Humorous and funny Death poems and/or funny poems about Death. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Death funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Death Poems.
Poem Details | by
Paul Callus |
Categories:
death, funny,
Here lies Sidney Snoozer, a lover of sleep,
His last nap eternal – relaxed, six foot deep.
For Epitaph Contest 2
Hosted by Jesse Rowe
© 15th April 2019
Poem Details | by
Kim Merryman |
Categories:
chocolate, death, food, funny,
Sandy was a chocoholic,
The worst I've ever seen!
If she didn't eat some daily,
She'd become crazy mean!
It didn't matter what kind it was,
Ice cream, cake, pie or candy,
As long as it was chocolate,
Sandy was fine and dandy!
Then one day the unthinkable happened,
To the chocolate loving miss,
While eating her favorite candy,
She choked on a chocolate kiss!
"Death by chocolate," the coroner concluded,
As to the cause of Sandy's death.
At least she died doing what she loved,
Eating chocolate til her last breath.
11/21/11 for Natalie the Rogue Rhymer's
"Die a fun Death" contest
Poem Details | by
Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories:
fear, humor, inspirational,
There is just one thing people fear more than death
Speaking before an audience
Really, more than death?
Poem Details | by
Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories:
animal, death, funny, humor, satire, silly, spiritual,
Each of us have two wolves living inside us
One wants to eat burritos
and watch horror movies.
The other wants to walk about
in its underpants all day
snacking on cheetos between long naps.
The wolf that thrives is the one
who lives on with diabetes while the other
dies of a heart attack.
Poem Details | by
Lycia Harding |
Categories:
death, eulogy, funny,
===============================
I slipped on a teardrop and landed in a laugh...
Who knew my tragic ending would have a happy half?
Please chuckle at my funeral and make my epitaph:
"I slipped on a teardrop and landed in a laugh"
===============================
Poem Details | by
Daniel Turner |
Categories:
appreciation, death of a friend, humor,
There were no tears of sorrow when she passed
No suffering or pain, a quiet death
Though many questioned just how long she'd last
Few noticed when she took her final breath
So many photographs and memories
With family and friends while she was here
She shared her time and warmth so willingly
Forever will we hold her days so dear
Though she has passed we will continue on
There will be many gloomy days ahead
Some days her memory will flash at dawn
And some nights when we crawl into our bed
For now let's raise our glass at summer's wake
Cause soon it will be autumn's leaves we'll rake
original poem by Daniel Turner
Poem Details | by
Anne-Lise Andresen |
Categories:
death, humor,
From one second to the next
Love is our strength and honor, while we are still alive
The body feels cold and stiff
Searching for heart beat ... breathe ... pulse
One, two, three .... one, two, three
Please
With eyes full of tears
One, two, three .... one, two, three
Fearing the silence ... and darkness
Power failure
... I did my best
24.02.2017
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
Poem Details | by
Danitra David |
Categories:
death, humor,
Death knocks on the door
He is not cloaked with a sickle
He only wants a slice
Poem Details | by
Cheryl Hoffman |
Categories:
anxiety, death, humor, money,
Now that I'm dead I can finally relax,
worry free of April 15th and filing my income tax.
3-22-17
Poem Details | by
Jslambert Mister Roboto |
Categories:
death, dedication, depression, funeral, funny, inspirational, introspection, life, loss, parody
They tried to make you go to Rehab...
you said...
NO!
NO!!
NO!!!
Shoulda' packed your bags ta' Rehab...
you wouldn't
GO!
GO!!
GO!!!
boo-hoo hot-mess
Wine-HORSE
Poem Details | by
Lochan Chugh |
Categories:
death, emotions, fear, humor, life, loneliness, sun,
It was a height of 250 metres,
But I wasn’t afraid;
I looked down
And there wasn’t even my shade.
The sun was already jumping
But with a low speed,
“ I can perform better,
I am not going to give the lead.”
Took a deep breath
And I was in air,
Time stopped,
And silence reached there.
The sun began moving upward,
Or I began moving downward,
I was flying,
But like a dead bird.
When from the ground,
I wasn’t really high;
Mind said,“ change in plan,
Let the sun first die”.
Poem Details | by
Bob Quigley |
Categories:
death, funny, lost, lost,
Ole Kelly worked at the brewery
And was pretty good at that
But one day he lost his balance
And fell into a vat
O’Reilly went to Kelly’s house
Someone had to tell his wife
He said Kelly fell into the beer
And there he lost his life
Kelly’s wife was beside herself
Said I know those vats are slick
Please tell me he didn’t suffer
That my Kelly went real quick
He said I don’t think he suffered ma’am
As far as I could see
In fact while he was swimming in there
He climbed out twice to pee
Another old Irish joke that I just had to set to rhyme.
Poem Details | by
Samuel Lee |
Categories:
abuse, addiction, allegory, death, funny, metaphor, water,
The river dragon of crimson streams
Swiftly swimming to bring my end
As I’m standing alone at the silent shore
The beast from this murk suddenly ascends.
