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Funny Poems About Abuse or Abuse Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Abuse poems and/or funny poems about Abuse. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Abuse funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Abuse Poems.

Poem Details | by SKAT A |
Categories: abuse, funny, husband, me,

BLACK and BLUE

BLACK and BLUE

Today I wonder, 
Wonder why?
You hit me in the eye, 
you made me cry.

My eyes are brown,
Now they're black and blue.
Is that what I get for loving you?

My lips are pink, now they're bloody red.
Is that what I get!!!
Do you wish I were dead?

My teeth are white, 
I just lost three, 
Is that what I get over a little fight? 
 
I see a smile underneath,
I see you leaving with the police.
I finally got rid of you.
I can't believe I waited, 
UNTIL I WAS BLACK AND BLUE.
        
 SK

NOTE: True story, I finally did the right thing and called the cops


Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: abuse, bullying, conflict, humorous,

Bully Me Sure

If you want to bully me, you'd better stand in line
And I'll warn you right up front, it's gonna to take some time
It's really not my fault, cause it's nothing that I do
The way that I attract every loser just like you

Heeee---yaaaaaaa!!!!

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: abuse, anti bullying, flower, funny, garden, hurt, summer,

Sting Bee

I once knew a bee that could sing
It worked for a queen and a king.
But they preferred honey
And paid it no money,
So now it sings backup for Sting.

Poem Details | by Sidney Hall Mad Poet |
Categories: abuse, addiction, art, funny,

Walk Softly


I love the way you walk in your stilettos
The clickety click sound of your heels 
The seductive sway of your hips 
And the luring gaze that appeals

But when you walk softy
That is what I love the best
As your stilettos cover new territories 
Across my bony chest

Oh the view my Soupies the view
Of man’s weakness I do stare
But never trust a woman in stilettos
As your bit lay unattended and bare.

Uhhhhhhhh!


 I am the Mad Poet. For Debbie Guzzi.  (I never enter contests to win.)

Poem Details | by Samuel Lee |
Categories: abuse, addiction, allegory, death, funny, metaphor, water,

To You, Crocodile

The river dragon of crimson streams
Swiftly swimming to bring my end
As I’m standing alone at the silent shore
The beast from this murk suddenly ascends.
Gripping my face in her flawless jaws
The teeth latched efficiently into flesh
Pulling me quickly into the depths
Dragging me into the shallow grave.
Surrounded in filth, drowning in the banks
The apex predator’s grip never relenting
All I can do is break, bleed and decompose
Hoping for some relief in the pending death.
I find some comfort in this prolonged pain,
Because I haven’t felt a thing in ages.    

Poem Details | by SKAT A |
Categories: abuse, animal, bullying, death, funny, humor, imagination, water,

BUNNY

    -Bunny Hole- by:SKAT

hidden muddy home
dirty paws, good boy' good boy!
yummy with carrots :)

----------------------------

  -Unwanted Fluffiness- by:PD

Big Brown Burlap Bag
drop Bunnies down By the Bay
Better off -Blue grave



~SKAT & PD~

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: abuse, bullying, funny, giggle, high school, humor, humorous,

Replacement Teacher

There once was a teacher from Crete
Whose foot size was very petite,
Well her students did plot
And to high school they brought,
Some shoes for some oversized feet.

Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: abuse, bird, dream, horse, humorous,

To Tame a Shrew

TO TAME A SHREW


Tunke Tunke Tunke
I dragged her along and into the trunk
Clunk clunk clunk, 
I hear some screaming from the Tunke

I drove away, in my brand new Lex
Avoiding both grammar and spelling checks
Safely away, I saved the day
Off I am to the road by the bay

Tunke Tunke Tunke
Her crass verse I too stuffed in the trunk
Drunk drunk drunk
How else does one explain a skunk in the trunk?

So by the bay, I opened me trunk
Someone is gonna be going for a dunk
I unloaded the cargo chapter and verse
At the bottom of the lake let’s see her converse

Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: abuse, computer, funny, health, love, social, technology,

on the fancy package it came in

on the fancy package 
it came in
it did not say
that smoking this 
might  be bad for your health --

So
in a dark corner of the room
I lit up my iPhone
smoked it 
and felt
satisfied.

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: abuse, anti bullying, farm, giggle, humor, humorous, silly,

Shorter Farmer

A hungover farmer went one day,
To a blacksmith's shop to buy some hay.
Well dear reader this isn't funny
For you see he had no money,
And so went home less vertebrae.

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: angel, baby, child, child abuse, divorce, giggle, humor,

Nerd Dad

There once was a child with a rattle
Who liked to crawl around cattle.
Til its mom found out
And to her ex did shout,
You just lost your custody battle.

