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Funny Poems

These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.

Poem Details | by Leffanta, Rico |
Categories: humor,

A Mohawk Moment

In India, Trump had a scare
The Coronavirus was there!
Not one to tempt fate
Trump cancelled a date
He had to look after his hair!


Poem Details | by Abbott, Donald |
Categories: giggle, humorous,

Peeping Lolita

A virile young lass and her beau
Sought to share their true love in a show
They covered their faces, and hid all the places
Where cameras would film status quo

Copyright ©2020 Donald E Abbott

Poem Details | by Abbott, Donald |
Categories: chocolate, farewell, goodbye, humor,

Kilroy's Revenge

A recalcitrant and lonely only old turde
Was released with nought but a word
A peristaltic action and a great big oooh!
Brought relief which was simply absurd
It travelled through pipes, with its ponging 
A meander of a tense fraught belonging
In search of elation, a final cessation
The deed was an insatiable longing
Hot curries with bacon and grease
Were ejected from derrieres and feast
A U-bend so wide, would offer a side
From within which all contents released

Copyright ©2020 Donald E Abbott



Poem Details | by Bunton, Christopher |
Categories: graduation, humor,

For The Graduate

For the Graduate

Your school days are done;
graduation has come.
It's time to rest.

Cause a job comes tomorrow;
to pay what you borrowed,
for all those debts.



For the Occasional Poetry Poetry contest.  2/24/2020


Poem Details | by Adams, PAT |
Categories: dad, daughter, funny, growing up, imagery, life,

Accidents Will Happen

Talking to his quite young daughter
Was sometimes like talking to a wall
To him the message seemed to be plain
But to her, just not the case at all!

So once again he sat her down
He said, "That look there, just won't do"
He said, "Accidents will happen,"
"Sometimes it will be number two!"

Those britches were no worse for wear
There's was no call to raise a fit
It could have happened to anyone,
But she still makes fun of him for it!

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

Professor Emeritus


Our aging professor emeritus
has an affectation that annoys us:
he stresses words that end with “èd” –
a mannerism, he claims, he learnèd
(if the story is to be believèd)
in his days when he matriculatèd
(or, as he puts it, “universitatèd”),
which one he’s never yet disclosèd.
His speech had so many disturbèd
he soon found himself untoleratèd
by many eager to have him brandèd 
an eccentric and which, as expectèd,
he laughèd it off as exaggeratèd.



Poem Details | by Trim, Nick |
Categories: humorous,

Become Who You Are

You have to lose to become who you are, 
I lose so much one day I'll go far, 
and if I don't, sod it I'll go to the bar

Poem Details | by Leffanta, Rico |
Categories: humor,

Kangaroo Court

Pursued by a kangaroo click
The girl jumped on her pogo stick
Flashing her tush
Out in the bush
It was over pretty damn quick!

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

First Martini


My first martini, as I recall –
albeit I was only eighteen –
tasted not so much like rubbing alcohol
more like kerosene.

A nonsmoker, fortunately,
I had no need to light or take a drag;
for I’d have blown myself up instantly
and not lived to brag.

Poem Details | by Jagenberg, Fred |
Categories: allusion, humorous, nursery rhyme,

Over Easy

Running away, Humpty fell on his head

King’s horses and men just left him for dead

Fractured at once, so he cannot be tried

Dropped over easy then scrambled or fried

Poem Details | by Rodrigues, Kim |
Categories: humorous,

I KNOW KARATE

“I know karate” his smile kicks 180 degree radius at his brother that’s what little brothers do A bit worried - grandma’s sock filled with marbles making a loopty-loop a pending privates joke 2/23/2020

Poem Details | by Spilchuk, Dennis |
Categories: humor, perspective, satire,

A Whimsical Trope

A Whimsical Trope 

Life is a circus
Of acrobats and clowns
Everywhere a scammer
Ready to take advantage.

Humpty Dumpty was clumsy
Rather dull and not very bright
Who never knew right-side up
Or downside wrong 
And so became a criminal.

Bring the cannon
And bring the handcuffs
Today we make the bust
And arrest Humpty Dumpty
And that’s no guff.

And so we laugh and cry
When he fell from high
Nevertheless whatever we think
Wherever the yegg
Humpty Dumpty is scrambled egg.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty laughed and fell
Everyone there offered prayers and things
But no-one could put him together again.

Poem Details | by POETRY, ALKAS |
Categories: absence, adventure, allegory, creation, funny, literature, metaphor,

EX COMBATANT



    I've done cruel war,
   I have already hunted in a fierce jungle,
   today ... I feed the pigeons corn ...

Poem Details | by Karmakar, Sanjay |
Categories: humorous,

I was the truth


To worship God Shiva linga hundreds of kilo-liters of milk being wasted
Imagine how many hundred of proletarian child could have been served with nutritious food in such quantities of milk
for some days.
Please hang me as a heretic
Such as Copernicus who was killed by the fanatic
But know that I was
the truth.

