Humorous and funny Absence poems and/or funny poems about Absence. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Absence funny poems!
Written by
Pat Adams
Categories:
absence, confusion, feelings, humorous, word play,
The Hot Brazilian
She said, "It was fun yesterday and hot!"
"I made love with a Brazilian all day!"
Her friend said, "Shut up, I hope you did not!"
"How many is a Brazilian anyway?"
Written by
Whit Deschner
Categories:
12th grade, absence, funny, heartbroken, humorous, lost love
Untidled
Caught in emotion
She went down to the ocean
To where the cliffs are extremely steep
And there she wept
Then finally lept
At a place called 'Lover's Leap'
But while doing here pouting
The tide took to outing
And now the tour guides to show
Where lost love and gravity
Made a large cavity
Far far on the beach below
Written by
Emma Anonymous
Categories:
funny, love,
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Absence makes
the heart grow fonder
to those closer
not those yonder
Written by
A.O. Taner
Categories:
absence, break up, confidence, death, feelings, funny
End
Only then you're done,
when you end the ending;
leave the closure to others,
that way it's much more fun.
Written by
Hanif Munthali
Categories:
absence, addiction, allusion, cry, funny love, goodbye
At the Middle of the Night
AT THE MIDLE OF A NIGHT
I wake up to unusual ringtone
I rise to pick up my phone
One eyed half open,
I stretch out my hands down my pillow
I clean my throat ready to say “hallo”
My right thumb on the screen to slide the green icon
But….there is no message or a missed call
Oh my God, I forgot that I never had you’re new number at all
Because you’re gone- my sweetie
So reluctantly, I have to go back to sleep
Written by
Mark J. Halliday
Categories:
absence, childhood, chocolate, death of a friend, humor, political
Muppet Eulogy
Bye Cookie Monster!
Pointlessly martyred by the
Political left.
Written by
Jan Oskar Hansen
Categories:
absence, humorous, retirement,
Fidel Castro
Fidel Castro
So you do know Fidel Castro? I think I do
that was the name of the mess boy, the one who
had to do the dirty dishes and clean floors
“Fy” as he was called was older than me and had
a much better education, and I, as his boss felt his
contempt being told what to do by an officer of
working class, roots. But I knew as everybody who
read knows, the little man is but a servant for
the rich, they need someone educated to tell them
what to do; In Venezuela, Fidel jumped ship he was
not missed and we got another mess-boy
who could not read or write because the wage he got
could support his family. The downside was I had
no one to argue with
Written by
Poet Destroyer A
Categories:
absence, abuse, confusion, corruption, funny,
Paranormal Activity
it's too late to read this poem!
The poem was removed, due to alien activity.
Area 51
By: PD
Written by
Rudolph Rinaldi
Categories:
absence, age, funny, internet, sad,
I Think
artificial
intelligence
leads to
dementia
in
difference -
I
think
Written by
Raven Tones
Categories:
absence, dark, depression, goodbye, humorous, metaphor
Pavement Pancake
Slowly We Are All Falling,
Some Just Quicker Than Others,
Some Will Have An Arm To Grab Before Hitting Bottom,
Some Never Bothered To Pack A Parashute,
And The Others Are Just Enjoying The Fresh Air On The Way Down,
Awaiting To Become A Pavement Pancake
If we have a hand to hold us we may never had fallen
And if we had an ear lent someone would have heard cries for help
My parachute is broken, no ever listened, and the held let go of me
Before we, land the only thing left to think is,
i wonder if anyone has any maple syrup
Written by
Travis Klein
Categories:
absence, anti bullying, bereavement, change, destiny, funny
The Shellfish
The Shellfish
The Selfish Shellfish
Had a pearl inside of its own,
One day he thought to himself,
“Why can’t I have more pearls to myself”,
So he went on a
Search for even more pearls,
“Looks like my
Neighbor is now sleeping”,
He knocked on
The Shell, “Anyone There”,
The other Shell
Awoke is a somber tone,
“You want my pearl,
Well climb on in and get it”,
The Selfish Shellfish
Did and, then the Larger Shell went, Ah— Glup.
Travis “Ceijaeh” Klein
Written by
Duncan Mitchell
Categories:
absence, humorous, lost love, truth,
Tmi
Bad poetry is what one gets
when horny people don't have sex
so if this rhyme seems juvenile
give me a break, it's been a while
Written by
Muhammad Safa Thajudeen
Categories:
absence, depression, evil, funny love, together,
Heart Vs Thoughts
Heart and thoughts like a bull cart,
To walk together straight,
Behave like an enemy my thoughts,
Reminding the one did depart,
Pinning my heart!
