Funny Poems About Wedding or Wedding Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Wedding poems and/or funny poems about Wedding. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Wedding funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Wedding Poems.

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: conflict, food, humorous, wedding,

Not Relishing Cake

My baker’s commissioned to bake A huge cow shaped iced wedding cake The groom is a farmer He sure is a charmer Its design could lead to heartbreak When the bride saw the cake how she cried Her traditional cake was denied She screamed at the groom Get out of this room Then she plunged the knife in the cow’s side Inspired by but not for contest 02~09~17

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, wedding

Runaway Train

An outdoor wedding, no sign of rain
The bride’s gown had a 10-foot train
     Crossing the lawn to her bequeathed
     Fido snatched the train in his teeth
And Pop watched eight grand go down the drain

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, wedding,

Green, But No Envy

Had my hair color treated To surprise the wedding guests Shock came at the rehearsal Groom wanted to leave His once-blonde bride had green curls She’d been hoping for brunette Oh, how the bridesmaids chuckled Wig worn at wedding
Sadly, a true story.

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: humorous, relationship, wedding,

Ted's Male Order Bride Footles

Gets book Takes look Vast choice Likes ‘Joyce’ Her smiles Beguiles Brown Eyes Trim thighs Red lips Slim hips Pert '***' She’ll pass! HUGE chest … Impressed! Ted’s rash Pays cash Wants bride By side His home In Rome Joyce flies In skies On plane From Spain His ‘bride’ Is WIDE Huge bum And Tum Not young Ted’s stung You Lied He cried Fat cow… Leave NOW! Any poem written in March NOT for a contest Sponsored by Laura Loo 03~21~17

Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: funny, history, uplifting, urban, visionary, war, wedding, wife

The Earl of Sandwich

Please, sir, some meat and bread
I've not had a morsel for a week
It would stop this terrible hunger
My prospects now are terribly bleak

It's said the Earl is tender hearted
And oh so bloody awful rich
If I could have a taste of his
I'd call the thing a Sandwich

I hate to just come a beggin'
But I'm so hungry I am seeing red
Won't you ask the Earl again
Please, sir, some meat and bread.......

For Joe's Sandwich

Poem Details | by Begüm Erden |
Categories: funny, love, proposal,

Wedding Proposal of a Spoon

The knives and plate were always between us
With your sister, you were hanging out
With those two handsome knives
At all breakfast, lunch and dinner times
But when you were in the dishwasher
The playboy knife cheated on you
On the dessert plates
Tons of times
Please don’t let him to deceive you
I am the one who will always love you

Poem Details | by Rhonda Johnson-Saunders |
Categories: funny, wedding, february,

February Funny Bone

In the month of February 'twas fate
We chose our special wedding date
        A love, I cannot explain
        Couldn’t wait to take his name
So why do I still hyphenate?       

By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, January 30, 2012
for Linda-Marie's February Funny Bone contest

First place finish

Poem Details | by Elton Camp |
Categories: humor,

A Wedding During Football Season

A Wedding During Football Season

By Elton Camp

It has often wisely been said
Football season’s no time to wed

Let’s make one thing quite clear
It’s only four months of the year

So a wedding on the day of a game
Is so incredibly selfish and lame

Your wedding may be significant to you
But football games are important too

Those tickets are incredibly hard to get
So when nobody attends, don’t have a fit

Far down the list your wedding does rate
You need to get your priorities straight

Rather than put your friends on the spot
If you must wed then, use the parking lot

During halftime, the ceremony can be done
A tailgate reception is elegant and fun

Poem Details | by Nitesh Aggarwal |
Categories: computer-internet, family, children, funny, husband, wedding, wife

Double Disappointment

I woke up in rapture, when she started to sing.
Naughty whispers in my ears, “Someone’s coming”
My ecstatic view;
A child is due!
Then she continues, “My mother’s visiting”

Poem Details | by Elton Camp |
Categories: funny,

Tossing the Wedding Bouquet

Tossing the Bridal Bouquet

By Elton Camp

Their wedding vows bride and groom did say
One more task before they make their getaway

A tradition that started five hundred years ago
But one that is still considered to be fun though

The single ladies are called and all gather about
While the bride throws her bouquet with a shout

Because, by tradition, it has jokingly been said
She who catches it will be the next to be wed

Macey hoped they won’t see her expanding waist
And she came rushing over with greatest haste

The other single girls she brushed right on past 
For she had a reason she shouldn’t be wed last

Poem Details | by Nitesh Aggarwal |
Categories: childhood, death, family, funny, husband, wedding, wife,

Roman Wedlock

A baby, pious, was born by aide
He named it Gaias, and felt like a jade
While he cried,
Cause mommy died.
His wife hired yet another maid.

Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: humor, marriage, wedding,

Enough Already

It was the sixth wedding for daughter Judy
who was quite plain and hardly a beauty.
Time came to give away the bride
whereupon her Father replied
"five times I've tried--I've done my duty."

Poem Details | by Jslambert Mister Roboto |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, husband, life, love, passion, people, romance, wedding, wife,

Mrs Hemorrhoid

You messed around 
and married a real 
"pain-in-the butt" man 

known throughout the land 
for ripping
completely deserting 
then leaving 
women hurting

his only claim to fame 
is over reacting 
and lacking class
a self-proclaimed pain in the ***
a crook with line 
and hook to cast 

things will never be the same
trade away your maiden name 
to Mrs. Hemorrhoid 
and wear his name with class.

