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Funny Poems About Cancer or Cancer Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Cancer poems and/or funny poems about Cancer. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Cancer funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Cancer Poems.

Poem Details | by Ann Foster |
Categories: anti bullying, appreciation, cancer, cry, faith, humor, hurt,

The Unhappy Hostess

Come into my house, 
Sit anywhere you like. 

No, not at my table, 
No, not on my chair. 
Come into my house,
Sit anywhere.

I invited you, 
I opened up my home.
Oh, I changed my mind, 
It is a vaulted tome.
Sit anywhere.

Come into my house,
You really are not welcome.
You are a phantom guest, 
And a sadly, unwanted pest,
Yet still...
Sit anywhere.

It is a perfect place,
You should have been more proud, 
Just to be invited, 
And permitted, in the crowd. 
Sit anywhere. 

With rules and hidden spaces.
And a common thought out plan, 
You do not fit, so do not sit, 
“Sit anywhere”. 


Poem Details | by Jill Martin |
Categories: friendship, funny, life, love, cancer,

Chemo Fun

Sitting in the backseat ~ yackety
she drives like
    crackers ~ wackedy
speeding to the movies?
we can’t be late?
Driver ahead asleep at the
    light
panic stop she makes ~ 5 seatbelts lock
But the 
backlash! ........... flying wig
plops smack in my lap . . . .
Screaming fits of laughter all around.
Late to the movies after all,
    not nearly as good.




Dedicated to my friend, Kate.
Breast cancer survivor.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, cancer, humorous, husband,

I'M A WAG AND IT'S OFFICIAL

My hair is dyed to hide the grey and how my boobies sag But I have it on good authority I’m a ‘Walnut Wag’ A ‘Walnut Wag’ … what’s that you may ask I will enlighten you for that’s my task A ‘Walnut Wag’ is the partner of someone with prostate cancer This cancer can be cured so don’t let your man be a chancer From our experience early detection is the key With treatment your man can be cancer free 15th January 2016

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, cancer, health, humorous,

A TALE OF TWO TITTIES - AN 'UPLIFTING' POEM

Squashed like two pancakes Mammograms detect cancer Please kiss me better Follow up to my mammogram poem – my poor aching ‘Bristol Cities’ 09~24~16

Poem Details | by Pete Yuhas |
Categories: body, cancer, emotions, humor, memory, pain, remember,

Broken Memories

My transport is broken, it's falling apart
well, physically speaking I mean
Rust and corrosion, abuse and neglect
add up to a miserable scene

Headaches and pain, and depression and such
all taking their toll on it too
But there's part of the mind, that no trauma can touch
the part that is pulling me through

I can still travel, though walking is hard
and I can still fight through the pain
I can still see, all those wonderful things
The ones that I've stored in my brain

Nourishment comes, from the back of my mind
That place where my memories are kept
Bringing me pleasure and happiness too
Once all the cobwebs are swept.....

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, cancer, humorous, poetry,

SCATOLOGY - ANOTHER POOP POEM

So my poems may not be perfect And some of them don’t even rhyme I write about poop and farting But scatology is not a crime I don’t know a person who has never done a pooh So I’ll continue to write poems about going to the loo On a serious note bowel cancer has killed three of my dad’s family So I’ll always have a vested interest on the topic of scatology 03~02~17

Poem Details | by JACQUELYN STURGE |
Categories: funny, women, women, cancer,

MAMMOGRAM


Women over fifty
need to have a mammogram yearly,
It is an important test
that involves squeezing a woman's breast.


It is for cancer screening
but leaves some women really screaming,
Place your breast on machine which
clamps down on it like a fish sandwich.


Then it's tender to the touch
not many women like this too much,
I do believe it's a man
who invented this type of torture plan.


Why don't they screen men this way
put their member on this thing I say,
Then prostate cancer will flee
I'm just laughing at this imagery!




Poem Details | by Annie Lander |
Categories: courage, dark, dedication, farewell, forgiveness, funny, hope, cancer,

Ball of Fire

Today is Doomsday.

Some believe today is Doomsday
Some say maybe the end of the year
However, do we really care?
How would the earth end?
In a ball of fire or 
would it swallow us up into puff of dust
in a matter of an hour..

I rather am buried under pile of snow.
Eternal Preservation "what a nice way to go

However do we have option in a world?
Where lunatics have taken over asylums
where deranged souls spreading like a social cancer 
Is doomsday  the answer..?

Poem Details | by Joe Flach |
Categories: funny, cancer,

Zodiac Cancer Dancer

There once was a man born under Cancer
Who was a lover and also a dancer
The girls he would waltz
With devious thoughts
The Cancer dancer wants to depants her

Poem Details | by tom bell |
Categories: confusion, funny, life, mystery, on writing and words, cancer,

Random, Unintelligable Thoughts

RUT- that's the title,
Insanity- I'm a disciple.
You guys make me think,
in ways untried,
I'll treasure this site,
until I've died.
And maybe even after that,
How many lives for this cat?
Survived cancer twice,
And though it was not nice,
Worse pain I've suffered
by words,
Those sharp knives
that pierce the soul,
From anger seemingly
out of control,
Eight inch switchblade scar,
Which my skin did so mar
I hear words I question why said,
As if one were brain dead,
Like "that door is ajar.."
How crazy you think you are?
A door is a door,
A jar is a jar,
No way to confuse them
No matter who you are...
A brain just too lazy,
Or one who's simply crazy?


Poem Details | by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories: america, anger, cancer, humor, mental illness, patriotic, political,

Ump

There once was a bully named Ump
With broom handle stuck up his Rump
He bragged, "I'm a rat!"
And they voted for that
As they scavenged for food at the dump."

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, cancer, humorous,

BOWEL CANCER SCREENING - DYING FOR A POOH

Scatology IS a theme we can write about - I write poop poems (some folk may prefer this alternative ending! ) Jan's poems are poop a small testing kit will plop through your letterbox it’s simple to do just three smears of pooh for bowel cancer screening it could save your life with intervention this cancer can be treated ... don't leave it too late! if you should notice a change in bowel habits then get it checked out don't be embarrassed get to the bottom of things ... dying for a pooh? 11/24/18

Poem Details | by Norman Crocker |
Categories: cancer, humor,

Hairless Men

hairless men
joke about their condition
women don't