Humorous and funny Beauty poems and/or funny poems about Beauty. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Beauty funny poems!
Written by
Linda Alice Fowler
Categories:
age, beauty, funny, hair, old, silly
No Blue Hair
No blue hair or curls for me.
I’ll grow old naturally.
Hanging breasts and flattened bum,
crooked teeth and graying gum.
Sagging knees and chicken skin,
sunny spots and double chin.
Silver streaks through thinning hair,
dimming eyesight no repair.
Crinkly crow’s eyes and flat feet
singing as the Maker I meet.
I don’t care what you say,
I can’t hear you anyway.
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
appreciation, beauty, humorous, ireland, universe,
Plato and Socrates
Dramatic prose for the pompous asses
I throw my Platos at you
If you come any closer
I will Socrates you right in the nose
Demands, demands!!!! The clowns now have demands?
I say, rise up oh poets of the infinite dot universe
Proclaim the revolution a new
Justify our fight with words wrapped in doo doo
When I see a condescending donkey trip on his verbatim
I laughs cause I know he will fall into Satan's den
I am at eleven, usually a sober man
I carry my saber high and shout "Ekphrasis I don’t give a bloody damn"
Infinite ............................ Universe
Written by
Richard Lamoureux
Categories:
beauty, fun, giggle, inspiration, love, stars
Fountain
I want to eat Pizza
While wishing on a star
To taste the taste of happy
By being where you are
We’ll choose to be silly
Not afraid of mistakes
Skinny dip at midnight
and skip pebbles on lakes
Why not dance together
While howling at the moon
Or become little children
and watch a cartoon
A world infused with laughter
can change how we think
From this fountain of youth
We’ll both gladly drink
For nothing could be better
Than sharing it with you
Because getting into mischief
Is a blast if there are two!
Written by
John Henry Galas
Categories:
beauty, body, cute love, for her, funny, i love you
You Are Beautiful
I don't care if you are inaccurate.
I don't care if you're a tomboy.
I don't care if you're an oval or a circle.
I don't care where you come from or what you were.
I don't even care if you have a coconut cream pie-in-the-face.
You are good.
You are perfect.
You are a princess.
And I will always love you.
Like you should love yourself.
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
beauty, cute love, grave, humor, obituary,
I Found a Girlfriend
Took me the breath of all my life
A soul mate who could consume my heart wither a smile
I found that Gothic girl after dark
A little to late to consummate
I lie in waiting with a dead round smile
Empty eyes and a lot of guile
I found a girlfriend even if late
We lie together
Frigid is our state
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
beauty, body, humorous, image,
Lets All Embrace Big Boobs
She's quite a busty lady, this fact cannot be denied
Tried to cover them up for years, her boobs shes tried to hide
But with a new found confidence all this is in the past
Shes got a brand new wardrobe gonna show em off at last
Ladies embrace your curves and lets take the ogling men down a notch
If they stare at your assets - smile sweetly and stare intently at their crotch!
Jan Allison
4th May 2014
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
flower, garden, giggle, humorous,
Bathing Beauty
her husband made her
a beautiful scented bath…
pity it’s outdoors!
Inspired by the above picture which was taken by my hubby when we were out walking today
AWARDED POTD 3RD SEPTEMBER
Please go to my poems page so you can see the accompanying picture as it doesn't show on the POTD page
09-01-17
Written by
John Michaels
Categories:
america, beauty, culture, humorous, political, satire
Model Behaviour
Catwalks
Crowd gawks
Wont style
Forced smile
Strike pose
Fake nose
Weird strut
Flat butt
Scant curves
Unnerves
Small-hipped
Lunch skipped
Stick-thin
Chagrin
Faux tan
Pecan
Plucked brow
Used plough?
Long lash
Bleached 'tache
Plump lips
Veiled nips
Waxed mound
Astound
Forebear
Despair
Sweet girls
Morph churls
Sly pout
Grim trout
Taut thighs
All lies
Make hot
Post-shot
Airbrushed
Not hushed
Mere gaud
Defraud
Model?
Twaddle!
- - - - - - - - - -
25 November 2017
For the "Footle Form - Sequenced or Stand-Alone" contest, sponsored by Brian Strand.
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
beauty, dream, emotions, funny, growth, nature
Bill's Cucumbers
There once was a Nun who knew Bill
For his cucumbers gave her a thrill
Off to sleep she went, dreamt
Her thoughts heavenly sent
All sweating she woke up with a shrill
Now embarrassed she's off to confess
That a cucumbers left her distressed
To the Father she cries
Would they be Bill's he replied
I've dreamt, now let us totally repent
< came to me after reading Jan Allison's 'Limerick' about Bill's Cucumbers >
Written by
John Michaels
Categories:
beauty, earth, environment, humor, nature, rainforest
Deforestation
Deforestation;
blades cut a swathe through foliage:
beauty has its price.
Written by
Andy Morfett
Categories:
appreciation, beauty, fashion, girl, humorous, inspirational
Girls Who Wear Glasses
Girls Who Wear Glasses
Girls who wear glasses
Are seen as geeks or a nerd,
Which is the most ridiculous thing
That I've ever heard!
Girls who wear glasses
Are actually sexy and cool
Whether they’re petite little pixies
Or long-legged and tall.
