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Funny Poems About Christmas or Christmas Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Christmas poems and/or funny poems about Christmas. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Christmas funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Christmas Poems.

Poem Details | by Linda-Marie SweetHeart |
Categories: funny,

12 Days of Christmas Craves

"12 Days of Christmas Craves" On the twelfth day of Christmas My true love sent to me 12 twinkling tiaras Eleven emerald elephants Ten Tiffany trinkets Nine naughty negligees Eight echoing elves Seven sequined stars Six sexy singers Five fake fingernails s s s Four furry foxes Three tingling tamborines Two turtledoves And peach tree in pail via e-mails s s s. *For P.D.'S 12 Days of Christmas. *Written by: Linda-Marie "Sweetheart".


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

CHRISTMAS TREE FAIRY

She fell from the top of the Christmas tree Bumped her head and said ‘oh deary me’ With pine needles sticking in various places The Christmas tree fairy pulled funny faces Jan Allison 5th December 2014 Not for Contest

Poem Details | by Joyce Johnson |
Categories: humor,

Christmas Clerihew

Dickens' Jacob Marley
favored drink made from barley,
died before Ebenezer,
that stingy old geezer.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: christmas, humorous,

YOU'D BETTER NOT POUT

You got a duff gift from your ‘mate’ Too large, in a colour you hate It simply won’t fit You’ll never wear it No nookie mate now you can wait! 12~28~14 A Quintain Christmas - Andrea Dietrich ~awarded 3rd place~


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: christmas, funny, holiday,

Christmas Wishes for You

For anyone struggling in the holiday season!!

Although there's nothing much that I could add
to all the Christmas wishes ever made,
I'll wish for you that traffic won't be bad
the day you shop and that you may get paid
some kind of Christmas bonus for a change,
and when beneath the mistletoe you stand,
I hope you're not approached by someone strange,
but rather by a stranger who is grand!
And should you be so childish (I mean bold)
to ice skate on a lake or board the snow,
I pray for you that you don't catch a cold
or break a leg as down some hill you go.
My wishes, like my gifts, are kind of cheap;
May faith in them require no giant leap!

Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: christmas, hilarious,

Oh Christmas Tree

Oh Christmas tree
Oh Christmas tree
Oh no I’m singing to a Christmas tree

Rum eggnog in me
Rum eggnog in me
Oh no I’m singing to the Christmas tree

Oh Christmas tree
Oh Christmas tree
Much pleasure thou can give me

Oh mistletoe 
Oh mistletoe 
I’hve a Christmas tree I want to show

Oh Christmas tree
Oh Christmas tree
Oh, I just kissed a Christmas tree

Oh Christine tee hee
Oh Christine tee hee
I thought you was a Christmas tree

No more rum for me
No more rum for me

Or my wife will toss me out
With the Christmas tree


Notes: I have no wife, and I have no tree, I may have some rum, but shhhhhh

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: christmas, humorous,

YOU MUST LOOK AFTER YOUR ELF

Santa’s little helper felt poorly sick Couldn’t deliver presents for Saint Nick His red nose was gleaming Blue eyes they were streaming I hope that Santa will give him some Vick 24th December 2014

Poem Details | by Arlene Smith |
Categories: christmas, funny, silly,

You'd Better Not Pout

Kicking Santa is not nice to do.
Chuck Norris has replaced him, 'tis true.
You'd better not pout,
or a swollen snout,
and a stocking of whoop-*** for you!
12/21/14 Contest: A Quintain Christmas Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich

Poem Details | by Sean Kelly |
Categories: funny, seasons, thank you, christmas, christmas,

A LIMERICK CHRISTMAS THREE (3) .

Mrs. Santa on last Christmas Eve
Was so naughty , at trying to deceive.
Not the slightest bit coy
When she met her toy~boy....
Now , believe what YOU want to believe .


Rudolf the randy raindeer
Took his lady friend out for a beer.
Then he took off his clothes.
Showed~off his red nose..
Saying.. who the hell said, I was *****...


What's the worst place at Christmas to be ?
Perhaps a turkey~dish laced with gravy....
It's more painful and airy
To be some poor fairy
With your +++  on the top of the tree .
 

A COOL YULE , TO ALL YOU GOOD SOUPERS.....



Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: christmas, humorous,

CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOOTLES

Bad gifts Cause rifts Be rash Spend cash Debit Credit Worthwhile Their smile 20th December 2014

Poem Details | by Sandra Haight |
Categories: christmas, funny,

Rudolph Clerihew

Rudolph Clerihew

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Lights up Santa’s path to steer.
For his nose to last through the night,
He sunbathes to charge up his light!


