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Funny Poems About Beach or Beach Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Beach poems and/or funny poems about Beach. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Beach funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Beach Poems.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: beach, humorous,

BEACH FOOTLES COLLABORATION

Hot sun What fun Soft sand How grand Blue sea For me High tide Surf side Beach babe In shade Undress Top less No finds Tan lines Swim suit… pursuit He sports Tight shorts Romance? No chance Jan Allison Casarah Nance 1st December 2014


Poem Details | by A.O. Taner |
Categories: august, beach, beautiful, cool, crush, deep, destiny, devotion, fantasy, feelings, first love, fishing, freedom, funny love, future, girlfriend, hope, i love you, i miss you, journey, joy, judgement, lost love, love, love hurts, meaningful, miracle, ocean, people, places, romance, sea, sensual, simple, spiritual, water, women, world,

Hope

Don't rush to wash off the sea salt 
drying on your skin;
the hopes it carries from other oceans,
those remain yet to be seen.

Poem Details | by KP Nunez |
Categories: funny, humorous,

THE ADVENTURES OF JIM THE TRIM-AT THE BEACH

On this tropical beach, one hot summer day
Jim the Trim came, his bod to display
Been workin’ out day and night
Made the girls' eyes burn bright
Next, he's running from muscles that sashay





KIM PATRICE NUNEZ
10 April 2015

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: beach, fantasy, humorous, woman,

THE MYTHICAL FISHER WOMAN - INSPIRED BY CONTEST

I encountered her on a dark stormy night Her huge trout like lips were a scary sight Strands of white spittle formed on angry lips huge folds of fat spilled over her wobbly hips With scaly grey skin and blood red eyes and legs so fat they chafed her thighs Hair tangled and matted like limp seaweed She reeked like a fish of an ancient breed Reaching out for me with her claw like nails Slime dripped from her hands like rancid snails I tossed her a coin and hurried on my way She’s not been seen since that stormy day 03-28~17

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: beach, body, humorous,

HE HAD TO WEAR A FIG LEAF AT THE NUDIST COLONY

Dinky Winky 11-22-17

Poem Details | by scott thirtyseven |
Categories: beach, garden, humorous, nature,

places I've peed haiku series

1
Sun glints off ripples
Play of light in sheltered cove
Scenic lavatory

2
Backyard full of stars
Footsteps crack on frozen grass
Moonlit lavatory

3
Forested mountain side
Above twisting single track
Rider’s lavatory

4
Over arid land
Falling rain evaporates
Hot Aussie dunny

5
Sandy beach stretches
Tropical coral waters
Pristine lavatory

6
Beneath St. Paul’s dome
Lies manicured garden
Monumental lav.

Poem Details | by Donna Jones |
Categories: beach, humorous,

Picnics and Sand

Now I know that beach side picnics and sand
No matter how careful the planning go hand in hand
But it seems whether you sit or whether you stand
Nothing quite goes as you had planned

It doesn't really care where it goes
And I don't just mean between your toes
In your eyes and up your nose
And it doesn't smell like a bleeping rose!

In my shoes and down my shorts
I believe with demons this stuff consorts
To going naked I might resort
And I know I've swallowed at least a quart

When this picnic is over and back home I go
To the warm water of the showers flow
I'll wonder if your troubles are the same as mine
Do you have sand stuck where the sun doesn't shine?

©Donna Jones

Poem Details | by Jackson LaBaugh |
Categories: age, arabic, assonance, beach, bird, giggle, judgement,

Haiku for the Color Red

As heat bursts around,
silence lets me ponder on,
where I left my phone.

Poem Details | by Gerard Keogh Jr. |
Categories: fantasy, funny, parody, science fiction

B Horror On a Beach Day.

Soon the curious swelled to a mob.
as they gathered to gape at the glob.
Someone prods with a stick.
as another screams: " Quick!"
"We must run for our lives! It's the Blob!"

Poem Details | by Dale Gregory Cozart |
Categories: humor,

Linguist at a Beach

Linguist at a beach dropping participle pants revealing diphthong

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: beach, body, clothes, humorous,

CROSS DRESSER

I espied a large woman called Evie (She was wearing her husband’s mankini) Though her skin was quite pale She looked like a beached whale It’s a pity his outfit’s so weenie Of her figure Evie is proud but Evie is so well endowed ‘Twas a bright a sunny day with huge boobs on display This outfit it drew quite a crowd An onlooker passed her a towel Saying cover those boobies they’re foul Please don’t wear a mankini - Wear a woman’s bikini Evie blushed red and gave him a scowl 3/28/18

Poem Details | by Keith Trestrail |
Categories: beach, fun, funny,

When Bad Things Happen to Good People

 In the cold sea my pants fell down and sunk,
 and when I came out part of me had shrunk.
   Girls pointed as I did hurtle
  "OMG!...a frightened turtle!"
 Hey! C'mon, that's no turtle, that's my junk!


                    --------------

        Inspired by a Seinfeld episode.

