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Funny Poems About Anxiety or Anxiety Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Anxiety poems and/or funny poems about Anxiety. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Anxiety funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Anxiety Poems.

Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: angst, anxiety, art, friendship, humorous, imagery,

Friends

They love you
When you defend them
They run
When you need a helping hand

Real ones are there in total silence
Called the silent ones
To massage the pain
Inside
Of a wounded soul
They were there long ago
They are there now in the snow
Holding hands
Never letting go
Friends

Wiping tears
Striking fears
Praying for good cheer
Please me lord
Serve me one more beer





Poem Details | by David Brown |
Categories: anxiety, dark, depression, humor, image,

Viral

Thoughts 
    and 
  feelings
 on a 
   downward 
 spiral,
now 
  that's 
what's 
  truly, 
   going 
viral

Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: anxiety, funny, hilarious, humor, leadership, perspective,

Facebook Conversation

Hi!
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	Like
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	H5
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Like	
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Click like
Like	
	like
Love
	Sad
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	love
brb
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Click 
 Thumbs up
	Love
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click click click click click
Replaces battery on mouse
LOL
	Like Smiley
Ohh
	LOL click
Reply		like
Click
	ROFL
click  smiley
Like 	wow
Smiley
	LOL
like
Click
Bye
	like bye
final click

Poem Details | by cheryl hoffman |
Categories: anxiety, death, humor, money,

Death and Taxes

Now that I'm dead I can finally relax,
worry free of April 15th and filing my income tax.




3-22-17


Poem Details | by Michael Wise |
Categories: anxiety, conflict, humor,

The Valley of Indecision

Lost in the valley of indecision
Forever caught between here and there
My mind is divided, my soul is torn
And monstrous phantoms are everywhere

There's neither light, nor is there darkness
Here in this barren oasis of grey
Trapped somewhere in between questions and answers
Groping and grasping to find my way

I'll lose my mind if I go on performing
This balancing act between madness and death
A stand is needed for yea or for nay
Or else very soon I may draw my last breath

Deciding that I cannot make a decision
Embracing the madness instead of this yoke
The phantoms encroaching, I suddenly jumped up
And out of this horrible nightmare I woke



© Mike Wise
9/17/14

Poem Details | by Kim Merryman |
Categories: anxiety, funny, sick,

Oh Me, Oh My

Oh me! Oh my!
I think I'm going to die!
I bumped my head,
I'll soon be dead!
Oh me, oh me, oh my!

Oh dear! Oh dear!
I know my end is near!
I coughed, I sneezed,
and then I wheezed!
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

What's that you say?
I'm going to be okay?
You haven't heard
a single word.
I'm at death's door today!

(This is a parody of someone I know who gets overly dramatic
when she doesn't feel well)
6/16/15

Poem Details | by Robert Candler |
Categories: age, anxiety, celebrity, culture, giggle, growing up, hyperbole,

Adolescent Lamentations

Headline: "Bieber jailed."
And you tell me there's a God?
I won't sleep. Will you?

Poem Details | by Peter Lewis Holmes |
Categories: anxiety, funny, humorous,

An Intimate Itch

A certain itch it’s like no other,
descending as Vesuvious burning 
tyre, a nuee ardente of fire

Manouver all you will, to no
sweet avail; it’s your hand
that’s needed, no matter what 
audience papers the house	

Yes, a magazine or folded coat
can often shield the work required,  
but please, no sighs or muted 
cries desired

Then good performance must
transpire, to shift the well-placed 
hand from view

And when the fire is doused, as such, 
and all one’s thoughts removed from 	
crotch 

Reflect on how you saved the day,
with folded coat on nuts in May



Poem Details | by Timothy Hicks |
Categories: anxiety, bereavement, courage, fear, humor, loneliness, nature,

Is Humanity That Bad

"Is humanity that bad?" pondered the lighthouse keeper, frightened with the sea




Written March 27th, 2016
For the See or Feel Contest Hosted by Poet Destroyer

Placed 2nd

Poem Details | by Diane Lefebvre |
Categories: anxiety, death, evil, grave, humor,

Fearful Things

I walked on by a graveyard, very late, alone one night.
No ghosts sprung from their moldy graves: no evil ghoulish sights.

