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Funny Poems About Dad or Dad Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Dad poems and/or funny poems about Dad. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Dad funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Dad Poems.

Poem Details | by Maureen McGreavy The Pigeon Tart |
Categories: father, humor, mother,

My Dad Is Dead, I Think

Try to recall
What was he like?
Seems so long ago
Years and fathers alike.

Was he the second,
Or maybe the third?
So many behind me
My memory is blurred.

My mom's average is low,
Two years at the most;
Believe me twelve fathers
Is nothing to boast.

He looked so familiar,
How could I forget?
Was he my real dad?
I fill with regret,

For now he lies buried
Six feet below.
Was he my real dad?
I may never know.




circa 1989


Poem Details | by Ronald D Thompson |
Categories: humorous, silly,

Why am I so cold dad

‘Why am I so cold dad, the cold I cannot cut?'
‘Well it’s snowing really hard son and icy underfoot.’
‘But my brothers and my sisters, it doesn’t bother them,
so why am I so cold and from where does all this stem?’
‘I wouldn’t really worry son but I couldn’t say for sure,
at the moment as far as I’m concerned there’s no specific cure!’
‘But why am I so cold dad it really isn’t fair?
I shouldn’t be this cold dad for I’m a polar bear!’

Poem Details | by Sarah Cassleman |
Categories: dad, family, funny, grandfather, grandmother, mother, mom, dad, dad, mom,

My Heritage

My heritage is a mixture
Of backgrounds.  Let's start on 
My Dad's side of the family.

My Dad's mom is Irish and English.

My Dad's dad is Irish and German.

My Mom's mom is Scottish and Irish.

My Mom's dad is blood Hungarian.

So in other words,
I'm a mutt!  or as others say,
"Heinz 57!"

Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: fantasy, funny,

How Tweety Boid Fwew Dad Cooky-Coup

Otay! I’m an alien, toe what?
I used to wive on the pwanet Pwuto
Too told! TOE, I fwew to the moon
BOOOW-ING! (Eveeting too white!)
Toe I fwuttered down to Waw Tageles
Where I betame a BIG movie tar

Dey trew a party for my pwemier
but a bwack fuwwy fewine cwashed it!
Yep, I taw dat puddy-tat teak in too
Den he tunned me wit his tun gun!
Wucky for me, I dot away tumhow 
Now I got dis widdle speech intetiment…

PS: Ewmer Fudd and me have become wather cwose since then because he had a 
similar expewience when Bugs Bunny conked him on the head with an oversized 
cawwot...

Poem Details | by John Posey |
Categories: dad, family, father daughter, humorous, sister,

Daddy's Mantel Clock

Daddy had a mantel clock on that shelf above the fire. I remember how it sometimes seemed to call my Sis a liar. Sis would be out on a date and the wheels of time would turn My dad, it seemed would always be awake when she returned. Now Daddy was quite strict on Sis – at nine she must be in. And she was in real trouble if it was as late as ten. “Darlin’, what’s the time?” he’d yell as she slipped in.. “Daddy, it’s about nine,” she’d shout, as that old clock struck ten. Written By John Posey 12/25/12

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: angel, baby, child, child abuse, divorce, giggle, humor,

Nerd Dad

There once was a child with a rattle
Who liked to crawl around cattle.
Til its mom found out
And to her ex did shout,
You just lost your custody battle.

Poem Details | by Andrew Crisci |
Categories: beautiful, child, dad, holocaust, humor, life, war,

Guido's Humorous Laughter

How could a father tell his son
that seeing people boarding 
trains and sleeping in bunker 
beds was only a silly game? 
I'm sure, he never meant to lie!

And that innocent child
went along having fun;
his dad told him to behave,
promising him a large tank.

Guido's humorous laughter
was the mask he wore
to shield him from terror.

Not thinking his dad would be shot,  
he smiled when soldiers took him away.

The war ended, he got a ride in a tank!


Favorite movie: Life Is Beautiful

Poem Details | by J.W. Earnings |
Categories: angst, confusion, crazy, dad, environment, father, fear, feelings, kids, funny, growing up, how i feel, inspiration, life, lost, memory, pain, stress, time, words, youth,

Forgetfulness x-x

Oh no!! I forgot – I had a plate of dessert In the cool freezer Oh no!! Dad forgot – He left his blue bowl of fruit On the clean counter!

