Humorous and funny Beauty poems and/or funny poems about Beauty. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Beauty funny poems!
Written by
Linda Alice Fowler
Categories:
age, beauty, funny, hair, old, silly, silver,
No Blue Hair
No blue hair or curls for me.
I’ll grow old naturally.
Hanging breasts and flattened bum,
crooked teeth and graying gum.
Sagging knees and chicken skin,
sunny spots and double chin.
Silver streaks through thinning hair,
dimming eyesight no repair.
Crinkly crow’s eyes and flat feet
singing as the Maker I meet.
I don’t care what you say,
I can’t hear you anyway.
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
appreciation, beauty, humorous, ireland, universe,
Plato and Socrates
Dramatic prose for the pompous asses
I throw my Platos at you
If you come any closer
I will Socrates you right in the nose
Demands, demands!!!! The clowns now have demands?
I say, rise up oh poets of the infinite dot universe
Proclaim the revolution a new
Justify our fight with words wrapped in doo doo
When I see a condescending donkey trip on his verbatim
I laughs cause I know he will fall into Satan's den
I am at eleven, usually a sober man
I carry my saber high and shout "Ekphrasis I don’t give a bloody damn"
Infinite ............................ Universe
Written by
Richard Lamoureux
Categories:
beauty, fun, giggle, inspiration, love, stars,
Fountain
I want to eat Pizza
While wishing on a star
To taste the taste of happy
By being where you are
We’ll choose to be silly
Not afraid of mistakes
Skinny dip at midnight
and skip pebbles on lakes
Why not dance together
While howling at the moon
Or become little children
and watch a cartoon
A world infused with laughter
can change how we think
From this fountain of youth
We’ll both gladly drink
For nothing could be better
Than sharing it with you
Because getting into mischief
Is a blast if there are two!
Written by
John Henry Galas
Categories:
beauty, body, cute love, for her, funny, i love you, princess,
You Are Beautiful
I don't care if you are inaccurate.
I don't care if you're a tomboy.
I don't care if you're an oval or a circle.
I don't care where you come from or what you were.
I don't even care if you have a coconut cream pie-in-the-face.
You are good.
You are perfect.
You are a princess.
And I will always love you.
Like you should love yourself.
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
beauty, cute love, grave, humor, obituary,
I Found a Girlfriend
Took me the breath of all my life
A soul mate who could consume my heart wither a smile
I found that Gothic girl after dark
A little to late to consummate
I lie in waiting with a dead round smile
Empty eyes and a lot of guile
I found a girlfriend even if late
We lie together
Frigid is our state
Written by
A.O. Taner
Categories:
beautiful, beauty, courage, cute love, dark, deep, depression, desire, destiny, devotion, dream, first love, funny love, grief, happiness, heart, heartbreak, heartbroken, how i feel, i am, i love you, i miss you, innocence, irony, jealousy, lonely, longing, loss, lost, love, love hurts, miss you, missing, missing you, night, passion, psychological, romance, romantic, sad, sad love, silence, sky, sleep, solitude, sunset, true love,
Red Light
have you ever felt like
the flashing red light on the roof,
lonely as ever
visible at night, useless by day?
in sync with its partner next door
for a quick kiss over a few flashes only
then arguing again and again
night in, night out.
have you ever felt like
the flashing red light on the roof,
not signaling a warning to keep away
but sending a call for compassion?
using the dark pauses in between
to yell the same name
over and over and over
into the emptiness of each night.
have you ever felt like
the flashing red light on the roof,
being your silent cry
only heard by your eternal love?
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
beauty, body, humorous, image,
Lets All Embrace Big Boobs
She's quite a busty lady, this fact cannot be denied
Tried to cover them up for years, her boobs shes tried to hide
But with a new found confidence all this is in the past
Shes got a brand new wardrobe gonna show em off at last
Ladies embrace your curves and lets take the ogling men down a notch
If they stare at your assets - smile sweetly and stare intently at their crotch!
Jan Allison
4th May 2014
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
flower, garden, giggle, humorous,
Bathing Beauty
her husband made her
a beautiful scented bath…
pity it’s outdoors!
