Humorous and funny Car poems and/or funny poems about Car. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Car funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Car Poems.
angst, daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, love, car,
Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '
'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust!
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.
'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much,
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'!
Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.
The day started badly as I had a bat flattery on my vodge diper
It was roaring with pain when I arrived at the par cark at the mall
Went to put my bopping in the shoot and I turned into a bowel feast
I’d had a blushing crow… there was a rent in the dear
It had been hit by a bunken drum - I was mopping had!
He tried to apologise but was whiring his slords
I got out my phobile moan and a policeman cook my tall
He arrived at the mall in his canda par at the lead of spite
After my lad buck I went home to tell dumb and mad
Dad teased my ears, said I could use the buttle shush until it was mended
Contest: Spoonerisms Sponsored by Roy Jerden
Dorian Petersen Potter
car, friend, friendship, funny, giggle, halloween, humorous,
I have a friend by the name of Tim,
He keeps in shape when frequents the gym.
His Kelly green Mustang he drove
And smack'd it into a cove.
The witches got him and ate one of his limbs!
I’m stuck in traffic
Crawling like a slimy slug
Why call it rush hour?
4th April 2015
car, for her, humorous,
Andrea was late - drove at the speed of light
Traffic cops chased her - she got such a fright
The cop got out his book
Gave her a stern look
She’s off to traffic school so she now gets it right
Posted with full permission of Andrea (speedy) Dietrich
2nd April 2015
family, funny, happiness, passion, people, sports, car,
My dream car is known to be one of muscle,
which can quickly get up and hustle.
The year would have to be nineteen hundred and Sixty nine,
best year of Camaro to come off the production line.
Orange in color with white racing stripes that line the hood,
along with new aluminum rims would be good.
Its engine would be a three twenty seven,
bearing a Holley Carb would be heaven.
To take it out on the road for a test,
assuredly it would be the best.
I would wash and wax it night and day,
in the garage is where it would stay.
Oh how that would be the car for me,
unfortunately one I’ll never see.
Robert L. Hinshaw
When I was about sixteen I bought my first car a '37 Ford.
I thought I was hot stuff as about the town I roared!
It had straight pipes and a radio from which the music blared,
But for some reason my feckless youth the cops never shared!
Nowadays, kids with their noisy heaps drive me up the wall!
Their vexatious boom boxes and roaring pipes I can't tolerate at all!
They pull up beside me, flex their middle finger and with a silly grin,
Roar away leaving me in a cloud of dust much to my chagrin!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
Entry for Sara Hendrick's "Two Lenses" Contest
By Elton Camp
Tex had a longhorn he hoped to sell
But it was too dirty to do very well
It’d been lolling in the mud and dust
To get it all cleaned up was a must
So Tex pulled into the car wash bay
He put in coins and began to spray
He washed the critter nose to tail
Got it all ready for the cattle sale
But loading it back onto the truck
He got gored and was out of luck
So here’s the moral to this tale
Wash a cow and it may impale
My driving I thought was sublime
But I failed my test the first time
Staring down at the wheel
It was hard to conceal
That failure to me was a crime
So I applied to take another test
Very determined I would try my best
I answered every question
And I drove to perfection
The examiner was very impressed!
Second Chance Contest
Sponsored by Nayda Ivette Negron
animals, funny, imaginationcar, car, horse,
There was a man who had a horse
Means of friendship and transportation of course
Everywhere the man did go horse was there for show
This horse began old to grow
To the used car lot the man did go
Selecting a car with many horses you know
Not knowing it was a lemon he bought
Now on the car he constantly sought
Parts to replace what would not go and
On one side the man would stand
Peering into the broken car with plan
On a stump on the other side
The horse would stand trying to guide
His friend on where the problem did lie
Also he was studying the working parts
Trying to figure out how all those horses fit inside
car, funny, humorous, women,
Instead of being a chick magnet, my vehicle is a curse.
No woman will go out with me because I own a hearse.
I bought my hearse because it runs great and it was dirt cheap.
But when women see it, they slap my face and call me a creep.
I finally got a date with the woman of my dreams.
But when she saw my hearse, she ran and screamed.
Women don't want to make out where corpses have been.
Because of my vehicle, they won't date me, they find other men.
If you already have a bad love life, making my mistake will only make it worse.
Women will not date a man if he drives a hearse.
(I got the idea for this poem from a TV show that I saw.)
Beige sport's car with fifty-nine thousand miles.
Rag top (original color - brown).
Engine still runs great, but frame might
need some work. Body ok.
Awesome wheels and front end.