Poem Details | by Michael Campbell |
Categories: children, dad, grandparents, growing up, humorous, love, simple,

Boys

Running
Leaping
Spinning 
Crashing
Running, leaping, wild,
Like a blur, my spinning, crashing, child.

Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: grandfather, humorous,

Limerick: Once a Lonely Grand-Dad in a Log-Jam

Limerick : Once a Lonely Grand-Dad in a Log-Jam

Once a Lonely Grand-Dad in a Log-Jam
Paid an urgent visit to a Grande-Dame*
She lifted the stuck log
During Pea-Souper smog
Damn ! Got carried down Grand-Dad Rapids – Wham !

* Dame : pronounced as in French
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013

Poem Details | by Raj Napal |
Categories: children, culture, dad, hair, humor, society, teen,

Man Bun

My son is growing a man bun.
I don’t know how big it’ll be when he’s done.
He’s only sixteen you know and at his age it’s fun.
So I’ll just watch but if it gets too big, I’ll have to run.

My son is growing a man bun.
I don’t know how big it’ll be when he’s done.
He’s only sixteen you know and at his age it’s fun.
So I’ll just watch, but if it gets too big, I’ll have to run.

I told him to grow a man beard, a big bushy one, like mine.
But, he tells me that’s not for him as he’ll look like a bum.
What! Is he saying his dad is a bum and dumb?
Well, he’s a kid; he’ll be different when he grows into a man!

Poem Details | by Joe Flach |
Categories: funny

Pilot Dad

There once was a pilot from Alpine
Who became a father in month nine
Took her to the hangar
Where inside he did bang ‘er
But like his plane, didn’t pull out in time

Poem Details | by Larry Belt |
Categories: funny

Disco Dad


I first learned to dance when I was four
But my kids won't let me do it no more
They say I look like a perv
The way I wiggle a swerve
They say I even embarrass the floor

Poem Details | by Rodgers Roger |
Categories: baby, funny, hero, inspiration, memorial day,

Old son, Young Dad

He died forty
with strength and wit
He left a son Young and young

He died nighty 
With bones no teeth
He left a boy pale and forty

They meet in paradise
Dad still forty
Son at nighty
Dad thought it was grand pa
Son thought he was grand son
Who had died also


Poem Details | by POET. UNDERTAKER |
Categories: humor,

My faculty,my Dad


Once there was a man called Hot, the thief
Crash and Smoke are his favorite disciples
Crash profess "Hell the modesty"
Smoke profess "Pray the modesty"
bloody what could be a common cause?

Poem Details | by Brenda McGrath |
Categories: christian, dad, father, humorous, religious,

Little Georgia Peach

She was a Preacher’s daughter and a little Georgia peach,
With a slow southern drawl in her unassuming speech.
Blonde hair, blue eyes, and a shape that caught the eye,
Which made her God-fearing father just want to sigh…

He preached in his sermons to turn the other cheek,
But she had to conquer an unrelenting stubborn streak.
“Stay on the straight and narrow,” her Dad warned her with a frown.
“God is watching up there… you don’t want to let Him down.”


Poem Details | by Darlene Gifford |
Categories: child, dad, humor,

Daddy Neck Stretchers

A long neck giraffe,
I saw at the zoo.
And I wished my head
could be up high, too!


Daddy, I asked,
Why is my neck so small?
I want a giraffe's neck,
long and tall.

Then I could touch
the sky so blue,
just like the giraffe's
with his neck-tall view.

I need a neck stretcher.
Daddy, please get me one.
To be high up in the air,
would be so much fun!

Suddenly, Up!  Up!  Up!
I felt myself rise!
With my head in the clouds,
I was no longer kid sized.

Next to the giraffe,
I sat proud and tall.
My daddy's the best
neck stretcher of all.

