These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.
funny, giggle, humor, longing, poetry, summer, weather,
Craving Skinny dip
breezed to the stream on full moon
stripping emerged out
stream dry as rock, my wish died
check water before you strip.
funny, giggle, poetry, simple, society,
looking at a stone
I smile appreciating
earning title stoned.
Here’s a bit of humor so bizarre,
you’ll wonder if you heard it at a bar.
A dog bequeathed his kidneys to
his master, himself in need of two.
The operation, critical and delicate,
proved a success and surgically correct.
The only downside, and unpredictable,
has the dog nearly hysterical,
watching his master trying to piddle
with one leg lifted in a public urinal!
Said the judge: Lady, don’t you see
that driving nude puts police at great risk?
Maybe so, she said, but it saves me
the humiliation of a crude frisk.
beach, children, humor, simile,
ocean waves rush in
like rambunctious preschoolers
at morning recess
eager to entertain you
in goofy games of pretend
What's up with all these walking dead
Who stagger all around our bed?
Uninterested in beef stew,
They'd rather munch on me and you.
These lurching corpses swarm the land.
They feast on flesh with nothing planned.
They hunt the living, eat their brains.
They're undeterred by snow or rain.
These mindless zombies stumble on,
A decomposing marathon,
Two steps forward, one step back,
A pitiful, persistent pack.
"My dear, I fear you've grown unique...
Your eyeball's hanging on your cheek!"
Witch Hazel failed her flying test.
She crashed her broom.
The worst marks in the wicked west,
they sealed her doom.
Her magic was deniable.
Her spells were unreliable.
Too low, too fast, I would assume.
She crashed her broom.
But Hazel wanted to be best,
the brightest bloom.
With lots of practice, she progressed
and shed her gloom.
She took the test a second time,
but struggled as she tried to climb.
Police blamed alcohol consumed.
She crashed her broom.
Content I was to be a frog,
Devouring dusty dragonflies,
Exposing eyeballs by a log,
Floating 'neath sublime summer skies.
Now I'm a Prince alphabetized.
plump pumpkins panic
as Halloween moves toward
a sharp carving knife
birth, humor, muse, poems, poetry, poets,
death, emotions, fear, humor, life, loneliness, sun,
It was a height of 250 metres,
But I wasn’t afraid;
I looked down
And there wasn’t even my shade.
The sun was already jumping
But with a low speed,
“ I can perform better,
I am not going to give the lead.”
Took a deep breath
And I was in air,
And silence reached there.
The sun began moving upward,
Or I began moving downward,
I was flying,
But like a dead bird.
When from the ground,
I wasn’t really high,
Mind said,“ change in plan,
Let the sun first die”.
fantasy, giggle, halloween,
A crusty goblin cracked a crevassed grin
While chasing odd witches in a tailspin
He heisted her fat black cat
Whereupon her broom she sat
To kill all the rats in his crusty den
Doc, how you find our boss, inquired
office assistant anxiously;
I find him OK, though looks tired;
there is no abnormality.
But, boss this morning gave detailed
lecture how the office is messed;
Do not you feel, it has displayed
something abnormal, needs more rest.
Doc, think again before release;
it'd be so hard to bring him back
for more test; would it not be nice
to keep him under watch to track?
Surely his constant worry for
more work may increase blood pressure;
why not think to keep him few more
weeks, till we decide he's better.
Note: Humorous poems with no intention to hurt sentiments of any person. Just for fun.
fun, giggle, girl, memory, poetry,
Infinite sorrows non-existent
life chirped in oblivion
halcyon days of childhood
unplanned outcomes were a hit
full-on Masti from dawn to dusk
until a voice boom into ur giggles
"You're grounded 4 a week"
a tiny moment of heartbreak,
erased again in no time with
your favourite ice cream.
Five, not more or less
seven syllables in two
five again, rules are rules
My Phone is a Necessity
It speaks to you
And to me
character, dedication, hilarious, holiday, howl, identity, image,
On the short little drive up 17
was the smell of a land we'd quarantined
Where the place we went through wasn't quite as bad
as the hell of a town Espanola had
Where we rolled through the blessings
with our windows up
And the town called Mckerrow
made our faces shlupt
That we moaned for our senses
for the world to change
When the smell hit our window
in a smell quite strange
And we rolled through the town
going just as fast
As the smell that was slowing
all the hope gone passed
Facts don’t matter
Das mach dribble
All my scribble
age, fun, humorous,
I will waft through sunlit rooms
in fun-packed shoes
and sport a batwing like a pro.
I’ll be draped with chunky beads
My eyes will spark, my words will flow.
I’ll wear my glasses on a cord.
My hair, fresh-poured,
will breeze like my contented muse.
But I won’t have cats -
with their sneezy fur and toxic poos.
No I won’t have cats.
Meow. I refuse.
20 October 19
fantasy, fish, humor,
The fish had a pot luck dinner
Almost all of them would concur
Only the shrimp refused to share
Because shellfish is what they were!
analogy, fun, humor,
There is life in the old dog yet
Someone else once said
But who it was I haven't a clue
Was it therefore maybe you
A dogs life is not much fun
Unless you get your daily runs
As smelling the grass
Where a lady passed
Means we don't have to ask
So as it wasn't me and wasn't you
Who therefore had the clue
That there is life in an old dog yet
And as I am not yet dead
And there is supposed life in an old dog yet
Is that dog me?
JUST SOME FUN THIS ONE
art, boy, food, humor,
As a young boy named Bob
I was a bit of a slob
As I did my sweet chewing job
With typewriter teeth cleaning corncobs.
Many years have flown past.
I have grown old at last,
But dentures don’t force me to fast.
New typewriter teeth are having a blast.
The president, in a recent tweet, has said
he wants the constitution reinterpreted
to read what the Founding Fathers meant.
But shouldn’t he first be told it’s self-evident
that all of them have long been dead?
No matter. Any fake news should be discredited.
5th grade, fun, funny, satire,
WHEN THE MUSIC STOPS
JOHN M. ARRIBAS
While the Music Plays, Dance, but Be Aware
When the Music Stops, You’ll Need to Find a Chair
Beware on Halloween a Witches brew
As into the night her frosty breath grew
Whispering you to her door
And played you a trick galore
You gave her your candy and off she flew
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