Funny Poems About Wine or Wine Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Wine poems and/or funny poems about Wine. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Wine funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Wine Poems.

Poem Details | by Jan Allison |
Categories: humorous, life,

Wine Connoisseur - For Contest

No one wants to be left on the shelf for years Guess you could say I’ve popped my cork Now I’m fully mature with a rich full body I could be described as a little fruity with a hint of spice Please don’t keep me bottled up Just give me time to breathe Contest :- A wine Connoisseur Sponsor: Chase Trevi 08~14~15

Poem Details | by Robert Ronnow |
Categories: bird, humor, insect, love, men, poetry, wine,

Can Poetry Matter

In the debate between accessible and difficult poems
Poets' poems and poems for people
Only the single poem and private reader matter

Both kinds and anything between can matter or not
Solid or made of air, a vase or heavy clay ashtray
One word repeated or many like a lei

An acquired taste, like wine, and like wine
Not sustenance, yet men die with their miseries
Uncut without it, news and mere matter

I advise everyone to keep a personal anthology of poems that matter
Or not. Perhaps it should be novels. Stones, insect wings,
Feathers, Birds you've seen, People loved.

Poem Details | by Mark Goodson |
Categories: funny, health, life, hair,

The Wisdom of Wine and Gin

My hair has receded and my belly grown fat
There’s hair growing in my ears and I don’t like that
My joints ache all the day and I have troubles with peeing
I’m tired all the time and have glasses for seeing
Gravity has taken over putting life in a downward spin
No wonder I enjoy drinking a little wine and gin

Poem Details | by Hija De La Luna |
Categories: bereavement, death, family, funeral, humor,

In a Wine Bottle

They hate his drinking -
       But they put his ashes in …
A wine bottle urn.


Poem Details | by John Trusty |
Categories: funny, satire

Whine On Mogen David Wine

Mom used to drink this wine for a tonic,
I had no idea she meant a colonic.
So I snuck some of this swill,
moved more than an EX LAX pill
cause the gas sounds were quite polyphonic!

Written 6/22/2011 for the ‘Bottle of Wine” contest

Poem Details | by Tirzah Conway |
Categories: angst, funny, life

My Wine

Time to curl up with a bottle of wine,

    I’m not going to share, this bottle is mine;

          If you want a drink,

          There’s more by the sink;

    And I don’t want to hear anyone whine!

~For the Bottle of wine, (fruit of the vine, when.......) Contest~


Poem Details | by Paula Goldsmith |
Categories: cat, drink, funny, love, pets, uplifting, wine,

My Cat

My cat drank my glass of wine,
she can't get down the steps to dine.
Date Written: 11/14/2021
Sponsored by: L MILTON HANKINS
Note: I do not have a cat. I did have cats for many years.
I do not drink. Just a funny/cute write.

Poem Details | by Reynaldo Mast |
Categories: beautiful, beauty, creation, drink, fruit, humor, humorous, wine,

Grape Wine Drink

Glittering Purple 
So pretty it is so sweet
Fruit of history

Glittering Purple
So pretty it is so sweet
Taste of memory

Glittering Purple
So pretty it is so sweet
Drink from grape it wines

Poem Details | by Just That Archaic Poet |
Categories: drink, humor, wine,

Inder the Unfluence

Starkle, starkle, little twink, 
"Who the hell are you?" I think. 
I'm not under what you'd call 
The alcofluence of incohol. 
I'm just a little slort of sheep, 
I'm not drunk like thinkle peep. 
It's true: I don't know quite who is me yet, 
(The drunker I stand here the longer I get!)
So give me one more fink to drill my cup, 
'Cause I got all day sober to Sunday up.

*Inspired by "Spoonerisms"

Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: drink, hero, humorous, image, magic, men, wine,

Some Ale

Often some ale
makes a man male.

Volodymyr Knyr

Poem Details | by Paula Goldsmith |
Categories: drink, holiday, humorous, new year, sad, stress, wine,

2021 a New Year

2020 drove me to disappear,
2021 is almost here.                                                                                   
Off for drinks and zen,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  all I can say is hooray and amen.                                                                                                                          
Date Written:12/20/2020

3 Place   Christmas Chastushka - Rules Revised Contest Judged:12/24/2020 
Sponsored by: Andrea Dietrich

Poem Details | by Arthur Vaso |
Categories: art, beautiful, humorous, introspection, ireland, wine, women,

Vaso Visits Ireland

Poetry is the fashion
The pope, the last bastion
Out with the old
In with the aborted

Crowds gather in anticipation
Poet Arthur recites To Patrick's Nation
England you see
Believes in the Orange and the free

They shout and they cheer
His fans are waiting for whiskey dear
Redheads filled with dragon tempers
A delight to Arthur's Kingdom of pleasure

Buried among the Scottish thistle
One day yee shall find the orange rose

		that tickles ones fancy

Poem Details | by Harry Horsman |
Categories: funny,

Harry-Elaine Cooking With Wine

My wife loves to cook with wine
when friends come around to dine.
sometimes when she’s in the mood
puts some in the food.

