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Funny Poems About America or America Funny Poems

Humorous and funny America poems and/or funny poems about America. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious America funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other America Poems.

Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: america, anti bullying, art, discrimination, forgiveness, humanity, humorous,

Number 2

Impressive
Vice presidential

Walking on lily pads
Sinking within illusions

Snow drops bloom
Wisdom is waking

Darkness fades
Light pervades

We all seek to be one
Destiny sometimes makes us number two

Quite the topic to contemplate
As I wander off to the loo


Notes
As they say a pence for your thoughts
Amazing how see end up right where they belong!


Poem Details | by Timothy Hicks |
Categories: america, education, england, fun, funny, homework, nonsense,

Concerning Math and How To Say It

The British call it maths,
but the Americans ditch the s
causing much international scorn.
But for our sake, p'raps it'd be best
to keep subjects
only halfway grasped
in the singular form.

Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: america, art, humor, international, patriotic, peace, poetry,

The American Dream

The beauty of the dream
Even fools are allowed in
Misinformed and crawling on narrow stony roads
Yet in this land anything goes
We all have the right to our opinions and views
Apparently even old fools
One day soon
Guns will be taken
So that freedoms truly rule
As the clowns dance
One day
Poets shall rule

Remember this! Obama was no fool!

Poem Details | by PAT Adams |
Categories: age, america, humor, husband, old,

Police Report

She told the police, Please help me
My husband is missing you see
First he was there, then he was gone
And I don't know where he could be

The police seemed concerned and said,
Describe this man that's not around
If we don't have a description
We fear he may never be found

He has a patch over one eye
The one that he lost in the war
He  wears a small hat on his head
That doesn't have hair anymore

He lost a finger sawing wood
And a toe when mowing the lawn
I guess he was mostly missing
before he was even gone!

Poem Details | by Sandison Jumbo |
Categories: america, humor, political,

Thumping Hilary

Thumping Hilary

Hillary had thought trash of Donald Trump
And prayed him, that America should dump
She spent time on the jabber
That he was a ‘Pee’ grabber
The election came; Trump gave her a thump!

July 4, 2017


Poem Details | by John Michaels |
Categories: america, beauty, culture, humorous, political, satire, society,

Model Behaviour

Catwalks
Crowd gawks

Wont style
Forced smile

Strike pose
Fake nose

Weird strut
Flat butt

Scant curves
Unnerves

Small-hipped
Lunch skipped

Stick-thin
Chagrin

Faux tan
Pecan

Plucked brow
Used plough?

Long lash
Bleached 'tache

Plump lips
Veiled nips

Waxed mound
Astound

Forebear
Despair

Sweet girls
Morph churls

Sly pout
Grim trout

Taut thighs
All lies

Make hot
Post-shot

Airbrushed
Not hushed

Mere gaud
Defraud

Model?
Twaddle!

- - - - - - - - - -

25 November 2017

For the "Footle Form - Sequenced or Stand-Alone" contest, sponsored by Brian Strand.

Poem Details | by Ralph Sergi |
Categories: america, humorous,

No Bordeaux

There once was a young man from Turkey
Whose food tastes were known to be quirky
On braised lamb with Bordeaux
He had quickly said no
And asked if they had some Beef Jerky

 Contest   Poet Destroyer A  October 8, 2015

Poem Details | by Milan Georges Burovac |
Categories: addiction, adventure, america, desire, funny love, i love you, paris,

Paris forever

choose this sun
you will have the body
I will be your skin

your city elsewhere
Paris I tell to him

here with me
Paris forever

us - bread and wine
us - street and air

Paris our love

Poem Details | by Rico Leffanta |
Categories: america, confusion, funny, history, language, spoken word, woman,

The Boston Tea Party - 1773

An ancestor known as, "Miss Lottie"
Was a New York socialite "hottie"
To her lasting disgrace
She slapped Paul Revere's face
When he invited her to the p-ah-ty

Poem Details | by Mark Martin |
Categories: america, baseball, funny, hilarious, humor, humorous, sports,

Baseball haikus - a Brit's perspective

Diamond battleground
Collector's card currency
Hero factory

Little league conscripts
Vocal parental advice
Therapist's profits

Score report passion
Batting statistics frenzy
Relive by numbers

Glossary nightmare
Commentator's lexicon
Head scratching jargon

World series warfare
Stadium armageddon
Sponsorship looting

Counterfeit rounders?
Diplomatic incident!
Sanctions on cricket!



Entry to "the national pastime" contest

Written 12th February 2017

Notes: "Rounders" is a game played in both the UK and Ireland with similar rules to baseball https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rounders


Poem Details | by Michelle Born |
Categories: america, blessing, color, cool, feelings, humor, life,

My Teletubbies


Why do I enjoy and love my Teletubbies

They are colorful and cute most of all very chubby,

I was hooked the moment I laid eyes on their loveable faces

People laugh at me because some times I take them to different places,

I don't care how other people feel about them they make me happy and that's the way it is

So as time goes by I love them more and more so that is my biz,

The moral to the story is if you like something and no one else agrees

Then just look at them and say; this is just me.

Written By: Unique Poetry 2015




Poem Details | by Andrew Loud |
Categories: america, appreciation, birthday, food, funny,

Happy Birthday Fat Man

In the many long years since your birth
You've made twenty eight laps with the earth
In that time you've taken
Your fair share of bacon
And thus greatly increased in your girth

Poem Details | by J-Mag Guthrie |
Categories: america, humor, humorous, immigration, space, word play,

Aliens

The alien saucer fell hard.
It landed right there in my yard.
    I'd give them jobs mowing
    or cooking and sewing
but none of them has a Green Card.

