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Funny Poems About Boyfriend or Boyfriend Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Boyfriend poems and/or funny poems about Boyfriend. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Boyfriend funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Boyfriend Poems.

Poem Details | by JSLambert Mister ROBOTO |
Categories: allegory, fantasy, father, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, hope, husband, imagination, life, love, passion, people, places, romance, social, wife,

Viagra Falls

There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'

but when it got little 
his pills became skittles   
until he O.D.'d on Viagra

© ~JSLambert  2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!


Poem Details | by Laura Hannan |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, love, parody, passion, teen,

A Brutally Honest Valentine's

My darling enigma, my dove   
You’re the epitome of my love
Your smile shines at me pearly white      
Pale skin shines and glints in the light       
Silken locks, obsidian flow
Eyes just like ice, crystalline glow        
Peals of laughter ring like a bell            
Enchant me; I’m under your spell    
You walk with a musical flow
Tiptoeing with softness through snow

But, alas, you open your mouth
Utter tripe spilling out
If only you’d keep your mouth shut.

(Love from Anonymous) 

Poem Details | by Flippant She-Creature |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, lost love, love, mother, parody, romance, satire, sorry,

Shall I Compare Thee to Your Mother's ****

Shall I compare thee to your mother's ****?
Thou aren’t more lovely, but more flatulent.
Rough winds do shake it; and bring on a farce
And all her clothes hath all too short a rent

Sometime too hot-headed of hell doth burn,
And often is the true nature exposed;
And every foul from fowl; my stomach churns,
By reason, or by nature's raging closed.

But thy infernal diet shall ne’er start
Nor gain possession of which now I grasp;
Nor shall we meet again; let’s stay apart,
When in eternal sounds the voice does rasp,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can cry,
So long lives this, and I bid thee goodbye.

Poem Details | by Tasha Taylor |
Categories: boyfriend, funny love, girlfriend, psychological, relationship,

SCHIZOPHRENIA

"Doctor!
Doctor!
How is he?"

"Quite terrible, Miss.
He will not survive the night,
Probably not even the hour."

"What does he have?
Terminal cancer?
Pneumonia?
Cardiac Arrest?"

"No.
It is worse then all of those.
Even combined."

"Oh no! 
Can I see him?

"I imagine you can, Miss.
But that's the problem.
I'm afraid I can't treat him
Since I can't--"

"Doctor! Please tell me.
I love him. 
He's my boyfriend.
We have no secrets."

"Then you may wanna sit down.
Miss, I am sorry to inform you,
Your boyfriend is ailed with
A severe case of nonexistence."


Poem Details | by Virginia Mitchell |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend

Oh! Dear gawd!

Mom looks through windows
A watched pot will never boil
A daughter's courtship





Contest; "Redneck Psalms, Improve Human Foible"

Sponsored by: John Freeman

Poem Details | by JSLambert Mister ROBOTO |
Categories: angst, confusion, depression, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, introspection, life, love, passion, people, philosophy, romance, social, sorry

Shameful Morning

not sure how she got here 
only know she needs to leave

underneath the stranger 
my arm numb; asleep, 
mouth a desert.
a hundred dead cigarettes dance my tongue dry 

princess of night 
exposed by light. 
get me out of this;
another dreaded morning mess. 

bed broken
along with my will. 
I swore never again; 
the lie is half the thrill.

~JSLambert

Poem Details | by Ph.d Volo Von Wolfenstein |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, lovelove,

Polynonsensicalamorous

I'm polynonsensicalamorous;
For me,
Romance is calamitous,

I woo and charm,
And raise some alarm,
When I try to arouse,
... By flexing my arm!

Some days its almost ridiculous,
Whatever I do, 
It's frivolous!

So I dress to impress,
But I'm always despairing,
When I walk through the door,
I hear: "What are you wearing?"

They told me love was fabulous,
If you want the truth:
It's strenuous!

When I try to hit,
I always miss,
That hug I got,
...Should've been a kiss!

But if all is fair in love and war,
I should keep trying until I score,
And maybe one day I will cease to fuss,
If only I wasn't...
Polynonsensicalamorous.