Inspired by the above picture which was taken by my hubby when we were out walking today
AWARDED POTD 3RD SEPTEMBER
Please go to my poems page so you can see the accompanying picture as it doesn't show on the POTD page
09-01-17
Written by
John Michaels
Categories:
america, beauty, culture, humorous, political, satire, society,
Model Behaviour
Catwalks
Crowd gawks
Wont style
Forced smile
Strike pose
Fake nose
Weird strut
Flat butt
Scant curves
Unnerves
Small-hipped
Lunch skipped
Stick-thin
Chagrin
Faux tan
Pecan
Plucked brow
Used plough?
Long lash
Bleached 'tache
Plump lips
Veiled nips
Waxed mound
Astound
Forebear
Despair
Sweet girls
Morph churls
Sly pout
Grim trout
Taut thighs
All lies
Make hot
Post-shot
Airbrushed
Not hushed
Mere gaud
Defraud
Model?
Twaddle!
- - - - - - - - - -
25 November 2017
For the "Footle Form - Sequenced or Stand-Alone" contest, sponsored by Brian Strand.
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
beauty, dream, emotions, funny, growth, nature, water,
Bill's Cucumbers
There once was a Nun who knew Bill
For his cucumbers gave her a thrill
Off to sleep she went, dreamt
Her thoughts heavenly sent
All sweating she woke up with a shrill
Now embarrassed she's off to confess
That a cucumbers left her distressed
To the Father she cries
Would they be Bill's he replied
I've dreamt, now let us totally repent
< came to me after reading Jan Allison's 'Limerick' about Bill's Cucumbers >
Written by
Zamreen Zarook
Categories:
age, angel, beautiful, beauty, body, boyfriend, celebration, celebrity, change, character, creation, desire, emotions, children, friendship, girl, girlfriend, hero, humorous, i love you, image, life, memorial day, memory, middle school, relationship, romantic, school, society, student, teen, teenage, truth, wisdom, woman, women, words, world, youth,
Fake Words
Fake Words – Zamreen Zarook
God have given us mouth,
Not to speak to north and south,
Tongue is given under an oath,
So it’s our duty to protect them both.
Girls chat fake with boys,
Having a notion that the boys are toys,
They often make varied noise,
Thinking to keep a trap on handsome guys.
Boys are also human being,
So it’s not possible being clean,
Things varies in the way they are seen,
So positive thinking will make you keen.
Boys’ minds are pure,
As it is pure bio,
So don’t try to pour vino,
Which will take decades to get cure.
Written by
John Michaels
Categories:
beauty, earth, environment, humor, nature, rainforest,
Deforestation
Deforestation;
blades cut a swathe through foliage:
beauty has its price.
Written by
Andy Morfett
Categories:
appreciation, beauty, fashion, girl, humorous, inspirational,
Girls Who Wear Glasses
Girls Who Wear Glasses
Girls who wear glasses
Are seen as geeks or a nerd,
Which is the most ridiculous thing
That I've ever heard!
Girls who wear glasses
Are actually sexy and cool
Whether they’re petite little pixies
Or long-legged and tall.
Girls who wear glasses
Look intelligent and smart;
A look that has always
Gone straight to my heart
Girls who wear glasses
Are to be praised and admired
And to be told frequently
They are loved and desired!
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
beauty, humorous, simile,
- Pleasure Gives Performance -
One of the secrets in life
Maximum heart rate, maximum pleasure
Ready for a week's enjoyment
16.01.2017
- Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
(\__/)
(>'.'<)
(")_(")
Written by
Smail Poems
Categories:
age, angel, baseball, beauty, butterfly, caregiving, celebration, character, child, father daughter, feelings, film, fishing, flower, football, children, for her, friend, fun, funny, gender, girl, girlfriend, giving, graduation, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, growing up, growth, hair, happiness, happy, health, heart, hero,
Princesses
Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!
