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Funny Poems

These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.

Poem Details | by Leffanta, Rico |
Categories: humor, nature,

Mother Nature's Storyboard

Bumper Jumper Humper Dumper


Poem Details | by Goldsmith, Paula |
Categories: humorous, old,

Wild Country Bears

I went for a walk and what did I see,                                                          bears over there looking at me.                                                                    My mind did a flash,                                                                                    Oh! bears don't eat me.                                                                                  I am tough as can be,                                                                                     I am way too old for thee.

4/7/2020

Poem Details | by Wolf, Gershon |
Categories: health, hope, loss,

Not Funny

Jake's lost his job
  It's not funny
In stocks and bonds
  He's lost his money

He paces the floor
  All he does is mope
Cheer up, Jake
  You're healthy 
     ~ There's hope

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

Verdi Opera Pasta


Verdi ha scritto molte opere
tante quante sono le forme di pasta
ma solo la pasta può essere 
goduto in meno di tre ore.

Verdi wrote many operas
as many as there are shapes of pastas
but here’s a point to keep in mind:
pasta can be enjoyed in less than three hour’s time.

Poem Details | by Krutsinger, Caren |
Categories: 4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade, 8th grade, animal, humor,

Headless Penguins Doing Their Dance

Headless penguins doing their dance
Walking their walk on the pebble sea of chance
Their fat little tummies pushed out so proud
But no voices at all in this penguin dance crowd

Are they twins? We others ask with concern.
Without heads can the penguin dance they learn?
They trot in the our midst and begin to jive and jiggle
In no way worried they are headless in the middle

They are arrogant! An outraged uncle yelled out.
And without heads! How is it possible? Says another angry lout.
I do not care for they are pleasant enough to me.
After all how nasty can two headless penguins be?

Poem Details | by Koplin, Mark |
Categories: humor,

Stuck to the Loo

Little Johnny was feeling blue
Had a mishap with some glue
He thought he would cheat
And not fall off his seat
Now both buns are stuck to the loo

Poem Details | by Wolf, Gershon |
Categories: baby, giggle,

Shoot

Jacuzzi Woozy
  told Suzy Floozy
    a real Doozy
  Now there's
       a little Uzi

Poem Details | by Poteet, Reason A. |
Categories: 11th grade, humor, scary,

Me Oh My Oh

Mudlarking as a child was fun
growing up on the Ohio.
Treasures wanted by nobody
became all mine, me oh, my oh!

Mudlarking as a new swimmer
squeezing my toes on the bottom
sometimes found a crawdad or two
Not funny, we never caught 'em.

Mudlarking means digging through mud
for one juicy tidbit, rumor
that belittles one's opponent -
not truthful and lacking humor. 

Mudlarking has become nasty
hateful, spite-filled politico.
Mudlarkers mark a nation as
vitriolic, me oh, my oh!

April 6, 2020

Poem Details | by Wolf, Gershon |
Categories: animal, giggle, word play,

Animal Antics

    Giddy 
    Kiddie

    Purdy
    Birdie

    Funky
    Monkey

    Lucky
    Duckie  

    Picky
    Chicky  

    Loggy 
    Froggy

    Wiggy
    Piggy
 
    Squirmy 
    Wormy

    Tidy
    Spidy

    Lucy
    Goosy

    Lovey
    Dovey

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: dark, humor,

Marriage and Books


Our marriage was like a book:
With a cursory look
at the first chapter
I was glad it would end.

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

Bare Bottom


Concerning her husband, a wife dared
to say she never saw his bottom bared –
except once when he was caught streaking
and only because her mother began shrieking.

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: car, humor,

His Old Car


I’ve thought of trading in my wife
as I might a run-down old car –
lots of men do when they tire
of looking at the same old lemon.

The chassis has seen better days
and the odometer records a life
well traveled; moreover the old gal
leaks here and there and requires

new parts the more she ages,
a costly burden on my wallet.
And yet there’s something about her 
I can’t quite bring myself to part with. 

A warm attachment best describes it.
Or just an old man’s love for an old car.
Anyway, I just had to tell her the news: 
Love, I’m keeping you just as you are.

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

Worse than no Rime


I never thought it a crime
to write a poem without rime.
Far worse in my eyes
is to plagiarize.

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

Why Humans Complain


When it comes to complaining
with humans it first appears
at birth with a brief slap
on our rears.

Poem Details | by Kinard, Robert |
Categories: family, fantasy, funny love, nature, seasons,

Weather

The Seasonal family of
Mother Nature
and Father Time
When it comes to
a family reunion,
they are never far behind.
Winter, spring, summer 
and fall.

With her daughter 
always on the ball.
Mother nature’s 
first born, Weather.

She is not as predictable 
as we would like to think.
With named hurricanes 
and tornadoes, 
Weather has seasons 
of her own.
Wind, Rain, Sleet, 
and Snow.
A drought in the desert 
together goes well
and on some occasions 
she has been known 
to give us hail.
Just to let you know
Weather is always 
on the go.

