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Funny Poems About Candy or Candy Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Candy poems and/or funny poems about Candy. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Candy funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Candy Poems.

Poem Details | by Arlene Smith |
Categories: funny, silly,

Stop Eyeing My Candy

Clothes all clean
but the washing machine
ate up all my panties.

Raced to the store 
to buy some more,
But bought instead some brandy.

Stopped at a shop
for a lollipop;
a treat I find so dandy.

My skirt fell down
In the middle of town.
Now everyone's eyeing my candy!


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: candy, humorous,

I'VE FOUND LIFE ON MARS

I picked up a lovely sweet treat Unwrapped it, was ready to eat Much to my chagrin A grub was within I chucked it and stamped with my feet 10th May 2016

Poem Details | by Michelle Faulkner |
Categories: candy, children, funny, halloween,

The Witches of Halloween

Face to face with the witches of Halloween
curse black jellybeans

Zombie doctors, unbeating hearts out of whack
raisins giving back

Mad scientists, green goggles, double helix
rejecting trail mix

Undead bug blasters, squishing out eight-legged lice
No to apple slice

String cheese does not bring
Candy's following
Face to face with the witches of Halloween...

10/30/18


Poem Details | by Timothy Hicks |
Categories: candy, celebrity, children, humorous,

Willy Wonka

Willy Wonka sang the cheeriest of songs
to every child he did see.
For what other adult could eat candy all day long
and not get a single cavity?

Poem Details | by Shanity Rain |
Categories: candy, change, desire, food, kids, funny, house, husband, imagination, mystery, poems, senses, sweet,

Sweet Carmel

The taste of homemade Carmel so sweet/ everyone I know desires the treat.

After one night in the kitchen covered/ half the pan gone, next morning discovered. 

 Is it my beagle Lily whom loves any food? / she seems in a hyper beagle mood.

 I know I heard a squeak in the night / a dream ? No, for low was the kitchen light.
           
 T'was my husband, for he can't resist/ soft , buttered brown sugar , a Vanilla twist.
           

Poem Details | by Mark J. Halliday |
Categories: candy, humorous, love hurts,

Chocolate Indulgences

Chocolate Indulgences  (20150129)

If I really had no choice but to divulge,
In mountains of chocolate I would indulge.
I'm not just taking about Snickers,
Reese's peanut butter cups, Butterfingers,
Or other grocery store sweeties.
I'm talking about the expensive stuff, most from oversea:
Fruit and nut bars from British Cadbury,
Milk molasses chips from local Mrs. See's,
Fudge Easter Eggs from domestic Helen Grace,
Belgian praline Sea Shells from Leonidas,
Belgian Cote D'Or bouche pralines,
And from Germany's Ritter Sport--EVERYTHING!
Wallowing in glorious chocolate, I'd be so pathetic,
If not for the fact, that I'm a diabetic.


Poem Details | by Lizzy Love |
Categories: animal, candy, food, history, humor, princess,

Let Them Eat Cake

Never a girl 
so pretty as she
hair in pink curls
& a bunny called Dee

So happy together
always best friends
no matter the weather
they'd play til the end

A sweet tooth she had
whipped, frosted & candy coated
it all made her glad
& sometimes even bloated

It happened one Sunday
in the morning she'd wake
they'd all hear her say
"Let them eat cake!"

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, holiday,

No Candy Needed

To save some money on Halloween
I use a technique and must come clean
     Wear a scary disguise
     Children emit loud cries
I laugh as they run away and scream

This is a true tale, I must confess
And it’s surely worked with much success
     Electrifying hair
     Come hither if you dare
The local kids think that I’m possessed!



*Written in honor of John Freeman and his "Boisterous Comedy" contest

Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: body, candy, car, humorous, tiger,

Sophistication 2

Red dress and black bra
Two big Macs
One Pepsi to go
On the road we kiss
At the rest stop comes the bliss

Poem Details | by Poet Destroyer A |
Categories: adventure, candy, halloween, holiday, humorous, imagination,

Going Halloween Crazy

"GOING  HALLOWEEN  CRAZY!"

~Ronald McDonald~
Army of darkness
Agony tears of a clown
Creepy kid smiles 
Everyday is Halloween

      **
~KILL JOY~
Rejection outlay
Spell-caster demon terror 
Assassination 
Bloody murder at the fingertips 

      **
~EXPERATION~
Ivory mountain grave
Skeleton terror of doom 
Where's the buffalo? 
Indian masquerade 

      **
~BEAUTY~
Sky full of beasts
Relevant nights of velvet
Entwine by her bliss
Elvira the night mistress 

 
By:)

Poem Details | by Thaddeus Tarpey |
Categories: halloween, humorous, october,

Candy Corn

When the Autumn sun warms dying stalks
Of corn with unkempt tassel locks.
The earth turns from green to brown,
Candy corn comes to town.

A cackling witch stokes the ember
Smoky spirits escape the timber.
The leaves in trees turn an amber hue,
Candy Corn, I yearn for you.

Across my path a shadow creeps,
Into day, nighttime seeps.
My dreams turn to sugary storms.
Candy corn, keep me warm.

Before I die and decompose,
Let me warm by your coals.
Orange, white, yellow form,
The wonderment of Candy corn.

Poem Details | by Arlene Smith |
Categories: funny, silly,

Sandy's Candy

There was a poor girl named Sandy.
She decided to sell all her candy.

She sold lots of slow pokes
to rich, horny blokes.

Now, she lives in a mansion, so dandy!..

