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Funny Poems About Dark or Dark Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Dark poems and/or funny poems about Dark. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Dark funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Dark Poems.

Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: art, dark, evil, funny, humorous, internet,

Modern Poetry

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get dressed
is not that kind of poem
vote
please favorite me
I am flavor to be
like me
love me
photoshop me
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add ads, subtract ads
multiply wine ads
get more wine
is a long damn add
ok
bought the Mercedes
make love
to words
iPassion
is in
snap snap and chat
latex friendships
hollywood dreams
with amex
I never leave home
there she rests
in the trunk
blood mixed
with that new car smell
everything is modern these days
even my jail cell


Poem Details | by Mark Peterson |
Categories: dark, horror, humorous,

Farewell to the Vampire

Parted curtains
puff of smoke.
Parlor trick
or cruel joke?

First a bat,
then human form—
eyes aglow,
fangs enorm.

And in the mirror,
no image there;
it stilled my heart
and stifled prayer.

But Drac was old
and suffered so;
his timing off,
reactions slow.

As he lunged
I stepped aside;
mallet ready,
his chest I eyed.

He lay there stunned,
at last my break;
I then asked how
he’d like his stake.

2nd Place, Poems from the Vampire, Just That Archaic Poet

Poem Details | by A.O. Taner |
Categories: beautiful, beauty, courage, cute love, dark, deep, depression, desire, destiny, devotion, dream, first love, funny love, grief, happiness, heart, heartbreak, heartbroken, how i feel, i am, i love you, i miss you, innocence, irony, jealousy, lonely, longing, loss, lost, love, love hurts, miss you, missing, missing you, night, passion, psychological, romance, romantic, sad, sad love, silence, sky, sleep, solitude, sunset, true love,

Red Light

have you ever felt like 
the flashing red light on the roof,
lonely as ever
visible at night, useless by day?

in sync with its partner next door
for a quick kiss over a few flashes only 
then arguing again and again 
night in, night out.

have you ever felt like 
the flashing red light on the roof,
not signaling a warning to keep away
but sending a call for compassion?

using the dark pauses in between 
to yell the same name 
over and over and over
into the emptiness of each night.

have you ever felt like
the flashing red light on the roof,
being your silent cry
only heard by your eternal love?

Poem Details | by David Brown |
Categories: anxiety, dark, depression, humor, image,

Viral

Thoughts 
    and 
  feelings
 on a 
   downward 
 spiral,
now 
  that's 
what's 
  truly, 
   going 
viral


Poem Details | by elizabeth wesley |
Categories: funny, dark, dark, time,

His Nose

The nose he wears sits on his head
It's big and round and very red;
And in the dark it always glows
It must be awful to own that nose.
There's two dark holes filled with hair
With whatever else that's hidden there;
Each time I see with great surprise
That glow that sits between his eyes.
It shines as though when night meets day
There never could be another way;
I wonder too if he can tell
If red affects his sense of smell. 
Perhaps the problem is I think
He's had in time too much to drink;
I suggested then to paint it white
And he seemed to think this was alright.

For Frank Herrera's Zaniest Poetry Contest
Elizabeth Wesley


Poem Details | by David Brown |
Categories: anger, break up, dark, humor, irony,

These bare walls

On these bare walls 
there once hung
artwork that was picked by you,
which you'd then picked over,
leaving only a needlepoint 
your mother made for our wedding 
and a picture an alcoholic friend gave you
of a bear

How ironic now, 
it seems, they're not so bare
since I've hung a painting of
dancing bears on the bare wall where 
I took down the needlepoint
and a butterfly, 
in the bare spot you left
by the front door

Poem Details | by Frank Polgar |
Categories: dark, humorous, satire,

The New Year

welcome to the nightmare
365 days of triskaidekaphobia
where will you hide


The world didn't end in 2012, so now we have to deal with the number 13 all year long.  I wrote this poem with that in mind.  Of course, my tongue was firmly planted in my cheek.

