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Funny Poems About Absence or Absence Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Absence poems and/or funny poems about Absence. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Absence funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Absence Poems.

Poem Details | by Whit Deschner |
Categories: 12th grade, absence, funny, heartbroken, humorous, lost love, love,

Untidled

Caught in emotion
She went down to the ocean
To where the cliffs are extremely steep
And there she wept
Then finally lept
At a place called 'Lover's Leap'

But while doing here pouting
The tide took to outing
And now the tour guides to show
Where lost love and gravity
Made a large cavity
Far far on the beach below


Poem Details | by PAT Adams |
Categories: absence, confusion, feelings, humorous, word play,

The Hot Brazilian

She said, "It was fun yesterday and hot!"
"I made love with a Brazilian all day!"
Her friend said, "Shut up, I hope you did not!" 
"How many is a Brazilian anyway?"

Poem Details | by brittney lopez |
Categories: absence, age, angel, april, baptism, beautiful, beauty, bible, birth, blue, boat, body, books, boyfriend, bridal shower, flower, for her, forgiveness, freedom, funny, games, garden, girlfriend, goodbye, graduation, poetry, voice, wisdom, women, words, writing, youth,

Skin

You send bolts through my skin 
something I was never to 
accomplish with you, when I 
saw you it's like my heart sank 
to my stomach and I was in 
shock my body still my body 
heavy felt like when I moved I 
was about to fall to my knees 
you make me want to get 
inside my brain pick you up and 
take you out pick you one by 
one like a flower because I do 
love you and love you not.

Poem Details | by Emma Anonymous |
Categories: funny, love,

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Absence makes
the heart grow fonder
to those closer
not those yonder

Poem Details | by Maria Rheza Mae Rubio |
Categories: absence, humor, imagination, irony, silly, sleep, stress,

Sleepyhead

Two windows closing little by little
Brittle materials be blamed for weakness
Buzz might break them off, possibly wiggle
Prolonging the boredom of her highness.
Can’t wait for blackout; freedom can be found
Ironic how simple bliss may come in
Murmur of the wind is an intense sound
This topsy-turvy world causes no grin.
Perhaps her highness craves a sweet winter
Double expectations must not be failed
Melted creation will disappoint her
Still, being anywhere but here is hailed.
That’s it for today; tomorrow again
Just hold on; she’ll close the windows by then.

Poem Details | by A.O. Taner |
Categories: absence, break up, confidence, death, feelings, funny, i am, i love you, inspirational, leaving, loneliness, lost love, love, moving on, psychological, recovery from, relationship, suicide, true love, wife,

End

Only then you're done,
when you end the ending;
leave the closure to others,
that way it's much more fun. 


Poem Details | by Mark J. Halliday |
Categories: absence, childhood, chocolate, death of a friend, humor, political, satire,

Muppet eulogy

Bye Cookie Monster!
Pointlessly martyred by the
Political left.

Poem Details | by jan oskar hansen |
Categories: absence, humorous, retirement,

Fidel Castro

Fidel Castro 
So you do know Fidel Castro? I think I do
that was the name of the mess boy, the one who 
had to do the dirty dishes and clean floors
 “Fy” as he was called was older than me and had
a much better education, and I, as his boss felt his 
contempt being told what to do by an officer of
working class, roots. But I knew as everybody who
read knows, the little man is but a servant for 
the rich, they need someone educated to tell them 
what to do; In Venezuela, Fidel jumped ship he was
not missed and we got another mess-boy 
who could not read or write because the wage he got
could support his family. The downside was I had
no one to argue with  

Poem Details | by Poet Destroyer A |
Categories: absence, abuse, confusion, corruption, funny,

paranormal activity

it's too late to read this poem!

The poem was removed, due to alien activity.

