Humorous and funny Women poems and/or funny poems about Women. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Women funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Women Poems.
august, beach, beautiful, cool, crush, deep, destiny, devotion, fantasy, feelings, first love, fishing, freedom, funny love, future, girlfriend, hope, i love you, i miss you, journey, joy, judgement, lost love, love, love hurts, meaningful, miracle, ocean, people, places, romance, sea, sensual, simple, spiritual, water, women, world,
Don't rush to wash off the sea salt
drying on your skin;
the hopes it carries from other oceans,
those remain yet to be seen.
Jerry T Curtis
funny, humor, humorous, men, pride, princess, women,
FOR MEN ONLY #2Contest
Yee Haaaa--- a Contest made for me
I'm a man and should write free
With no woman to tell me what
To bend my ear and bust my nut
To nag at me, noon and night
For me to get this poem right
To correct the words that I can't spell
In this grammatical living hell
"Change that word and it won't mean that
Don't say pussy when you mean cat"
But now this contest has set me free
So, I can write more liberally
And pen this in my own rendition
That's of course dear, with your permission
day, week, month,
year, decade, century ..
and women buying clothes
humorous, imagery, men, relationship, women,
Chivalry is not dead...
Chivalry is not dead...just in a coma, on life support,
waiting for a woman to come along with the defibrillator!
John Derek Hamilton
car, funny, humorous, women,
Instead of being a chick magnet, my vehicle is a curse.
No woman will go out with me because I own a hearse.
I bought my hearse because it runs great and it was dirt cheap.
But when women see it, they slap my face and call me a creep.
I finally got a date with the woman of my dreams.
But when she saw my hearse, she ran and screamed.
Women don't want to make out where corpses have been.
Because of my vehicle, they won't date me, they find other men.
If you already have a bad love life, making my mistake will only make it worse.
Women will not date a man if he drives a hearse.
(I got the idea for this poem from a TV show that I saw.)
analogy, humor, women, word play,
Now when it comes to shopping for bras
There are three kinds to "support" the cause
For all of those well endowed lasses
"Catholic" bras support the masses
When the most mature women come callin'
"Salvation Army" bras lift the fallen
And whether it's needed or just for thrills
"Baptist" bras make, mountains out of mole hills!
age, angel, beautiful, beauty, body, boyfriend, celebration, celebrity, change, character, creation, desire, emotions, children, friendship, girl, girlfriend, hero, humorous, i love you, image, life, memorial day, memory, middle school, relationship, romantic, school, society, student, teen, teenage, truth, wisdom, woman, women, words, world, youth,
Fake Words – Zamreen Zarook
God have given us mouth,
Not to speak to north and south,
Tongue is given under an oath,
So it’s our duty to protect them both.
Girls chat fake with boys,
Having a notion that the boys are toys,
They often make varied noise,
Thinking to keep a trap on handsome guys.
Boys are also human being,
So it’s not possible being clean,
Things varies in the way they are seen,
So positive thinking will make you keen.
Boys’ minds are pure,
As it is pure bio,
So don’t try to pour vino,
Which will take decades to get cure.
funny, gender, women,
Never treat a woman
like an object.
appreciation, fashion, funny, humor, humorous, imagery, women,
I'm a bit confused when it comes to shoes and see a big toe that's been bruised
or the second toe is longer and trying to conquer the big toes space with an embrace
If you have this problem don't wear open toe shoes they do not amuse
but only gives us a clue you may need a canoe or a pair of tennis shoes
Why wear shoes that are four feet tall and look like a ski slope
and you walk like your on a tightrope afraid you will fall and have to crawl
If you have a toe problem don't be embarrassed a little buckle on your shoe top
will get a cute chuckle and you won't have to wear boots in that nice pants suite
T Reams 2/11/2015
body, humorous, people, relationship, sexy, woman, women,
The thorougher the skin peel,
the stronger the sex apeal.
addiction, april, best friend, computer, confusion, courage, culture, cute love, earth, emotions, encouraging, environment, fantasy, farm, feelings, funny love, garden, happiness, happy, i love you, i miss you, inspirational, internet, irony, july, june, kiss, loneliness, love, magic, me, metaphor, nature, parody, repetition, satire, science, social, technology, tree, women, world, youth,
follow on facebook,
adore on pinterest,
fall in love on instagram,
kiss on a hunch,
all under a tree.
The trouble with women drivers
with all of their if’s, ands, and butts
is that when they are driving for distance
they lose all their delicate touch
thinking the faster they get there
will cause all the others to blush
but no one cares how well they drive
as long as they make their putts.
John G. Lawless
funny, marriage, men, psychological, relationship, trust, women,
Before the "I do" she must choose
A man that does well in dance shoes
His psyche gives a clue
When employing step two
Ply him to the limit with booze
humor, love, romance, wisdom, women, youth,
Like lavender and lovely red roses,
they’re meant for your immaculate sweethearts
and their fine, little, delicate noses;
not to damage the most sensitive parts,
or overwhelm the olfactory senses;
bedaub with the finesse of the fine arts,
as love’s a game of great consequences.