Poem Details | by Corinne Curcio |
Categories: funny

Dark Lover

Don't be bitter baby
You're the one I love
And I know how to sweeten you up

I swim into you
My dreamy brown 
Steamy queen

Pass over my lips
Your tasty effusions on my tongue
Are intoxicating

When you go down
The warmth spreads through me 
And you set my heart to racing

Too bad that's the reason why
My doctor says I have 
To switch to dull, lifeless decaf







Poem Details | by Michael Wise |
Categories: boat, humorous, ocean,

The Lark In The Dark

Sammy went out on a lark
sailing his boat in the dark
and while he got drunk
his little boat sunk
so his hangover went to the shark

Poem Details | by Gary Smith |
Categories: dark, horror, humorous,

Leaving My Mark


I like it when the Sun goes down,

I like it when it's dark,

I have two pointy fangs you see,

And I like to leave my mark.






Entry for
What I Like Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Maureen McGreavy
28/2/19

Poem Details | by Anthony Scandrick II |
Categories: anniversary, baby, beautiful, beauty, caregiving, child, childhood, confusion, courage, dark, dedication, depression, devotion, freedom, goodbye, graduation, growing up, happiness, hope, humorous, lonely, lost love, love, mystery, passion, satire, slam, sorrow, sorry, success, suicide, teen, thank you, uplifting, write,

Dear Michelle

You almost had me,
I wanted you,
The way you stuck to me like super glue,
I was feeling you,
But I knew,
I could never have you,
But, the way you looked at me,
The way my body pleads,
We can never be,
Because I’m too old,
And your only thirteen.

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: adventure, angst, autumn, business, confusion, dark, dedication, depression, fear, grief, growing up, happiness, happy, hate, health, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, love, on work and working, pain, parody, people, relationship, retirement, sad, satire, school, social, stress, success, sympathy, time, work,

Reflections: Midlife Crisis

P     aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A     cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N     othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I      nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C     hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
!!

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: adventure, angst, confusion, dark, dedication, depression, devotion, education, faith, farewell, funny, humorous, imagination, introspection, lonely, loss, lost, memory, pain, parody, passion, people, places, retirement, sad, science fiction, sorrow, sorry, space, star, teacher, time, travel, tribute, visionary,

Solitude: To Yoda, An Ode

Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.

Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.

Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.

Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.

My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.

Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.

Poem Details | by Paul Callus |
Categories: dark, humor,

Crocodile Tears

He made her life a living hell.
Her heart immune to the death knell
She breaks down and cries
Tears spring from her eyes
Her acting days now serve her well.

-----------------------------------------

Contest: Open Poetry 
Sponsor: Charlotte Puddifoot
11th July, 2015
Placed 7th

Poem Details | by Lizzy Love |
Categories: animal, best friend, caregiving, dark, humor, pets, relationship,

My Pet Monster

My pet monster
best friend I ever had

through all the good times
and even all the bad

we walk the streets together
some people gawk and stare

when you moan "hi" to them
it gives them quite the scare

I don't mind when you drool
and your eyes roll in your head

your still totally cool 
and always welcome in my bed

and when your limbs and tail
fall off and need repair

I can stitch them on again
I will always be right there

Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: crazy, humor,

Limerick: Once a Dark Horse in a handicap

Limerick : Once a Dark Horse in a handicap

Once a Dark Horse in a handicap
Led head, tail and hoof in the last lap
All eyes on winning post
Cameras clicked the most
Horse lost in the negative, so clap !

© T. Wignesan – Paris,  2013

Poem Details | by Anthony Scandrick II |
Categories: angel, beautiful, beauty, caregiving, childhood, confusion, courage, dark, daughter, death, dedication, depression, devotion, dream, faith, fear, forgiveness, freedom, friendship, girlfriend, grief, happiness, hate, heaven, hope, humorous, imagination, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, passion, peace, relationship, romance, romantic, sorrow, sorry, stress, sympathy, uplifting, heart, hate, hate, heart,

Never Take Hate Outside

When you're hurt inside,
And there's no where to hide,
And there's no one on your side,
And it's killing your pride,
Inside,
Never take hate outside,

When your heart is chocking,
The heavy words never spoken,
The things that hurt you inside,
When love has died,
Inside,
Never take hate outside,

When your heart is gone,
From being alone,
And it beats a solemn tone,

When you're cold inside,
It's only a short ride,
Never take hate outside

Poem Details | by Perry Campanella |
Categories: beach, color, dark, fire, kids, fun, giggle, happy, humorous, inspirational, international, july, new year, poetry, senses, voice, youth,

Caution - Fireworks

E-Z Glo Punk, Lightning Flash,
TNT Devices will burst, do crash
Southern Night, Piccolo Petes
       are hard to beat...

