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Funny Poems About Beauty or Beauty Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Beauty poems and/or funny poems about Beauty. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Beauty funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Beauty Poems.

Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: appreciation, beauty, humorous, ireland, universe,

Plato and Socrates

Dramatic prose for the pompous asses
I throw my Platos at you
If you come any closer
I will Socrates you right in the nose
Demands, demands!!!! The clowns now have demands?
I say, rise up oh poets of the infinite dot universe
Proclaim the revolution a new
Justify our fight with words wrapped in doo doo
When I see a condescending donkey trip on his verbatim
I laughs cause I know he will fall into Satan's den
I am at eleven, usually a sober man
I carry my saber high and shout "Ekphrasis I don’t give a bloody damn"
Infinite ............................ Universe


Poem Details | by Lewis Raynes |
Categories: beautiful, beauty, desire, humor, humorous, love, society,

She loves jewellery

She has a collection, an unusual collection, 
Of four thousand and forty two,
Colourful, shapely, dangly rings, 
From green to gold to blue,

That she wears from ears, her nose, her lips, 
The ones that are on show,
And she wears a heap in other places, 
But there I will not go,

Her arms both glitter, her legs glisten, 
Her neck’s a twinkle on display,
She’s a shiny beautiful colourful star, 
When she walks throughout the day,

From hoops, to drops, to barbell hugs, 
She loves wearing tiny rocks,
But no one can actually see her now, 
She’s become a walking jewellery box.


Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: beauty, cute love, grave, humor, obituary,

I Found a Girlfriend

Took me the breath of all my life
A soul mate who could consume my heart wither a smile
I found that Gothic girl after dark
A little to late to consummate
I lie in waiting with a dead round smile
Empty eyes and a lot of guile
I found a girlfriend even if late
We lie together
Frigid is our state

Poem Details | by John Henry Galas |
Categories: beauty, body, cute love, for her, funny, i love you, princess,

You Are Beautiful

I don't care if you are inaccurate.
I don't care if you're a tomboy.
I don't care if you're an oval or a circle.
I don't care where you come from or what you were.
I don't even care if you have a coconut cream pie-in-the-face.
You are good.
You are perfect.
You are a princess.
And I will always love you.
Like you should love yourself.

Poem Details | by Keith Trestrail |
Categories: beauty, funny, humorous,

Beer Goggles

No, no, the drinks are on me I told her
And with each one I was gettin' bolder:
  When I woke the next day
  Whoa! Well...let's just say
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder!





Poem Details | by A.O. Taner |
Categories: beautiful, beauty, courage, cute love, dark, deep, depression, desire, destiny, devotion, dream, first love, funny love, grief, happiness, heart, heartbreak, heartbroken, how i feel, i am, i love you, i miss you, innocence, irony, jealousy, lonely, longing, loss, lost, love, love hurts, miss you, missing, missing you, night, passion, psychological, romance, romantic, sad, sad love, silence, sky, sleep, solitude, sunset, true love,

Red Light

have you ever felt like 
the flashing red light on the roof,
lonely as ever
visible at night, useless by day?

in sync with its partner next door
for a quick kiss over a few flashes only 
then arguing again and again 
night in, night out.

have you ever felt like 
the flashing red light on the roof,
not signaling a warning to keep away
but sending a call for compassion?

using the dark pauses in between 
to yell the same name 
over and over and over
into the emptiness of each night.

have you ever felt like
the flashing red light on the roof,
being your silent cry
only heard by your eternal love?

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: beauty, body, humorous, image,

Lets All Embrace Big Boobs

She's quite a busty lady, this fact cannot be denied
Tried to cover them up for years, her boobs shes tried to hide
But with a new found confidence all this is in the past
Shes got a brand new wardrobe gonna show em off at last
Ladies embrace your curves and  lets take the ogling men down a notch
If they stare at your assets - smile sweetly and stare intently at their crotch!

Jan Allison
4th May 2014

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: flower, garden, giggle, humorous,

BATHING BEAUTY

her husband made her a beautiful scented bath… pity it’s outdoors! Inspired by the above picture which was taken by my hubby when we were out walking today AWARDED POTD 3RD SEPTEMBER Please go to my poems page so you can see the accompanying picture as it doesn't show on the POTD page 09-01-17

Poem Details | by John Michaels |
Categories: america, beauty, culture, humorous, political, satire, society,

Model Behaviour

Catwalks
Crowd gawks

Wont style
Forced smile

Strike pose
Fake nose

Weird strut
Flat butt

Scant curves
Unnerves

Small-hipped
Lunch skipped

Stick-thin
Chagrin

Faux tan
Pecan

Plucked brow
Used plough?