Poem Details | by Reynard Blake Jr |
Categories: america, humor, irony, music, people, political, satire, woman,

Governor Brewer From Arizona

Governor Brewer From Arizona 
(song parody based on “Girl From Impanema”)

Short, tanned, governor of A-Z
Wagged finger at the commander-and-chief
That was so tasteless
And very racist
So odd!

Brewer dissed Barack Obama
And said Obama was threatening
Guards should have grabbed her
And teach her manners
By far!

Oh – is he really so thin-skinned?
Oh – don’t she know he’s a gangster?
He – killed Bin Laden with SEAL teams

Then he rescued folks from Somalis
He likes guns and diplomacy

Short, tanned, governor of A-Z
Racial profiling is so ungodly
Tell me what happens
In time
To economies
And brown folks don’t leech
And brown folks don’t leech









Poem Details | by John Pen |
Categories: africa, america, giggle, how i feel, international, people, political,

Man with no morals

Ask me not where, when, why or how
Because if I knew I’d be president now
Wait a minute, presidents don’t know that too
I never said they did, but I have morals. Do you?

Poem Details | by Milan Georges Burovac |
Categories: america, funny love, garden, joy, poetry, woman, world,

Emily Me

a star and always her
constantly the moon in the garden
this wide paradise to me
where I declaim Emily Dickinson
syllable by syllable
to the happiness of the destinies
an eternal love

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: america, humorous, political,

THERE'S AN OLD FART IN THE WHITE HOUSE

I've checked the date it’s not April Fool’s Day - Trump’s President of the U S of A These words to you I impart To me a ‘trump’ is a fart In the White House this old farts gonna stay! 01~21~17

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: america, humorous, political,

DIRTY TRICKS CAMPAIGN

Campaigning must be very laborious For democrat Hilary Clintorious Folks say she’ll oust Donald Trump Enthroned when taking a dump These nasty rumours are so darn spurious! May God Bless America - she sure needs all the help she can get! Thanks to Duke Beaufort for letting me use his line 'Hillary Clintorious' 1st August 2016

Poem Details | by Tom Quigley |
Categories: america, humor, political,

The Biggest Loser

There goes the Donald again, flapping his mouth
Every time he lets it fly, his ratings go South

And she who would be chief Constitutional vandal
The media just glossed over her latest scandal

Truly it’s a contest to see who’s the biggest loser
So put Jillian Michaels in charge; we could really use her

Is he nastier than her, or she worse than him?
Instead of the White House, get their butts to the gym

The true biggest loser, of course, is plain to see
The ordinary Americans like you and me...

8/2/16

Poem Details | by Verlena S. Walker |
Categories: age, america, community, conflict, culture, funny, jealousy,

WELCOME TO THE SOUP

WELCOME TO THE SOUP!
This is Poetry Diva. I know when I am being cheated. Between first and fifth place my poems define. If not, I have not follow the syllable count. However, in rhyme, couplet, free verse, etcetera, I am never an underdog. Therefore, why do I enter contests when I know it favoritism on the Soup y’all? Well, a true Poet or Poetess, as prior stated, never lose. Welcome to the SOUP! _____________________| PENNED ON AUGUST 27, 2014!

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: america, future, humorous,

GOD SAVE AMERICA

In 2020 Kayne West says he plans to run for President Oh heaven help you all Kim Kardashian for first lady I wonder…. Will her first request be To pain the White House… PINK God Bless America 31st August 2015

Poem Details | by JJ Hammer |
Categories: america, destiny, funny, humorous, political, society, usa,

Trump Trump Trump

Congratulations to Donald Trump
Who gave Hillary Clinton the dump
She looked as clueless as Forest Gump
As voters saw her as Obama's chump

Election night went bump bump, bump
Republicans began to jump, jump, jump
Democrats now in a slump, slump, slump
Their throats feeling a lump, lump, lump

Supporters of Donald shaking their rumps
From women who are pleasingly plump
To the proud soldier revealing his stump
Nary a reveler with the face of a grump

He managed to get over a critical hump
Speaking about women he wanted to pump
Turn up the volume, listen to the thump
Of our 45th president, Donald Trump


                John j jr

Poem Details | by Thomas Martin |
Categories: america, angst, autumn, humorous, night,

Lake Ontario

urban noise. . .
2000 mile drive
to Lake Ontario
dreamless sleep in tent
till generators charge

Poem Details | by Vella Taliare |
Categories: america, funny, metaphor, political, presidents day, symbolism, usa,

Rotten Orange

There’s this
Rotten orange smell
I can’t see the orange, mind you
But it’s somewhere behind
The television screen
I know because
We smell it
We know it is there
Always
I cannot breathe without
Remembering that rotten orange
That hidden somewhere
Moldy fruit
And honestly we were fine before it
We argued over other things and we didn’t
Complain
About fruit
Now I can’t watch tv
Without screwing up my nose
Or gagging at the smell
Without complaint after complaint
Because there’s nothing I can do
And no one knows how he got there
Too far out of reach
And it smells
So
Bad

Poem Details | by Toquyen Harrell |
Categories: america, beautiful, celebration, humor,

Have a happy Fourth you all

Hey you all
Have a happy Fourth
Don’t be doing something stupid
Like burning your fingers
You gotta throw it
Ahh those fireworks aren’t meant for you
You are too chicken
Go see the fireworks instead
Or better yet make some fireworks
But you can do that later
Just for now go stuff yourself
Ahh those chicken wings look pretty good
And those pretty hamburgers
Good enough to eat
Ah what about those ribs
They look so tasty
Don’t eat too much
You are gonna get fat
And no one will recognize you
Spend a little time with your family
To make sure they will still remember you
You’ve been away so long
Working and all
Now a little down time
Enjoy yourself, will ya