Poem Details | by Fritz Purdum |
Categories: children, dad, food, funny, silly,

Another Bowl of Spaghetti

Our taste buds have gone sad
It is the fault of Dad
Since Mom's been gone
He's feeding us all wrong

Now it's not that we are upset
It's just that we object
For three meals a day
Another bowl of spaghetti

At first we were pleased
We had plenty of cheese
But Mom were about to flip
Come back from your business trip

Dad's heart is right
He thinks his spaghetti a delight
But even chef Boyardee
Had some variety

No use to complain
Every meal is the same
Three times a day
Another bowl of spaghetti


Poem Details | by Elton Camp |
Categories: funny,

When Dad Is a Biology Major

When Dad is a Biology Major

By Elton Camp

I liked to give an answer complete
With specific details to be replete

Child’s, “What are girls made of?”
Brought information too far above

C, H, N, O and not too many more
The explanation proved to be a bore

Nitrogenous bases purine & pyrimidine
Are found in the DNA molecule I mean

Adenine, guanine, thymine, cytosine
With P and deoxyribose sugar are seen

In this wonderful helix they all lie
“Daughter, you can see it if you try.”

My answer was far too complex
About replication, gametes and sex

Since all she was really asking to hear
Was repeat of a nursery rhyme, I fear

Poem Details | by Reason A. Poteet |
Categories: 11th grade, children, dad, humor, mom,

Tongue - Twister

Mama Price has gone shopping; Papa orders pizza.
Pandemonium proves itself at the supper table.
Papa answers the phone, while the Price clan depletes a
whole double-large pizza and sides before he is able

to say goodbye.  Pat pitches Pete breadsticks without stopping;
Pete pilches Phil's bacon bits and cheese and throws them at Pippa
Big brother Phil picks off Pippa's pepperoni topping.
Pampered Pippa pouts and pipes up, "I'm gonna tell papa..."

prompting an expected chant - "Papa's pet's a party pooper."
Post haste, Papa returns passing out in a stupor.

November 3, 2016



Poem Details | by Julie Grenness |
Categories: business, celebration, cheer up, dad, family, giggle, mom,

A Bar at Target

TARGET'S BAR!!

"If only Target had a bar,
We'd all be happier by far,"
Say all the Ma's and Pa's 
"It would be wundebar!"
If only Target had a bar....
"Where are your Pa's?"
Ask all the Ma's.
"Pa's holding up the bar!
Bar fridge is not too far!"
"Wundebar, Wundebar!"
Think all the Ma's...
"We can max out our credit cards!
We can send the bills to Pa's!
Wundebar, Wundebar...:
If only Target had a bar.....

Poem Details | by Indiana Shaw |
Categories: dad, humor, satire, son,

Lesson's Learnt

No offence intended to anyone from Caerphilly or Wales itself. . . 
Twaz the only place I could find it to rhyme with . . . : )


There was young man from Caerphilly
Who was always playing with his willy
Till one day the darn thing just dropped off
A shout from his da working up from aloft
I told you son - never play with your bits willy nilly
Indiana . . . ; )

Poem Details | by Samantha Farley |
Categories: dad, humorous, mom,

After eight

Dear mother
Worn out
Doth smother 
Her daughters
With boredom
And nothing to do

Dear father 
No doubt
Won’t bother
To listen
To daughters
For he’s tired too

Poem Details | by Julie Grenness |
Categories: dad, family, father, giggle, growing up, river, time,

MY FATHER USED TO SAY

MY FATHER USED TO SAY.......

My father used to say...
"Don't come back if you drown!"
He often acted the clown...
My endearing mum used to say..
"They'll come home in time for tea,
Wait and see.."
My Father used to say...
"Kids come home when they're hungry!
Now don't come back if you drown...."
My Father was always playing the clown..
River of time, all water under the bridge,
Time and the river, flowing away. 
Things my Father used to say.

Poem Details | by Running Wolves |
Categories: baby, children, dad, family, humorous,

Diaper Alert

My God!
what's in yond wind yee broke
doth burn mine eyes 
and make me choke.

Such bitter breeze
such wafting savour 
assaults mine senses
which flee in terror!

No sewage pit
nor stagnant mire
cans't rival thine
unholy power.

A road dead skunk
in a summer's swelter
would smell more like a rose
most precious flower.

What cursed perfume
thou  villainous rouge
doth linger in thine wake 
be gone and find your mom I say
it's her turn for goodness sake!