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Funny Poems About Birth or Birth Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Birth poems and/or funny poems about Birth. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Birth funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Birth Poems.

Poem Details | by brittney lopez |
Categories: absence, age, angel, april, baptism, beautiful, beauty, bible, birth, blue, boat, body, books, boyfriend, bridal shower, flower, for her, forgiveness, freedom, funny, games, garden, girlfriend, goodbye, graduation, poetry, voice, wisdom, women, words, writing, youth,

Skin

You send bolts through my skin 
something I was never to 
accomplish with you, when I 
saw you it's like my heart sank 
to my stomach and I was in 
shock my body still my body 
heavy felt like when I moved I 
was about to fall to my knees 
you make me want to get 
inside my brain pick you up and 
take you out pick you one by 
one like a flower because I do 
love you and love you not.


Poem Details | by John Blake |
Categories: birth, dream, funny, nature, seasons, sleep, spring,

Multiplication

Trying to fall asleep in Spring,
I found the trick of counting sheep,
Grazing in flocks and wandering,
Could not succeed in bringing sleep,

Following one another too,
Bleating meanwhile, and eyeing me,
They sauntered by, as all sheep do:
I watched them, counting patiently.

In Spring’s lush pastures so sublime,
It seemed that every flock would grow,
Filling the fields at lambing time,
In numbers more than I could know,

No rest would come, no pillowed bliss:
I saw there was no end to this.

Poem Details | by John Trainer |
Categories: birth, father, father daughter, humorous, universe,

The Birth of a Thought

I gave birth to a thought today
A shiny little supposition
It wept about all the possibilities
Endless creativity 
Directionless refractivity
Like protons racing around an atom blaster
My thoughts began to multiply
It was the Big Bang of my Universe
Then I heard the voice of an angel
Say, “Daddy, this is my science project.”
And now the birth of a thought
Gave birth to a Black Hole

Poem Details | by James Inman |
Categories: funny, january, sad, sweet, tribute,

Me and Eeyore, On the Year of My Birth

Just          my mother tryin for 
anothur          moment of agonised , blisful but
nevurending          hapiness, sharin with no one hur 
uninterupting          joy until my overly large but othurwise
average          head appears and the docter says, "anothur
regular          ordinary baby, happy new 
year          I'm sory, what did you say his name was"



08/13/2015

Poem Details | by Gerald Dillenbeck |
Categories: birth, health, humanity, humor, math, science,

Revolutionary KickStart

What's the difference between a regenerative-revolutionary outcome
and an evolutionary process of gradual redevelopment?

It depends
whether you are talking to the baby
or to the new mom.

But,
if you talk and empathize with both together,
then probably none.

If 2 times 2 is 4
because each 2 is either or
rather than both and,
then why is 1 times 1 not not 1,
but also 2?

If me and you grow two
because each me and you is either or not me or you
yet also both-and me as appositional you,
then are we not both each 1,
so 2,
as one appositive (nondual) co-defining pair?

Poem Details | by Brenda McGrath |
Categories: birth, funny, humorous,

April the Giraffe

April the giraffe’s live feed is all the rage,
Every day we hope to see the birth engaged.
Where oh where can the new baby be?
Is this a fake pregnancy that we see?

A new baby giraffe is what we all want,
But April is in no hurry and nonchalant.
Maybe the blessed event will be this week.
The world is all dying for that first peek.






Written 3/31/17

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: age, birth, birthday, celebration, humorous,

LEAP YEAR BIRTHDAY

Leap year babes party every fourth year When their birthday arrives they can cheer But on a positive note It would surely get MY vote Getting old is something they won’t fear! 15th September 2016

Poem Details | by Shanity Rain |
Categories: beauty, birth, celebration, creation, culture, fish, future, god, history, humor, image, imagination, immigration, inspirational, life, magic, miracle, mystery, mythology, natural disasters, nature, night, nostalgia, ocean, old, science, sea, technology, voyage,

new aquatic species

       Science in all fascination has discovered a species aquatic 

  Theorizing this new yet old species remained hidden as Merman  

  only to live in secret at the oceans floor the mermaid a tribe indigenous 

  once said to be myth yet all proof and technology film does not lie 

  Tsunamis has given the ocean a true glance of the man with webbed hands

  The species communes with dolphins will be under a microscope to analyze  ?


    " The World is not ready to see what I have "  Jacques Cousteau ~


         to be entered in The Science contest ~

Poem Details | by Elizabeth Smith |
Categories: anger, birth, funny, hilarious, humor, woman,

Time changes things

There's a pregnant woman in a TV commer-
cial ad 
Who's crooning to the baby writing a letter 
to it both sad and glad 
Then with tears coursing down the cheeks
She announces the waiting's over in few 
more weeks 
In perhaps 15 years give or take a few
She's got more tears and now is in an 
angry stew 
Where has that damn kid gone is he in 
trouble again?
She has forgotten the feelings she had 
back then

Poem Details | by Darian Brown |
Categories: childhood, faith, friendship, funny, life, lost love, teen, new year,

Happy Day of Birth

Dear dead properties, L-o-L
Now back to earth and for what it’s worth
A new year is a laudable blessing commencing rebirth
Advance in life and don’t come back, kidding 
Just don’t retreat or look back
Sweet sixteen I’m glad you’re that
On your back, me support thou sat
Feliz cumpleaños, and good luck
Love, a hungry acquaintance 

Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: birth, body, humorous, men, people, relationship, success,

A greedy Dick

A greedy Dick's seed
will hardly succeed. 

