Humorous and funny Wine poems and/or funny poems about Wine. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Wine funny poems!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
humorous, life,
Wine Connoisseur - For Contest
No one wants to be left on the shelf for years
Guess you could say I’ve popped my cork
Now I’m fully mature with a rich full body
I could be described as a little fruity with a hint of spice
Please don’t keep me bottled up
Just give me time to breathe
Contest :- A wine Connoisseur
Sponsor: Chase Trevi
08~14~15
Written by
Mark Goodson
Categories:
funny, health, life, hair,
The Wisdom of Wine and Gin
My hair has receded and my belly grown fat
There’s hair growing in my ears and I don’t like that
My joints ache all the day and I have troubles with peeing
I’m tired all the time and have glasses for seeing
Gravity has taken over putting life in a downward spin
No wonder I enjoy drinking a little wine and gin
Written by
Hija De La Luna
Categories:
bereavement, death, family, funeral, humor,
In a Wine Bottle
They hate his drinking -
But they put his ashes in …
A wine bottle urn.
7/21/14
Written by
John Trusty
Categories:
funny, satire
Whine On Mogen David Wine
Mom used to drink this wine for a tonic,
I had no idea she meant a colonic.
So I snuck some of this swill,
moved more than an EX LAX pill
cause the gas sounds were quite polyphonic!
Written 6/22/2011 for the ‘Bottle of Wine” contest
Written by
Tirzah Conway
Categories:
angst, funny, life
My Wine
Time to curl up with a bottle of wine,
I’m not going to share, this bottle is mine;
If you want a drink,
There’s more by the sink;
And I don’t want to hear anyone whine!
~For the Bottle of wine, (fruit of the vine, when.......) Contest~
6/20/11
Written by
Reynaldo Mast
Categories:
beautiful, beauty, creation, drink, fruit, humor
Grape Wine Drink
Glittering Purple
So pretty it is so sweet
Fruit of history
Glittering Purple
So pretty it is so sweet
Taste of memory
Glittering Purple
So pretty it is so sweet
Drink from grape it wines
Written by
Just That Archaic Poet
Categories:
drink, humor, wine,
Inder the Unfluence
Starkle, starkle, little twink,
"Who the hell are you?" I think.
I'm not under what you'd call
The alcofluence of incohol.
I'm just a little slort of sheep,
I'm not drunk like thinkle peep.
It's true: I don't know quite who is me yet,
(The drunker I stand here the longer I get!)
So give me one more fink to drill my cup,
'Cause I got all day sober to Sunday up.
*Inspired by "Spoonerisms"
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
art, beautiful, humorous, introspection, ireland, wine
Vaso Visits Ireland
Poetry is the fashion
The pope, the last bastion
Out with the old
In with the aborted
Crowds gather in anticipation
Poet Arthur recites To Patrick's Nation
England you see
Believes in the Orange and the free
They shout and they cheer
His fans are waiting for whiskey dear
Redheads filled with dragon tempers
A delight to Arthur's Kingdom of pleasure
Buried among the Scottish thistle
One day yee shall find the orange rose
that tickles ones fancy
Written by
Harry Horsman
Categories:
funny,
Harry-Elaine Cooking With Wine
My wife loves to cook with wine
when friends come around to dine.
sometimes when she’s in the mood
puts some in the food.
© Harry J Horsman 2011
Written by
Sidney Hall Mad Poet
Categories:
funny
Wine Haha
I... don’t mean to waste your time,
But... boy dose me wife bloody whine.
Do this, do that,
The miserable old bat
I found peace when I pickled her in brine
Written by
Tracey Pollack
Categories:
fun, humor, humorous, poems, poets,
A Glass of Wine
A glass of wine works every time
First glass of wine, just give it time
Second glass of wine, everything is fine
Third glass of wine, everything is starting to rhyme
Fourth glass of wine , I can't think of another line
Fifth glass of wine, I don't care if I'm not a poet
I am awesome and I know it ;-)
Written by
Kevin Shaw
Categories:
drink, funny, gospel, humorous, nonsense, wine
Vicar of Bray
There was a dear Vicar of Bray,
Fell out of his pulpit one day.
Jumping up, said I’m fine,
Too much Communion wine,
That inebriated Vicar of Bray.
Written by
Jason Talbott
Categories:
funny
Cheap Wine
Charging nine twenty-five for a glass
Of merlot in this joint? Thanks, I'll pass.
I like Walmart's low rate.
At just two eighty-eight,
I can drink the whole bottle. What class!
