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Funny Poems

These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.

Poem Details | by Sharan, Esha |
Categories: funny, giggle, humor, longing, poetry, summer, weather,

Skinny dip

Craving Skinny dip
breezed to the stream on full moon
stripping emerged out
stream dry as rock, my wish died
check water before you strip.


Poem Details | by Sharan, Esha |
Categories: funny, giggle, poetry, simple, society,

Stoned

looking at a stone 
I smile appreciating 
earning title stoned.

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

Kidney Transplants



Here’s a bit of humor so bizarre,
you’ll wonder if you heard it at a bar.
A dog bequeathed his kidneys to
his master, himself in need of two.
The operation, critical and delicate, 
proved a success and surgically correct.
The only downside, and unpredictable,
has the dog nearly hysterical,
watching his master trying to piddle
with one leg lifted in a public urinal!

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

Lesser of Two Evils


Said the judge: Lady, don’t you see
that driving nude puts police at great risk?
Maybe so, she said, but it saves me
the humiliation of a crude frisk.


Poem Details | by McAdam, Kim |
Categories: beach, children, humor, simile,

Ocean Waves

ocean waves rush in
like rambunctious preschoolers
at morning recess
eager to entertain you
in goofy games of pretend

Poem Details | by McAdam, Kim |
Categories: halloween, humor,

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

What's up with all these walking dead
Who stagger all around our bed?
Uninterested in beef stew,
They'd rather munch on me and you.

These lurching corpses swarm the land.
They feast on flesh with nothing planned.
They hunt the living, eat their brains.
They're undeterred by snow or rain.

These mindless zombies stumble on,
A decomposing marathon,
Two steps forward, one step back,
A pitiful, persistent pack.

"My dear, I fear you've grown unique...
Your eyeball's hanging on your cheek!"

Poem Details | by McAdam, Kim |
Categories: halloween, humor,

Witch Hazel

Witch Hazel failed her flying test.
She crashed her broom.
The worst marks in the wicked west,
they sealed her doom.
Her magic was deniable.
Her spells were unreliable.
Too low, too fast, I would assume.
She crashed her broom.

But Hazel wanted to be best,
the brightest bloom.
With lots of practice, she progressed
and shed her gloom.
She took the test a second time,
but struggled as she tried to climb.
Police blamed alcohol consumed.
She crashed her broom.

Poem Details | by McAdam, Kim |
Categories: future, humor,

Alphabetized

Content I was to be a frog,
Devouring dusty dragonflies,
Exposing eyeballs by a log,
Floating 'neath sublime summer skies.
Now I'm a Prince alphabetized.

Poem Details | by McAdam, Kim |
Categories: halloween, humor,

Panic

plump pumpkins panic
as Halloween moves toward
a sharp carving knife

Poem Details | by Connell, Carol |
Categories: birth, humor, muse, poems, poetry, poets,

Virtuous Verse

                               Persistently 
                            pensive 
                          poets 
                       produce 
                   prodigious 
                poetry, ...................
                      perhaps.

10/21/19

Poem Details | by Chugh, Lochan |
Categories: death, emotions, fear, humor, life, loneliness, sun,

Let's die

It was a height of 250 metres,
But I wasn’t afraid;
I looked down
And there wasn’t even my shade.

The sun was already jumping
But with a low speed,
“ I can perform better,
 I am not going to give the lead.”

Took a deep breath
And I was in air,
Time stopped,
And silence reached there.

The sun began moving upward,
Or I began moving downward,
I was flying,
But like a dead bird.

When from the ground,
I wasn’t really high,
Mind said,“ change in plan,
Let the sun first die”.

Poem Details | by Blodgett, Lonna |
Categories: fantasy, giggle, halloween,

Crusty Odd and Fat

A crusty goblin cracked a crevassed grin
While chasing odd witches in a tailspin
He heisted her fat black cat
Whereupon her broom she sat
To kill all the rats in his crusty den

Poem Details | by ROY, PRATAP |
Categories: funny,

Boss :: Folia

Doc, how you find our boss, inquired office assistant anxiously; I find him OK, though looks tired; there is no abnormality. But, boss this morning gave detailed lecture how the office is messed; Do not you feel, it has displayed something abnormal, needs more rest. Doc, think again before release; it'd be so hard to bring him back for more test; would it not be nice to keep him under watch to track? Surely his constant worry for more work may increase blood pressure; why not think to keep him few more weeks, till we decide he's better. ~X~X~X~
Note: Humorous poems with no intention to hurt sentiments of any person. Just for fun.