Area 51


By: PD

Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: absence, age, funny, internet, sad,

I think

artificial
intelligence
leads to 
dementia
in
difference -
I 
think

Poem Details | by Hanif Munthali |
Categories: absence, addiction, allusion, cry, funny love, goodbye, lost love,

AT THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

 AT THE MIDLE OF A NIGHT
I wake up to unusual ringtone
I rise to pick up my phone
One eyed half open,
I stretch out my hands down my pillow
I clean my throat ready to say “hallo”

 My right thumb on the screen to slide the green icon
But….there is no message or a missed call
Oh my God, I forgot that I never had you’re new number at all
Because you’re gone- my sweetie
So reluctantly, I have to go back to sleep

Poem Details | by Lambert Adwini-Poku |
Categories: absence, allah, angel, beauty, blessing, career, hilarious,

TROMBONE WITH THE ANGELS

I better take my trombone lessons serious
Not for fun or fame, neither for leisure
A prophesy I wish to help see light from the Bible
“At the judgment day Angels will blow their trumpet
But forgot trombones will also match
The quality of the sound that will blow
I will surely render my service for free
(After all God loves a cheerful giver)
And hope to receive the blessing of salvation
To find my way to the segmentation of the sheep
How lucky I will be. That faithful day,
If the Angels blow their trumpet, I will take out my trombone
And proudly blow my trombone.

If Angel Michael blows his old trumpet,
I will blow my new trombone.

Poem Details | by Muhammad Safa Thajudeen |
Categories: absence, depression, evil, funny love, together,

HEART Vs THOUGHTS

Heart and thoughts like a bull cart,
To walk together straight, 

Behave like an enemy my thoughts, 

Reminding the one did depart,
Pinning my heart!
  





Poem Details | by Raven Tones |
Categories: absence, dark, depression, goodbye, humorous, metaphor, suicide,

Pavement Pancake

Slowly We Are All Falling, 

Some Just Quicker Than Others, 

Some Will Have An Arm To Grab Before Hitting Bottom, 

Some Never Bothered To Pack A Parashute, 

And The Others Are Just Enjoying The Fresh Air On The Way Down, 

Awaiting To Become A Pavement Pancake

If we have a hand to hold us we may never had fallen

And if we had an ear lent someone would have heard cries for help

My parachute is broken, no ever listened, and the held let go of me

Before we, land the only thing left to think is, 

i wonder if anyone has any maple syrup

Poem Details | by Earl Schumacker |
Categories: absence, adventure, crazy, emotions, funny love, inspirational, lost,

Partner-less Sex

Love is stranger with a stranger
Without a partner it is dangerous
With someone in the dark
Imagination wonders are you there
Feeling around there are no walls or floors

No one found about the house might seem bizarre
But what if you were not there
That would be scarier
Partner-less sex is hard work
Without a bed it is ridiculous

Poem Details | by shadab shaikh |
Categories: absence, anger, angst, betrayal, break up, caregiving, funny love,

Dastaan

Jhoot Pe Chal Raha,
Caarvaan... Dastaan...

Ab Joh Mila Hai Mujhe,
Karm Ka... Falsafaa...

Dilon Ki Kharaabi Nahi Kudrat Mein,
Yeh Khel Rachaa... Insaan Ka...

Jayenge Kahaan?
Kise Hai Pata?

Poem Details | by Trevor McLeod |
Categories: absence, confusion, creation, eulogy, fun, funny,

This Poem

This poem has yet to finish.
It's barely past the start.
It hasn't any followers
and isn't yet an art.

The subject is not written:
direction not quite clear.
My reason for it's being
is only what is here.

The length is getting longer
with nothing more to say.
Without a proper ending
it just might run astray.

I'll say my final thoughts
in hopes they'll bring an end.
But really; who'm I kidding,
a sequels 'round the bend.

Poem Details | by Trevor McLeod |
Categories: absence, appreciation, culture, faith, fantasy, kids, giggle,

Leprechaun

The Leprechaun was green they said.
Of course they could be lying.
The fact that one could even be
was doubt where I was trying.

