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Funny Poems About Death or Death Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Death poems and/or funny poems about Death. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Death funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Death Poems.

Poem Details | by Paul Callus |
Categories: death, funny,

Sidney Snoozer


Here lies Sidney Snoozer, a lover of sleep, 

His last nap eternal – relaxed, six foot deep. 




For Epitaph Contest 2
Hosted by Jesse Rowe

© 15th April 2019


Poem Details | by Nina Parmenter |
Categories: body, death, humor, humorous,

Squelch


I heard the squelch of death again -
or was it just a neuron firing
deep within my boggy brain,

or possibly a cell expiring
down amongst a mucus mess?
It could have been my heart perspiring

(that may be a thing I guess)
or, deep down in the adipose,
the squealing of a fat-lump pressed

to serve as fuel, and I suppose
it might have been a small mutation -
“Pop!” (we get a lot of those),

a bronchiole’s sharp inhalation,
“Hiss!” a membrane’s gooey breath,
a bile-duct’s bitter salivation...

Probably, it wasn’t death.


29 Mar 2019

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: fear, humor, inspirational,

A Fear Greater than Death

There is just one thing people fear more than death
Speaking before an audience

Really, more than death?

Poem Details | by Kim Merryman |
Categories: chocolate, death, food, funny,

Death by Chocolate

Sandy was a chocoholic,
The worst I've ever seen!
If she didn't eat some daily,
She'd become crazy mean!

It didn't matter what kind it was,
Ice cream, cake, pie or candy,
As long as it was chocolate,
Sandy was  fine and dandy!

Then one day the unthinkable happened,
To the chocolate loving miss,
While eating her favorite candy,
She choked on a chocolate kiss!

"Death by chocolate," the coroner concluded,
As to the cause of Sandy's death.
At least she died doing what she loved,
Eating chocolate til her last breath.



11/21/11  for Natalie the Rogue Rhymer's 
"Die a fun Death" contest


Poem Details | by Lycia Harding |
Categories: death, eulogy, funny,

I Slipped on a Teardrop

===============================

I slipped on a teardrop and landed in a laugh...

Who knew my tragic ending would have a happy half?

Please chuckle at my funeral and make my epitaph:

"I slipped on a teardrop and landed in a laugh"

===============================

Poem Details | by Daniel Turner |
Categories: appreciation, death of a friend, humor,

Death of a Friend

There were no tears of sorrow when she passed
No suffering or pain, a quiet death
Though many questioned just how long she'd last
Few noticed when she took her final breath

So many photographs and memories
With family and friends while she was here
She shared her time and warmth so willingly
Forever will we hold her days so dear

Though she has passed we will continue on
There will be many gloomy days ahead
Some days her memory will flash at dawn
And some nights when we crawl into our bed

For now let's raise our glass at summer's wake
Cause soon it will be autumn's leaves we'll rake



     original poem by Daniel Turner

Poem Details | by Danitra David |
Categories: death, humor,

Someone get the door

Death knocks on the door
He is not cloaked with a sickle 
He only wants a slice 

Poem Details | by Bob Quigley |
Categories: death, funny, lost, lost,

Quaffed

Ole Kelly worked at the brewery
And was pretty good at that
But one day he lost his balance 
And fell into a vat

O’Reilly went to Kelly’s house
Someone had to tell his wife
He said Kelly fell into the beer
And there he lost his life

Kelly’s wife was beside herself
Said I know those vats are slick
Please tell me he didn’t suffer
That my Kelly went real quick

He said I don’t think he suffered ma’am  
As far as I could see
In fact while he was swimming in there
He climbed out twice to pee

Another old Irish joke that I just had to set to rhyme.



Poem Details | by Sunshine Smile |
Categories: death, humor,

- Lifeless -




From one second to the next
Love is our strength and honor, while we are still alive

The body feels cold and stiff
Searching for heart beat ... breathe ... pulse
One, two, three .... one, two, three
Please

With eyes full of tears
One, two, three .... one, two, three
Fearing the silence ... and darkness

Power failure
... I did my best










24.02.2017
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved

Poem Details | by Lochan Chugh |
Categories: death, emotions, fear, humor, life, loneliness, sun,

Let's die

It was a height of 250 metres,
But I wasn’t afraid;
I looked down
And there wasn’t even my shade.

The sun was already jumping
But with a low speed,
“ I can perform better,
 I am not going to give the lead.”

Took a deep breath
And I was in air,
Time stopped,
And silence reached there.

The sun began moving upward,
Or I began moving downward,
I was flying,
But like a dead bird.

When from the ground,
I wasn’t really high;
Mind said,“ change in plan,
Let the sun first die”.