Girls who wear glasses
Look intelligent and smart;
A look that has always
Gone straight to my heart
Girls who wear glasses
Are to be praised and admired
And to be told frequently
They are loved and desired!
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
beauty, humorous, simile,
- Pleasure Gives Performance -
One of the secrets in life
Maximum heart rate, maximum pleasure
Ready for a week's enjoyment
16.01.2017
- Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
(\__/)
(>'.'<)
(")_(")
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
beauty, funny, smile,
- Feeling of Beauty -
Are you concerned about external factors
A feeling of freshly washed hair is miraculous
Because you deserve it
12.03.2016
A-L Andresen :)
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
beauty, humorous,
- Botox Smile -
Beauty is not something I was born with ~ Therefore I am exhausting
31.01.2016
A-L Andresen :)
Written by
Ryan Wanless
Categories:
animal, beauty, funny,
Narwhals
The humble narwhal
Unicorn of the ocean
Dwelling in the sea
The humble narwhal
Hunting delicious tuna
Eating all the fish
The humble narwhal
Bearer of the forehead tusk
Stabbing enemies
The humble narwhal
No, they aren't a type of fish
But they are mammals
Written by
Jimmi Canada
Categories:
baptism, beauty, city, eve, first love, funny
Roll On
Lauren Hill slow songs thrill,
they pop like a fast moving pill,
I am flopped on top of a junk food bill,
and running with a skunk who tells me to take in my fill-
like leading um' on into my dream,
I create a festering lean,
I rank every thought in order of how I like it,
and prep for a long time that's gonna break all the cycles.
Striding with my shrine,
as I shock a spine,
revitalize and prime-
as I preen and primp and chimp-
as I act like a pimp,
I black out and gimp,
skimp out on my dying moment because death is no shrimp!
Written by
Mark J. Halliday
Categories:
beauty, funny love, magic, music, passion, song
Spanish Gypsy
Guitars seduce me
With stacatto semi-tones
Spanish Gypsy scales
Written by
Robert Candler
Categories:
angst, beauty, crazy, dream, humor, nonsense
Thanks, Judy
Bluebirds can't fly over the rainbow,
And I'll tell you something more;
The only avian species that can
Is the Andean Condor.
A chased rainbow is never caught.
Somehow, a rainbow's never "here".
The closer you get to the pot o'gold,
The rainbow moves or even disappears.
If I could fly over the rainbow,
My heart would sing;
But I can't fly over the rainbow,
'Cause I've got no damn wings.
Yes, we're all seeking rainbows.
In that, there's nothing wrong;
But every day I can say,
"I'm glad Judy Garland sang the song."
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
anniversary, appreciation, art, beauty, body, funny
New Year's Resolution Inspired By John Cameron Swayze
We suggest a v-gina's for sex
And hope the owner expects
To take a licking
And keep on ticking
Over and over like a Timex
Written by
Paula Goldsmith
Categories:
beauty, humor, moon, sky, star, uplifting
The Full June Moon
You hang on a velvet black sky
Your beauty makes me want to sigh
Wearing a halo of stars
I bet you can see mars
The full June moon makes me want to cry
Date Written:6/5/2022
8 Place
howmanysyllables.com The Moon in June (Choose One of Five Forms) Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Andrea Dietrich
Written by
Wallace Kaufman
Categories:
animal, beauty, humor, language, onomatopoeia, senses
Carolina Wren
Where this time?
The pair makes several tries--
my hard hat, a can of nails, window ledge
all filled with leaves.
How do they judge
those inferior, this one prime?
It's predetermined,
I don't know how.
So too their songs--
he two-notes or three-notes,
and she chirrrs along.
Same songs, same positions,
morning in and morning out.
I wake to their repetition.
If they watch me, no doubt
they'd see my own routines,
but neither they nor I can find
what isn't wired in my genes.
Why does this human mind
hear Figaro, Figaro, Figaro
in his operatic voice?
Or is it video, video, video?
It's his song, but my choice.
Written by
Richard Lamoureux
Categories:
beauty, celebration, humorous,
Boobs
Jugs of an INORDINATE size
I can't help but lOOk at them
Giggles escape from my lips
Grapefruit like in shape
Lively like bounce
In my face
Nifty
Gift
Written by
Martin Kloess
Categories:
beauty, funny, humor, sexy,
The Stripper
As stripper I wasn’t too proud
A part of my life still in shroud
What gutter’s about
If e’er I had doubt
Put it on came shout from the crowd
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
adventure, allegory, beauty, funny, humorous, satire
Victoria's Secret
With terrain and angles galore
Nature has objects to adore
But what is this glitch?
A non-working bra hitch
Hides the peaks we want to explore
Written by
Probir Gupta
Categories:
beauty, hilarious, imagery, nature,
The Bitter Apple
The city tops in murder
But is among the safest
So says well known newspaper
Last night the apple was sweet
This morning it is bitter
Time so weird inside the brain
Till the other moment no
Doors there were in the closed room
Now five doors as you can see
Pitch black night as sun rises
Very dense packed cloud in sky
Many a lie in the truth
Such is life in cup and cone
Flat land where we seek fine hills
World is an oxymoron
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31/8/2016