up
To my detriment out dressing the bride
Written by
Deb Wilson
Categories:
funny, wedding
Who's the Boss
Bride-to-be's running the show.
She's been down this road before.
Poor groom is a first timer.
Does not have a clue!
She says jump,he says"how high?"
Mustn't tick her off,he knows.
Can't wait for the wedding night.
Then he'll be in charge!
By Deb Wilson
for "Wedding Rehearsal"contest
sponsored by Dr. Ram Mehta