© Sandra M. Haight 2014 
   All Rights Reserved

~5th Place~
Contest: A Chrismas Character Clerihew
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich


Poem Details | by PAT Adams |
Categories: christmas, holiday, horror, humor,

Santa's Bad Day

The elves filled Santa's sack with toys
For all the good little girls and boys

When he lifted it up he used his back
Instead of his legs and he tore his sack

An elf gave a band-aid to Santa, their proctor
Santa said, "No, I need to go to a doctor"

But sadly a doctor he would do without
There was no time, so he started his route

He stood up in the sleigh, his jewels in a brace
Yelling, "OW, Merry Christmas!", all over the place!

Poem Details | by Kim Rodrigues |
Categories: humor,

CHRISTMAS CATACLYSM

Christmas day on planet E
each pine tree
deliciously planted
uprooted

the sky is tinsillated, stars replaced by screwy bulbs

and to top it all off – mind you, like a cherry on top

a fat man in a red suit is flying through outer space

a  U N I V E R S A L  catastrophe 


Poem Details | by Doris Culverhouse |
Categories: funny, holiday

Christmas Sunshine

Make us some sunshine for Christmas Santa
It's mighty gloomy here, grey clouds over head
Put the color back into the day and moon light in the night
Bring me a tender heart and may kind words overflow

Santa you can bring it, bring it like no other
Call on the heavens to roll back the clouds
Warm my muscles and calm the aches
I won't ask for nothin' else Santa

Just put a warm glow in the sky!

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: christmas, humorous,

SNOWBALLS FRIGHT - bawdy limerick

Poor Frosty was built upside down and quickly he’s talk of the town He’s not wearing his smalls so folks see his snowballs - his smile soon turns into a frown! When Santa learns of Frosty’s plight he orders some work late that night So his wife Mrs Clause knits Frosty some new drawers - but his ‘carrot’ doesn’t hang right! *drawers classed as one syllable as per the UK pronunciation of the word Both limericks 8,8,6,6,8 Christmas Limericks Old or New Contest Sponsored by Carolyn Devonshire Edited 11/30/18

Poem Details | by Paul Callus |
Categories: funny,

A Light-Hearted Christmas


 late at night
 a shepherd
 woke his wife

 I saw...heard
 angels sing
 in the sky!

 it’s the wine
 she mumbled
 or UFOs!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
In this case UFOs is 2 syllables
Contest by Charles Messina
Placed 2nd
© 18th December 2018

Poem Details | by Nina Parmenter |
Categories: christmas, cute, fun, humor,

Cute Christmas Couplet

The snowman gave his lady love a present so heartfelt,
That, sad to say, her frosty little heart began to... melt.


17 December 2018
For Andrea Dietrich’s Cute Christmas Couplet Contest

Poem Details | by Subimal Sinha-Roy |
Categories: christmas, funny,

Cute Christmas Couplet


Sliding down in a hurry the chimney chute Santa lost his boot
As return gift cute the damsel gave a sock for frostbitten foot. 

December 18, 2018

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: christmas, humorous,

Frosty The Snowman


Did you hear about Frosty The Snowman?

   His reign didn't play out according to plan.

      Neighborhood dogs peed on him yellow.

         He was one most mortified young fellow!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSGT, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved

Entry for Andrea Dietrich's "A Christmas Character Clerihew" Contest

Poem Details | by Arlene Smith |
Categories: christmas, funny, silly,

Santa Clause

On Cristmas Eve, comes Santa Clause,
stuffing tons of cookies in his jaws.
It's no wonder he's Jolly and fat;
I would be too, if I ate like that.

Poem Details | by Sunshine Smile |
Categories: food, funny,

- CHRISTMAS DINNER -


To the cook: 
Thank you for the main course at our beautiful Christmas dinner ...... 
now you can rest, dessert is on the table.
And I'll do the dishes.


19.12.2012
A-L  Andresen :)

Poem Details | by Keith Trestrail |
Categories: boy, christmas, humorous,

Confessions of a Teenage Boy

This year I asked Santa for a Harley
and a flagon of wine made of barley.
  Then I asked God alone
  for an angel of my own...
no, not one of His, one of Charlie's!


           December 2015


      

As a teenage boy I loved Cheryl Ladd.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: christmas, humorous,

BLACK FRIDAY

Bargains galore!
Lots of people out shopping
All looking for that special gift
Carrier bags bulging
Keep an eye on the spending

Frazzled tempers
Riots break out
I got the LAST one
Don’t ever want to go shopping again
All I want is to go home
Yipee  ... only 365 days till we do it all over again!!!

Jan Allison
27th November 2014

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: anti bullying, christmas, humorous,

Ralphie Parker Vis-a-Vis Scud Farkus

It seems that even-tempered Ralphie Parker,

   Had a side to him that was somewhat darker.

      Ralphie lost his cool with his mortal protagonist,

         And bloodied the beak of Farkus his antagonist!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved

Poem Details | by Rick Parise |
Categories: christmas, funny,

Ole' Saint Nick



Too many cookies for "Ole' Saint Nick"
he got hung up on a brick
wedged in the flue
his red cheeks turned to blue...