Humorous and funny Birth poems and/or funny poems about Birth. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Birth funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Birth Poems.
absence, age, angel, april, baptism, beautiful, beauty, bible, birth, blue, boat, body, books, boyfriend, bridal shower, flower, for her, forgiveness, freedom, funny, games, garden, girlfriend, goodbye, graduation, poetry, voice, wisdom, women, words, writing, youth,
You send bolts through my skin
something I was never to
accomplish with you, when I
saw you it's like my heart sank
to my stomach and I was in
shock my body still my body
heavy felt like when I moved I
was about to fall to my knees
you make me want to get
inside my brain pick you up and
take you out pick you one by
one like a flower because I do
love you and love you not.
birth, dream, funny, nature, seasons, sleep, spring,
Trying to fall asleep in Spring,
I found the trick of counting sheep,
Grazing in flocks and wandering,
Could not succeed in bringing sleep,
Following one another too,
Bleating meanwhile, and eyeing me,
They sauntered by, as all sheep do:
I watched them, counting patiently.
In Spring’s lush pastures so sublime,
It seemed that every flock would grow,
Filling the fields at lambing time,
In numbers more than I could know,
No rest would come, no pillowed bliss:
I saw there was no end to this.
birth, father, father daughter, humorous, universe,
I gave birth to a thought today
A shiny little supposition
It wept about all the possibilities
Like protons racing around an atom blaster
My thoughts began to multiply
It was the Big Bang of my Universe
Then I heard the voice of an angel
Say, “Daddy, this is my science project.”
And now the birth of a thought
Gave birth to a Black Hole
funny, january, sad, sweet, tribute,
Just my mother tryin for
anothur moment of agonised , blisful but
nevurending hapiness, sharin with no one hur
uninterupting joy until my overly large but othurwise
average head appears and the docter says, "anothur
regular ordinary baby, happy new
year I'm sory, what did you say his name was"
birth, health, humanity, humor, math, science,
What's the difference between a regenerative-revolutionary outcome
and an evolutionary process of gradual redevelopment?
whether you are talking to the baby
or to the new mom.
if you talk and empathize with both together,
then probably none.
If 2 times 2 is 4
because each 2 is either or
rather than both and,
then why is 1 times 1 not not 1,
but also 2?
If me and you grow two
because each me and you is either or not me or you
yet also both-and me as appositional you,
then are we not both each 1,
as one appositive (nondual) co-defining pair?
birth, funny, humorous,
April the giraffe’s live feed is all the rage,
Every day we hope to see the birth engaged.
Where oh where can the new baby be?
Is this a fake pregnancy that we see?
A new baby giraffe is what we all want,
But April is in no hurry and nonchalant.
Maybe the blessed event will be this week.
The world is all dying for that first peek.
age, birth, birthday, celebration, humorous,
Leap year babes party every fourth year
When their birthday arrives they can cheer
But on a positive note
It would surely get MY vote
Getting old is something they won’t fear!
15th September 2016
beauty, birth, celebration, creation, culture, fish, future, god, history, humor, image, imagination, immigration, inspirational, life, magic, miracle, mystery, mythology, natural disasters, nature, night, nostalgia, ocean, old, science, sea, technology, voyage,
Science in all fascination has discovered a species aquatic
Theorizing this new yet old species remained hidden as Merman
only to live in secret at the oceans floor the mermaid a tribe indigenous
once said to be myth yet all proof and technology film does not lie
Tsunamis has given the ocean a true glance of the man with webbed hands
The species communes with dolphins will be under a microscope to analyze ?
" The World is not ready to see what I have " Jacques Cousteau ~
to be entered in The Science contest ~
anger, birth, funny, hilarious, humor, woman,
There's a pregnant woman in a TV commer-
Who's crooning to the baby writing a letter
to it both sad and glad
Then with tears coursing down the cheeks
She announces the waiting's over in few
In perhaps 15 years give or take a few
She's got more tears and now is in an
Where has that damn kid gone is he in
She has forgotten the feelings she had
childhood, faith, friendship, funny, life, lost love, teen, new year,
Dear dead properties, L-o-L
Now back to earth and for what it’s worth
A new year is a laudable blessing commencing rebirth
Advance in life and don’t come back, kidding
Just don’t retreat or look back
Sweet sixteen I’m glad you’re that
On your back, me support thou sat
Feliz cumpleaños, and good luck
Love, a hungry acquaintance
birth, body, humorous, men, people, relationship, success,
A greedy Dick's seed
will hardly succeed.
birth, celebration, child, funny, teacher,
Your teacher always said in math,
You wasn't very bright,
As when you did your adding up,
You never got it right.
