Humorous and funny Working poems and/or funny poems about Working. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Working funny poems!
Written by
William Robinson
Categories:
children, funny, on work and working,
In the Gravy
The sea was unusually wavy,
When a cook in the Royal Navy,
With a roll of the ship,
Accidentally slipped,
Inundating his captain with gravy.
Written by
Ahellas Alixopulos
Categories:
allegory, funny, on work and working, parody, work,
Farming As a Terrorist Act
Going on down to the demos today
the last farmer has been put away.
They shot him down
just outside of town.
Police found him in his own cornfield,
where he resisted and refused to yield.
Since his were crimes against the state,
then death obviously was to be his fate.
Going on down to the demos today
the last farmer has been put away.
He refused to buy corn from the corporation,
produced his own seeds for his liberation.
He refused to buy genetic sprays
to eliminate the bugs and the butterflys.
By his wanton self pollination
he threatened the food supply of our nation.
We're going on down to the demos today
to give thanks to those who put terrorists away.
Written by
Randy Johnson
Categories:
angst, funny, on work and working, me, me,
A 94 Year Old Woman Kicked My ###
(This is a fictional poem)
A 94 year old woman kicked my ###.
She beat the crap out of me and left me bleeding on the grass.
Every time I got up, she knocked me down again.
She beat me really hard and I sure as hell didn't win.
The fight started when she asked me to put out my cigar.
I told her that I'd shove it up her vagina and I guess I went too far.
When she got through beating me, I had lost most of my teeth.
Now people laugh at me and all I feel is grief.
Written by
Laura Meese
Categories:
confusion, funny, imagination, on work and working, teen,
The Elimination Method
Simple Mathematics, really.
To eliminate one component
To solve a problem quickly.
I’ll form the problem into a manageable state,
By easily eliminating an unwanted variable.
Now, just what variable to eliminate?
First, I will multiply the X by two.
That’s the first step. Done, I feel fine.
I will multiply the Y too.
Now, I add my X plus X.
My Y plus Y.
That was to make sure it checks.
Now here’s the predicament (easy my shoe!)
This is my problem,
And a real head-scratcher too!
The equation adds up nicely
And the X and Y are simplified.
But, how do I eliminate my algebra homework
Precisely?
Written by
Brandee Augustus
Categories:
funny, introspection, life, on work and working, philosophy
Aries
There once was a proud Aries like me,
whose impatience kept from being free.
But all my pride inside
never had the chance to hide
the goal of winning confidently!
Written by
William Robinson
Categories:
animals, funny, on work and working, people,
Silly Goose
A novice goose farmer named Sanders,
Once wrote for advice from Ann Landers.
He'd encountered a block
To increasing his flock:
He didn't know gooses from ganders.
Written by
William Robinson
Categories:
animals, children, funny, on work and working,
Careful, Doctor!
A lady named Abigail Feanture
Received from her colleagues a censure.
She, being a vet,
Accidentally let
A mischievous Doberman Pincer.
Written by
Brittany Reynolds
Categories:
funny, natural disasters, nature, on work and working,
Stereotype Enforced By a Storm
While I appreciate the vacation
it would have been better if it were paid.
Funds lessened by nature’s aggravation,
lends credence to the starved artist charade.
Written by
Jslambert Mister Roboto
Categories:
art, funny, happiness, inspirational, life, on work and working
Changed My Underwear,------- and My Name
I
change my name
like
underwear...
fairly often, I suppose
I
change my clothes
like
area codes
and Imma' damn gypsy, ya' see
I
keep it fresh ta' death
nada
speck of blood
or
ketchup on my attire
I
got more rhymes
than I got grey hairs
and
that's an effing lot
because i got my share
I
digg a
hot-fire piece of passionate verse
those are
indeed
rare to find
YET...
if only poets would
unleash the fury
instead of
holding back
what's really
on their mind...
I must say...
the library,
the internet,
the etc. etc...
would be a less stinky place...
AND, maybe
I'd keep my name, and sever ties with
underwear's elastic,
and just go
APE-Spit Spastic!~
Written by
Sara Kendrick
Categories:
funny, introspection, life, love, mother, on work and working
Her Voice Say
.
When tired from sweeping with the storebought broom
I'd lean against not wanting to resume
Momma said, "Nusing your bab?"
I would sweep, under breath crab
Now would love to hear her say, "Clean your room!"
(Momma would say nusing not nursing..Bab is instead of baby..)
Written by
Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
funny, on work and working,
Blockheads
"At a Place Called Mr. Quick's"
Serving burgers called “Quickies” I spent
time at work as a teen, and no gent
would I too often see!
Many blockheads asked me
for a quickie (a burger not meant)!