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: abuse, bullying, culture, humor,

A question of value

They do dirty jobs without fuss
And bring to our culture a plus
We claim they're unfit
And upon them some spit
Yet illegals are better than us


Author's note: It's ironic that the people who promote family values would deport the parents of US citizens (children born in the US to alien parents). 

Poem Details | by Jack Clark |
Categories: abuse, corruption, environment, humor, humorous, political,

Fracked

The “Bad Witch of Oz” lost her throne
They weren’t gonna’ leave her alone
… the water was Fracked
… it’s how she got whacked
But … how many others aren’t known!


Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: animals, funny, giggle,

Abuse of Soul Power

Look at those humans staring below
They laugh at us, but what do they know
     The “intellectual” beast
     On greed and judgment will feast
They gaze at us and think WE are slow

We stare back and know they are the fools
We follow a better set of rules
     As we hang from nature’s vines
     We just giggle at their whines
They fail to use their soul-power tools


*Written in honor of John Freeman and his "Limericks Hilarious" contest.

Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: abuse, humorous, night, people, sleep, sound,

It's a snap

It's also a snap
to break someone's nap.

Volodymyr Knyr 
2014

Poem Details | by Poet Destroyer A |
Categories: absence, abuse, confusion, corruption, funny,

paranormal activity

it's too late to read this poem!

The poem was removed, due to alien activity.

Area 51


By: PD

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: abuse, funny, hilarious, humor, silly,

Castor Oil

Castor oil makes me boil said my neighbor Jim
All day long I can drink it this is not a whim.
As long as FDA deems fit
And my liver does not quit,
Alas dear reader for you see we buried him.

Poem Details | by Verlena S. Walker |
Categories: abuse, addiction, conflict, confusion, crazy, for her, funny love,

FROWNS

Must I be strong when you are weak? If I am not, does this justify your beatings? It would seem that the clouds would recede. A smile upon my face all would see. Volatile I deny. The antagonistic world is outside. In a world of iniquity, you are fighting self; therefore, no anti-emotions I let possess. I just have to take good care of self and I shall receive the victory. Note my mind is. Notice my body is not. Not you nor me can love any harder. No, I want space. Know I want you out of my face.

Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: abuse, conflict, family, humorous, husband, sports, wife,

A punchbag

Against a wife, a punchbag's just a dream!
While being punched it almost does not scream.

Volodymyr Knyr
2014

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: abuse, anti bullying, bullying, england, humor, humorous, political,

What a Guy

Imagine what a nasty joke
If Parliament went up in smoke.
Someone sneaks a bottle rocket
To light inside a watchman's pocket,
Shame Guy Fawkes you silly bloke.

Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: abuse, environment, funny, growth, life,

Castles in my sink

I like Arthur 
stack my dishes 
high in mounds of glass and steel 
like castles in the sink they rise
until the very top 
when wet they slip  
to their and my demise

Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: abuse, cry, horror, humorous, men, people, women,

Racketeers and tears

Some rich men are bored to tears 
with visiting racketeers.

Volodymyr Knyr
2014

Poem Details | by Rex McCoy |
Categories: abuse, addiction, humor,

On Frozen Pond

~~~
So icy blue and windy too, the pub looms across the lake
One step forward three steps back, this nettlesome path forsake
~
So...Climbing upon the greenhouse roof, my drunken shortcut making
The glass beneath me shattering proof, of every step I'm taking
~
I cut my knees, I scrape my shins, my pants a ragged mess
A few more steps, I'll be across this frozen pond, I guess
~
A mighty crash, without a splash, the ice gives way too soon
My belt hangs up upon a nail, I dangle above the room
~
I wave my arms, I kick my legs
Hey!
There's people under water!
and I'm not even soaking wet, except I relieved my bladder
~~~

Poem Details | by Erik Spector |
Categories: abuse, humor,

Stated in English Parliament - from E A Poe

"Much I marveled this ungainly Foul to hear discourse so plainly
Though its answer little meaning;
Bereft of all that I adore."
Further sitting there in English parliament I wondered
What this monstrous Panting "mother"
Meant.

Poem Details | by derrick foster |
Categories: abuse, analogy, conflict, dark, fear, humor, sleep,

Alarm Clock in Jurassic Park

Roar of a snore
Heard it before
Intense urge to wiz
Felt the call that is
Awake too soon
So far from noon
Early to rise
A primal surprise
An annoying jolt
Stampeding down Jurassic Park
Up all night, pitch black dark
Toss and turn
Oil to burn
Seething at the snort
Restful slumber to abort
No excuse for this abuse
Ring the alarm, light a fuse
Snored awake, sleep do shake
Awful Fright, this late night
Pitch black dark
Jurassic Park