I don't have to own futures and stocks
Or hang out with some overpaid jocks.
'Cuz I've often opined
That the best wine you'll find
Can be poured from a spout on a box.
Written June 17th for Francine Roberts' Bottle of Wine, (fruit of the vine, when.......)
contest
Written by
Kevin Shaw
Categories:
character, food, funny, nonsense, silly, wine
The Man From the Wirral
The Man from the Wirral
A gluttonous old man from the Wirral,
Was partial to eating cold Squirrel.
He thought of the flavour divine,
Washed down with vintage Oak Wine.
Such a greedy old man of the Wirral
Written by
Rita A. Simmonds
Categories:
art, cry, funny, purple, sun, wine
Deep Purple Days
Deep purple days
the sun will rise
and squeeze like grapes
my bloodshot eyes
that cry red wine
to line my face.
A brighter day
draws Chardonnay.
January 28, 2019
for Purple2 Cash Prize Poetry Contest
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
food, funny
The Wine Taster
A little taste of wine so many kinds
One that taste like rotten grapes, apples, brines
Some so strong spit_rinse
Need to get rid of that quince
Worst one reminded me of shoe shines
Written:June 22, 2011
Day after longest day of year
Contest:"Bottle of Wine, (fruit of the vine, when..)"
Sponsor:Francine Roberts
Written by
Ironic Zink
Categories:
analogy, giggle,
Cheese and Wine
Ants
And uncles' too
They get under my goat.
Skin crawling little lactose tolerant yokes.
"Holy guacamole, pass the cheese."
Says Uncle Whine O.
Hold the phones stop the press I gotta go.
Look at me
Look at me
Ant Hen says to Uncle Fren
Here buddy let me hold that for ya while I soak ants with my pee.
Gossiping about me creating mountains that are more closely related to as hills.
That lazy bum can't even pay his own bills.
He lies, cheats, and steals.
Truth be told I hate ants like for reals.
8/14/16
Written by
Osayande Osaghae
Categories:
funny, people
Wine-Spiration
The man most prone to tears
is one who's drunk some beers
the man most prone to sigh
is one who's drunk some rye
the man most prone to pee
is one given to whisky
the one most prone to mourn
is one whose tea's laced with bourbon
but the man who believes all he's seen
is one who's soaked to the bones with gin!
Written by
Larry Belt
Categories:
funny
Blackberry Wine
Well, if this contest is like your past
You'd better run to the liquor store fast
You may be standing in line
To get your blackberry wine
And find out they've just sold the last
06/20/11 For Francine's Wine contest
Written by
Dean Walker
Categories:
adventure, funny, introspection, life, loss, love
Wine, Women, and Song
Wine, women and song-
delirious impressions
both over- and understated.
Nonsense to the uninitiated.
This is how my daydream began:
gyrating on stage with long hair
like and adolescent shaman-
visions of a young Jim Morrison.
Wine, women and song-
punk, funk, southern boogie drunk
battle ax guitars, pounding drums
blacken and brutal beer soaked bars.
This is the dream come true:
an insidious reality
that suddenly struck rude.
Nonsense to the uninitiated.
Now, it is still the wine
women and song that I long for.
Indelible impressions
both over-and understated.
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
drink, fun, humorous, people, wine,
A Feast Table
Any bean-feast table
proves to be unstable.
Volodymyr Knyr
2017
Written by
Natasha L Scragg
Categories:
humor,
Dine After Wine
The day began as normal - breakfast time.
I staggered to the café ready to dine.
And yet, what did I see?
Two giraffes drinking tea!
I knew it! Last night I drank too much wine.
(picture prompt, two giraffes drinking tea
through the window)
Written by
James Edward Lee Sr.
Categories:
adventure, animal, beauty, bird, drink, funny
Doves and Ducks Drinking Wine- -
DOVES AND DUCKS DRINKING WINE- -
evening waterfall
a fresh, lemonade wallows
betrayed by the doves
evening waterfall
a made, lemonade wallows
because of the doves
gaping ducks drink up
spitting out cause no sugar
betrayed by the doves
4/3/19
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2019©
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
dance, humorous, money, song, wine, women
- Money, money - DoDo -
the poor man's bank account blocked
begging for financial aid
short of cash, tra la la - la
women, wine and song
Written by
Augustus Black
Categories:
children, dad, drink, funny, wine,
Huckleberry's Dad
pap comes on whisky;
whenever he falls down, says
wildly, "Who pushed me?"
____________________
This is taken from my own new fiction book "The New Adventures of Tom Sawyer." Read this book it's available on Amazon.