Poem Details | by Fisayo Aderounmu |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, love, passion, romance,

KISS

Kiss saves and kills
Drop by drop KISS increases 
To form an ocean of EMOTION 
EMOTION in love billows
Around many pillows 
With PASSION it is POWERED 
You lose control over your EMOTION 
Your EMOTION now sets you in MOTION
To the journey of no return. 
You may ask, What is bad in it? 
The bad IN it is at the END of it!

Poem Details | by Izzy Gumbo |
Categories: funny

My BoyFriend is a BeeHive...

... that's naughty honey...

Reflecting upon the idea...
I dipped a finger and checked the air
The wind was moving and I could swear
That my boyfriends taste was everywhere
Licking my fingers in pure delight I
Extended again for another bite
...
Better with the butter
Indeed its true...but
There's a scent in the air
With a golden glow and after
Summing it up I came to know...
That my Boyfriends honey
Was on sour dough.
...
Having seen that
Sent me realing on back
And my walls went up
In stacks upon stacks
Determined to never again...
...
Write a sweet book
with a bitter nut's pen.

Poem Details | by Pepper Jones |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, dance, dance,

Viagra

I got up at six this morning
Feeling kind of weak
I had a shave and showered
As I walked my bones would creak

I have very bad arthritis
But I can kill the pain
I just have to take Viagra
Then go back to bed again

My girl is exasperated
Found out six months ago
A Viagra in the morning
Will keep me on the go

I cuddled next to her
":Lets dance they're playing our song"
Sleepy eyed she lay there
Snoring all along

Next morning I woke up
A note said she was gone
"Next time you hear your music
You must dance it all alone"

Poem Details | by ... Gigno |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, loveme,

Thirsty Clutch

I wanted something bubbly
Coke with ice cream trick
That fridge, again, empty
So I made my trip to Kwik

Swerving around this town in my horses
Parking up by the front door
No training could have prepared me for
What waited inside the store

Standing with her 2-liter of Diet 7-Up
If I just died, keep me here on heaven
I asked above not be taken so abruptly
Feeling luckier than sevens or elevens

Now she says that this place
Is wherever we stand here
Desiring her within my space 
Needing her crystal clear

That gentleness of her touch
As we let go while giving in
When love has got its clutch
In times we are skin to skin

Poem Details | by CayCay Jennings |
Categories: body, boyfriend, clothes, funny, hurt, lust, men,

My Pinged Pong


My eager man bought me a wee thong which I put on to best get along but rubbing bugging attacks soon whacked my fore and aft crack. My pinged pong found his dingdonged thong wrong.
... CayCay August 7, 2019

Poem Details | by Zamreen Zarook |
Categories: age, angel, beautiful, beauty, body, boyfriend, celebration, celebrity, change, character, creation, desire, emotions, children, friendship, girl, girlfriend, hero, humorous, i love you, image, life, memorial day, memory, middle school, relationship, romantic, school, society, student, teen, teenage, truth, wisdom, woman, women, words, world, youth,

Fake Words

Fake Words – Zamreen Zarook

God have given us mouth,
Not to speak to north and south,
Tongue is given under an oath,
So it’s our duty to protect them both.

Girls chat fake with boys,
Having a notion that the boys are toys,
They often make varied noise,
Thinking to keep a trap on handsome guys.

Boys are also human being,
So it’s not possible being clean,
Things varies in the way they are seen,
So positive thinking will make you keen.

Boys’ minds are pure,
As it is pure bio,
So don’t try to pour vino,
Which will take decades to get cure.

Poem Details | by Poet Destroyer A |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, love,

BED BUG BITES

BED BUGS BITES

It's time to fix the mattress
fluffy pillows and blankets,
enough room for just one more.
BITE ME' if you can!

Swat after, swat, after swat!  
Red itchy skin, what the h3ll!
The open breeze feels real good,
crawling too bite NATE!

BY; PD
________________________________________


NOTE~ I've never been bitten by these insects,
I just love the way my mother would always say...
"Don't let the bed bugs bite!"

Contest: "Bite me!"  