A little man with buckled shoes.
One green at that they say.
I bit my tongue for quite awhile.
My mouth held back at bay.

How could he run away from them
and carry all that gold.
To carry on and click his heels
as one to be that bold.

But if that wasn't all their facts.
A rainbow marked his trail.
To follow it made no more sense
and on there went the tale.

Poem Details | by Gilbert Mapengo-Mwanguku |
Categories: absence, desire, fantasy, funny love, longing,

BEFORE I SEE YOU

By 
Gilbert 
Mapengo 
Mwanguku

I 
imprignate 
my 
mind 
with 
illusions
weighing 
the 
naked 
reality 
of 
imaginations
sipping 
sweet 
spirits 
into 
my 
veins
before 
I 
choke 
in 
this 
black 
smoke
before 
I 
throw 
my 
heart 
in 
a 
burning 
cage
before 
I 
unveil 
the 
true 
colours 
of 
a 
hungry 
lion
do 
not 
let 
me 
fall 
in 
abyss 
of 
stress
leave 
me 
with 
one 
precious 
word 
in 
my 
vocabulary
one 
word 
to 
sail 
me 
through,to 
the 
very 
end
one 
word 
indeed, 
LOVE

Poem Details | by Mary Oliver Rotman |
Categories: absence, betrayal, break up, funny, humor, jealousy,

Minimalist Jilt

(fromThe John Poems)

Then I loved you
Now I don’t
Once I would
Now I won’t

You were here
Now you’re gone
No one left
To mow my lawn

Lock’s been changed
Key’s been hid
Phone’s unplugged
Heart’s up for bid

You were mine
Now you’re hers
On your head
I place a curse

Poem Details | by Travis Klein |
Categories: absence, anti bullying, bereavement, change, destiny, funny, giggle,

The Shellfish

The Shellfish

	The Selfish Shellfish 
Had a pearl inside of its own,
	One day he thought to himself,
“Why can’t I have more pearls to myself”,
	So he went on a 
Search for even more pearls,
	“Looks like my
Neighbor is now sleeping”,
	He knocked on 
The Shell, “Anyone There”,
	The other Shell
Awoke is a somber tone,
	“You want my pearl,
Well climb on in and get it”, 
	The Selfish Shellfish
Did and, then the Larger Shell went, Ah—  Glup.

Travis “Ceijaeh” Klein

Poem Details | by Funom Makama |
Categories: absence, betrayal, break up, funny love, future, grief, lost love,

I was the better Man

His suits and empires made it so swift
from afar all you saw was his mid-rift
with me you were glowing
our future was moving
from his dark pit, you now expect a lift.

Poem Details | by Muhammad Safa Thajudeen |
Categories: absence, death, earth, grave, humorous,

GRAVE

"Grave mistake"

"Grave is not mistake-

Nobody can miss it and everybody to take"



Poem Details | by RANGARAJAN GOPAL |
Categories: absence, anger, funny love, longing,

Looking Back

Looking Back..

True! It happened
At the very first
sight,
Heart to heart
Eye to eye
Ear to ear
Cheek to cheek
Lip to lip
Joy defined...

But now,
Out of sight
Hurt to hurt
Eye for an eye
Ear for swear
Cheeky, more
Cheeky
Lips slip
Joy trampled!

Poem Details | by Heather Rodwell |
Categories: absence, allusion, confusion, dream, drink, humorous, imagery,

Losing Concentration

In the middle of thought,
 A bug appears in my tea
 I watch how it swirls around in circles
 Creating patterns in the liquid,
 Catching the colours
 Of the world around it.

 I look outside To see the reflection
 And find a dove Watching me from the window.

 What was I thinking
 Before I got distracted?

 The dove takes flight And disappears.
 I look in my tea;
 Still as the air.

 No bug to be seen.

 Now what was I thinking?