Humorous and funny Bible poems and/or funny poems about Bible. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Bible funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Bible Poems.
animal, bible, christian, humorous,
Chirp chirp chirp
Cluck cluck cluck cluck
Dirty little men
One insane wee little hen
Let me introduce you
To a really big huge man
A heart sent from angels
A voice lowered from the heavens
A man whose humble heart
Can squash a 1000 little men
So when in life you see a fork in the road
You can be the Hen
Or you can be the bigger man
bible, creation, cute love, humor, humorous,
God creates male and female
A Slight Improvement
All it took was one rib,
Adam wouldn’t miss it.
Look what he gained.
At first sight, he uttered
an ancient word the equivalent
of the modern, “Wow!”
From the best use of a rib
of all time, came a creature
capable of charm, seduction,
procreation, gentleness, envy,
love, virtue, loyalty, jealousy,
deceit, and an affinity for salt.
Though she came from man,
she seeks always to best him,
and considers herself superior
in every way. After all, she has
that extra rib.
First Appeared in Galaxy of Verse.
The father said,"Kids, God told Lot,"
"Take your wife and flee from the city!"
"His wife became salt, looking back!"
On their faces, he saw pity
"They were not suppose to look back,"
The father said, "I guess you see,"
"We should always do what God asks!"
The boy said,"Yes, but what of the flea?"
angel, angst, art, bible, boyfriend, eve, god, humor, language, nature, nice, retirement, science, senses, silly, snow,
RIPAE BENI DEAU VER
In modus fasciculumque Brady pus.
Rogationes, confractum egemus.
Ripa nostra, sus amica,
Sic superbum precum, pape beatus.
The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand moves in mysterious ways. Just ignore him.
absence, age, angel, april, baptism, beautiful, beauty, bible, birth, blue, boat, body, books, boyfriend, bridal shower, flower, for her, forgiveness, freedom, funny, games, garden, girlfriend, goodbye, graduation, poetry, voice, wisdom, women, words, writing, youth,
You send bolts through my skin
something I was never to
accomplish with you, when I
saw you it's like my heart sank
to my stomach and I was in
shock my body still my body
heavy felt like when I moved I
was about to fall to my knees
you make me want to get
inside my brain pick you up and
take you out pick you one by
one like a flower because I do
love you and love you not.
bible, christian, funny, silly,
1. Walls of Jericho:
3. The Egyptians:
1. Joshua 6:20
2. Exodus 10:17-19
3. Exodus 14:28
4. Judges 4:21
5. Judges 16:29-30
6. Genesis 31:41
Written July 2d and 3d, 2013
allegory, animal, bible, deep, humorous, parody, smile,
On a road
The ford squished the toad
Gods wheels made the devil implode
Dreams seeping into the sun
No idea the death they created
Now was rotting on the road
Death saved humanity
The toad was a loathsome load
Of vile spittle
Of spiteful dribble
Tribble and vitriol
The toad was a seeker
He found his destiny
As road kill
bible, humanity, humor, religion, satire,
Couldn’t deal with masculinity;
Couldn’t deal with femininity,
So he settled on
angel, bible, cheer up, funny, humorous,
calling from the bush
to a stuttering Moses
"H-h-h-ere I a-am," he said
and the voice replied:
"I have a mission for ya,
hope you like manna."
Written April 4th, 2016
For the Senryu on Angels Contest Hosted by Marvin Celestial
betrayal, bible, character, conflict, easter, faith, farewell, giggle, history, paradise, people, power, psychological, religious, sorry, storm, travel, tribute, trust, women,
Taking sides in discussions holily
About whether Uran used his willy
Means you're trapped in their game -
Either side is the same:
**** distracts, cash departs, crowd stays silly.
The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand interprets important Slovenian affairs for the non-Slovene speaking world.
age, bible, eve, humorous, paradise, woman, women,
Only Eve is a madam,
who is known from Adam.
bible, creation, funny, irony, jesus, silly, work,
Work, work, work, work, work
Work, work, work, wor, wor
Wor, wor, wor, wor, wor, wo
Wo, wo, wo, wo, woe is us.
