Humorous and funny Wind poems and/or funny poems about Wind. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Wind funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Wind Poems.
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, humorous, wind,
A constipated vicar named Bart
Was in church when he dropped a huge fart
He said 'Lord I have sinned'
For I’ve got pooey wind
Blushing scarlet he did soon depart!
26th April 2016
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, humorous, wind,
For goodness sake, please stop
farting! I can smell that
foul stench all around our
flat. It stinks like a dead
fish! Small kids find it great
fun to let rip with their
farts … and then leave the room !
For fun ... Inspired by F Plaiedes contest… I will go with my gut reaction and enter my Fireworks poem lol
09/22/16
Poem Details | by
Kp Nunez |
Categories:
humorous, wind,
Wind that I pass poisons air with one blow
It stinks to the moon, stays 'til the morrow
Nonchalant, nearly blue, frown on my brow
Don't hold it; Farting is such sweet sorrow. 1
Notes:
1. A play on Shakespeare's famous line, Romeo and Juliet: Act 2, Scene 2.
2. While I do not wish to offend the fine sensibilities of our more delicate poets, most of us are familiar with the The Bard’s propensity to include references to farting in his plays. To name a few:
Comedy of Errors: Scene I; Two Gentlemen of Verona: Scene IV; and Henry IV: Part I
24 October, 2015
Wind, Snow or Rain Acrostrain
Sponsor: Jan Allison
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous,
There once was a fellow named Carter
Who ate refried beans as his starter
He’d blow off his horn
From dusk until dawn
and was a persistent loud farter
24th November 2014
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous,
we cannot see it
its odour is all around
baked bean flatulence
25th April 2015
Poem Details | by
Rico Leffanta |
Categories:
funny, space, stars, wind,
All the fighting Irish see stars
Over pints of Guinness in bars
But Jan has a plan
To transport each man
Its called, "Cork, Uranus to Mars"
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous, wind,
When Father Ted farted in church
The Bishop (who looked just like lurch)
Said ‘say six hail Mary’s
then keep off the dairies’
I know cos I’ve done my research!
Just before you stand in the pulpit
Do digest a small charcoal biscuit
Then clench your butt cheeks
So no foul wind leaks
Be mindful in church where you sit!
If there’s flatulence neath your attire
Just ensure you’re stood next to the choir
As it really annoys
All the little choir boys
To giggle is all they desire!
08/30/21
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, humorous, wind,
I’ve perfected the art
Of withholding a fart
I tighten my buttocks and clench
But when no one is the vicinity
I let rip with a dreadful stench
28th March 2016
Jan Allison
Poem Details | by
A.O. Taner |
Categories:
beautiful, change, cheer up, confidence, cool, courage, cute love, deep, destiny, emotions, environment, fantasy, fear, feelings, first love, for her, funny love, happiness, happy, how i feel, humanity, hyperbole, i am, i love you, inspiration, journey, joy, life, lost love, love, love hurts, miss you, missing, missing you, ocean, paradise, philosophy, pride, romance, romantic, senses, smile, spring, sunshine, travel, uplifting, wind,
imagine the rainbow being
the dark tunnel
you've been stuck in for years
the lighthouse on the horizon,
the beam
that gets brighter as it nears
get soaked in the rain,
feel the sun in your heart,
let go of all your fears.
Poem Details | by
Margaret Foster |
Categories:
funny,
Wind chimes
When ten thin tinkling tin things twinkle and tingle in the wind
twinkling and tinkling the ten thin tin things make a tingling tintinnabulation of joy
The grandchildren think I’m off my head....
Poem Details | by
Betty Harp Butler |
Categories:
humorous, tree, wind,
Listen to the wind
As it ruffles through the trees.
God is blowing his breath.
When the storms come,
Could it be He sneezed?
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, clothes, humorous, wind,
Poor Pauline was caught unawares when she was in a rush
She ripped the seam of her jeans exposing her enormous tush
People started smiling when she had passed their way
For her tiny G-string panties were clearly on display!
She could feel a cooling breeze around her nether region
Thank goodness it was summer and not the winter season!