(Shivratri is one of the ritual of the Hindus. 
In this day lakhs of woman pour a lot of milk upon an idol called shivlinga in the temple)

Poem Details | by Mweetwa, Michelo |
Categories: betrayal, black love, break up, fun, funny, funny love, humor,

Knock knock knock

Knock, knock, knock!
A lover at the door
The other adjust his clothes
The handle turns their hearts

Knock, knock, knock!
An officer at the door
An eye on the peephole
The handle breaks apart

Knock, knock, knock!
A lawyer at the door
A lover in a gaol
The other with a get out of jail free card

Knock, knock, knock!
A mother at the door
The mother eyed the Judas whore
All her necklace and bracelets she took back

Poem Details | by Krutsinger, Caren |
Categories: fun, funny, humor, humorous,

That is Two Strikes He Says

Max is five and bossy beyond compare.
Stand there, he orders me. 
No. There!  Right there!
I am his grandma, so I comply.

He gets to be the batter as usual.
I am the pitcher and the outfield. No surprise.
Every time he misses one he growls at me.
And blames me.

Sometimes he throws the bat or screams at me.
Grandmas are not good at being coaches I guess.
“That is TWO strikes for you!” he yells at me.
“I cannot have strikes, I am the pitcher,” I tell him.
“Two X’s,” he says. “Two X’s for making me miss.”

I start laughing.
Forgetting that he gets mad when I do this.



Poem Details | by Stone, Rob |
Categories: funny, science,

Black Hole Sun

My plasma ring has so much class
My hot swirling edge is a gas
But the stuff I suck in
Goes to my rear end
And becomes all a singular mass


Poem Details | by Bush, Jean |
Categories: animal, cat, funny, giggle, how i feel, humor,

Catfucious 14

I want to play but you say "shoo!"
So I left something in your shoe.

           I thought everyone liked tootsie rolls.


Poem Details | by Laurie, Lindsay |
Categories: humor,

One Day I'll Get There

Hi ho! Hi ho! Off to the gym I go,
but a friend rang me wouldn’t you know.
Now I’m sorry to say,
I can’t make it today.
That makes it three thousand days in a row.

Poem Details | by Ellison, Jack |
Categories: humor,

Really Quite Corny



Peter Pumpkin Eater recently got squashed That was really quite corny, oh my gosh Got veggies on the brain From corn, I'll refrain D'ya hear bout the artichoke that developed a cough

Poem Details | by Stone, Rob |
Categories: funny, writing,

Clean burn

It is my delight to wright 
In the early morning light

When the coming day is on the edge
With coffee that can float an iron wedge

Sustenance and wonder meet
Words fall out in a steady beat

I rarely ever write in rhyme
But that can change at any time


Poem Details | by Sinha-Roy, Subimal |
Categories: humorous,

Prickly Me In A Pickle



At my friend’s house over dinner
I emptied a pickle jar
My fickle buds relished infinitum
The tickle of sweet and sour
Didn’t suspect had a base of rum.

Soon the full moon appeared sickle
From forehead sweat dripped in trickle
It was fruitless to stickle
For beyond doubt I was pickled
I found prickly me in a pickle.

February 21, 2020

Poem Details | by Ellison, Jack |
Categories: hilarious,

Sir Goofy Pants



'Tis to laugh as the old saying goes It turns my crank, it curls my toes A day without grins Is an absolute sin I'm Sir Goofy Pants, my parts I expose

Poem Details | by Dietrich, Andrea |
Categories: humor,

In a Pickle Am I



In a pickle am I. All is green.
It's like some kind of plant quarantine!

Yes, I feel like I’m hidden from view
and without a clue what I should do!

What a pickle I’m IN. It’s severe.
How the heck did I ever get here?

It’s not comfy to be in this pickle.
And now am I feeling a prickle?

I much would prefer to be tickled
than vinegar-smothered – so PICKLED.

Like a gherkin, it’s not even sweet
and a pickle I never would eat!

This is nasty – like some sour pill.
Oh, it’s bad. It’s a really BIG dill!

Feb. 20, 2020 for Nina Parmenter's Pickle Poetry Contest

Poem Details | by Thompson, Ronald D |
Categories: humorous, silly,

All things can tempt me

All things can tempt me from the verse I need to write:
Even the dishes can sway me from my plight.
The rain, it’s lashing hard upon the window pane.
It’s stopped - I’ll write. No! There it goes again.
Could it be I’m too tired? Could it be I’m bored?
Once again, I discover, I’m worryingly flawed! 
The suns too hot. Far too hot I do declare,
It’s doing absolutely nothing for my creative flair. 

The paper is still blank, the nothingness a clue,
Too many things tempt, just between me and you!! 

All things can tempt me- Poetry Contest
20th February 2020
Sponsor- Beth Evans


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