Written by
Anthony Scandrick Ii
Categories:
anniversary, baby, beautiful, beauty, caregiving, child, childhood, confusion, courage, dark, dedication, depression, devotion, freedom, goodbye, graduation, growing up, happiness, hope, humorous, lonely, lost love, love, mystery, passion, satire, slam, sorrow, sorry, success, suicide, teen, thank you, uplifting, write,
Dear Michelle
You almost had me,
I wanted you,
The way you stuck to me like super glue,
I was feeling you,
But I knew,
I could never have you,
But, the way you looked at me,
The way my body pleads,
We can never be,
Because I’m too old,
And your only thirteen.
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
beauty, funny, smile,
- Feeling of Beauty -
Are you concerned about external factors
A feeling of freshly washed hair is miraculous
Because you deserve it
12.03.2016
A-L Andresen :)
Written by
Robert Candler
Categories:
angel, beauty, blue, body, cute love, desire, feelings, giggle, girl, hello, hope, humorous, lust, relationship, romance, sexy, song, sweet, together, uplifting, woman,
Please Help Me, Re-Lyric
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
You're just so damn sexy,
That's why I'm hittin' on you.
You don't have to love me,
Some good sex will do.
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
Yes, you turned me on
When I saw you walk in...
The face of an Angel,
A body just made for Sin.
Now, I may be real horny,
But one thing is true:
What would satisfy me, Girl
Would be to satisfy You.
So please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You;
And I hope that you're fallin'
In Lust with me too;
But if not, then please fake it,
Please don't leave me "blue"...
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
beauty, humorous,
- Botox Smile -
Beauty is not something I was born with ~ Therefore I am exhausting
31.01.2016
A-L Andresen :)
Written by
Ryan Wanless
Categories:
animal, beauty, funny,
Narwhals
The humble narwhal
Unicorn of the ocean
Dwelling in the sea
The humble narwhal
Hunting delicious tuna
Eating all the fish
The humble narwhal
Bearer of the forehead tusk
Stabbing enemies
The humble narwhal
No, they aren't a type of fish
But they are mammals
Written by
Jimmi Canada
Categories:
baptism, beauty, city, eve, first love, funny, gender, god, history, independence day, mystery, mythology, night, obituary, raven, sea, silly, summer, sweet, teacher, world, yellow,
Roll On
Lauren Hill slow songs thrill,
they pop like a fast moving pill,
I am flopped on top of a junk food bill,
and running with a skunk who tells me to take in my fill-
like leading um' on into my dream,
I create a festering lean,
I rank every thought in order of how I like it,
and prep for a long time that's gonna break all the cycles.
Striding with my shrine,
as I shock a spine,
revitalize and prime-
as I preen and primp and chimp-
as I act like a pimp,
I black out and gimp,
skimp out on my dying moment because death is no shrimp!
Written by
Mark J. Halliday
Categories:
beauty, funny love, magic, music, passion, song, symbolism,
Spanish Gypsy
Guitars seduce me
With stacatto semi-tones
Spanish Gypsy scales
Written by
Amy Rose
Categories:
beautiful, beauty, child, childhood, courage, faith, children, freedom, happiness, health, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, journey, life, love, passion, peace, people, spiritual, uplifting,
Smile
Sense of humour, elevating our spirits
Musing over the simple things in life, rejoicing at what we find
Imagination stimulated, childlike, seeing the wonders in life
Light heartedness, laughing at one’s self!
Everything as it is meant to be, smiling, enjoying, the gift of life
Written by
Robert Candler
Categories:
angst, beauty, crazy, dream, humor, nonsense, rainbow, tribute,
Thanks, Judy
Bluebirds can't fly over the rainbow,
And I'll tell you something more;
The only avian species that can
Is the Andean Condor.
A chased rainbow is never caught.
Somehow, a rainbow's never "here".
The closer you get to the pot o'gold,
The rainbow moves or even disappears.
If I could fly over the rainbow,
My heart would sing;
But I can't fly over the rainbow,
'Cause I've got no damn wings.
Yes, we're all seeking rainbows.
In that, there's nothing wrong;
But every day I can say,
"I'm glad Judy Garland sang the song."
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
anniversary, appreciation, art, beauty, body, funny, simile,
New Year's Resolution Inspired By John Cameron Swayze
We suggest a v-gina's for sex
And hope the owner expects
To take a licking
And keep on ticking
Over and over like a Timex