Fuel efficient too.
Sour Rita is a meter maid
she’s checking car drivers have paid
if you step out of line
she will issue a fine
of Rita drivers are afraid
Her beady eyes dart round the lot
she’s looking for folk who forgot
to pay and display
and it makes her day
to impose a fine like a shot
From fining she’ll never deter
don’t attempt to reason with her -
just zip up your gob
she’s doing her job
next journey arrange a chauffeur!
my redneck car is no junk
eight cylinders, what a hunk
beer cans over the floor
to enter there’s no door
the back seat is sometimes my bunk
Poetry Contest: LIMERICK CONTEST II - FOR FUN
Sponsored by: JAN ALLISON
Freddie Robinson Jr.
car, humor, satire, trust,
Me and my mechanic,
we be tight
Whenever my ride goes down,
he get it running right
My mechanic is a real auto pro,
when I send my car to him,
nowhere else do I need go
And on top of that,
he works with your checkbook,
he's very affordable
If you don't have a mechanic like mine,
when your car stops running, you're gonna be
reaching deep in your pockets every time
Paying for this, paying for that
Paying til you're down to your last dime,
and you're broke and have to walk
I suggest you walk right on over
to this good mechanic of mine,
he'll get your car back running fine ...
and leave some money in your pocket too
Saving you some leather on the bottom of your shoe
Mark J. Halliday
car, desire, humor, lust, nonsense, silly, wife,
Thou shalt not covet
Thy neighbor's wife, nor his ***...
YOU mean his Corvette?
My Janky Car
crowed parking lot,
cars going every which way,
the window roll down,
You need to get a....,
life, I thought she'd say,
but, new car I heard her scream,
laughed oh so hard did I,
screaming woman now transformed,
confused and irritated woman,
laughing still I drive away,
If only that woman knew,
3 x's a day I'd say,
I need to get a new car,
though meaning to offend,
we strongly agreed,
not the reaction she wanted from me,
Ha ha He he.
funny, car, old, car, old, sports,
My very first car was, I think,
a Monza, which was rosy pink.
At a somewhat cheap price,
that old sports car was nice,
but my luck with her sure did stink!
Cleaned and polished, she was looking fine;
I was happy to claim her as mine
although she was such
a hog! On too much
gasoline that old sports car would dine!
On a big trip I took her; I cried
to find out that her engine was fried.
From a crack in her block
she stopped working. Tick Tock!
Time is short; in six weeks she had died!
body, candy, car, humorous, tiger,
Red dress and black bra
Two big Macs
One Pepsi to go
On the road we kiss
At the rest stop comes the bliss
daughter, funny, life
She and vehicles,
No quarter given
And none asked on either side.
The metal beasts smell money,
Wound themselves to devour it.
It doesn't matter
How she tries to hide her cash -
Spitefully they sniff it out
And die gleefully,
Knowing she must resurrect
Their thankless, thieving thick hides.
O you willful ones,
You steelclad dromedaries,
Do you think you can defeat
The Mighty Bulldog?
She never wants Will - just Ways.
Once found - you're dispensible.
car, humor, image,
Are you aware of what values
and dreams that are important in life
All humans have values
Memories for life
A photograph you will never forget
In the future, grandchildren will laugh
Grandma and Grandpa forever
Respect for human actions
Freedom - (grandpa's pants :)
Security - (grandma still inn the car :)
Courage and perseverance
Friendship and fellow human - (ready to rescue)
Confidence - (no worry :)
Humor in a tragedy
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
car, funny, humor, humorous, nonsense, technology,
The car must become a freethinker
Case someone it might greatly injure
It clearly must steer
And brake and change gear
And give other bad drivers the finger
car, confusion, drink, flower, giggle, humor, humorous,
There once was a thief from Chile
Who liked to drink milk with a lilly.
Well the judge was aghast
When examining his past,
But decided he was just silly.
angst, funny, loss, car, car,
(This is a fictional poem)
The car I bought wasn't as fast as the previous owner said.
I'm going to kick his ___ and give him some serious wounds to his head.
I raced the car last night and I bet the pink slip.
The other guy blew me off the road, what a jip.
When he demanded my keys, he and I had some words.
I told him to go to hell and then I gave him the bird.
He has big muscles as well as a car that's fast.
When I gave him the finger, he kicked my ___.
I put bruises on his hands when he put bruises on my face.
That's the last time that I'll drag race.
car, humor, husband, love, wife,
The neighbors were running in fear
As into front room car did steer
What fate had approved
His words soon removed
Your parking’s improving my dear