Long lash
Bleached 'tache

Plump lips
Veiled nips

Waxed mound
Astound

Forebear
Despair

Sweet girls
Morph churls

Sly pout
Grim trout

Taut thighs
All lies

Make hot
Post-shot

Airbrushed
Not hushed

Mere gaud
Defraud

Model?
Twaddle!

- - - - - - - - - -

25 November 2017

For the "Footle Form - Sequenced or Stand-Alone" contest, sponsored by Brian Strand.

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: beauty, dream, emotions, funny, growth, nature, water,

Bill's Cucumbers

There once was a Nun who knew Bill For his cucumbers gave her a thrill Off to sleep she went, dreamt Her thoughts heavenly sent All sweating she woke up with a shrill Now embarrassed she's off to confess That a cucumbers left her distressed To the Father she cries Would they be Bill's he replied I've dreamt, now let us totally repent < came to me after reading Jan Allison's 'Limerick' about Bill's Cucumbers >

Poem Details | by Zamreen Zarook |
Categories: age, angel, beautiful, beauty, body, boyfriend, celebration, celebrity, change, character, creation, desire, emotions, children, friendship, girl, girlfriend, hero, humorous, i love you, image, life, memorial day, memory, middle school, relationship, romantic, school, society, student, teen, teenage, truth, wisdom, woman, women, words, world, youth,

Fake Words

Fake Words – Zamreen Zarook

God have given us mouth,
Not to speak to north and south,
Tongue is given under an oath,
So it’s our duty to protect them both.

Girls chat fake with boys,
Having a notion that the boys are toys,
They often make varied noise,
Thinking to keep a trap on handsome guys.

Boys are also human being,
So it’s not possible being clean,
Things varies in the way they are seen,
So positive thinking will make you keen.

Boys’ minds are pure,
As it is pure bio,
So don’t try to pour vino,
Which will take decades to get cure.

Poem Details | by John Michaels |
Categories: beauty, earth, environment, humor, nature, rainforest,

Deforestation

Deforestation; blades cut a swathe through foliage: beauty has its price.

Poem Details | by Smail Poems |
Categories: age, angel, baseball, beauty, butterfly, caregiving, celebration, character, child, father daughter, feelings, film, fishing, flower, football, children, for her, friend, fun, funny, gender, girl, girlfriend, giving, graduation, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, growing up, growth, hair, happiness, happy, health, heart, hero,

Princesses

Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!

Poem Details | by Andy Morfett |
Categories: appreciation, beauty, fashion, girl, humorous, inspirational,

Girls Who Wear Glasses

Girls Who Wear Glasses

Girls who wear glasses 
Are seen as geeks or a nerd,
Which is the most ridiculous thing
That I've ever heard!

Girls who wear glasses
Are actually sexy and cool
Whether they’re petite little pixies
Or long-legged and tall.

Girls who wear glasses
Look intelligent and smart;
A look that has always 
Gone straight to my heart

Girls who wear glasses
Are to be praised and admired
And to be told frequently 
They are loved and desired!

Poem Details | by Anthony Scandrick II |
Categories: anniversary, baby, beautiful, beauty, caregiving, child, childhood, confusion, courage, dark, dedication, depression, devotion, freedom, goodbye, graduation, growing up, happiness, hope, humorous, lonely, lost love, love, mystery, passion, satire, slam, sorrow, sorry, success, suicide, teen, thank you, uplifting, write,

Dear Michelle

You almost had me,
I wanted you,
The way you stuck to me like super glue,
I was feeling you,
But I knew,
I could never have you,
But, the way you looked at me,
The way my body pleads,
We can never be,
Because I’m too old,
And your only thirteen.

