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Funny Poems About Baby or Baby Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Baby poems and/or funny poems about Baby. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Baby funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Baby Poems.

Poem Details | by Darlene Gifford |
Categories: baby, humor,

My little Chocolate Mess

Bathwater and bubbles are waiting,
but my child is nowhere near.
Yet, I can see from cookie crumbs,
he's crawled from here to there.

Oh, yes! he's been in the kitchen.
I see his crooked crumb trail,
which leads to our white kitten,
with a chocolate, sticky tail!

In every room I search
for my little chocolate mess.
Then, I find him in the my bedroom,
with his hands on my new dress!


Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: funny

Raccoon's Baby Sittin' Service




Mrs. Cat, I'm bringing back your kitten
I'm completely done with baby sittin'
She cried all day
Not worth the pay
And , so sorry, we couldn't find her mitten



For the "Tell Me About It " contest

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: baby, body, humorous,

POOR WEE MAN

My unfortunate uncle named Rick Was endowed with a very small wick But he was still quite able To impregnate aunt Mable Who gave birth to a son they called Dick 2nd April 2017

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: baby, children, kids, humor,

Toddler Tea

I thought I’d invite toddlers for tea, 
so my own would stay out of my hair.
They would sit and sip so daintily, 
Follow rules, and play games so fair.
Smile ever sweet, use the word please
 Say thank you, ma’am, and stay on their chairs.
Be careful with my fine china, says me.
They laugh, they snort, and they wiggle like hares.
They dive off the couch, with giggles of glee.
They land heaped together, gulping in air.
Chairs in a pile at the bottom of the stairs,
Everything in sight has been licked by Lee, 
Chairs in a heap at the bottom of stairs,
Strange things are happening, how can this be?
I think I have been invaded by bears!


Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: baby, grandchild, grandmother, grandparents, humor, humorous, relationship,

She was Born with Cat Ears

She was born with cat ears.
So cute! Everyone lied.
Some of us felt them.
They were striped, and furry.
Odd for a human head.
Gray, pink in the middle.
“Adorable!” some of us said.
“Can they be removed?” the new grandmother asked.
Making her daughter-in-law her enemy for life.


Poem Details | by James Edward Lee Sr. |
Categories: adventure, anxiety, caregiving, engagement, funny love, grandmother, grandson,

AFFECTED ART BABY SITTER-

Flickered fingers; Can't dial ringers; Telephone calls; Babies cry and crawls; what do you do? what do you do? When their diapers fall?...
6/8/20 written words by James Edward Lee Sr.©2020

Poem Details | by Anthony Scandrick II |
Categories: anniversary, baby, beautiful, beauty, caregiving, child, childhood, confusion, courage, dark, dedication, depression, devotion, freedom, goodbye, graduation, growing up, happiness, hope, humorous, lonely, lost love, love, mystery, passion, satire, slam, sorrow, sorry, success, suicide, teen, thank you, uplifting, write,

Dear Michelle

You almost had me,
I wanted you,
The way you stuck to me like super glue,
I was feeling you,
But I knew,
I could never have you,
But, the way you looked at me,
The way my body pleads,
We can never be,
Because I’m too old,
And your only thirteen.

Poem Details | by Richard Palmer |
Categories: childhood, funny,

Gugu,Gaga,Baby Talk

Huggies pull ups,size 6 to 10 months,
Crawling around, had a sudden attack,
High quality,Huggies air lock,
Bubu,bubu,back again Mr Mention,
Mummy told grandma you were overseas,
Gaga,gaga,gaga but auntie told Tony,
You got a 3 months sentence,
Dudu,dudu,pampas need changing, 
Baby wipes,dada,dada,dada,
Get rid of this strange thing,
Here comes mom,baby start smiling,
Mama,mama,mama,mama start working,
Giggle,giggle,dirty pampas off,
Uhgu,ughu,ughu,baby oil wiping,
Hands raise to heaven,new pampas on,
Tee,tee,tee,a bottle,a few gentle rocks,
Twep,twep,finger in mouth,both eyes locked,
One last sentence,bugu,lugu,bugu,
Later,gonna take a nap....

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: baby, humorous, marriage,

CALL THE MIDWIFE

The vicar surveyed her wide girth Was scared that in church she’d give birth He raised his eyebrows Then rushed through their vows ... He wasn’t adept at childbirth! Inspired by the poem ‘Decision Needed’ by Maurice Rigoler 13TH April 2016

Poem Details | by KP Nunez |
Categories: baby, funny, humorous,

FIVE FABULOUS FUN FOOTLES

BABY POOPY FOOTLE Cutie Baby Milky Foody Bulky Nappy Smelly Poopy Big eyes Surprise! 09 June 2015 Five Fabulously Funny Footles Contest Sponsor: Jan Allison

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: angel, baby, child, child abuse, divorce, giggle, humor,

Nerd Dad

There once was a child with a rattle
Who liked to crawl around cattle.
Til its mom found out
And to her ex did shout,
You just lost your custody battle.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: baby, body, humorous, woman,

FLOOD WARNING

A gravid young lady named Prue Was bursting to go to the loo She crossed her legs tight With all of her might It’s what pregnant ladies go through! 21st June 2016

Poem Details | by Darlene Gifford |
Categories: baby, brother, funny, pollution,

He's Fully loaded

Stinky-Butt crawls
like a snail and leaves a trail.
My baby brother.




