These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.
A once esteemed party was fain
To cry ‘Racist!’ again and again
Not now and again
But NOW and AGAIN
Til it made neural paths in their brain
allusion, funny, hilarious, metaphor, surreal,
To solve the evil of pollution
just eating less is a solution
stone poop of indian
is real serious question
not doing every day is action
Read in daily newspapers
first love, funny,
Have you lost the plot?
No I have not! I am just feeling very hot
Do you fancy a snog???
No I'd rather kiss my dog
Oh thanks a lot!!
devotion, fantasy, funny, funny love, happiness, humorous,
I ask Alexa for things
She is responsive and pleasant
I think she loves me
america, appreciation, art, dad, divorce, funny love, missing,
A gun, a holster, bullets…
A glass of whiskey and
a ten-gallon hat.
A horse, a saddle, a bridle…
and bags to hold it all.
Good guys, bad guys,
sheriffs, and hoods.
Shoot outs, long rides,
and even skinning hides…
just for a living.
Heroes and villains…
Fought caught and hanged…!
all around the world.
Cowboys of fame…
You are who you are…
Spaghetti to hard sand,
a rare, uniquely, promised land.
Deserts and high country,
Indians and explorers…
Men of great pride!
Your word, your bond,
will last long.
Animals have no qualms about making love in public
Why do we have such a problem being naked on the sundeck
I'll be first to start the trend
Actually, I should advise my friends
Next time they're over, they'll know what to expect
I read a recipe for tofu that some eat,
with comments saying that it can’t be beat.
So I will begin -
throw it in the bin,
and grill yourself a nice piece of meat.
cool, crazy, giggle, imagination,
Badder then badder wearing a black bandana suit so sharp they call me Dan the Don dapper the Happy happy slapper two time world champ king of the trap trappers mr round of applause the clap clapper, they call me badder then badder wearing a black bandana sharp suit Dan the Don dapper the happy happy slapper two time world champ king of the trap trappers mr round of applause the clap clapper madder then a box of frogs the mad hatter.
A hippo and a kangaroo
were in a bar in Kathmandu.
The hippo ordered a cold beer,
let us make that very clear.
The kangaroo on the other hand
was clever enough to understand
that getting drunk in Katmandu
is not the wisest thing to do!
humor, poems, poetry, word play,
Poet wanted, please apply within,
That’s something you’ll never see.
It’s not easy trying to earn a living,
Rhyme and reasoning with poetry.
How can I achieve Poet Laureate,
If I can’t get my foot in the door,
Never ‘gonna’ be Hughes or Betjeman,
Or any of those after and before.
J. S. Bach was a top-notched organist.
A slew of Bachs with two wives he scored
who wished he played his harpsichord
the more and his organ less.
Just Tell Me What to Do
And, I, on a great schooner,
will sail away from you.
To another shore where
To be loved for exactly who
For I am full of romp and play.
Adieux, will see you some
August 15, 2019
fish, fishing, humor, humorous, peace, pets, preschool,
A half dozen, small fins…
bought from the pet shop.
Now swimming free in an ocean,
of rock, plastic flowers, and artsy things…
“All” part of the bigger picture.
I fed you daily, I feed you still.
There are less of you, but more of each.
You come at my calling.
You know when I walk by.
You bring me nothing but smiles.
You cost very little.
Little fins that swim around,
you cheer me so.
Feeder fish? Nay...
Little fins with big dreams,
now and forever,
swimming in a sea of beams,
confidence, dedication, devotion, endurance, feelings, humorous, love,
The Heart an instrument attached to life's support. It pumps as long as Life is abound. It should not be fooled with or made a fool of.
It gives love and Life. It's tremendous in it's giving. And always there for the
The Heart is joy and happiness when shared. But can become withered and sad when not shared. It can neither rest for if it stops life's portal is ended. And may not be started again.
The Heart an instrument of life never to be fooled with or made a fool of.
The ladies are the blessing of all mankind
If all of us were male, who'd be there to remind
Us to change our knickers
Or trim our whiskers
So thank goodness for all ye ladies so refined
T Warren, Sabian
crazy, fun, funny, silly,
The Wood That Smelt Good:
I adore your smoldering odor.
Your sniff makes my nostrils go gaga.
It's like someone threw a rose at my nose.
Whoops, got it too close too my face; now I've got a left ash-cheek.
Try not to freak, but this smudge is gonna be here all week.
I've heard the birbs; they've spoken 'bout your smokin'.
Then they left a few turds as a token.
I was going to write a sonnet...
But the words I speld were rawng
So instead I wrote a haiku
But my syllables were too long
So I decided to write a lyric...
And sing myself a song
But I forgot the words while singing it
So I ended it...dingdong
Invitation To Play Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Sheri Fresonke Harper
Unbridled bout of self-assertion blatant
turns you to a repelling babbling exuberant.
Shutting of orifice floodgates you eschew,
forgetting everybody isn’t fool around you.
Torn to shards if you blurt bullsheet absurd,
do a volte-face eating your crappy words.
Try to not gulp them dry in stigmatic drouth*,
for a fly does not enter a closed mouth.
August 14, 2019
*Drouth is Scottish dialect for drought
Why is Venus called the god of love
If you knew Samantha, she makes guys gush
A technique so cunning
Grabs us by the “blank” as we sing like a wood thrush
Honey Bunny infant coos gently,
Then sunny eyes roll— hiccups funny.
Your Turn For A Tyburn Contest, Charles Messina
13 August 2019
appreciation, confidence, future, humorous, life,
If you can always feel you have hope
That says you are healthy and clever
Will your future be noble and splendid
Never mind what others say you about
It's no doubt that no one can map you out
As you born unique with powerful thoughts
" Hope is made of Opportunities,
Unique and Powerful thoughts are essential"
humorous, silly, thanksgiving,
The turkeys just ate and ate,
more than they would like to state,
until they were so very fat,
'Thanksgiving' came and that was that!
confusion, hilarious, words,
I said something the other day
In quite an innocent way
A throw away comment
Said in the moment
I knew by their face
It had gone to a different place
Their expression had changed
From serious to delirious
How it got there
Is anyones guess
Laughing and smiling
Giggling and grinning
Oh my goodness
This was only the beginning
Lets not details discuss
It would create too much fuss
Try as I might
To put it right
The damage was done
Their thoughts were on the run
funny, humor, humorous, language, repetition, silly, sound,
Little Lucy likes liver
Long legged Lou loves Lucy
Loquacious Lenny laments loudly
Lovely Linda listens little
Listen Linda Listen!
Laborious Leroy lives luxuriously
Lethargic Larry lies levitating
Liberal Lillian languishes longingly
Looking languid, lacking levity
Lexical Lexi, legendary lewd librarian
Loves licentious liaisons
Lecherous Lucas lubricious libertine
Looks lustily like leading lothario
Lugubrious lyric, ludicrous lines
Lacking lucidity, looney lunacy
Lucrative limerick?? Laughable!
dark, humor, word play,
When in Germany beware,
use the language with great care.
Words that look and sound
like English will confound.
Like gift, to the english ear a present
given or received, and innocent,
to the German a deadly poison
given solely for one dark reason:
to eliminate and make short shrift
of an enemy w
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