Poem Details | by Sunshine Smile |
Categories: beauty, humorous, simile,

- Pleasure Gives Performance -




                                    One of the secrets in life 

                        Maximum heart rate, maximum pleasure

                                Ready for a week's enjoyment











  16.01.2017
- Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
  Copyright © All Rights Reserved

                 (\__/)
                (>'.'<)
                (")_(")

Poem Details | by Sunshine Smile |
Categories: beauty, humorous,

- A Botox Smile -


Beauty is not something I was born with ~ Therefore I am exhausting











31.01.2016
A-L Andresen :)

Poem Details | by Robert Candler |
Categories: angel, beauty, blue, body, cute love, desire, feelings, giggle, girl, hello, hope, humorous, lust, relationship, romance, sexy, song, sweet, together, uplifting, woman,

Please Help Me, Re-lyric

Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.
You're just so damn sexy,
That's why I'm hittin' on you.
You don't have to love me,
Some good sex will do.
Please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You.

Yes, you turned me on
When I saw you walk in...
The face of an Angel,
A body just made for Sin.
Now, I may be real horny,
But one thing is true:
What would satisfy me, Girl
Would be to satisfy You.

So please help me, I've fallen
In Lust with You; 
And I hope that you're fallin'
In Lust with me too;
But if not, then please fake it,
Please don't leave me "blue"...
Please help me, I've fallen
In  Lust  with  You.


Poem Details | by Amy Rose |
Categories: beautiful, beauty, child, childhood, courage, faith, children, freedom, happiness, health, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, journey, life, love, passion, peace, people, spiritual, uplifting,

Smile

Sense of humour, elevating our spirits
Musing over the simple things in life, rejoicing at what we find
Imagination stimulated, childlike, seeing the wonders in life
Light heartedness, laughing at one’s self!
Everything as it is meant to be, smiling, enjoying, the gift of life

Poem Details | by Mark J. Halliday |
Categories: beauty, funny love, magic, music, passion, song, symbolism,

Spanish Gypsy

Guitars seduce me
With stacatto semi-tones
Spanish Gypsy scales

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: anniversary, appreciation, art, beauty, body, funny, simile,

New Year's Resolution inspired by John Cameron Swayze

Author's Note:  If you have never seen the advertising contributions of John Cameron Swayze, take a moment to watch a few of his videos.  Then, enjoy this limerick (which in combination with the videos) provides some interesting inspiration for the new year.  

We suggest a vagina's for sex
And hope the possessor expects
To take a licking
And keep on ticking
Over and over like a Timex 

Poem Details | by Probir Gupta |
Categories: beauty, hilarious, imagery, nature,

The Bitter Apple

The city tops in murder
But is among the safest
So says well known newspaper

Last night the apple was sweet
This morning it is bitter
Time so weird inside the brain

Till the other moment no
Doors there were in the closed room
Now five doors as you can see

Pitch black night as sun rises
Very dense packed cloud in sky
Many a lie in the truth

Such is life in cup and cone
Flat land where we seek fine hills
World is an oxymoron
______________________________________
31/8/2016


Poem Details | by Sunshine Smile |
Categories: beauty, funny, smile,

- The Feeling Of Beauty -


Are you concerned about external factors
A feeling of freshly washed hair is miraculous 
Because you deserve it










12.03.2016
A-L Andresen :)

Poem Details | by brittney lopez |
Categories: absence, age, angel, april, baptism, beautiful, beauty, bible, birth, blue, boat, body, books, boyfriend, bridal shower, flower, for her, forgiveness, freedom, funny, games, garden, girlfriend, goodbye, graduation, poetry, voice, wisdom, women, words, writing, youth,

Skin

You send bolts through my skin 
something I was never to 
accomplish with you, when I 
saw you it's like my heart sank 
to my stomach and I was in 
shock my body still my body 
heavy felt like when I moved I 
was about to fall to my knees 
you make me want to get 
inside my brain pick you up and 
take you out pick you one by 
one like a flower because I do 
love you and love you not.

Poem Details | by Robert Candler |
Categories: angst, beauty, crazy, dream, humor, nonsense, rainbow, tribute,

Thanks, Judy

Bluebirds can't fly over the rainbow,
And I'll tell you something more;
The only avian species that can
Is the Andean Condor.

A chased rainbow is never caught.
Somehow, a rainbow's never "here".
The closer you get to the pot o'gold,
The rainbow moves or even disappears.

If I could fly over the rainbow,
My heart would sing;
But I can't fly over the rainbow,
'Cause I've got no damn wings.

Yes, we're all seeking rainbows.
In that, there's nothing wrong;
But every day I can say, 
"I'm glad Judy Garland sang the song."