                   October 2014

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: beach, humorous, sports,

OLYMPIC BEACH VOLLEYBALL - ONE LINERS SPORT

Bikini clad babes bouncing on a beach, a VERY popular spectator sport! 09~12~15 Contest – Sport One Liners Sponsor – Silent One

Poem Details | by Hannah Rose |
Categories: beach, child,

Funny Beach Poem for Kids

I saw you playing on the beach,
the sky so blue but out-of-reach.
You started throwing sand so high
it hit the sun right in the eye!
He pulled the clouds around his head
like fluffy pillows from a bed.
Then rain poured down from darkened sky;
You didn’t mean to make him cry.

Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: children, funny,

Hot Foot Beach Shuffle

Georgy ran as Georgy can
Across the hot white shifting sand,
His hot foot shuffle
Caused such a kerfuffle,
Kicking sand up as he ran.

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: beach, funny, giggle, grandmother, happy birthday, humor, humorous,

Beach Birthdays

To the lake to the lake,
Fish to fry clams to bake.
This has been grandmother's cry
Now on birthdays she brings rye,
If just once she'd bring a cake.

Poem Details | by Perry Campanella |
Categories: beach, color, dark, fire, kids, fun, giggle, happy, humorous, inspirational, international, july, new year, poetry, senses, voice, youth,

Caution - Fireworks

E-Z Glo Punk, Lightning Flash,
TNT Devices will burst, do crash
Southern Night, Piccolo Petes
       are hard to beat...

I like hand held Sparklers, Tanks
 flashing fountains, Solar Flare
 Six to #20 Gold I have to share,
 no incidence, no burns, thanks...

  Whistles blow, fountains glow,
 pop'n sounds, entire sky all aglow
 I love those colors, high an low
  trails eched onto my retina
  inspired me to let ya know

  Now you close both eyes
in pitch dark, what a surprise
  for you to see, right there
 darkness, absolutely  anywhere
beautiful trails of lights in motion
 
"Always read a label of caution"

Poem Details | by J.W. Earnings |
Categories: adventure, art, beach, beauty, child, childhood, confusion, courage, dedication, fear, children, kids, freedom, friendship, funny, growing up, happiness, happy, history, hope, imagination, inspirational, journey, life, lonely, lost, mystery, nature, pain, passion, people, time, uplifting,

Have You Ever Read

Dedicated to an author by the name of William Golding... Enjoy!!!


~Two boys meet on an island
~~One is skin 'n bones
~~~The other one is chubby

They discover a lagoon~
Ralph teases him by calling~~
him "Piggy" -  how mean!!~~~

Piggy asks him if
There are other people on 
The island with 'em

He has no clue
But this'll answer Piggy's question --
Other boys appear - 
All diverse shapes and sizes
What'll happen next??

You'll see...

Have you ever read The Lord of the Flies?
I recommend it if yah haven't read it yet - I must admit
It's a book full of adult words and it's simply...FASCINATING! - no lies
You should read it - or you'll regret it!



Poem Details | by David Bose |
Categories: golf, humor, nature,

During a Round of Golf at Pebble Beach

On Pebble Beach's seventh green
I paused to watch an otter.
He dove, cavorted, spun around,
An acrobat on water.
Then lolling, drifting, eyeing me
He twitched brown nose and whiskers.
His thought, that moment, mirrored mine:
"He plays all day, that rascal."

Poem Details | by Kim McAdam |
Categories: beach, children, humor, simile,

Ocean Waves

ocean waves rush in
like rambunctious preschoolers
at morning recess
eager to entertain you
in goofy games of pretend

Poem Details | by Laura Leiser |
Categories: beach, funny,

Beach Seat

Two girls
With curls  

Sit near
The peer

See guy
Walk by

Big hat
So fat  

He trips
Then flips

On Bum
So stunned

Best feat
At beach.








Written on 6/5/2015

Poem Details | by Charlie Knowlton |
Categories: beach, funny, sea, summer,

Ride home from the beach


                     05/09/2018
                
                a sea of salt sand
                populates swimsuit waistband
                the oceans wet itch
        

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: beach, gender, humorous, sad love,

I FOUND NO JOY - SHE'S A LADYBOY

In Asia I met a cute gal named Mai Tai She sure stole the heart of this old guy On the soft sand we kissed and caressed Mai’s absolutely stunning, I feel so blessed I sense there’ll be fireworks under the moon Our passion is rising when we start to spoon Her perfect pert body I begin to kiss and caress One thing leads to another, we start to undress Alas, when Mai Tai removes her lacy thong I’m stunned when she reveals a pink dong I back away disgust, for ‘she’s’ a ladyboy With this he/she I sure won’t find any joy! So when looking for love, I’d advise you all to beware The truth of one's gender’s hidden in their underwear! 6/24/18

Poem Details | by Gorlum Gorlum |
Categories: beach, desire, humor, lust, ocean, old, places, romance,

Dirty limerick: old man,part 2

Preparing his conference speech
Old man ended up on nude beach
By virtue or vise
He stuck his device
In each blowhole he could reach

Poem Details | by Rick Zablocki |
Categories: beach, funny,

A Summer Couplet

Waves are rolling kids laugh silly
Off my feet what fun oh dilly

For Andrea's Contest