It seemed no vampires lurked about, to sip my blood like wine.
And any hulking werewolves must have previously dined.

I watched in vain for zombies, with their gruesome, bloody stares.
But they seemed to be as plentiful, as wayward teddy bears.

Yet, I would duck behind a tree, on guard quite through and through,
At every car that passed me by . . transporting who knows who?

While I recalled what mother said, no doubt with some misgiving:
It’s not the dead you have to fear . . but watch out for the living!


© 2015 Diane Lefebvre

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: anxiety, humor, psychological, stress,

Newsing And Boozing

There's a virus going around
And people getting sick
Some are even dying 
From a germ, that they can't kick

There's an asteroid, it's flying
on it's undetected path
Aiming for the earth
To just unleash its wrath


chorus
There's a million things they tell you,
design to cause you fear
So, just relax and have another beer


There are terrorist, they say, came home to roost  
Others over seas are busy buying Nukes
The end of the world, could be happening today
If it isn't now, it's likely on it's way

chorus 
There's a million things they tell you,
design to cause you fear 
So, just relax and have another beer 


Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: allusion, anxiety, dedication, humorous, inspiration, passion, psychological,

My Plan

This Is My Plan

Now that things are quiet
Heavy hitters hanging low
It's time to post my bestest poems
And let my talent show

I see Deb, Lin and Andrea 
Are keeping kinda still
So,I might make it up that list
Where I can show my skill

My eye is on those top three spots
But, before I reach my goal
I'll have to go through Ninty-seven
Poets in a row

But seeing no one, is around
I don't know how I'll miss
To get my poem on the Top
Of The Hundred All-Time List



Poem Details | by Solomon Ochwo-Oburu |
Categories: anxiety, beauty, emotions, first love, funny love, girlfriend, imagery,

Your sweet face


Eva’s daughter, listen
Remove the blanket
Of dark and angry clouds 
That covers your sweet face
Let the sun shine on your face
And let Adam’s handsome son
Harvest your delicious smiles
From your sweet face
That kills, kills the souls
Of many
With sweetness
And wild imagination


Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: adventure, allusion, anxiety, humor, money, nonsense, visionary,

***** Rich

Going To Market


I'm joining up with Trade King
Cause I'm sick of being poor
I'm sure I'll make a fortune with some luck

Then I won't have to worry
When that doe comes rolling in
And have more, than these two lousy bucks

Of course I'll need some cash
If I'm going to invest
So, it might take some time, to get rich

So, for now I'll take my two bucks 
And bet it on a nag
Or down at the dog track, on a *****


Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: adventure, anxiety, courage, for him, humor, husband, soulmate,

There I've said it

Ah, there's something I must tell you
and although I know it's late
I simply have to say it
'Cause, I don't think it can wait
I know you're sitting there
In the dark and all alone
Know I'ld rather, it in person 
Than like this, on the phone
But the distance in-between us
And the years that passed us by
Have shown a light upon this subject
And exposed an awful lie
So when you see me, I'll be different 
Don't be mad, and please don't cry
I'll always be your loving wife
Although, I've changed into a  guy


Poem Details | by Gary Bovett |
Categories: humorous,

Performance Anxiety

I may be no linguistic superstar
 Or bachelor,master, doctor of languages
 But i'll have you know
 I've performed my works on many occasions
 To cats, dogs, trees and miscellaneous flora
 All of whom showed quiet
 Appreciation
 And genuine interest 
In what I had to say
 
I have shouted rhymes and
 Metaphors
 At the top of my voice
 To the inside of my house
 While every piece of furniture
 Sat motionless in awe
 Rehearsed countless conversations
 Loudly
 While riding bicycle
 Through quiet spectacular landscapes
 Magnificent mountains
 Stood high in silence
 Listening to every word
 Offering quiet encouragement

