Humorous and funny Birthday poems and/or funny poems about Birthday. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Birthday funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Birthday Poems.
Poem Details | by
Poet Destroyer A |
Categories:
adventure, blessing, corruption, earth, environment, funny, nature,
~Planet of the apes~
Ape should inherit the world
Perhaps --maybe, just maybe!
Earth has a chance
~*~
Poem Details | by
Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories:
funny, holiday
All year long he puts my heart on a shelf
No surprise I’d rather be by myself
If there’s no Valentine treat
From this worthless hunk of meat
He can go on making love to himself
Remember there’s an “I” in Valentine
So if no one’s around to say, “Be mine”
Just splurge – get a new hairdo
Party with an all-girl crew
Check out the divorce rate and say, “I’m fine”
*For Francine's Valentine Limerick contest
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous, valentines day, roses are red,
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’m up for a quickie
Do you fancy one too?
13th February 2015
Poem Details | by
Mark J. Halliday |
Categories:
chocolate, holiday, humorous, religion, valentines day,
Valentinius--
Not much is known about him,
But all girls love him.
Saint Valentine's Feast,
On February fourteenth:
Mostly chocolates!
It would make more sense
To honor Aphrodite...
So then, why don't we?!
Poem Details | by
Dennis Davis |
Categories:
culture, funny, granddaughter, grandfather, humorous, political, presidents day,
I was eating breakfast yesterday with my 12 year old granddaughter and I asked her “What day is tomorrow?” Without skipping a beat she said, “Its Presidents Day!” She is so smart, so I asked her “What does Presidents Day mean?” I was waiting for something about Obama, Bush or even Clinton. She replied “Presidents Day is when the President steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow we have another year of bull ****.” You know it hurts like hell when hot coffee spurts out of your nose.
Poem Details | by
Gerard Keogh Jr. |
Categories:
fantasy, funny, parody, science fiction
Soon the curious swelled to a mob.
as they gathered to gape at the glob.
Someone prods with a stick.
as another screams: " Quick!"
"We must run for our lives! It's the Blob!"
Poem Details | by
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen |
Categories:
funny,
a very loud noise
started ringing from my clock—
I fell out of bed
a bumped water glass
rolling across the hard floor—
I slipped on my head
a loud screaming sound
resonated through the house—
my face turned bright red
my husband woke up
hysterically laughing—
I was on the floor
I could not get up
without someone assisting—
ku ku krazy day
I went back to bed
wondering what day it was—
perhaps, tomorrow
Ó April 18, 2012
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest: ????.....!!!!!.....Ku Ku Crazy......!!!!!.....????
Sponsor Tracie ~*~ Indigo Dreamweaver
Poem Details | by
Bl Devnath |
Categories:
funny, love, valentines day,
old tigers from dens
waiting to come out of sleep
for Valentines kiss
old tigresses fear
emotional utterance
may be played again
Wish you all P.S. friends Happy Valentines Day, enjoy
For Contest: 101 in a ROW contest -5
Sponsored by: PD
Poem Details | by
Pat Adams |
Categories:
christmas, holiday, horror, humor,
The elves filled Santa's sack with toys
For all the good little girls and boys
When he lifted it up he used his back
Instead of his legs and he tore his sack
An elf gave a band-aid to Santa, their proctor
Santa said, "No, I need to go to a doctor"
But sadly a doctor he would do without
There was no time, so he started his route
He stood up in the sleigh, his jewels in a brace
Yelling, "OW, Merry Christmas!", all over the place!
Poem Details | by
Cheryl Hoffman |
Categories:
humor,
I jotted the number down with a pen
called and set the date of time and when
two men and a truck
finally showed up
outside my door stood two stick figured men
7-6-18
Poem Details | by
Ed Morris |
Categories:
funny, humorous, poetry, poets,
This form repeats too much, I say.
It’s hard to write a villanelle—
I’ll try again some other day.
My rhyme begins without delay;
It’s going fine, then—what the hell?
This form repeats too much, I say.
Doggone it! This is not okay!
I’m under some nefarious spell.
I’ll try again some other day.
But no, I cannot stay away.
I breathe, then smell that same old smell:
This form repeats too much, I say.
I took the bait; I’ve fallen prey;
The crude result I cannot tell—
I’ll try again some other day.
And thus I end this odd ballet.
(I’ve really never danced too well.)
This form repeats too much, I say;
I’ll try again some other day.
Poem Details | by
Paloma P |
Categories:
allegory, day, deep, emotions, fear, humor, hyperbole,
hid insecurities within
ambiguous humor &
convoluted whimsies,
rules consistently changing
in a game which required
hardly more than breath,
nothing less than obscurity
twisting a fallible fancy,
seizing day's intangibility
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
humorous,
I heard of a fella named Roger
Who had the most ginormous todger
Guys envied his dong
(Twas twelve inches long)
Six widows now share Rodger lodger!
These widows don’t charge Roger rent
But night after night Roger’s spent -
This randy young chappy
Sure makes these gals happy
I’m surprised his todger’s not bent
05/17/21
Poem Details | by
Lindsay Laurie |
Categories:
humor,
Hi ho! Hi ho! Off to the gym I go,
but a friend rang me wouldn’t you know.
Now I’m sorry to say,
I can’t make it today.
That makes it three thousand days in a row.