**I bite Nathan, who'll probably will love it ;-)**...LOL...

Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: childhood, education, family, fantasy, children, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, imagination, inspirational, life, love, people, teen, uplifting, visionary

Stuck On You

braces interlocked - told him no kissing

Poem Details | by Heather Hill |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, romance, sad, song-sympathy, teen

The break up- Footle contest

Cold stares
heart tares

Poem Details | by Andrew Crisci |
Categories: boyfriend, character, crush, funny, games, teacher, teen,

Distraction In The Classroom

Some boys forget their mom's words,
they leave for school in a mad rush
with uncombed hair looking like nerds;
in the classroom they have a crush.
Liz, their teacher, wears tight jeans,
they can't concentrate on the test;
she's happy for attracting the teens,
their girlfriends notice their unrest.
They hate their beautiful teacher, 
but her vulgarity makes them sneer: 
her character isn't worthy of cheer.
When paper planes start a warfare,
Liz's hair seems a style so rare;
all the boys laugh: it is a snare.  
     

Poem Details | by Charlie Murder |
Categories: business, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, romance, slam, war, nice, me, nice,

im just gonna snap okay get over it

i dont care who you are
or what you think of me
build me up and break me down
then take your "stuff"* and flee

i hate you 
you know it too
so bring it to my plate
take a point and hold my ground
to not spew all my hate

you were so nice in the beginning 
well, what the "heck"* are you now?
gone, love, thats what you are
a filthy ugly cow

i am still the nice guy 
lord, you have said so much worse
and still im here, i still get by
a blessing, not a curse.

i didnt snap hard enough to say what i meant


Poem Details | by Julian Bohan |
Categories: angel, angst, art, bible, boyfriend, eve, god, humor, language, nature, nice, retirement, science, senses, silly, snow,

From The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand - E PLURIBUM ANUS



RIPAE BENI DEAU VER

In modus fasciculumque Brady pus.
Rogationes, confractum egemus.
Minara excommunica
Ripa nostra, sus amica,
Sic superbum precum, pape beatus.



Story:
http://www.sloveniatimes.com/president-to-attend-pope-francis-s-installation-mass#komentarji


The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand moves in mysterious ways. Just ignore him. 


www.jesus.si

Poem Details | by Cecilia Macfarlane |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, body, girl,

Birds -N- Bees

Your raging hormones you must ignore
For desires will shake you to your core
Listen to your heart 
Before you embark
Make love with someone you truly adore.

Sciences class teaches us what we should know
About body parts and where they should go
Willie goes in ****
Quicken breaths we huff
All consumed till body fluids flow.

But alas the girl did not have none
Boy finished before girl was done
He is satisfied
She is horrified
Damn the hype about two joining as one.


Poem Details | by brittney lopez |
Categories: absence, age, angel, april, baptism, beautiful, beauty, bible, birth, blue, boat, body, books, boyfriend, bridal shower, flower, for her, forgiveness, freedom, funny, games, garden, girlfriend, goodbye, graduation, poetry, voice, wisdom, women, words, writing, youth,

Skin

You send bolts through my skin 
something I was never to 
accomplish with you, when I 
saw you it's like my heart sank 
to my stomach and I was in 
shock my body still my body 
heavy felt like when I moved I 
was about to fall to my knees 
you make me want to get 
inside my brain pick you up and 
take you out pick you one by 
one like a flower because I do 
love you and love you not.

Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: children, humorous, boy,

Flirting Boyfriend

Giggling Girty became quite shirty
When her boyfriend was acting flirty,
With a handful of mud 
Delivered with an awful thud
Her boyfriend is now dizzy and dirty.

Poem Details | by Jimmy Anderson |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend

Emmmmm Good

The spring in my pants was so dandy.
She wanted to suck it like candy.
When she closed her eyes.
I gave my surprise.
Never saw a girl quite that handy!


For Francine Roberts "Wow me in 5 lines" contest

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend

Hickey Dickey

I knew of a guy called Dickey
Whose life became rather tricky
When he kissed the girls
They left pretty burls
Never showing us his hidden hickeys

Poem Details | by Sam Ruby |
Categories: angst, art, beautiful, beauty, boyfriend, butterfly, caregiving, childhood, computer-internet, confusion, courage, cowboy-western, dance, dark, daughter, dedication, depression, devotion, dream, funny, girl, girlfriend, goodbye, growing up, happiness, humorous, inspirational, lost, lost love, nostalgia, peace, romance, romantic, sad, song, teen, time, uplifting, women, me, love, me,

Pricked

Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.