Poem Details | by Nitesh Aggarwal |
Categories: angst, family, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, husband, love, romance, wedding, wife

Full Circle

Just out of college, we would yearn for a touch
Sleeping together cuddled on the couch
Those were the days!
Of pre-wedding bouquets
Now I am told to go sleep alone on the couch

Poem Details | by Theresa A.K.A. Reecie |
Categories: funny, wedding,

Wedding Day

She cried at the wedding ceremony
Happy tears, like beautiful peonies
They didn't wed
Like she had said
So she won a ton of U O Me's.

Poem Details | by Jslambert Mister Roboto |
Categories: art, food, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, husband, life, love, on writing and words, people, places, romance, social, wedding, wife,

Soup Spoonin'

Online tonite
looks like 
a whole lotta' spoonin'
goin' on in the "Soup"

nosin' around the comment coral
I see love 
amongst the group

hot Soup!
not shaken
marriage scent in the air
no fakin'

where it leads...
we shall see
I know some 
are dippin' crackers in the "Soup"
but Lawd' knows 

Poem Details | by Mohammad Taha Effendi |
Categories: funny, husband, wedding, wife,

The Hen-Pecked Husband

"The Hen-pecked Husband" By M. Taha Effendi (Light Poetry) The door bell rang yet again, and yonder heard the distinct voice, of my dear old wife, full of pain, drowned all my dreams of rejoice. then came the thundering slap, that landed on my cheek now red, and as I panicked out of my nap, I realized I had wet my bed.

Poem Details | by Jslambert Mister Roboto |
Categories: animals, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, husband, life, nature, people, wedding, wife,

Black Widow

She's got a plan
just moved to Florida
one week in the hole
a forced proposal...

maybe if I get a job with insurance;
we'll get married...
then you'll have insurance too!"

a bribe
the spider web is officially constructed
"Charlotte's web"
no...we'll name it
the Black Widow!

Poem Details | by Andrew Crisci |
Categories: anniversary, funny, wedding

Zelli's Shoes

Stylish Zelli's shoes are unique,
they stand out in my neat boutique;
what a distinguished look
in a suit nobody took...
green cognac is gorgeous and chic!

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend

Shotgun Wedding

Pa held shotgun to his head

   "Marry her son or you're dead"

      "It wasn't me" the lad pled

         "Yes it was" she said

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No. 2 in John Freeman's " Love or Humor" Contest - January 2011

Poem Details | by Alexandra Caruso |
Categories: adventure, allegory, angst, animals, confusion, cowboy-western, devotion, fantasy, funny, imagination, inspirational, philosophy, romance, slam, social, sorry, thank you, uplifting, war, wedding,

Drippity Drip Drip

Take me there I don't care Touch my hair Eat this pear!!! I am bare Want to share? Do you care? I am bear I'll let you stare Don't go there By the chair Or on that stair? Your skin is fair You look like Cher Come to my lair But pay my fare Drippity drip drip

Poem Details | by Jonathan Moya |
Categories: beautiful, betrayal, engagement, funny love, girlfriend, goodbye, wedding,

Bride To Be

Oh sweet bride to be 
as the flowers bloom
you snuck to my room 
in hopes of a lustful spoon
Groom anxiously awaits
as your father opens the front gates
No one will comprehend our fate 
Face to face we engage
Stockings, undergarments and satin lace
on the floor they lay 
We embrace and grind away

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: betrayal, humorous, sad love, wedding,

Mail Order Bride Part 2 - For Arthur Vaso - Bawdy Limerick

Ted purchased an Internet bride She arrived and stood at Ted’s side But imagine Ted’s shock – His new ‘bride’ had a **** Ted’s chagrin cannot be denied Ted discovered his ‘brides’ name was Bill Who’d grown breasts with the aid of a pill Ted was very annoyed Said their marriage was void The thought of sex now made him feel ill! Inspired by a comment Arthur made on my poem posted yesterday called Mail Order Brides 17th February 2017

Poem Details | by Clifford Villalon |
Categories: funny, wedding,

Wrong Sent

I went to a church filled with white
Beds of roses scattered in the site
I stepped aside for the dashing bride
Coming down the aisle, a rushing groom with pride.

I was asked why I am dressed all-black?
I said I was invited for necrological.
Everybody nodded why I sounded philosophical
"Oh, I forgot. Tomorrow I will come back!"

Poem Details | by Marrio Biggs |
Categories: adventure, art, faith, family, father, food, friendship, funny, health, music, mystery, time, travel, uplifting, visionary, wedding, beauty, beauty,

True Blue of the Deep

....simply beautiful... it is of beauty to simply write such love letters of poetry, letters joining hands within a sky of words setting a background, upon the "Sea", setting sail.. within a wordsong, as playing winds, just swirl around beautifully of air, that blows a kiss to an angeled choir to sing in perfect key, life, the spice, the scented beauty of a rose in full bloom, the scented beauty of a heart beat, beating in time, with rhyme being so kind hearted and true blue of the deep.