Humorous and funny Wine poems and/or funny poems about Wine. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Wine funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Wine Poems.
No one wants to be left on the shelf for years
Guess you could say I’ve popped my cork
Now I’m fully mature with a rich full body
I could be described as a little fruity with a hint of spice
Please don’t keep me bottled up
Just give me time to breathe
Contest :- A wine Connoisseur
Sponsor: Chase Trevi
bird, humor, insect, love, men, poetry, wine,
In the debate between accessible and difficult poems
Poets' poems and poems for people
Only the single poem and private reader matter
Both kinds and anything between can matter or not
Solid or made of air, a vase or heavy clay ashtray
One word repeated or many like a lei
An acquired taste, like wine, and like wine
Not sustenance, yet men die with their miseries
Uncut without it, news and mere matter
I advise everyone to keep a personal anthology of poems that matter
Or not. Perhaps it should be novels. Stones, insect wings,
Feathers, Birds you've seen, People loved.
funny, health, life, hair,
My hair has receded and my belly grown fat
There’s hair growing in my ears and I don’t like that
My joints ache all the day and I have troubles with peeing
I’m tired all the time and have glasses for seeing
Gravity has taken over putting life in a downward spin
No wonder I enjoy drinking a little wine and gin
Mom used to drink this wine for a tonic,
I had no idea she meant a colonic.
So I snuck some of this swill,
moved more than an EX LAX pill
cause the gas sounds were quite polyphonic!
Written 6/22/2011 for the ‘Bottle of Wine” contest
hija de la luna
bereavement, death, family, funeral, humor,
They hate his drinking -
But they put his ashes in …
A wine bottle urn.
angst, funny, life
Time to curl up with a bottle of wine,
I’m not going to share, this bottle is mine;
If you want a drink,
There’s more by the sink;
And I don’t want to hear anyone whine!
~For the Bottle of wine, (fruit of the vine, when.......) Contest~
beautiful, beauty, creation, drink, fruit, humor, humorous, wine,
So pretty it is so sweet
Fruit of history
So pretty it is so sweet
Taste of memory
So pretty it is so sweet
Drink from grape it wines
drink, hero, humorous, image, magic, men, wine,
Often some ale
makes a man male.
Just That Archaic Poet
drink, humor, wine,
Starkle, starkle, little twink,
"Who the hell are you?" I think.
I'm not under what you'd call
The alcofluence of incohol.
I'm just a little slort of sheep,
I'm not drunk like thinkle peep.
It's true: I don't know quite who is me yet,
(The drunker I stand here the longer I get!)
So give me one more fink to drill my cup,
'Cause I got all day sober to Sunday up.
*Inspired by "Spoonerisms"
My wife loves to cook with wine
when friends come around to dine.
sometimes when she’s in the mood
puts some in the food.
© Harry J Horsman 2011
Sidney Hall Mad Poet
I... don’t mean to waste your time,
But... boy dose me wife bloody whine.
Do this, do that,
The miserable old bat
I found peace when I pickled her in brine
drink, holiday, humorous, new year, sad, stress, wine,
2020 drove me to disappear,
2021 is almost here.
Off for drinks and zen, all I can say is hooray and amen.
3 Place Christmas Chastushka - Rules Revised Contest Judged:12/24/2020
Sponsored by: Andrea Dietrich
Charging nine twenty-five for a glass
Of merlot in this joint? Thanks, I'll pass.
I like Walmart's low rate.
At just two eighty-eight,
I can drink the whole bottle. What class!
I don't have to own futures and stocks
Or hang out with some overpaid jocks.
'Cuz I've often opined
That the best wine you'll find
Can be poured from a spout on a box.
Written June 17th for Francine Roberts' Bottle of Wine, (fruit of the vine, when.......)
drink, funny, gospel, humorous, nonsense, wine,
There was a dear Vicar of Bray,
Fell out of his pulpit one day.
Jumping up, said I’m fine,
Too much Communion wine,
That inebriated Vicar of Bray.
character, food, funny, nonsense, silly, wine, word play,
The Man from the Wirral
A gluttonous old man from the Wirral,
Was partial to eating cold Squirrel.
He thought of the flavour divine,
Washed down with vintage Oak Wine.
Such a greedy old man of the Wirral
A little taste of wine so many kinds
One that taste like rotten grapes, apples, brines
Some so strong spit_rinse
Need to get rid of that quince
Worst one reminded me of shoe shines
Written:June 22, 2011
Day after longest day of year
Contest:"Bottle of Wine, (fruit of the vine, when..)"
art, beautiful, humorous, introspection, ireland, wine, women,
Poetry is the fashion
The pope, the last bastion
Out with the old
In with the aborted
Crowds gather in anticipation
Poet Arthur recites To Patrick's Nation
England you see
Believes in the Orange and the free
They shout and they cheer
His fans are waiting for whiskey dear
Redheads filled with dragon tempers
A delight to Arthur's Kingdom of pleasure
Buried among the Scottish thistle
One day yee shall find the orange rose
that tickles ones fancy
Well, if this contest is like your past
You'd better run to the liquor store fast
You may be standing in line
To get your blackberry wine
And find out they've just sold the last
06/20/11 For Francine's Wine contest
And uncles' too
They get under my goat.
Skin crawling little lactose tolerant yokes.
"Holy guacamole, pass the cheese."
Says Uncle Whine O.
Hold the phones stop the press I gotta go.
Look at me
Look at me
Ant Hen says to Uncle Fren
Here buddy let me hold that for ya while I soak ants with my pee.
Gossiping about me creating mountains that are more closely related to as hills.
That lazy bum can't even pay his own bills.
He lies, cheats, and steals.
Truth be told I hate ants like for reals.
The man most prone to tears
is one who's drunk some beers
the man most prone to sigh
is one who's drunk some rye
the man most prone to pee
is one given to whisky
the one most prone to mourn
is one whose tea's laced with bourbon
but the man who believes all he's seen
is one who's soaked to the bones with gin!
fun, humor, humorous, poems, poets,
A glass of wine works every time
First glass of wine, just give it time
Second glass of wine, everything is fine
Third glass of wine, everything is starting to rhyme
Fourth glass of wine , I can't think of another line
Fifth glass of wine, I don't care if I'm not a poet
I am awesome and I know it ;-)
cousin, culture, earth, emotions, family, fire, giggle, hyperbole, international, introspection, love, magic, simple, slam, thank you, today, voice, weather, wine,
over-top soars of the harmonica,
the ancient way takes thee and smoke...
With soliloquies we join the mast-
sanctify the allegory,
sustain some good~ing!
addiction, anxiety, good night, growing up, humor, student, wine,
I hit a wall
I think I know you
Your just another trap
You make me mad
Stop shutting me out
I see you again
Your so much friendlier than your flat friend
Lean on me
I will hold you up
A rattta tat tat
You call me a cab
Its hard to leave you
I will be back
art, cry, funny, purple, sun, wine,
Deep purple days
the sun will rise
and squeeze like grapes
my bloodshot eyes
that cry red wine
to line my face.
A brighter day
January 28, 2019
for Purple2 Cash Prize Poetry Contest
car, conflict, drink, funny, society, symbolism, wine,
Rednecks and roundabouts, they don't mix.
Don't try and fool us with your media tricks.
We drive around the back roads throwing bottles at signs.
Your roundabouts make us slow down or the ladies spill their wine