Humorous and funny Children poems and/or funny poems about Children. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Children funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Children Poems.
analogy, appreciation, character, destiny, children, funny, nonsense,
Me myself and I
were talking to myselve's
when we asked us a question
and they were not themselves.
They themselves and them
now questioning themselves
said we were not like them
and had to be yourselves.
You yourselve's and you
now separate from myselve's
meant you could not be me
and we could be ourselves.
I cannot whistle
It's sad but true
I try and try
yet no sound comes through
My lips I purse
My teeth I grit
I try real hard
but blow out spit
child, childhood, children, christian, christmas, funny, mom,
by the pane
I see shapes
Smells like mum
her perfume... ?
children, humorous, kid,
what's a man to do
when he meets a kangaroo
and the kangeroo's called Andrew
he said how do you do
can you help me out I'm new
I'm a kangaroo called Andrew
is it really true
you're a talking kangeroo
and your name is somehow Andrew
he said yes sir it is true
and you can't spell kangeroo
now can you
No I'm a kangaroo
children, family, humor, husband, imagery, stress,
Monday Morning Madness
Just because the morning starts
like the morning straight from hell,
and the little one is screaming
and you need a magic spell,
just because you burned the pancakes
and the bacon, well it’s crisp,
do not rant and rave and stutter
or you’ll acquire a nasty lisp!
If your husband’s little habits
drive you batty, do not fret,
but don’t fill his cup with poison;
well, perhaps at least not yet!
If the dog destroyed your curtains
and your mother-in-law is back,
and you hurt your precious pinky
when you tried to nail a tack,
do not turn suicidal
and do not give up, no way!
After all it’s just the morning!
You still have the whole damn day!
childhood, education, children, funny, dog, dog,
I didn’t do my math homework!
I watched T.V instead!
I better come up with an excuse... and quick!
Or else I’m surely dead!
My brother tore it!
It’s in the garbage!
Mom says it causes brain damage!
My power was out!
I had the flu!
I was having trouble excreting my poo!
You know, why even bother?
My excuses are so lame!
I know! My dog ate my homework!
Now to find a dog I can blame...
My mum just made me a pancake,
So very round and flat,
I put ice-cream and honey on,
Then ate it where I sat.
The taste is quite enormous,
It sweetens all your mouth,
Mum asked, " Where's the pancake gone? "
I said, "I think it headed south."
food, children, funny, happiness, imagination, uplifting,
It wiggles and jiggles
and feels fun to the touch,
a cinch to make;
something everyone loves.
There are a million flavours,
many are fat free,
jello has been around
for many centuries.
The colours are as vibrant
as a peacock's quills
just pick your favourite;
add water, and let chill.
For something so simple
to bring such pleasure,
it is one of life's mysteries,
that everyone treasures.
So lets pause for a moment
and give thanks to jello;
for who doesn't smile,
at the options of jello.
bird, children, hilarious,
Little men making laws
Little men seeking flaws
Little men laughing at the meek
Little men weaker than wounded sheep
Oh little men, come ye here
I shall score and brand you till you tear
You will whimper and cry out for the savoir
All due to your immature and cruel behavior
children, funny, on work and working,
The sea was unusually wavy,
When a cook in the Royal Navy,
With a roll of the ship,
Inundating his captain with gravy.
children, humorous, parents,
Small babies are unpredictable just like the weather
Often wet; with sudden outbreaks of terrible wind
But would I have altered anything, no never …
Being a parent, you become very thick skinned!
Sponsor: Silent One
family, children, funny, happiness, inspirational, love
Why are you so grumpy?
Pray, what made you so?
What gave rise to those dark eyes,
and snivel on your nose?
Why are you so grumpy?
-Don't give me the charade!
I see through that bright red nose,
upon that white clown face!
Why are you so grumpy?
Oh, come now, don't hold back.
I know you know that I know well,
the way you always act.
You cover and hide,
and hurry your stride,
you act as though I'm clueless.
Pout and weep,
mumble and freep,
I know that's no word, BUT YOU DO IT!
So if you're feelin' grumpy,
don't let that raincloud set.
The day that comes after this one,
could be your greatest yet!
children, humor, summer,
On a sweltering summer day,
Mr. Crocodile's come to stay.
Slithering into shops and stores,
every cold thing he devours.
Children's mouths drop and drool.
They see what's keeping him so cool!
Cats and dogs linger at his feet,
licking up drippings, of sweet, stolen treats.