Volodymyr Knyr
2017

Poem Details | by Mike Toole |
Categories: birth, celebration, child, funny, teacher,

Grand Daughter Arrival, Praise the Lord

Your teacher always said in math,
You wasn't very bright, 
As when you did your adding up, 
You never got it right.
And though it appears so very sad, 
Twas teacher didn't know how to add,
After all these years, to your delight,
It's evident you are quite bright, 
You see your math was always right,
For it happens just to be,
That if you combine a loverly Lisa, 
With one fine looking fella,
The product is an angel, 
A precious gift called Ella,
So the moral of this story, 
And it was always meant to be, 
Is that teacher was so very wrong, 
As one and one makes three.


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: birth, funny, humorous, silly,

AN UNEXPECTED DELIVERY

A huge pregnant young lady named Jill Bungee jumped for a bit of a thrill When her baby flew out Jill did scream and then shout 'Now there’s two to walk back down the hill!' Fiction write for limerick contest Sponsored by Cecelia Hopkins-Drewer 06-03-17

Poem Details | by Mike Martin |
Categories: birth, humor, humorous, niece,

Blaze Pascal

Of Blaze Pascal the story goes
An infant of distinct
His mother, Lady Rae-Marie
Of her own instinct

Did suckle starving infant
When at last, he showed his face
To bless all those who set up camp
To wait upon his grace

Poem Details | by dennis sheffer |
Categories: birth, brother, care, funny,

Small tid-bits these days

Could we engage further through attempting light
Can the light make us kiss under the sun again
Should we be so close that the gravity hurts
Akin to two massive bodies that split each other in half 
(Saturn and Jupiter)
Will the love of self be overshadowed by a greater sense
Of the perfect need to be amazing 
Do we move with the motivation of the gods
Has the new language made sense to no one
As the wind moves across the frontal lobe
The cortex keeps it incredible 
A fifth dimensional kiss within a dream



Poem Details | by John Hardison |
Categories: birth, humorous, mothers day, tribute,

Mother's Day

Mother’s Day.

Soon after being born, as mother lay there, 
she held me above her head. Opening my eyes, I 
looked down and thought, well what is this?

Mother knew.

It’s Mother’s Day.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY.
(To all so afflicted). 


Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: beautiful, birth, dedication, father, heart, humorous, marriage,

Double Up

I mean that fourteen different ways
The heat of summer
makes me sway

Sami Davis
Boy could he play
That was yesterday

Arthur have you heard?
Jean's now that's absurd
History always doubles up

Sami are you ok?
Cause I will delight if I may
Should a doctor smile and say

Twins!!

Poem Details | by Laura DIDONATO |
Categories: best friend, birth, husband, life, soulmate, true love, wife,

When You Touch Me I Still Giggle


Each passing year
You become more dear
For our daughter to declare
To marry someone with the stare
You still have for me
While idly standing by
With adornment in your eye
I now more than ever
Knowing there is no never
You will always be
My snuggie eternally
When you touch me I still giggle
Freeing me from my constant
     niggle
Nothing of more value externally
To you I am bound eternally

Poem Details | by Elton Camp |
Categories: humor,

Too Much Fuss Over the Birth of a Baby

Too Much Fuss Over a Baby

By Elton Camp

The royal cervix will open wide
Out a prince or princess will slide

Red, wrinkled, ugly as hell
Nobody dares the truth tell

The royal vernix on royal skin
A messy way for life to begin

Gender may be hard to determine
If it’s born wearing royal ermine

With a royal frown on its face
To minister, servants will race

With its royal fate decreed,
It’s what the British need

Another economic parasite
To add to the royal blight

Poem Details | by Michael Sender |
Categories: bird, birth, food, humorous,

Eggs

Why do some eggs crack easily?
Their yolks sitting nicely
Other eggs shatter
Their yolks splatter

Perfect eggs are best fried
The others should be scrambled
If in doubt, boiling could be tried
Three minute timer - soft boiled

In nature, **** and hen have mated
Inside the egg a chick is created
The hen lays her egg to brood 
The chick is born: the egg wasn't food

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: birth, funny, humor, parents, smile, society, sometimes,

Born In A Taxi

There once was a newborn named Maxi,

Who forewent a stork for a taxi,

But as he could not yet walk,

And bubble-babbling was his talk,

Driver gave him to a new mama in the Back Seat.


Poem Details | by Ejire Michael |
Categories: age, birth, birthday, cheer up, humor, inspirational, youth,

A Special Treasure

The time runs so fast,
Years fly fast.

His birth came and went
And left a gift behind: to be content. 

His tenacity keeps him young;
His humility makes him strong. 

A special person who gives us much pleasure;
We are glad to have a special treasure.

Dedicated to Emmanuel Odedina

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: birth, cat, cheer up, freedom, fun, giggle, humor,

Patriot Cat

There once was a tabby named Peaches
Who liked to recite Lincoln speeches.
At the Senate House she'd roost
Til the President deduced,
That cat is trying to impeach us.

Poem Details | by Cassandra Travis |
Categories: birth, blessing, change, funny, future, symbolism,

Found

All things must be brought into this world, one way or another.
Humans, cats, and octopi too.
Unadorned, unembellished plant pot, 
Holds the key to a new life.
Tendrils filled with hope, reaching up and up and up again. 
A lamp, now antique, still has that magic.
It brings life of its own into the world, a light in the dark.
A pen, flowing with ideas, waiting to be compiled. 
Built upon a foundation of crisp paper,
Sturdy as ever, though it is frail. 
One way or another, all things must be brought into this world.

Poem Details | by barbara barry-nishanian |
Categories: birth, humorous, joy, mother son,

quick change

QUICK CHANGE We’ve shared a lot the two of us The nine months we’ve been one I’ve joggled you and you’ve kicked me But now our visits done. And I wonder as I look at you In one second change my life To know I am your mother And no longer just a wife. Barbara Barry-Nishanian Oct.5, 1973