© Harry J Horsman  2011

Poem Details | by Sidney Hall Mad Poet |
Categories: funny

Wine Haha

I... don’t mean to waste your time,
But... boy dose me wife bloody whine.
Do this, do that,
The miserable old bat
I found peace when I pickled her in brine

Poem Details | by Kevin Shaw |
Categories: drink, funny, gospel, humorous, nonsense, wine,

Vicar of Bray

There was a dear Vicar of Bray,
Fell out of his pulpit one day.
Jumping up, said I’m fine,
Too much Communion wine,

That inebriated Vicar of Bray.

Poem Details | by Tracey Pollack |
Categories: fun, humor, humorous, poems, poets,

A Glass of Wine

A glass of wine works every time
First glass of wine, just give it time
Second glass of wine, everything is fine
Third  glass of wine, everything  is  starting to rhyme  
Fourth glass  of  wine , I can't think of another line
Fifth glass of wine,  I  don't care if I'm not a poet
I am awesome and I  know it       ;-)

Poem Details | by Kevin Shaw |
Categories: character, food, funny, nonsense, silly, wine, word play,

The Man From the Wirral

The Man from the Wirral

A gluttonous old man from the Wirral,
Was partial to eating cold Squirrel.
He thought of the flavour divine,
Washed down with vintage Oak Wine.

Such a greedy old man of the Wirral

Poem Details | by Jason Talbott |
Categories: funny

Cheap Wine

Charging nine twenty-five for a glass
Of merlot in this joint? Thanks, I'll pass.
I like Walmart's low rate. 
At just two eighty-eight,
I can drink the whole bottle. What class!

I don't have to own futures and stocks
Or hang out with some overpaid jocks.
'Cuz I've often opined 
That the best wine you'll find
Can be poured from a spout on a box.

Written June 17th for Francine Roberts' Bottle of Wine, (fruit of the vine, when.......) 

Poem Details | by Rita A. Simmonds |
Categories: art, cry, funny, purple, sun, wine,

Deep Purple Days

Deep purple days
the sun will rise
and squeeze like grapes
my bloodshot eyes
that cry red wine
to line my face.
A brighter day
draws Chardonnay. 

January 28, 2019
for Purple2 Cash Prize Poetry Contest

Poem Details | by Jimmi Canada |
Categories: cousin, culture, earth, emotions, family, fire, giggle, hyperbole, international, introspection, love, magic, simple, slam, thank you, today, voice, weather, wine,


Metti blic,

over-top soars of the harmonica,

the ancient way takes thee and smoke...

With soliloquies we join the mast-

sanctify the allegory,

sustain some good~ing!

Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: food, funny

The Wine Taster

A little taste of wine so many kinds
One that taste like rotten grapes, apples, brines
Some so strong spit_rinse
Need to get rid of that quince
Worst one reminded me of shoe shines

Written:June 22, 2011
Day after longest day of year
Contest:"Bottle of Wine, (fruit of the vine, when..)"
Sponsor:Francine Roberts

Poem Details | by Ironic Zink |
Categories: analogy, giggle,

Cheese and Wine

And uncles' too

They get under my goat. 
Skin crawling little lactose tolerant yokes. 
"Holy guacamole, pass the cheese."
Says Uncle Whine O.

Hold the phones stop the press I gotta go. 
Look at me 
Look at me 

Ant Hen says to Uncle Fren

Here buddy let me hold that for ya while I soak ants with my pee. 
Gossiping about me creating mountains that are more closely related to as hills. 
That lazy bum can't even pay his own bills. 
He lies, cheats, and steals. 

Truth be told I hate ants like for reals.  


Poem Details | by Larry Belt |
Categories: funny

Blackberry Wine

Well, if this contest is like your past
You'd better run to the liquor store fast
You may be standing in line
To get your blackberry wine
And find out they've just sold the last

06/20/11    For Francine's Wine contest

Poem Details | by Osayande Osaghae |
Categories: funny, people


The man most prone to tears
is one who's drunk some beers

the man most prone to sigh
is one who's drunk some rye

the man most prone to pee
is one given to whisky

the one most prone to mourn
is one whose tea's laced with bourbon

but the man who believes all he's seen
is one who's soaked to the bones with gin!

Poem Details | by William Woods |
Categories: car, conflict, drink, funny, society, symbolism, wine,

Rednecks and Roundabouts

Rednecks and roundabouts, they don't mix.
Don't try and fool us with your media tricks.
We drive around the back roads throwing bottles at signs.
Your roundabouts make us slow down or the ladies spill their wine