Gripping my face in her flawless jaws
The teeth latched efficiently into flesh
Pulling me quickly into the depths
Dragging me into the shallow grave.
Surrounded in filth, drowning in the banks
The apex predator’s grip never relenting
All I can do is break, bleed and decompose
Hoping for some relief in the pending death.
I find some comfort in this prolonged pain,
Because I haven’t felt a thing in ages.
Poem Details | by
Gregory Richard Barden |
Categories:
fun, humorous,
He lay there, shattered,
the shell of his former self,
scrambled beyond hope ...
Not really her fault ...
all she wanted was a quiche,
but she'd pushed too hard.
~ 6th Place ~ in the "Pithy Pants" Poetry Contest, Maureen McGreavy, Judge & Sponsor.
Poem Details | by
Gregory Richard Barden |
Categories:
death, eulogy, humorous, light,
My wife deplored her duty
But O' was she good-looking
She sold me on her beauty
But killed me with her cooking
~ 3rd Place ~ in the "A Funny Epitaph" Poetry Contest, Jesse Rowe, Judge & Sponsor.
Poem Details | by
Ravi Kiran |
Categories:
cheer up, death, hilarious, humor, humorous, journey, muse,
Is it that time?
my time to go.
do you have a warrant?
wait a while,
till the rain dials down.
Not want to ruin the suit,
need to look my best.
When I meet the under lord,
need to appear my best.
Not want to spend
my afterlife drenched.
if not
can I dry myself
at the furnace of the hell.
what if?
I go to heaven,
can I pack
a change of clothes?
Nothing fancy,
long robe and a halo,
may be a scarf too.
let me pack some sausages,
for the long journey ahead.
you seem clueless,
let me talk to your superior,
what is the country code?
Is it alpha and omega?
no! they put me on hold
to a hold tone,
"Hang it up and see what tomorrow brings."
Poem Details | by
Tom Cunningham |
Categories:
death, humor,
In this vault are a few crumbs of crusty old Fred
He got stuck in an oven and got baked with the bread
A very popular man, his friends didn't think twice
When offered a keepsake, their very own slice.
Written 14 April 2019.
Not for contest.
Poem Details | by
Dale Gregory Cozart |
Categories:
death, humor,
It's true that I could be more lovin'
as I shove you head first in the oven,
but I can't help but feel so elated
that with you your breath is cremated.
7/16/2018
Poem Details | by
Sandra Haight |
Categories:
death, funny,
He lies in peace beneath this tree
where death by shock came suddenly.
That thunderbolt struck Uncle Tom-
he faced the storm before the calm.
April 16, 2019
Premiere Contest: Your Best Light-Verse Poetry
Sponsor:L Milton Hankins
Poem Details | by
Paula Goldsmith |
Categories:
animal, death, dream, humor, school, teen, youth,
Up early and off to school I must go
Full of pep and not too slow,
That was then when I was young
This is now a new age I have begun,
How I hate them as I climb out of bed
Early mornings are for the dead,
Unreasonable I must seem
Unyieldingly demanding where is my coffee cream,
But I did love them bed and pillow
Seems so long ago I dreamed of an armadillo,
Now they‘re ruthless dreams
I just can’t do them with ice cream,
I’m now past my prime teens.
8-23-2019 "for contest COLLABORATION sponsored by Line Gauthier"
Poem Details | by
Maureen Mcgreavy |
Categories:
death, humor, science,
When my parts are no longer my sum
When I come undone
I will be iron as blood no more
Rust in peace
6/12/2020
Poem Details | by
Gregory Richard Barden |
Categories:
death, eulogy, humorous,
We're asleep in this graveyard
We can't hear you pout
So please leave your flowers
And get the hell out
Poem Details | by
Ella Weiss |
Categories:
7th grade, art, death, earth, faith, funny love, sick,
"Its corona time" they said
I really hope I don't wind up dead
Many people have such as Tom Hanks
He's been tested. It wasn't a prank
Stores are running out of Purell and toilet paper
COVID-19 is like a game and we are all desperate players
Wash your hands and say a prayer
Becasue coronavirus is everywhere
Poem Details | by
David Mchattie |
Categories:
death, humor, marriage,
It was nigh on to St. Crispin's day
But I found no solace there.
The night curdled with discontentment
As a vile expectation filled the air.
Death himself appeared at my door...
His heinous purpose not yet clear.
It ripped me to the very core...
It tasked my soul with fear.
'Forgive this late intrusion.'
It offered in a throated baritone.
"I am due this night to reap a soul...
But your neighbor's not at home.'
With a firm grip on my mortality...
I could think of nothing more.
I called out towards my husband...
'Honey... you're wanted at the door.'
The End
Poem Details | by
Gregory Richard Barden |
Categories:
death, eulogy, humorous,
I had hoped for angels
But in earth I will stay
For my husband died first
And he scared them away