Poem Details | by naeemahmad , abdurraheem |
Categories: friend, fun, funny, high school,

Khamisa Class

Khamisa Class 
A class made up of combination of different students 
Ranging from serious students to crazy students 
Including both sleeping students and playful students 
But Interestingly,they are all my fellow students! 

I don't know if at all they should be called students 
Cos learning is the characteristic of any student 
Of which I see not in these Khamisa Students 
But that doesn't mean they are poor students 

Look, they pass their exams like no other students! 
Just that jamia has made them this kind of students 
I'm privileged to have them as my fellow students 
Cos they mean more to me, than being fellow students! 

Poem Details | by Krutsinger, Caren |
Categories: 10th grade, 11th grade, 12th grade, funny, hilarious, humor, humorous,

Chainsaw Masssacre Easter Bunny

If you thought killer clowns were fun
Chainsaw Massacre Easter Bunny is right up your plate
If you like Stephen King novels and are not fearful,
You are really going to like CMEB
Come on down, I scream to my neighbor
Don’t be such a chicken.
Get out of that tree!


Poem Details | by Krutsinger, Caren |
Categories: 10th grade, 11th grade, 12th grade, 9th grade, baby, humor, humorous,

A Rabbit An Elk and a Snowman

A rabbit an elk and a snowman walked into a bar.
I stared at this neonate.
Did eight month olds talk?

No wait. He is nine months old right?
I check the calendar.
Nine months going on ten.
My first time at babysitting him.

The bartender says.
I run to get a pencil to write this down.
He gurgles at me.
Loud gas bubble pops

I get out my phone to videotape him.
Go ahead, I say.
The door opens. His parents have returned.
His mouth slams shut.
Loud giggle.

You are diabolical I say.
A bad baby.
He laughs himself silly.


Poem Details | by Krutsinger, Caren |
Categories: age, books, humorous, light,

Do Not Like Being Shushed

I do not like being shushed
But I did not used to mind it
When I was a child 
Or a pre-teenager
Or a teenager
Or an eighteen-year-old who knew everything

In the library some think it is necessary.
Librarians do a lot of shushing.
I have been using libraries since 1957
So I kind of know what I’m talking about
I used to be shushed by old lady librarians.
That was fine. It was their job.
I held no grudges

Today’s librarians look to be 
About twelve or thirteen
Many even younger
I hate to generalize
But it seems worse
to be shushed by librarians
younger than my pantyhose



Poem Details | by Koplin, Mark |
Categories: humor,

All Out of Soap

My chores are all done, what now shall I do?
I’ve self-checked my prostate and left nipple to.
I woke up this morning face down in the grass.
The dog won’t come in, she’s tired of my swass.

I guess I’ll just wait for a new morning’s sun.
The squirrels smell me coming and begin to run.
The backyard is empty, not even a skunk.
I’m all out of soap no way to defunk.

Poem Details | by Koplin, Mark |
Categories: humor,

Quarantine Blues

All is quiet, my corner still safe.
Ten more pounds, I’m beginning to chafe.
I’ve chewed the couch and the lazy boy chair.
I look like a hippy with all of this hair.

Civilization does need to return.
The dogs want me gone as my stomach swells and churns.
A fresh box of ding dongs and twinkies galore.
My britches don’t fit I can’t take much more.

I never thought that I would see the day.
A line outside Walmart, no freaking way.
How long will this last, I don’t have a clue.
I’m stuck indoors with the quarantine blues.

Poem Details | by aller, jake |
Categories: humorous, inspiration, inspirational, love,

the moment that changed my life sonnet

the moment that changed my life
occurred in late August 1982
when the woman of my dreams
came out of my dreams
walking off a bus
and into my life
a few months later became my wife
first dreamt of her in 1979
back in my high school day
and I knew that some day
I would meet the woman
in my dreams
and I did and that changed my fate
when I met her that date

writing digest prompt - also a sonnet!

Poem Details | by hancock, william |
Categories: humor, smile,

THE TOILET

THE TOILET
 
I visited the Toilet - A grand salubrious place
Of gleaming Glistening tiles - a really pristine place

A space to hold a Banquet - A conference of a ball
With tops of stalls and toilet doors - for those who like a fall

I know I rush-ed into it - what purpose, don't recall
For I slipped on Gleaming, Pristine tiles - and went smack into the wall

So, if you have a desperate need-go slowly if you will




William Hancock
03.02.2005
1444Z



Poem Details | by Canerdy, Janice |
Categories: humor, poetry,

A Clown's Bid for Fame


Fun times, I’m having with bad rhymes. They come unbidden. They’re so dumb. Will lame lines bring this clown great fame?
April 5, 2020 entered in Joseph May's Find Your Musette Contest

Poem Details | by Leffanta, Rico |
Categories: humor, math, prayer,

COVID-19 Prayer

The Lord has sent COVID-19
To wipe out the filth and un-clean
But I've had "The Bath"
So please check Your math
To ensure You harvest the Mean!


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