Poem Details | by
Kim Rodrigues |
Categories:
angst, humor, valentines day,
VALENTINE SCHMALENTINE
Walking on bleeding hearts like eggshell parts
My valentine broke Cupid’s angel wings
I don’t know what to believe when he brings
Ample heart-shaped boxes of Chocolate darts
We’ve been together since I don’t know when
He loves me he loves me not a gold ring
He comes home when he wants to, it’s his thing
Doesn’t like when I question where’s he been
Hopefully he’ll propose on bended knee
Expecting a dozen wild red roses
Or lay some myself where he decomposes
And his valentine, that’s me, will be free
1/21/2017
Contest
Poem Details | by
Jerry T Curtis |
Categories:
humorous, valentines day,
Valen-time a woman's perspective
Inspired by one of Jan Alison's recent writes
You've given me red roses
carnations violets too
You even gave me tulips
To show your love was true
But now these days it seems
that the garden must be dead
'Cause the only kind of (flower)
that I get's for making bread
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
car, humorous,
Sour Rita is a meter maid
she’s checking car drivers have paid
if you step out of line
she will issue a fine
of Rita drivers are afraid
Her beady eyes dart round the lot
she’s looking for folk who forgot
to pay and display
and it makes her day
to impose a fine like a shot
From fining she’ll never deter
don’t attempt to reason with her -
just zip up your gob
she’s doing her job
next journey arrange a chauffeur!
4/26/19
Poem Details | by
Jan Allison |
Categories:
food, for her, humorous,
Sweet Caren’s an ace masticator
and opens her mouth like a gator
Breakfast dinner and tea
She will chew thoroughly
Her husband just acts as her waiter!
Inspired by this poem written by Caren Krutsinger
www.poetrysoup.com/poem/i_masticate_a_lot_1050599
Posted with full permission of Caren
8/11/18
Poem Details | by
David Welch |
Categories:
children, day, fun, humor, seasons, winter, youth,
Just last night we got two feet of snow,
enough to make all of the school’s close,
kids get excited, ready to blow,
made them put on all their heavy clothes,
what happened next everybody knows,
the boys ran outside, started a row,
air crisscrossed with snowballs they throw,
if you get hit you feel slushy woe
until soaked socks chill up the toes,
how winter should be, I deem it so!
My teenage daughter flips through her phone,
into the white she’s too ‘cool’ to go,
the couch, it seems, is permanent home,
my son with snowball creeps up real low,
I hear her shrieks, and just say,”Oh no.”
This day really does belong to the snow.
Poem Details | by
Rhona Mcferran |
Categories:
assonance, childhood, humor, humorous, silly, youth,
Slosh Sploshes
in my Galoshes
reveling in the rain
Muddle Muck
I am a Duck
and cannot be contained
Flap Slap
something Madcap
waddling soaking wet
My mother says
I am the Muddiest
thing she has ever met!
Poem Details | by
Maurice Rigoler |
Categories:
dark, humor,
On Judgment Day, the throne in view,
religionists gather of every hue.
Waiting nervously for their day in court,
the Lord’s proceedings proved quite short.
Spoke the Lord: Because I am omniscient
my knowledge of one and all is sufficient.
Nor should each fear a reward infernal,
though be assured it will be just and eternal.
And so, give ear now to my wise decision –
and, please, no scoffing or derision:
As to who among you taught my true light,
that I leave to each one to decide who was right.
At this the crowds grew restless and angry,
accusations turned violent then bloody.
Thus the Lord showed no bias and no favor,
leaving the outcome to centuries-old behavior.
Poem Details | by
Zamreen Zarook |
Categories:
age, angel, beautiful, beauty, body, boyfriend, celebration, celebrity, change, character, creation, desire, emotions, children, friendship, girl, girlfriend, hero, humorous, i love you, image, life, memorial day, memory, middle school, relationship, romantic, school, society, student, teen, teenage, truth, wisdom, woman, women, words, world, youth,
Fake Words – Zamreen Zarook
God have given us mouth,
Not to speak to north and south,
Tongue is given under an oath,
So it’s our duty to protect them both.
Girls chat fake with boys,
Having a notion that the boys are toys,
They often make varied noise,
Thinking to keep a trap on handsome guys.
Boys are also human being,
So it’s not possible being clean,
Things varies in the way they are seen,
So positive thinking will make you keen.
Boys’ minds are pure,
As it is pure bio,
So don’t try to pour vino,
Which will take decades to get cure.
Poem Details | by
Anne-Lise Andresen |
Categories:
humorous,
You blamed that fart of him ?
Always blame it on the dog
Lying !
Liars !
Lie !
The truth about lies
Do not blame other
This happens every time you fart
I understand that it can
required fees when cows farting
Much air from four stomachs in a cow
Large air pollution
29.03.2016
A-L Andresen :)
Poem Details | by
Jslambert Mister Roboto |
Categories:
caregiving, childhood, confusion, family, father, children, funny, happiness, holiday, husband, imagination, life, mother, natural disasters, nature, parody, people, places, satire, social, son, teen, wife
***NOTE~TO BE READ WITH A RIDICULOUS "SILKY SOUTHERN DRAWL" (have fun:)***
"Storm over yet...?"
"Well hay'ell ye'ah!
woo-hoo!
sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
whadda'bou that boy th'er?
sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"
"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"
"Wha'choo sayin?
wha'th'a?
na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
shoot!
'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm!
torna'durr warnin' too!
he gonna have him'a cole burr;
on me!"
my treat!
mama, git him'a cole burr!
ro'tt now;
ya'here?
besides...
ta'days father's day!"
© 2011 ~JSLambert Esquire
Poem Details | by
Arlene Smith |
Categories:
funny, funny love, valentines day,
You melt my butter.
You sop my gravy.
There is no other
like my redneck baby.
You're the frost on my mug;
the salt on my pretzel.
You really squish my mud.
You're the one I want to wrestle.
But if faithful, you're not,
or you be loose and fast;
not Cupid's arrow shot,
but mine, in your ***!
Love, Arlene