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Funny Poems

These are funny poems written by international poets. Funny poems are added daily and hundreds of new funny poems are added weekly for your reading pleasure.

Poem Details | by Shaw, Indiana |
Categories: humorous, write,

That's Fresh

THAT'S FRESH

My; this salad is fresh, the snail is still walking around in its Sunday’s best

Indiana Shaw . . . ; )


Poem Details | by Knowlton, Charlie |
Categories: food, humor,

3 Senryu cooking show challenges



                                   man vs food
                                   bbq ribs
                                   one napkin


                                   emeril in the kitchen
                                   gas leak
                                   bam


                                   chefs open your baskets
                                   ribbon candy crab sprite and cheese whiz
                                   good luck

Poem Details | by Goldsmith, Paula |
Categories: birthday, boy, humor,

Wrong Year Great Leap Forward

All the birthday boys,                                                                                                        without any toys.                                                                                                        It's the wrong year,                                                                                                     oh no my dear. 

Written Date: 1/21/2020

Poem Details | by Krampe, Agnes |
Categories: funny, winter,

White lay on Schuman lake the snow

The snow lay white on Schuman lake
this afternoon. The ice
gleamed in the sun. I went to take
a picture. It looked nice.

White lay on Schuman lake the snow,
I took my phone to capture
where near the bank the cattails grow.
Was careless in the rapture.

White lay the snow on Schuman lake.
I took a step – and crash
did not forsee the ice would break.
my foot went in with splash.

On Schuman lake, the snow lay white.
I wore nice shoes and suit!
The mud was deep, the ice had bite.
I wish I’d worn a boot.

On Schuman lake white lay the snow.
I hobbled to my car
and drove away with dripping toe
because I’d gone too far.



Poem Details | by Turner, Daniel |
Categories: funny, humor, poetry, words,

Let's Laugh

"Oh, woe is me,"so long, my words have slept
Where once they freely frolicked in the light
Dark shadows past and present danced in step
Now darkness shrouds them from this poet's sight

I see the countless colors of twilight
I sat in silence as the seasons changed
I've felt an inner peace in soft moonlight
Somewhere in there, the words became estranged

Yet, I know some will say I am deranged
That words just simply do not go to sleep
I hope when they awake, they've rearranged
In verses rhythmic, colorful, and deep

Some days when urges come, the words do not
I wonder, "Do you think it was the pot?"
   

   by Daniel Turner

Poem Details | by Hinshaw, Robert L. |
Categories: cat, humorous,

My Cat Jefferson

My tom cat Jeff was neutered and in that he had no choice

     Now he purrs and meows with a high-pitched falsetto voice!

Poem Details | by Rodrigues, Kim |
Categories: food, humor,

How many of you eat in your sleep


We are breaking fast — as if that’s what we meant to do.
Do you flip pancakes with your eyes shut?
Toss’n turn and scramble eggs?
Do you pour stout coffee down snoring abyss?

They say breakfast is the most important meal
But recently heard
That breakfast doesn’t have to be before noon
You can break fast at two

It is what you do
With the choices you
Have, eat not
Precariously, slip
Not on doughnuts or other sweets

Jump start your day,
you good looking energizer bunny…

1/21/2020

Poem Details | by Vialpando, Aaron |
Categories: appreciation, funny love,

Opera - Rouge

In my younger youth, this color was sort of appalling for me.  I did not fancy nails with decorations.  I was not raised around it.  Now I prefer to have black nails or some kind of warrior looking paint.
A friend of mine asked a teacher if he could see her bare feet.  He told her no.  As a curious adolescent, I looked down to see her feet.  Her feet were pretty and she read polish on her toes.  Since that day, I have been fond of the color red.  My friend was pretty and from the pictures of today I can see her pretty smile, rosy cheeks, and covered chest showing two humble mountains.  Her name was Amber Garcia.

Poem Details | by messina, charles |
Categories: humor,

Mister Mista

Mister Mista couldn't resist her... 
He got a blister when he kissed Sista 
Mista's sister,  Sista Mista 
Was Mister Mista's sixth Step-sister 



Twist My Tongue Poetry Contest 
Sponsor: Nina Parmenter 
1-20-2019

Poem Details | by Tumanov, Vladimir |
Categories: humor, humorous, poems, poetry, poets, writing,

Need to Write

In the bone is our need to write bred. It’s a craze that must always be fed. But we’re frightened to ask — see the face neath the mask — are our scribbles and rants ever read?

Poem Details | by Poteet, Reason A. |
Categories: 11th grade, fun, humor, poets,

A Golden Egg - CL


For Charley, please write a char-lay
a piece with extra spark bar none.

Deep thought laid aside for a day 
shar-penning a lay just for fun.

When it comes to coming undone
some eggheads plain don't want to play.

Others with harder shells will run 
'cause a golden egg they may lay.


January 20, 2020

Charles Messina's -  Oh-No A Twisted Char-Lay Poetry Contest

Poem Details | by Hinshaw, Robert L. |
Categories: humorous,

Cletus O'Toole's False Teeth

Though many times Cletus O'Toole was somewhat uncouth,
He could always be relied upon to tell the truth.