Poem Details | by Mia Harris |
Categories: animal, art, candy, character, kids, funny, inspiration, poetry, silly,

BooVille

Long ago in Booville lived a Doo
Doo had a friend named Rue-Foo
Rue-Foo was obsessed with candy
But he was never handy
Then Rue-Foo found a mooing Phu-boo

Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: funny, baby, baby, candy, me,

Santa Baby

Santa Baby won't you give me some candy tonight
Santa Baby won't you let sit on your lap snuggle 
Up close and kiss goodnight

Santa Baby I need some Christmas lovin' you see
Santa Baby how neat that you came in a box
Spruced up just for me..

Santa Baby won't you give me some candy tonight...
Nite Nite....

In honor of Carolyn..

You know..

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: candy, food, children, health, humor, mom, silly,

The Bribe

Mom don't feed me veggies
Don't put them on my dish
French fries and a hot dog
Is now my only wish
Mayonnaise smothered Tater-Tots
Sure would do the trick
Peas Broccoli, spinach too
Just will make me sick

Carrots, I can't stand them
Oh please, for goodness sake
Don't hide them in a muffin
Or in some kind of cake
Don't add them to my juice
And think it's gonna fly
I said I don't like veggies
I'm telling you no lie

I'm glad you're being sensible
In honoring my wish
I also won't eat liver
or any kind of fish 
Sure, I'd like some candy
Perhaps a slice of pie
Ok, If I have too
I'll give this vegg a try

Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: funny, mystery,

Candy Lips

She wore red candy lips on Halloween They didn't know she was a vampire queen Her kiss was so sweet Swept him off his feet Sadly,no trace of him has ever been seen
Barbara Gorelick 7/21/12

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: candy, humor, humorous, satire, sick, silly, word play,

Give Us A Lickin'

Arianna Grande  (FYI The Actress was recently caught licking an un-purchased donut in a store) 

You can lick my Butter finger
You can lick my Baby Ruth
And even all three musketeers 
If you're in the mood
Mr. GoodBar you can lick it
Oh Henry, lick'em too
But there's one thing little Ari
You must never ever do

You can touch your tongue to Wonka
Swap spit with Almond joy               
Run your lingua 'cross my mounds
Which I'm sure you've done before
Rub saliva on Godiva
You can slime my Hershey's S'mores
But never ever Ari
Touch a Donut in my store  

Poem Details | by Christopher Bunton |
Categories: funny, holiday,

Candy Cane Lane

Down On Candy Cane Lane

Several Elves Burst Into Flame

Rudolph Was Sad

But, Santa Was Mad

Knowing Spiked Eggnog Was To Blame.



Santa Put The Drink On A Shelf

Too High Up For Any Elf.

But, The Elves Formed A Plan

And Hired A Man

Who Took And Drank It Himself.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: candy, food, humorous,

JUSTICE OH SWEET JUSTICE FOR CONTEST

You would always grab the biggest slice of cake - Just ignored the fact that I could see Where there were sweets and treats to share Your hand dipped in first before me Yet when I look in the mirror I’ve still got a cracking figure Now you’re the size of an elephant but YOUR butt is ten times bigger! What is your form of justice Sponsor Tammy Reams Jan Allison 23rd August 2015

Poem Details | by Sarina McConnell |
Categories: candy, cheer up, chocolate, humorous, inspiration, life, wisdom,

Food for Thought

If life is like a box of chocolates,
is it rude to ask for candy?
Can you really say with certainty
that you even understand me?

When life hands you lemons
I think you'd better run.
Cause life can throw a curve ball
and hit you just for fun.

I can do without the chocolates
You can keep your lemons too. 
Life is what you make of it
not what it makes of you.

Poem Details | by Sean Rackley |
Categories: candy, funny,

Snickers

Hungry? Why wait?
Chocolate won't waste
Might go to your waist

Advertising is genius
Packed with peanuts
Quick way to protein us

Calories are king-sized
Due in part to caramelized
Nonetheless, it satisfies

You're not you, man,
When you're hungry for nougat
Share one (with Ted Nugent?)

Candy-licious, a name it needs
How about a Martian steed?
(Gives a flippant, hidden laugh) Indeed

Poem Details | by Israel Curtis C. |
Categories: anger, candy, childhood, emo, funny,

Candy Crush

Candy Crush!
Fired on the first day
Why 
Why
Must you be addicting
Candy Crush
Let's play again

Sweet
Fingertips 
Crushing the screen

I win!

I. Cantu

Poem Details | by Davor Miljkovic |
Categories: candy, chocolate, courage, funny love, sweet,

Your sweet defender

Fruity and chocolate
Cakes and other temptations,
Worry not my dear,
I'll vanquish them all bravely
Before they reach your sweet tooth

Poem Details | by Joyce Johnson |
Categories: funny, candy, sorry,

Penny Wise

“A penny for your thoughts,” he said.
I took his petty penny.
Without a thought within my head,
I did not give him any.

I took his pretty penny
And added it to mine.
I did not give him any,
On candy I could dine.

I added it to mine,
Laughed at him when he cried.
On candy I could dine.
I wasn’t sorry I had lied.

Laughed at him when he cried
Without a thought within my head,
I wasn’t sorry I had lied.
“A penny for your thoughts,” he said.



Poem Details | by Skylee Jones |
Categories: children, funny,

Andy got no Candy

Andy dressed up in a costume
to do tricks for his treats.
He stept outside and tripped,
on the tail of his monkey suit.
The kids laughed and pointed.
Poor Andy ran away ,
no candy in hand.