For P.D's BLOCK~ BLOCK~ BLOCK Poetry Contest
Written by
David Savage
Categories:
funny, on work and working, time, uplifting, work
Odd Coffee Date
All was going well until she asked for a drink
Then my stomach started to sink
She ask “do you have coffee?”
“no it’s OCD”
Stood up, turned 80 degrees
Counted my steps, ones and threes
Get the scales and measure the grains
In nerves, must not make any stains
Add the milk, not too much
Now the sugar, just a light touch
Click the kettle, watch my watch
If she was Irish, I could always add scotch
Click! Pour the water
63 mm size always matters
A quick stir, a wee bit slower
Too high make it lower
Turn clockwise, go for the door
Marching like in the marine corps
There she is lying in a heap
I was hours, she’s fast asleep
Written by
Ovidiu Bocsa
Categories:
beautiful, caregiving, funny, hope, humorous, on work and working
My Only Good Poetry
While preparing 1001 soups
For the last night of this year
I wrote a poem,
My only good poetry, ready to win the 1st Prize;
But I dropped it in…Soup.
Written by
Romeo Naces
Categories:
funny, happiness, on work and working, farm,
Chiropractor's Tractor
I get paid driving a farm tractor
with sideline job as chiropractor;
I massage, soothe muscular pains,
move circulation through your veins;
though never trained in orthopedics,
I've got some real skills like the medics;
strained tendons or twisted ligaments,
come, just suit yourselves, my compliments;
I rub and press, and even squeeze
your bodies, limbs, extremities;
be yours the size of whales or eels,
your aches, your ills this masseur heals;
the contours of your anatomy
are easy topographies for me;
I've learned skills of a land surveyor
from years of driving a farm tractor.
Written by
Cathy Ncube
Categories:
computer-internet, fantasy, funny, imagination, on work and working, people
Hard-Drive Data of Congress
all congressmen asked
the forensics team to view
their hard-drive data
Written by
James Ray Morris
Categories:
funny, happiness, life, on work and working, people, places
A Day At the Flea Market
Dealers arriving
Merchandise appearing.
Bargain hunters searching
Treasures departing.
Dealers exiting
with pockets a-jingling.
Written by
William Robinson
Categories:
animals, children, funny, on work and working,
A Corny Limerick
A farmer owned a farm in Iowa.
In vain, he toiled and labored every day.
He'd pick his corn and shuck it,
And pour it into buckets;
Then crows would steal the corn and fly away.
Written by
Ernesto P. Santiago
Categories:
funny, life, love, on work and working, people, social
Romeo the Great Lover
I’m really amazed by
Romeo the great lover
who boasted his greatness
of loving my friend Tess.
Oh, Gee! How hard it is
for him to display his trademark
of love, for her
in the presence of his wife.
Written by
William Robinson
Categories:
food, children, funny, on work and working, people,
Bread of Kindness
Baker Bob brought breakfast biscuits
To big, bad Bennie Barker's bed.
Bob believes, sadly, that Ben behaves badly
Because Barbara Barker rarely bakes bread.
Written by
William Robinson
Categories:
animals, children, funny, on work and working, people, friend
Posh Pigs
I have a friend named Archibald Green--
Strangest pig farmer I've ever seen.
Now, this weird friend of mine
Always transports his swine
In the back of his stretch limousine.
Written by
Jeff Eklund
Categories:
funny, life, on work and working, travel,
Mark Twain Cover Up
In Hannibal Town
Tom Sawyer Conspiracy
Can you say White Wash?
Written by
Jason Talbott
Categories:
funny, on work and working, workfun,
Monday Sonnet
If your headache is bad,
It's about to get worser.
The fun that you had
Is just a precursor...
To the fun you won't have
Once it's time to clock in.
There's no balm and no salve
That can quiet the din...
That clangs in your head
Once the work week's begun.
But at least you ain't dead,
And the man hasn't won.
So shake your fist and stick it to 'em.
Mondays, we all have to go through 'em.
Written by
Tei Mickey
Categories:
funny, health, inspirational, life, on work and working, philosophy
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! I Loathe Sleepless Nights!!
Eyes itchy, open
Red and heavy. Limbs like weights.
Insommnia stinks...
Written by
John Fenn
Categories:
friendship, funny, on work and working
Brokeback Hillock
Two cowboys were out on the range
When one said “I feel rather strange”
Said the other “come here
If you feel a bit *****
And I’ll just see what I can arrange”
Written by
Annie Lander
Categories:
funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, on work and working,
One Minute Man
A bouquet of flowers,
Or the calm of the woods
I felt one eyed willy in my rib
In an instant you became the minute man
In my midwinter dream
I smile and then I kiss your neck
As you whisper, honey “I hope you’re not upset.
Darn! I am so ashamed of this one minute man.
Viagra is all I can say…..to you
I still love you. Happy Birthday