Written by
Sand Blown
Categories:
absence, humor, memory,
A Way For a Day Re-Writ
to be oldt fashioned...
at a fun-near-all
are some relative-at-tea...
with at least two people
knot-met since...
some long gone time ago
andt now under...
standing-smiles
lies a hum-our-being...
echoing lightly in
a wise-dome...
of minds
stans sand
Written by
Earl Schumacker
Categories:
absence, adventure, crazy, emotions, funny love, inspirational
Partner-Less Sex
Love is stranger with a stranger
Without a partner it is dangerous
With someone in the dark
Imagination wonders are you there
Feeling around there are no walls or floors
No one found about the house might seem bizarre
But what if you were not there
That would be scarier
Partner-less sex is hard work
Without a bed it is ridiculous
Written by
Trevor Mcleod
Categories:
absence, confusion, creation, eulogy, fun, funny
This Poem
This poem has yet to finish.
It's barely past the start.
It hasn't any followers
and isn't yet an art.
The subject is not written:
direction not quite clear.
My reason for it's being
is only what is here.
The length is getting longer
with nothing more to say.
Without a proper ending
it just might run astray.
I'll say my final thoughts
in hopes they'll bring an end.
But really; who'm I kidding,
a sequels 'round the bend.
Written by
Gilbert Mapengo-Mwanguku
Categories:
absence, desire, fantasy, funny love, longing,
Before I See You
By
Gilbert
Mapengo
Mwanguku
I
imprignate
my
mind
with
illusions
weighing
the
naked
reality
of
imaginations
sipping
sweet
spirits
into
my
veins
before
I
choke
in
this
black
smoke
before
I
throw
my
heart
in
a
burning
cage
before
I
unveil
the
true
colours
of
a
hungry
lion
do
not
let
me
fall
in
abyss
of
stress
leave
me
with
one
precious
word
in
my
vocabulary
one
word
to
sail
me
through,to
the
very
end
one
word
indeed,
LOVE
Written by
Ironic Zink
Categories:
absence, giggle, hope, humor, inspiration,
:-Hoping In the Shower:-
As I misspell lettered life—I find hope in a shower.
|r0Ni€ z|n€
6/18/16
Written by
Rangarajan Gopal
Categories:
absence, anger, funny love, longing,
Looking Back
Looking Back..
True! It happened
At the very first
sight,
Heart to heart
Eye to eye
Ear to ear
Cheek to cheek
Lip to lip
Joy defined...
But now,
Out of sight
Hurt to hurt
Eye for an eye
Ear for swear
Cheeky, more
Cheeky
Lips slip
Joy trampled!
Written by
Mary Rotman
Categories:
absence, betrayal, break up, funny, humor, jealousy
Minimalist Jilt
(fromThe John Poems)
Then I loved you
Now I don’t
Once I would
Now I won’t
You were here
Now you’re gone
No one left
To mow my lawn
Lock’s been changed
Key’s been hid
Phone’s unplugged
Heart’s up for bid
You were mine
Now you’re hers
On your head
I place a curse
Written by
Jan Hansen
Categories:
absence, dream, funny love,
A Port In Italy
A port in Italy
Livorno was a dark town with sparse light that appeared Russian
at an open place with many trucks and many women milling about
I paid one she bent over the bonnet of a car
did this to relieve the boredom and the onset of depression.
When the deed was done, I walked to a restaurant and bought
a bottle of wine, it was surprisingly good, probably Russian
I do not care for Italian wine.
The woman followed me, wanted wine also, said I was gentle.
After two bottles, she said she loved me.
When she went into the loo. I jumped into a taxi and drove
back to the ship feeling annoyed.
What has love got to do with this?
Written by
Muhammad Safa Thajudeen
Categories:
absence, death, earth, grave, humorous,
Grave
"Grave mistake"
"Grave is not mistake-
Nobody can miss it and everybody to take"
Written by
Heather Rodwell
Categories:
absence, allusion, confusion, dream, drink, humorous
Losing Concentration
In the middle of thought,
A bug appears in my tea
I watch how it swirls around in circles
Creating patterns in the liquid,
Catching the colours
Of the world around it.
I look outside To see the reflection
And find a dove Watching me from the window.
What was I thinking
Before I got distracted?
The dove takes flight And disappears.
I look in my tea;
Still as the air.
No bug to be seen.
Now what was I thinking?
Written by
Muhereza Rodgers Roger
Categories:
absence, caregiving, desire, funny love,
Heart of Stone
Its round with a curve and just a nerve
so hard to penetrate and conquer
You will always hit and run
But if you are caught and woven there
You will know that
Doors hard to break into
Are also hard to break through
Just like
This heart that loves you tight
Written by
John Beam
Categories:
absence, allusion, christian, feelings, humorous, jesus
A Nihilism
a tasteless stone soup everyone puts in a stone offering nothing