Poem Details | by JSLambert Mister ROBOTO |
Categories: death, dedication, depression, funeral, funny, inspirational, introspection, life, loss, parody

AMY WINEHOUSE-Should have went to rehab


They tried to make you go to Rehab...
you said...
                NO!
                    NO!!
                       NO!!!
Shoulda' packed your bags ta' Rehab...
you wouldn't 
                 GO!
                     GO!!
                        GO!!!
  
 boo-hoo hot-mess
        Wine-HORSE

Poem Details | by Samuel Lee |
Categories: abuse, addiction, allegory, death, funny, metaphor, water,

To You, Crocodile

The river dragon of crimson streams
Swiftly swimming to bring my end
As I’m standing alone at the silent shore
The beast from this murk suddenly ascends.
Gripping my face in her flawless jaws
The teeth latched efficiently into flesh
Pulling me quickly into the depths
Dragging me into the shallow grave.
Surrounded in filth, drowning in the banks
The apex predator’s grip never relenting
All I can do is break, bleed and decompose
Hoping for some relief in the pending death.
I find some comfort in this prolonged pain,
Because I haven’t felt a thing in ages.    

Poem Details | by cheryl hoffman |
Categories: anxiety, death, humor, money,

Death and Taxes

Now that I'm dead I can finally relax,
worry free of April 15th and filing my income tax.




3-22-17

Poem Details | by Gregory R Barden |
Categories: fun, humorous,

Mr and Mrs Dumpty, Egg-cidental Death


He lay there, shattered,

                    the shell of his former self,

          scrambled beyond hope ...



Not really her fault ...

                    all she wanted was a quiche,

          but she'd pushed too hard.





~ 6th Place ~  in the "Pithy Pants" Poetry Contest, Maureen McGreavy, Judge & Sponsor.


Poem Details | by ravi kiran |
Categories: cheer up, death, hilarious, humor, humorous, journey, muse,

Ridicule with death

Is it that time?
my time to go.
do you have a warrant?
wait a while,
till the rain dials down.
Not want to ruin the suit,
need to look my best.
When I meet the under lord,
need to appear my best.
Not want to spend
my afterlife drenched.
if not
can I dry myself 
at the furnace of the hell.
what if?
I go to heaven,
can I pack 
a change of clothes?
Nothing fancy,
long robe and a halo,
may be a scarf too.
let me pack some sausages,
for the long journey ahead.
you seem clueless,
let me talk to your superior,
what is the country code? 
Is it alpha and omega?
no! they put me on hold
to a hold tone,
"Hang it up and see what tomorrow brings."

Poem Details | by Gregory R Barden |
Categories: death, eulogy, humorous, light,

Tom E Aiken


My wife deplored her duty But O' was she good-looking She sold me on her beauty But killed me with her cooking ~ 3rd Place ~ in the "A Funny Epitaph" Poetry Contest, Jesse Rowe, Judge & Sponsor.

Poem Details | by Dale Gregory Cozart |
Categories: death, humor,

It's Not Me, It's You

It's true that I could be more lovin'
as I shove you head first in the oven,

but I can't help but feel so elated
that with you your breath is cremated.

7/16/2018

Poem Details | by Gregory R Barden |
Categories: death, eulogy, humorous,

Hope S Gaughan



I had hoped for angels But in earth I will stay For my husband died first And he scared them away

Poem Details | by Paula Goldsmith |
Categories: animal, death, dream, humor, school, teen, youth,

My Ruthless Dreams COLLABORATION

 
Up early and off to school I must go
Full of pep and not too slow,
That was then when I was young
This is now a new age I have begun,
How I hate them as I climb out of bed
Early mornings are for the dead,
Unreasonable I must seem
Unyieldingly demanding where is my coffee cream,
But I did love them bed and pillow
Seems so long ago I dreamed of an armadillo,
Now they‘re ruthless dreams
I just can’t do them with ice cream,
I’m now past my prime teens.
 

8-23-2019   "for contest COLLABORATION sponsored by Line Gauthier"

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: death, humorous,

NO MORE CLOWNING AROUND

 
 
Here lie the remains of Ethel Brown A circus clown from County Down She’s buried wearing her red plastic nose ‘Twill be the last of Ethel to decompose! An Epitaph to Make Us Laugh 2 Poetry Contest Sponsored by Jesse Rowe 4/12/19

Poem Details | by Tom Cunningham |
Categories: death, grave, humor,

Unlucky Jim

Beneath lie the remains of unlucky Jim
A great white shark made a meal of him
Fell off his surf board and hit by a wave
Half inside ‘Jaws’ and half in this grave.





Written on 13 September 2018

For a funny epitaph poetry contest
Sponsored by Jesse Rowe.

Poem Details | by Gregory R Barden |
Categories: death, eulogy, humorous,

Here Lies Festus Sleape


We're asleep in this graveyard We can't hear you pout So please leave your flowers And get the hell out

Poem Details | by Sandra Haight |
Categories: death, funny,

Poor Uncle Tom

He lies in peace beneath this tree
where death by shock came suddenly.
That thunderbolt struck Uncle Tom-
he faced the storm before the calm.

Sandra M. Haight

~2nd Place~
Contest:  An Epitaph To Make Us Laugh 2
Sponsor: Jesse Rowe
Judged: 04/25/2019

Poem Details | by Maureen McGreavy Pigeon Tart |
Categories: death, humor, science,

Days of Ore



    When my parts are no longer my sum
    When I come undone
    I will be iron as blood no more

    Rust in peace



6/12/2020


Poem Details | by Gregory R Barden |
Categories: death, eulogy, humorous,

RIP M T Pocquettes


Here's a hammer for my debtors For my bills, I couldn't pay Just take a piece of marble And then please go away