Cops and fire trucks roar down the block,
with their sirens blaring, chasing Mr. Crock.
Toddler's cry while their mother's scream,
to see him eating all the town's ice cream.
children, kids, funny, humor, magic, school,
I wish I was a wizard,
I would wave my wand at school,
I’d melt the maths books magically,
And conjure cool new rules.
I’d party in the playground,
Casting silly spells all day,
Then turn the teachers into toads,
And help them hop away. Hooray!
Write a funny Poem for a 7 year old
Sponsored by Kevin Shaw
Sometimes cakes are upside down,
And brownies are not always brown.
A steak should not be made of wood,
And well done doesn’t mean it’s good.
Sometimes food is sweet and sour,
Petals are not found in flour.
It’s fair to say before they’re eaten
Spuds get mashed and eggs get beaten.
Sugar often gets dissolved,
But there’s no cruelty involved.
One gastronomic puzzle lingers,
What kind of fish is born with fingers?
There once was a man with spaghetti for hair
It was long. It was stringy, and it flew everywhere
It was white. It was sticky. It collected in clumps.
It was covered in sauce, and meatballs, and junk.
So I went to the man with spaghetti for hair,
And I said, "Pasta guy, could I ask if I dare?"
I said, "Aren't you embarrased?" and he said, "Not at all!"
He said, "Everyone's different. Some are short. Some are tall.
But I'm one of a kind. And I'm sure you can see,
That in this whole wide world there's nobody like me.
And if I get hungry, and there's no one there,
I just reach up and grab a big bite of my hair!"
children, funny, loss, time,
Long ago, when I was young,
Before my hearing began to fail,
Why, I could hear a boll weevil
Tiptoe across a cotton bale.
But many years have come and gone;
The ghetto blaster took its toll.
Now I couldn't hear an elephant
Dance in clogs with wooden soles.
children, funny, life,
One cold day, I was burning up
The rain outside was dry
The sunshine, mooned each falling star
Out there, inside was I
Reading, when I'm fast asleep
I saw no movement stand
I reached without and outstretched arm
to flick the fly that land
Bouncing, being very still
I thought it lively, dying
When up it sprang, just flatly
All it's energy, spent trying
Salt I sprinkled, as it poured
Atop, the underneath, it's belly
Finally flopping, to and fro
Then landing in my jelly
dream, children, humor, literature, lost,
Yesterday, in bright sunlight
I turned and looked
No shadow, what a fright
Am I a ghost? So I pinched
Awakening from my dream
At the break of dawn
Getting ready to scream
Instead gave a mighty yawn
I am like Peter Pan in Kensington
Perhaps I left my shadow in bed
Be brave and carry on
Is what I said
Shadow lost and found
To life, I am bound
Yesterday's shadow was on the ground
Sewn on without a sound
children, funny, happiness, uplifting,
There was a boy named Charlie who loved to climb trees.
You could always recognize him by his scraped up knees.
When his mother would tell him to come inside
he'd climb up his favorite tree and hide.
You could hear the siren as the firemen zoomed through town.
They had, just had to get that little boy on the ground.
The people would say, "There goes Charlie climbing that tree."
They really shouldn't say that because this time it was me!
children, funny, people,
An Indian chief, named Bold Eagle,
Once lived with his faithful old beagle.
He maintained his station,
In a style that was in tents, but regal.
cat, children, fantasy, fun, humor,
I Do not want a window seat .
I do not want to freeze my feet..
I do not want a waiter cat .
I do not like his pin striped hat..
I do not want him to touch my food.
And how he speaks is down right Rude..
So won't you take my order Jerry.
I know the menu, and I'm in quite the hurry..
Scrapple , egg and cheese on toast,
that is the meal I love the most..
The tall cat can have his green eggs and ham.
He's not from Philly but Sam I Am..
children, funny, imagination,
Patty Potter bought a pot of pewter.
Yes, Patty Potter bought a pewter pot.
Patty Potter paid a pretty penny
For the pretty pot of pewter Patty got.
animals, children, funny,
A dashing, young field mouse
Once married a shrew,
And they set up housekeeping
In an old tennis shoe.
When their babies were born--
Not shrews and not mice--
They were the proud parents
Of a shoe full of shrice.
Jessica Amanda Salmonson
animal, children, humorous, nature, nursery rhyme, pets, violence,
You shouldn't poke at monkeys
unless you're a dummkopf
Who gets precisely what's deserved --
your fingers bitten off.