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Funny Poems

These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.

Poem Details | by Brewer, Geoffrey |
Categories: humorous, political,

Repetition is not Truth

A once esteemed party was fain
To  cry ‘Racist!’ again and again
Not now and again
But NOW and AGAIN
Til it made neural paths in their brain


Poem Details | by POETRY, ALKAS |
Categories: allusion, funny, hilarious, metaphor, surreal,

LESS POLLUTION


    To solve the evil of pollution
     just eating less is a solution
     stone poop of indian 
     is real  serious question
     not doing every day is action



   Read in daily newspapers

Poem Details | by Keady, Damian |
Categories: first love, funny,

Just Talking Kisses

So..?

Yes what

Have you lost the plot?

No I have not! I am just feeling very hot

So..?

Yes what

Do you fancy a snog???

No I'd rather kiss my dog

Oh thanks a lot!!

DAMO

Poem Details | by RINALDI, RUDOLPH |
Categories: devotion, fantasy, funny, funny love, happiness, humorous,

Alexa

I ask Alexa for things 
She is responsive and pleasant
I think she loves me 


Poem Details | by Foster, Ann |
Categories: america, appreciation, art, dad, divorce, funny love, missing,

The West

The West

A gun, a holster, bullets…
A glass of whiskey and 
a ten-gallon hat.
A horse, a saddle, a bridle…
and bags to hold it all. 

Good guys, bad guys, 
sheriffs, and hoods. 
Shoot outs, long rides,
and even skinning hides…
just for a living. 

Heroes and villains…
Fought caught and hanged…!
Eternally glorified,
all around the world.

Cowboys of fame…
never refrain.
You are who you are… 
Spaghetti to hard sand, 
a rare, uniquely, promised land.

Deserts and high country, 
Indians and explorers…
Men of great pride!
Your word, your bond, 
Your story,
will last long. 
Forever.


Poem Details | by Ellison, Jack |
Categories: hilarious,

Making Love In Public



Animals have no qualms about making love in public Why do we have such a problem being naked on the sundeck I'll be first to start the trend Actually, I should advise my friends Next time they're over, they'll know what to expect

Poem Details | by Laurie, Lindsay |
Categories: food, humor,

When Tofu's the Go

I read a recipe for tofu that some eat,
with comments saying that it can’t be beat.
So I will begin -
throw it in the bin,
and grill yourself a nice piece of meat.

Poem Details | by Russell, Sam |
Categories: cool, crazy, giggle, imagination,

Rambling

Badder then badder wearing a black bandana suit so sharp they call me Dan the Don dapper the Happy  happy slapper two time world champ king of the trap trappers mr round of applause the clap clapper, they call me badder then badder wearing a black bandana sharp suit Dan the Don dapper the happy  happy slapper two time  world champ king of the trap trappers mr round of applause the clap clapper madder then a box of frogs the mad hatter.

Poem Details | by Thompson, Ronald |
Categories: humorous, silly,

The hippo and the kangaroo

A hippo and a kangaroo
were in a bar in Kathmandu. 
The hippo ordered a cold beer,
let us make that very clear.
The kangaroo on the other hand
was clever enough to understand
that getting drunk in Katmandu
is not the wisest thing to do!

Poem Details | by Shaw, Kevin |
Categories: humor, poems, poetry, word play,

Poet Wanted

Poet Wanted

Poet wanted, please apply within,
That’s something you’ll never see.
It’s not easy trying to earn a living,
Rhyme and reasoning with poetry.
 
How can I achieve Poet Laureate,
If I can’t get my foot in the door,
Never ‘gonna’ be Hughes or Betjeman,
Or any of those after and before.

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor, music,

Polyphyloprogenetive Bach


J. S. Bach was a top-notched organist.
A slew of Bachs with two wives he scored
who wished he played his harpsichord 
the more and his organ less.

Poem Details | by Romios, Panagiota |
Categories: freedom, funny,

Just Tell Me What to Do


Just Tell Me What to Do

And, I, on a great schooner,
will sail away from you.
To another shore where 
freedom is.

To be loved for exactly who
I am.
For I am full of romp and play.

Adieux, will see you some
other day.



August 15, 2019 


Poem Details | by Foster, Ann |
Categories: fish, fishing, humor, humorous, peace, pets, preschool,

Fish

Fish

A half dozen, small fins…
bought from the pet shop. 
Now swimming free in an ocean,
of rock, plastic flowers, and artsy things…
“All” part of the bigger picture. 

I fed you daily, I feed you still. 
There are less of you, but more of each.
You come at my calling. 
You know when I walk by.
You bring me nothing but smiles.
You cost very little.  

Little fins that swim around, 
you cheer me so.
Feeder fish? Nay... 
Little fins with big dreams, 
now and forever,
swimming in a sea of beams, 
all sunshine! 