Poem Details | by Sharan, Esha |
Categories: fun, giggle, girl, memory, poetry,

oblivion-check

Infinite sorrows non-existent
life chirped in oblivion
halcyon days of childhood
unplanned outcomes were a hit
full-on Masti from dawn to dusk
until a voice boom into ur giggles
"You're grounded 4 a week"
a tiny moment of heartbreak,
erased again in no time with 
your favourite ice cream.

Poem Details | by Iversen, Peter |
Categories: funny, poems,

17 syllable slave

Five, not more or less
seven syllables in two
five again, rules are rules

Poem Details | by Keady, Damian |
Categories: humor,

My Phone

My Phone is a Necessity

     It speaks to you 

         And to me

            DAMO
                x

Poem Details | by McLeod, Trevor |
Categories: character, dedication, hilarious, holiday, howl, identity, image,

McKerrow You Stink

On the short little drive up 17
was the smell of a land we'd quarantined
Where the place we went through wasn't quite as bad
as the hell of a town Espanola had

Where we rolled through the blessings
with our windows up
And the town called Mckerrow
made our faces shlupt

That we moaned for our senses
for the world to change
When the smell hit our window
in a smell quite strange

And we rolled through the town
going just as fast
As the smell that was slowing
all the hope gone passed

Mckerrow




Poem Details | by Jagenberg, Fred |
Categories: humorous,

Deutsch Day

Facts don’t matter
Kleinen factor
Das mach dribble
All my scribble
Schlegel passive
Meaning massive
Vorton measured
Lyrics treasured

Poem Details | by Parmenter, Nina |
Categories: age, fun, humorous,

When I am Old

I will waft through sunlit rooms
in fun-packed shoes
and sport a batwing like a pro.

I’ll be draped with chunky beads
and memories.
My eyes will spark, my words will flow.

I’ll wear my glasses on a cord.
My hair, fresh-poured,
will breeze like my contented muse.

But I won’t have cats -
stuff that,
with their sneezy fur and toxic poos.
No I won’t have cats.
Stuff that. 
Meow. I refuse.




20 October 19

Poem Details | by Adams, PAT |
Categories: fantasy, fish, humor,

A Fishy Pot Luck Dinner

The fish had a pot luck dinner
Almost all of them would concur
Only the shrimp refused to share
Because shellfish is what they were!

Poem Details | by Keady, Damian |
Categories: analogy, fun, humor,

Just Some Fun This One

There is life in the old dog yet
Someone else once said

But who it was I haven't a clue
Was it therefore maybe you

A dogs life is not much fun
Unless you get your daily runs

As smelling the grass
Where a lady passed
Means we don't have to ask

So as it wasn't me and wasn't you
Who therefore had the clue
That there is life in an old dog yet

And as I am not yet dead
And there is supposed life in an old dog yet

Is that dog me?

JUST SOME FUN THIS ONE

Best Wishes
DAMO x

Poem Details | by Drowley, David |
Categories: art, boy, food, humor,

Corncobs

As a young boy named Bob
I was a bit of a slob
As I did my sweet chewing job
With typewriter teeth cleaning corncobs.

Many years have flown past.
I have grown old at last,
But dentures don’t force me to fast.
New typewriter teeth are having a blast.

Date:10/19/2019
Picture 3

Poem Details | by Rigoler, Maurice |
Categories: humor,

Another Trump Tweet


The president, in a recent tweet, has said
he wants the constitution reinterpreted
to read what the Founding Fathers meant.
But shouldn’t he first be told it’s self-evident
that all of them have long been dead?
No matter. Any fake news should be discredited.

Poem Details | by Arribas, John |
Categories: 5th grade, fun, funny, satire,

WHEN THE MUSIC STOPS

WHEN THE MUSIC STOPS
by

JOHN M. ARRIBAS



While the Music Plays, Dance, but Be Aware
When the Music Stops, You’ll Need to Find a Chair



Poem Details | by McGee, Jeanne |
Categories: funny, halloween,

Beware



            Beware     on Halloween             a Witches brew
        As into the night her frosty breath               grew
            Whispering you to her door
         And played you a trick galore
                 You gave her your candy and off                      she flew






10-17-2019
copyright protected 2019 
Jeanne McGee


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