I like hand held Sparklers, Tanks
 flashing fountains, Solar Flare
 Six to #20 Gold I have to share,
 no incidence, no burns, thanks...

  Whistles blow, fountains glow,
 pop'n sounds, entire sky all aglow
 I love those colors, high an low
  trails eched onto my retina
  inspired me to let ya know

  Now you close both eyes
in pitch dark, what a surprise
  for you to see, right there
 darkness, absolutely  anywhere
beautiful trails of lights in motion
 
"Always read a label of caution"

Poem Details | by Sam Ruby |
Categories: angst, art, beautiful, beauty, boyfriend, butterfly, caregiving, childhood, computer-internet, confusion, courage, cowboy-western, dance, dark, daughter, dedication, depression, devotion, dream, funny, girl, girlfriend, goodbye, growing up, happiness, humorous, inspirational, lost, lost love, nostalgia, peace, romance, romantic, sad, song, teen, time, uplifting, women, me, love, me,

Pricked

Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.

Poem Details | by David Brown |
Categories: cry, dark, depression, funny, humor, satire,

Swimming the dark sea

Such pain, such pain this poor heart's born,
with so little pleasures in return, 
much gifts it has bestowed, unearned 
now, here it lies; morose, forlorn

Alas, alas, what curse has brought this
wrath upon such an innocent soul,
its spirit broken by this tragic role
like Atlas or more so, Sisyphus

Fall down again from feet to knees
to plumb the dark and dreary depths,
the length and seemingly infinite breadth
of this warm, salty sea of self-pity
 
These murky waters, born from tears
these waves and tides that chop and churn,
these silent sobs leave one to yearn
for one small thing; a tender ear

Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: allegory, angst, dark, funny, life,

Hopelessly Awaiting For Laundry Day

I hide 
In my splintered wicker laundry hamper
Under last weeks soiled cloths
Sheltered within a warm wooden box

At first the cloths smelled of me 
And later I of them 
And soon hereafter 
We of we

I lay there
Still and cold
In the soiled
Hopelessly Awaiting For Laundry Day

Poem Details | by Charles Pullen |
Categories: dark, emotions, humor, nonsense, people, silly, words,

Colorful expressions

Bright,
tight strings,
colorful
unraveling
nerves.

Poem Details | by Michelle Born |
Categories: art, beautiful, beauty, dark, fantasy, gothic, humor,

Gothic Art




I have always been drawn to Gothic art

It doesn't mean that I play the part,

The art to me is dark and has fantasy all in one

Like Anime art that is really fun,

I guess we all have that dark side that is not revealed

But, trust me my love for Gothic art is for real,

It's a cool world all on it's own

And that fact that I did a page where my love for goth art is being shown.


Written By: Unique Poetry 2015

Poem Details | by Layla Elkoulily |
Categories: allegory, angst, beautiful, beauty, childhood, dark, daughter, dedication, dog, dream, flower, forgiveness, funny, growing up, hope, inspirational, metaphor, stress, tribute, visionary, women,

The Broken Girl-not me

Is my life not tortured enough for you to see? 
I am broken as can be. 
My heart is torn. 
My tears stain these perfect floors.  
Why are singing with glee? 
Why do you not care about my every plea? 
I am trapped in your arms. 
I am the hopeless moth. 
How did you pick me? 
What is it that you see? 
A girl untouched by life? 
A flower blooming in the desert? 
I have said goodbye to my loving integrity.  
You took that from me through R-A-P-E.

Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: dark, destiny, giggle, military, peace, political, war,

WATCH OUR

watch out
for the white flag 
with a sharp finial 
on top of the staff
it will pierce your heart 
in the name of peace
with a black laugh