And though it appears so very sad,
Twas teacher didn't know how to add,
After all these years, to your delight,
It's evident you are quite bright,
You see your math was always right,
For it happens just to be,
That if you combine a loverly Lisa,
With one fine looking fella,
The product is an angel,
A precious gift called Ella,
So the moral of this story,
And it was always meant to be,
Is that teacher was so very wrong,
As one and one makes three.
birth, funny, humorous, silly,
A huge pregnant young lady named Jill
Bungee jumped for a bit of a thrill
When her baby flew out
Jill did scream and then shout
'Now there’s two to walk back down the hill!'
Fiction write for limerick contest
Sponsored by Cecelia Hopkins-Drewer
birth, humor, humorous, niece,
Of Blaze Pascal the story goes
An infant of distinct
His mother, Lady Rae-Marie
Of her own instinct
Did suckle starving infant
When at last, he showed his face
To bless all those who set up camp
To wait upon his grace
birth, brother, care, funny,
Could we engage further through attempting light
Can the light make us kiss under the sun again
Should we be so close that the gravity hurts
Akin to two massive bodies that split each other in half
(Saturn and Jupiter)
Will the love of self be overshadowed by a greater sense
Of the perfect need to be amazing
Do we move with the motivation of the gods
Has the new language made sense to no one
As the wind moves across the frontal lobe
The cortex keeps it incredible
A fifth dimensional kiss within a dream
birth, humorous, mothers day, tribute,
Soon after being born, as mother lay there,
she held me above her head. Opening my eyes, I
looked down and thought, well what is this?
It’s Mother’s Day.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY.
(To all so afflicted).
beautiful, birth, dedication, father, heart, humorous, marriage,
I mean that fourteen different ways
The heat of summer
makes me sway
Boy could he play
That was yesterday
Arthur have you heard?
Jean's now that's absurd
History always doubles up
Sami are you ok?
Cause I will delight if I may
Should a doctor smile and say
best friend, birth, husband, life, soulmate, true love, wife,
Each passing year
You become more dear
For our daughter to declare
To marry someone with the stare
You still have for me
While idly standing by
With adornment in your eye
I now more than ever
Knowing there is no never
You will always be
My snuggie eternally
When you touch me I still giggle
Freeing me from my constant
Nothing of more value externally
To you I am bound eternally
Too Much Fuss Over a Baby
By Elton Camp
The royal cervix will open wide
Out a prince or princess will slide
Red, wrinkled, ugly as hell
Nobody dares the truth tell
The royal vernix on royal skin
A messy way for life to begin
Gender may be hard to determine
If it’s born wearing royal ermine
With a royal frown on its face
To minister, servants will race
With its royal fate decreed,
It’s what the British need
Another economic parasite
To add to the royal blight
bird, birth, food, humorous,
Why do some eggs crack easily?
Their yolks sitting nicely
Other eggs shatter
Their yolks splatter
Perfect eggs are best fried
The others should be scrambled
If in doubt, boiling could be tried
Three minute timer - soft boiled
In nature, **** and hen have mated
Inside the egg a chick is created
The hen lays her egg to brood
The chick is born: the egg wasn't food
birth, funny, humor, parents, smile, society, sometimes,
There once was a newborn named Maxi,
Who forewent a stork for a taxi,
But as he could not yet walk,
And bubble-babbling was his talk,
Driver gave him to a new mama in the Back Seat.
age, birth, birthday, cheer up, humor, inspirational, youth,
The time runs so fast,
Years fly fast.
His birth came and went
And left a gift behind: to be content.
His tenacity keeps him young;
His humility makes him strong.
A special person who gives us much pleasure;
We are glad to have a special treasure.
Dedicated to Emmanuel Odedina
birth, cat, cheer up, freedom, fun, giggle, humor,
There once was a tabby named Peaches
Who liked to recite Lincoln speeches.
At the Senate House she'd roost
Til the President deduced,
That cat is trying to impeach us.
birth, blessing, change, funny, future, symbolism,
All things must be brought into this world, one way or another.
Humans, cats, and octopi too.
Unadorned, unembellished plant pot,
Holds the key to a new life.
Tendrils filled with hope, reaching up and up and up again.
A lamp, now antique, still has that magic.
It brings life of its own into the world, a light in the dark.
A pen, flowing with ideas, waiting to be compiled.
Built upon a foundation of crisp paper,
Sturdy as ever, though it is frail.
One way or another, all things must be brought into this world.
birth, humorous, joy, mother son,
We’ve shared a lot the two of us
The nine months we’ve been one
I’ve joggled you and you’ve kicked me
But now our visits done.
And I wonder as I look at you
In one second change my life
To know I am your mother
And no longer just a wife.