Mates decide on the mere whiff of a scent,
so smell good or lead to major offenses!
Too much strong scent is wholly unpleasant;
a little hint on the neck and the wrist
is enough to smell attractively fragrant;
so don’t offend like punching me with fists:
if you heed these lines you will get the gist.
absence, age, angel, april, baptism, beautiful, beauty, bible, birth, blue, boat, body, books, boyfriend, bridal shower, flower, for her, forgiveness, freedom, funny, games, garden, girlfriend, goodbye, graduation, poetry, voice, wisdom, women, words, writing, youth,
You send bolts through my skin
something I was never to
accomplish with you, when I
saw you it's like my heart sank
to my stomach and I was in
shock my body still my body
heavy felt like when I moved I
was about to fall to my knees
you make me want to get
inside my brain pick you up and
take you out pick you one by
one like a flower because I do
love you and love you not.
funny, life, philosophy, women, women,
I have heard: Women burn fat almost 10% slower than men
It's does not feel justified
I have heard: Women live on average 3 years longer than men
Women have a better durability date (used before: .. - ... - .....)
Men: (must be used within: .. - .. - ....)
Why is it only women who are thinking about calories and diets
I bake delicious cakes .... that can only be eaten by my husband
..... I think I'll try one more piece :)
A-L Andresen :)
change, fantasy, fun, funny, muse, silly,
If women ruled the world
I'd have a sex change and be a girl
If you can't beat em
Peter Dome. Copyright.2015.May.
Oh how I long for the menopause and end this monthly curse
I was hoping things would improve, but now it’s getting worse
I turn into a chocolate craving fiend at all hours of day or night
If someone raided my emergency supply it could end in a fight
My skin can take a bashing and I end up with a spotty chin
Stomach inflates like a huge balloon, but in reality I am thin
Can’t wait for those hot flushes; it could reduce our heating bill
I could ditch my trusty thermal vest for I won’t feel the chill!!!
Tongue in cheek write
26th October 2016
desire, funny love, humorous, image, lust, women,
Some say my cousin got around
passing on his bloodline
young and wild with a strong esteem
no matter who it was
Shame his bloodline has family ties
one was his sister Jean
his Pop's found out, boy what a scene
now I know why he's blind
T Reams 3/26/2015 contest sponsored by: Nette Onclaud
'Let Me Feel Your Lines #6 bloodline
angst, art, beautiful, beauty, boyfriend, butterfly, caregiving, childhood, computer-internet, confusion, courage, cowboy-western, dance, dark, daughter, dedication, depression, devotion, dream, funny, girl, girlfriend, goodbye, growing up, happiness, humorous, inspirational, lost, lost love, nostalgia, peace, romance, romantic, sad, song, teen, time, uplifting, women, me, love, me,
Your love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and i'm
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried
by the dove of someone I use to know.
for her, for him, funny,
If you see
a man opens
the car door
for a woman ....
He certainly has
a brand new car ...
or a very young
and beautiful mistress
His pride ...
a conquest ...
the gleaming varnish
reminds him of
sensual red woman lips
in his eyes -
you will always
be his number two
A-L Andresen :))
beauty, care, humorous, truth,
Small or large breasts is something one is born with
It is easy to become blinded by the glamorous fashion
The quest for the perfect body
It's all about illusion
Focus on what is good for your body
New breasts can cost you dearly
No one need operations,
be grateful for the breasts you have
Most of the breasts hanging down ...
sooner or later
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
age, change, humorous, women,
The menopause has hit me,
My oestrogen is going,
I'm very hot and sweaty,
My face all red and glowing.
My mood is unpredictable,
I scream and then I shout,
My waistbands getting tighter,
I'm fatter without a doubt.
My hair is getting thinner
On the top of my head,
But it's sprouting out of my chin
And upper lip instead.
My mind gets confused,
I'm forgetful, make mistakes,
Everywhere is itchy,
I just want to take a break.
So I'm off to see the doctor
To get some HRT,
Can't deal with all the symptoms
Of this menopause misery!
beauty, desire, humor, mythology, sensual, sexy, women,
Hot raptor breath
Push goosebumps to life
On the golden-honey flesh
Of a most desired sight.
Deeply tanned and rubenesque,
Unsheathed, scented shoulders.
Arms that distill without cause to beckon
The wills of the penile-brained knights.
Wallow in her moist pink flower.
Defend with your armor that nymphet tower.
But beware, Dear Sir, should your eye slip up
Two orbs of Venus power.
betrayal, bible, character, conflict, easter, faith, farewell, giggle, history, paradise, people, power, psychological, religious, sorry, storm, travel, tribute, trust, women,
Taking sides in discussions holily
About whether Uran used his willy
Means you're trapped in their game -
Either side is the same:
**** distracts, cash departs, crowd stays silly.
The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand interprets important Slovenian affairs for the non-Slovene speaking world.