The irony of the fall of man:
Them yielding to Eden’s free and tempting fruit,
Now cursed us to labor for our fruit.
They should’ve had a hamburger.
bible, fruit, heaven, humorous, irony, passion, religious,
If some fruit is forbidden in Eden,
Eden soon also will be forbidden.
computer, games, god, humorous,
In the beginning god created
A blinking icon on a screen of black.
That’s when Adam, with username Eve,
Figured out how to hack.
He hacked into every computer game,
Learnt how to kill, rape, steal, he lied,
Breaking every law the computer god set,
It didn’t matter if he lived or died.
It didn’t matter because each time he died,
He was resurrected back to the start,
With every gun and weapon of choice,
Legs, arms, eyes, nose, ears, mouth and heart.
And generations have followed this guy,
Entranced by his computer game spell.
They all have different gods to worship,
From Apple to Sony to Dell.
adventure, art, bible, desire, faith, funny love, wisdom,
Keep love in your heart and do not fall apart
Keep wisdom in your heart and ask Bart
Keep power in your heart and go to K-mart
Keep spirit in your heart and go and get the merit
bible, humor, irony, judgement, psychological, satire, water,
He cast a crouton on the water
Watched it sog upon the swell
What came back was lava bread
And Chelsea buns as well
She threw in an expensive cake
‘Twas softer than a futon
But what came back upon the waves
Was just a soggy crouton
© Gail Foster 2016
bible, god, humorous, people, religious,
The fact that He saves only souls
not fully consoles.
bible, father son, funny, humor, money,
I asked my dad to sell half of his land and give me the loot.
I used the money to travel, drink spirits and hire prostitutes.
But my money soon ran out and I was forced to live like a dog.
I had no choice but to get a job and I had to feed a man's hogs.
My money didn't last very long, I can't believe how much I spent.
I returned to my father and I expected to be treated like a servant.
But instead, my father had a feast, we dined after he killed a calf.
My brother will get the rest of Dad's land, I was foolish to ask for my half.
I was so happy when my father was pleased to see me return.
A fool and his money are soon parted, that's the lesson I learned.
Preterition Swears on the Bible
with all due respect
I was home watching tv
your noble honor ~
it was half-past nine
the only reason I know
O.J. was winning ~
joseph bejcek poewhit
bible, books, deep, funny, boy,
Poem boy - again
Just a note to send
Girl with lazy eye's
Read more - surprise
GOD made heaven
Worked 6 - rested 1
well water - [ for sale ]
GEEEE - you looking pale
3/27/2014 JOE POEWHIT
bible, child, culture, fruit, funny, mother, sin,
The Forbidden Fruit
Is bound to be cute
As enticing as it can be
A forbidden tart
May capture your heart
In the blink of an eye, you see
A Forbidden Fruit
Dumps the resolute
Straight down the chute to Hell
And every recruit
Soon learns the route
No need for the ding of a bell
A Forbidden Fruit
has one attribute
That mothers pass on to each child
When mother says, "No!"
Her child will hear, "Go!
'Tis certain to drive Mother wild!"
bible, funny, humorous,
Goliath’s wife couldn’t go on
She felt like she’d married King Kong
Young David got laid
Right after he’d made
A catapult out of her thong
29 December 2018
For: Tania Kitchin’s
Bawdy Limerick Contest
David De la Croes
A sweet girl named Lily from Varamin
Esteemed herself above life's toil and spin.
With words filled with honey
She gained rich fools' money
and dressed-up as Sheba's queen's better twin!
Adam said we have another baby to make
whereas Eve said she had a headache
he didn't give up
although she said enough
Adamant he said it was for Gods sake!
(aka Merçi à Lot)
God has a strict measure of worth
As well as a Jew's sense of mirth
God once said to Lot,
"You know what you've got?
Your wife is the Salt of the Earth!"