.

Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: funny, baby, baby, candy, me,

Santa Baby

Santa Baby won't you give me some candy tonight
Santa Baby won't you let sit on your lap snuggle 
Up close and kiss goodnight

Santa Baby I need some Christmas lovin' you see
Santa Baby how neat that you came in a box
Spruced up just for me..

Santa Baby won't you give me some candy tonight...
Nite Nite....

In honor of Carolyn..

You know..

Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: funny,

Bend Over Baby

Got referred to a female Urologist
After which I needed a Psychologist
"I'm a licensed physician
Now resume your position!"
Next appointment? Her sister Proctologist

Poem Details | by Just That Archaic Poet |
Categories: baby, fun, horse, humorous, marriage, words,

The Fool

Naught to say I shan't disparage
A cherub in its stroller
Laugh at married horse-drawn carriage: 
Denounce a Holy-Roller!

Point my fingers in their direction,
And have a hearty chuckle!
In Truth it is my own reflection-
One which leaves me puzzled...

No one should suffer ridicule,
By the words bled from my tongue...
But in the end, I am the Fool
Who should never make the fun!

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: fun, funny, silly, mum,

Why There's No Baby Planes

On a flight to Auckland one day A mother over hearing her son say Cats and Dogs can have babies Can planes do that maybe Ask the attendant, see what she says So off to the attendant he asks Is it possible that planes do this task Did your mother tell you To ask me if it's true Tell her to tell and not mask As the little boy was walking away Following him the attendant did say No baby planes you will find Qantas pulls out on time Ask mum to explain this today . Written about a Joke I heard ;-)

Poem Details | by BL DEVNATH |
Categories: funny, sweet,

SWEET JELLY BABY




                                              sweet jelly baby 
                                        never dances but allures 
                                      tongue dances while tastes

                                       sometimes seen with cap
                                      they are colorfully dressed
                                         just needs few pennies


Note: Jelly baby is a flavoured candy or sweet.

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny, age, age,

Baby Gaga of Verse

Since the time I was wearing a bib,
I was wise to the guys. That’s no fib!
“Hey, Baby,” I’d say,
“Come on over and play.
You just meet me tonight in my crib!”

And while most kids were learning to poo,
I was thinking up poems by age two.
I could coo a sweet verse
With no need to rehearse
Saying things like, “I’m gaga for you.”

I was writing my lines by age three
And creating sublime poetry.
First boys and then men
I caught with my pen.
LADY Gaga of verse now: that’s me!

For Susan Burch's
Ridiculous Self Exaggerations Poetry Contest

And now for PD's anything Goes!!!




Poem Details | by Paul Schneiter |
Categories: baby, humor,

Affronted

CEO Andrew Sykes took a social crash dive
he asked a clerk when her baby would arrive.
"I'm not pregnant!" she exclaimed
her face was red and inflamed.
'Tis a miracle he fled her presence alive.

Poem Details | by Nitesh Aggarwal |
Categories: childhood, children, funny,

My baby dreams.

There once was a dream in my sleep
I was out in the fields with my sheep
I wanted to pee
Let it out with glee
I woke up with in a puddle in my keep.

Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: children, funny,

Messy Baby

Youngin Greg found an egg
Struck it with his mummy's peg,
Only taking one baby stroke
Out came the gooey yolk
Running down his leg.

Poem Details | by DrJim Martin |
Categories: baby, funny,

Mother-To-Be

Mother-To-Be
Dr. James E. Martin
©May, 2013

A mother-to-be was she.
She was happy as she could be.
A new baby boy,
Would bring her much joy,
If only she weren’t seventy three.

Poem Details | by Jaquay Atkins |
Categories: addiction, anniversary, anxiety, art, baby, beautiful, beauty, blessing, boyfriend, class, confidence, conflict, desire, destiny, devotion, education, environment, faith, fantasy, fate, feelings, for her, fun, funny love, future, giggle, girlfriend, happiness, heart, heaven, life, light, loneliness, lonely, lost, lust, magic, strength, stress, sweet love, symbolism,

I Love You

Often, I have uttered these words to myself
Your feminity has entranced my manhood
My vision is focused on your subject matter 
A quick study of a woman's psychology 
I feel you with my mind, and touch you with my eyes
Senses are heightened in your very presence 
Soon, I will utter the ultimate words of encouragement 
Constant admiration for your hidden strengths 
Instant chemistry between us has changed our biology 
Soon, I will hold you tight and recite the following;
Baby, I love you

Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: humorous, baby, baby,

Limerick: Once a Baby found in a bucket

Limerick : Once a Baby found in a bucket

Once a Baby found in a bucket
Grew up to be tough as a biscuit
She took a desert trip
Sahara took a flip
(Some people take her/me for a nitwit)
That’s why biscuits taste sandy when bit.

© T. Wignesan – Paris,  2013