Poem Details | by Katherine Braithwaite |
Categories: anxiety, art, humor, humorous, hyperbole,

The black cat


The sky  is stark, the air is cool and still
The black cat’s  run, the birds unfold all day
I sit  down here and with my totty pray
Ye cast o’ foolish thoughts, you raped my will.
We’ve  each enraged the bureaucratic mill.
Oh frigid purse, I never meant to pay!
The sky ‘s  a-spark, the air is warm and shrill
The saturnine demoted  knelled their way
With this feathered pounce, my sample quill,
I  cite the cheque and date it for next May.
Oh, tit for cat, the tiger’s  bed ‘s astray.
Yer  life is settled by  a  harlot’s will
The sky ‘s a shark, the air is sharper still.

Poem Details | by David Smith |
Categories: anxiety, beautiful, education, father daughter, growing up, horror, humor,

Hopes for my daughters

I have two daughters beautiful and smart,
I knew that from the start.

Equality with men
I know is important to them.

I just hope they are not in a hurry
To marry.

As I don't know many men who can be 
Right 50 percent of the time like me.

And if they by chance marry some swine,
Will they have to share their jail time.

Poem Details | by Michael Wegman |
Categories: anxiety, appreciation, conflict, courage, culture, dedication, funny,

Sour Grapes

The teen’s face beamed with pride in his new car,
But Bestie exploded in jealous rage.
His reluctant congrats, a lame sidebar;
“I’d simply rather walk”— framed his outrage.

On Friday she failed the entrance exam,
Going to college, now holds no desire,
Higher education—a real flimflam,
she declared, all she’d felt now a fool’s pyre.

Excuses shirk blame—we can all decry,
Winning is fun, but losing kills yearning;
Life isn’t perfect—things do go awry,
But disparagement isn't good learning!

Be strong and just—suck it up when you lose.
Raisins are just sour grapes—with a bruise.


August 19, 2018

Poem Details | by jill spagnola |
Categories: anxiety, children, kids, funny, humorous,

Funny Kids, Daze

                             
                                               ^
Kids Funny (Senryu – Style) Daze

Waking state affects my day
Riding my bike to the rack`
I lock it safely at school

Sit with my clique
Tummy does a flip
Study Hall, yay a rest for my head

I look down clutching my teddy bear
Drooling on my desk in only my underwear!

Morning alarm buzzes~
BEEP!








									Sunshine Williams

Team PoetrySoup

Funny Kids Poem contest


10/13/2015

Poem Details | by Ray Gridley |
Categories: anxiety, humor,

Anxiety, I Don't Like Heights

I don't like heights, I get the frights
When I stand upon a ramp.
And they call me chicken
When I get giddy licking
A standard airmail stamp.

There's no variety to my anxiety
I can't wear high heeled boots
And I hope your intention
Is never to mention
Those dizzy fairground chutes.

Don't show me a ladder, I've got a weak bladder.
Hot air balloons aren't cool.
Let me thank the Lord
Who must have been bored
When he made me 4 foot small.

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: anxiety,

The Funny Farm



I'm really an adult though my lims don't show it Why should I grow up, it's more fun to emit Words like ga ga and goo goo Or poopy and doo doo Run when the funny farm wants me to commit

Poem Details | by cheryl hoffman |
Categories: anxiety, humor, prayer,

Raining Cats and Dogs

This past week it was raining cats and dogs,
prayed about it to not get so annoyed,
one car totaled other in infirmary,
husband tomorrow having triple bypass surgery,
Meow, Arf, Splat go land some more in the bog.

Poem Details | by David O'Haolin Whalen |
Categories: anxiety, funny love, marriage,

Of Course Not

Honey, did you fake it last night?… “Of course not, I Really was asleep!”

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: anxiety, england, flying, funny, humor, humorous, london,

Flying Dutchman

There once was a pilot from London
Who at takeoffs ate a big onion.
Whenever he'd speak
The flight crews would freak,
So now he just drinks a tall bourbon.