Jan Allison
24th April 2016
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous,
Have you tried suppressing a big fart -
Clenching your buttocks is a fine art
You hope your windy gas
Doesn’t shoot out your ***
and from the room you quickly depart
7th March 2015
Inspired by BL Devnath’s Please don’t laugh poem
Poem Details | by
Marycile Beer |
Categories:
funny
To go in a circular, spiral, curved
Or crooked course
Breeze, zephyr, puff or bluster
Claptrap, horwash or baloney
Tornado, Cyclone or a disaster
No matter how you put it
If your vehicle stays on the road
In Kansas, South Dakota or Wyoming
You have more than met your goal
Poem Details | by
Paula Goldsmith |
Categories:
flower, humor, morning, rain, spring, sun, wind,
Spring is the time to venture out and play
the pretty flowers are wearing the bees
maybe it is bright and sunny all day
early morning may come with a cool breeze.
Did you remember to put on bug spray
or you will be lunch and eaten alive
make sure that you do not become their prey
watch out for the low large hanging beehive.
Springtime can bring sun and much needed rain
we sneeze and blow our nose as flowers grow
today their beautiful colors will reign
as the soft wind will magically blow.
I cannot wait for this warm special time
and hear the ringing sound from the wind chime.
Date Written:2/2/2023
4 Place
Poem Details | by
Timothy Hicks |
Categories:
humorous, mystery, nature, summer, wind,
sporadic chimes -
an invisible man
knocks at my door
Poem Details | by
Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories:
humor,
That old bedroom fan makes too much noise
But he sweats after nights with the boys
I turn and pull the sheets up
Good Lord, on beans they did sup
Thank goodness the fan his farts deploys
Coming home late, he now hits the couch
Spicy foods growl in his waistline pouch
Old tabby hisses at him
Rover’s expression’s quite grim
If our pets die from foul wind, I’ll grouch
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,”
Said Rhett before he went on the lam
My spouse won’t be hearing these
The next time he cuts the cheese
I’ll clog him with a battering ram
*Written May 18, 2014
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, humorous, wind,
Old Tom Sawyer went into St Bart’s
He said “Doc I am dropping huge farts”
The doc got a large trowel
To examine Tom’s bowel
As Tom’s flatus was way off the charts!
Doc announced, “My prognosis is clear,
But my findings you won’t want to hear -
The reason for the gas
Being passed from your ***
Is your diet of curry and beer!”
Checked using how many syllables
*St Bart’s is a famous hospital in London
Removed from contest
09-14-17
Poem Details | by
Paul Schneiter |
Categories:
humor, wind,
There was an ample dame of Knight
who with her waistline had a fight.
Doing daily exercises
reduced her about six sizes.
In wind she’s seen taking flight.
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
body, humorous, wind,
My cousin’s just earned his degree
He majored in fartology
Now he can impart
What foods make me fart
He’s obsessed by scatology
I confessed that beans give me wind
(It matters not if fresh or tinned)
And onions and sprouts
In any amounts
cause farting that I can’t rescind
The wind I produce is quite drastic
as medics say my colon’s spastic
my poor tummy swells
I release foul smells
I’m thankful my waistband ‘s elastic
FICTIONAL POEM FOR FART-TASTIC CONTEST
Sponsored by Chantelle Anne Cooke
09/15/21
Poem Details | by
Jimmi Canada |
Categories:
art, beauty, character, dream, education, funny, girl, growing up, happiness, jealousy, memory, my children, song, space, star, student, wind,
Roaming in the ropes,
lubing like the tokes,
aging like the folks-
we will to get hard before blasting into the remote!
New ground that you tweet about,
...about a stout boy,
level headed,
awaits his crown,
disastrously loud-
prays of nights that go by days when there are no clouds,
or an enlightened language moving along by a count.
Poem Details | by
John Beharry |
Categories:
animal, funny, humorous, pets, sleep, wind,
dog breaks wind in sleep
awakens and sniffs the air
then bolts from the room
dedicated to dogs and dog lovers
(the funny side)
Poem Details | by
John Beam |
Categories:
humorous, introspection, music, satire, sound, wind, writing,
rough draft it will be lovely music though the flags my pen fails to revise
Poem Details | by
Drjim Martin |
Categories:
funny, wind,
Boisterous Wind
Dr. James E. Martin
©May, 2013
The wind continues to blow
It’s annoying wherever I go.
It messes my hair,
If anyone does care,
Just thought you’d like to know.
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous, wind,
I’m dining with my uncle Bart
And release an SBD fart
My fart stinks like hell
But Bartie can’t tell
Because we’re two meters apart!
(sbd = silent but deadly)
08/06/21