No better legacy to his progeny could he bequeath,
Than that of, "Truer words were never spoken thru falser teeth!"

Poem Details | by Iversen, Peter |
Categories: humorous,

Don't Ask

What where when and why
won't be answered before you die
perhaps it's better not to know
then life will be like an endless show


WHERE and THEN Poetry contest
Jenish Somadas

1/20/2020

Poem Details | by Trim, Nick |
Categories: funny,

Wilson The Watcher

You're obsessed

Poem Details | by Wolves, Running |
Categories: fishing, fun, humorous,

Fishing gone wrong

fish tangling spinning line fish spits the hook darn
first attempt at a Lanterne poem...

Poem Details | by Leffanta, Rico |
Categories: humor,

False Spring

A nudist said, "Oh, what the heck!
I shall get my suntan on deck!"
A girl came along
And saw something wrong
But when it spat, she broke its neck

Poem Details | by Moorman, Curtis |
Categories: funny,

I'm A Sheet Slitter

I'M A SHEET SLITTER

I'm a sheet slitter, I slit sheets
Because I'm the best sheet slitter
That ever slit a sheet

For the contest sponsored by Nina Parmenter

Poem Details | by Tumanov, Vladimir |
Categories: humorous, student, wisdom,

Deep Students

The students in my classrooms were deeper than the rest! They yearned for knowledge only, and I, their prof, felt blessed. This was my giddy thought when my first class I taught… until I heard the ditty: "Will this be on the test?”

Poem Details | by Krutsinger, Caren |
Categories: fantasy, funny, humor,

Useful Mini Bunnies Between My Toes

There are mini-bunnies in between my fleshy toes
They live there in miniature rose bush that glows.
I watch them sometimes, amazed at their grimes.
Hopping between my big toe with green slimes.

Carrying passels of baby bunnies on their warm backs.
They visit each other, and laugh with tiny little hacks.
I sleep with my feet reposing in lettuce and worse.
Wanting them to eat up, and there are carrots in my purse.

Rewarding them for their yard work, glad that they glow.
Happy that their favorite thing in summer is to mow.
For they get out their lawn mowers and get all of the hair.
Off of my legs, that has been growing down there.


Poem Details | by Krutsinger, Caren |
Categories: grandchild, humorous,

You Are My Sweetheart

Hug. Hug. Kiss. Kiss. Smooch. Smooch.
YUCK!
Being four, he does not want to even think about that stuff
until his grandma comes into the room.
You are my sweetheart! He yells, wanting her all to himself.
He holds her head steady, so she can only look at him.
Can I look at your sister? She asks him.
Hug. Hug. Kiss. Kiss. Smooch. Smooch.
The answer is no apparently.

Poem Details | by Raynes, Lewis |
Categories: death, humorous, life, perspective,

Transplant survivor

I was silent and tranquil, not moving at all, 
I no longer needed a lung,
No longer able to move me at all, 
I no longer beat my own drum,

On this cold bed of steel in a room full of lights, 
Her hands held tight to her blade,
And she cut me in two, my chest fell away, 
And she looked for whatever remained,

My heart, my liver, kidney and veins, 
She removed most of my bones,
Until all I was was a smile on a face, 
A shell of a man with no clothes,

Now I’m all over the place, all over the town, 
I think I walk with a friend,
Not resting, just yet, alone with my soul, 
Parts of me are still not quite dead.

Poem Details | by Wanter, Sunlite |
Categories: humor,

Free Verse Carelessly

Now I just wanted a taco;
Is that too much to ask.
I have the meat and spices, yum.
First I slapped the meat in the pan,
Waited for one side to scorch,
Flipped it over and 
Splashed grease all over but then,
Scraped it into crumbles
No one was even looking.
Chopped finely da tamadoes,
And some onion, continued cooking.
Tuk three shells, pud a big spoon in each,
Chomped a big crackle – enjoyed the paper plate.
Spilled salsa down my chin,
Spread grated cheese around the kitchen.
Now that’s a way to end a good day.
I just wanted a taco.
(Forgot the green avacado.)

Poem Details | by Tumanov, Vladimir |
Categories: animal, humanity, humorous, irony, war,

Inventive Humans

We invented the spear, and the mammoths were dead. Then our flintlocks and muskets filled bison with dread. Next came dreadnoughts, now — drones, paving landscapes with bones. What new wonders I wonder will come from our head?

Poem Details | by Tumanov, Vladimir |
Categories: food, humorous,

Eat to Live or Live to Eat

That one eats to live is a lie. This maxim will simply not fly. Since everyone dies, death acts as life's prize. And therefore, we all eat to die. That we live to eat seems quite right. Life trickles away bite by bite. But this we deny and strongly decry while drooling at food's very sight.

Poem Details | by Krutsinger, Caren |
Categories: humor,

I Dare you to Try It

Her husband tried to restrict her diet
Causing a disturbance and a riot
Would you like to see?
How crazy this would be?
I dare you to go ahead and try it.


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