Poem Details | by Williams, Marilyn |
Categories: confidence, dedication, devotion, endurance, feelings, humorous, love,

The Heart

The Heart an instrument attached to life's support. It pumps as long as Life is abound. It should not be fooled with or made a fool of. It gives love and Life. It's tremendous in it's giving. And always there for the taking. The Heart is joy and happiness when shared. But can become withered and sad when not shared. It can neither rest for if it stops life's portal is ended. And may not be started again. The Heart an instrument of life never to be fooled with or made a fool of.

Poem Details | by Ellison, Jack |
Categories: humor,

To Change Our Knickers



The ladies are the blessing of all mankind If all of us were male, who'd be there to remind Us to change our knickers Or trim our whiskers So thank goodness for all ye ladies so refined

Poem Details | by T Warren, Sabian |
Categories: crazy, fun, funny, silly,

Palo Santo

The Wood That Smelt Good:
I adore your smoldering odor.
Your sniff makes my nostrils go gaga.
It's like someone threw a rose at my nose.
Whoops, got it too close too my face; now I've got a left ash-cheek.
Try not to freak, but this smudge is gonna be here all week.
I've heard the birbs; they've spoken 'bout your smokin'.
Then they left a few turds as a token.

Poem Details | by messina, charles |
Categories: humorous,

Ding Dong

I was going to write a sonnet... 
But the words I speld were rawng
 
So instead I wrote a haiku 
But my syllables were too long
 
So I decided to write a lyric... 
And sing myself a song
  
But I forgot the words while singing it 
So I ended it...dingdong 


Invitation To Play Poetry Contest 
Sponsored by Sheri Fresonke Harper 
8-14-2019

Poem Details | by Sinha-Roy, Subimal |
Categories: humor, words,

Eating The Words


Unbridled bout of self-assertion blatant
turns you to a repelling babbling exuberant. 
Shutting of orifice floodgates you eschew,
forgetting everybody isn’t fool around you.

Torn to shards if you blurt bullsheet absurd,
do a volte-face eating your crappy words.
Try to not gulp them dry in stigmatic drouth*,
for a fly does not enter a closed mouth.

August 14, 2019
*Drouth is Scottish dialect for drought
 

Poem Details | by Ellison, Jack |
Categories: funny,

Like A Wood Thrush



Why is Venus called the god of love If you knew Samantha, she makes guys gush A technique so cunning Downright stunning Grabs us by the “blank” as we sing like a wood thrush

Poem Details | by Marty, Lyva |
Categories: baby, giggle,

All That Gas-TY





Honey
Bunny
Sunny
Funny

Honey Bunny infant  coos gently,
Then sunny eyes roll— hiccups funny.


Your Turn For A Tyburn Contest, Charles Messina
13 August 2019

Poem Details | by Pan, Xuefeng |
Categories: appreciation, confidence, future, humorous, life,

Be feeling good

If you can always feel you have hope
That  says you are healthy and clever
Will your  future be noble and splendid

Never mind what  others say you about
It's no doubt that no one can map you out
As  you born unique with powerful thoughts

" Hope is made of Opportunities, 
Unique and Powerful thoughts are essential"

Poem Details | by Thompson, Ronald |
Categories: humorous, silly, thanksgiving,

Thanksgiving Turkey

The turkeys just ate and ate,
more than they would like to state,
until they were so very fat,
'Thanksgiving' came and that was that!

Poem Details | by Byrne, Frances |
Categories: confusion, hilarious, words,

Interpretation

I said something the other day 
In quite an innocent way
A throw away comment
Said in the moment

I knew by their face
It had gone to a different place 
Their expression had changed 
From serious to delirious

How it got there 
Is anyones guess

Laughing and smiling
Giggling and grinning
Oh my goodness
This was only the beginning

Lets not details discuss
It would create too much fuss 

Try as I might 
To put it right 
The damage was done 
Their thoughts were on the run

Misinterpretation

Poem Details | by cheney, kenneth |
Categories: funny, humor, humorous, language, repetition, silly, sound,

Letter L

Little Lucy likes liver
Long legged Lou loves Lucy
Loquacious Lenny laments loudly
Lovely Linda listens little
Listen Linda Listen!
Laborious Leroy lives luxuriously
Lethargic Larry lies levitating
Liberal Lillian languishes longingly
Looking languid, lacking levity
Lexical Lexi, legendary lewd librarian
Loves licentious liaisons
Lecherous Lucas lubricious libertine
Looks lustily like leading lothario
Lugubrious lyric, ludicrous lines
Lacking lucidity, looney lunacy
Lightheaded lexicography!
Lucrative limerick?? Laughable! 


Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: dark, humor, word play,

Gift and Gift


When in Germany beware,
use the language with great care.
Words that look and sound
like English will confound.
Like gift, to the english ear a present 
given or received, and innocent,
to the German a deadly poison
given solely for one dark reason:
to eliminate and make short shrift
of an enemy w


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