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Funny Poems About Dog or Dog Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Dog poems and/or funny poems about Dog. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Dog funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Dog Poems.

Poem Details | by Charlie Knowlton |
Categories: animal, best friend, dog, funny, humor, pets, silly,

Top 10 things my dogs have never said to me

Top 10 things my dogs have never said to me.   Ever!

Number 10…"Don`t blame the cat!...We did it.

Number 9…"No,…As a matter of fact I`m not happy to see you."

Number 8…"That`s ok, you eat the rest of that rib eye."

Number 7…"Sorry about your friends leg, and of course i`ll pay for the pillow."

Number 6…"Do I need a mint?"

Number 5…"And where have you been?"

Number 4…"Is there a 12 step group for butt sniffing?"

Number 3…"Please!…Do not rub my belly or scratch my ears. "

Number 2…" You threw it…You go get it."

And the number 1 answer is!

"That`s your third beer ya know."


Poem Details | by Jacob Cra |
Categories: childhood, education, children, funny, dog, dog,

I Didn't Do My Math Homework

I didn’t do my math homework!
I watched T.V instead!
I better come up with an excuse... and quick!
Or else I’m surely dead!

My brother tore it!
It’s in the garbage!
Mom says it causes brain damage!

My power was out!
I had the flu!
I was having trouble excreting my poo!

You know, why even bother?
My excuses are so lame!
I know! My dog ate my homework!
Now to find a dog I can blame...

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: dog, humorous,

DACHSHUND

Some folks call me a sausage dog I think they couldn’t be meaner It’s not my fault I’m long and short And look like a misshapen wiener I’ve got four stumpy little legs So my tummy is near to the ground My owner’s take me for a drag not a walk Guess that's why they named me Cigarette! 01~16~15 Contest: Dachshunds – Rob Carmack ~awarded 9th place~ Premiere Contest #13 sponsored by SKAT

Poem Details | by rob carmack |
Categories: animal, best friend, dog, humorous, love, pets, thanks,

Sonnet Chiweenie Boo

Your dad, a Dachshund once stuck in Chihuahua.
The best of both in you, with that expectant
Confusing carpets for the lawn enigma.
I know….the raining….getting wet….you can’t.

As coldness chills the room, a sheet for you.
The perfect tucking of in, but you moved!
I ponder, just how crazy is my Boo?
The sheet’s thread count too low to be approved?

Your dance in circles, spinning on the floor.
Rewards and treasures known upon the racks.
Induced by meals and that one pantry door.   
In such a fury, choking on the snacks.

I know what God’s book says, I’ve searched it whole.
But still, I hope you have a little soul.

11.14.14

Poem Details | by Sunshine Smile |
Categories: dog, fun, humor,

- Haiku X 72 - Dog, Poop And Snow -


Behavior perfect
Deep cold snow how can she poop
My small dog Kissy

If my dog could talk
I try to understand her
She drown in the snow







18.01.2016
A-L Andresen :)

Poem Details | by Peter Dome |
Categories: angst, dog, guitar, humorous, people,

Stupid questions

It never seems to amaze me
How stupid some people are
Whenever I am out
And take along my guitar.

''Is it a guitar'' people say
''No an ironing board''
I reply with dismay.

''Can you play it?''
''No I just carry it about for fun''
Even though it's a heavy one.

''Are they your dogs''
When out in town
''No'' I reply
''their someone else's
And I'm taking them back to get the ransomed money honey.''
After a while i's an annoyance and not that funny.



Peter Dome.copyright.2015. Oct.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: dog, humorous,

AND THEY CALL IT PUPPY LOVE - FOR CONTEST

How could I not forgive you? Just one look at your puppy dog eyes Thaws the heart of this ice maiden Contest - Micropoetry ain't that tweet – Sponsor Casarah Nance (105 characters with spaces) 07~31~15

Poem Details | by Sandra Haight |
Categories: dog, humor,

Doggy Dale


We once had a doggy named Dale
Allured by the sight of his tail
He’d chase it all day
In circles, he’d play
When able to snatch it he’d wail!


Sandra M. Haight

~3rd Place~   
Contest: Your Best Single Limerick - 5 lines only
Sponsor: Robert Haigh
Judged: 04/24/2018

~3rd Place~
Contest: Limerick Contest
Sponsor: Jan Allison
Judged: 04/29/2015




Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: dog, humorous,

DOGGONE

There was a dog owner named Mark Whose beagle would constantly bark The neighbours would moan They’d steal Benji’s bone And toss it away in the park 18th February 2016

Poem Details | by Kim Merryman |
Categories: dog, funny,

Gone to the Dogs

DOGGIE ART
Poodle
Doodle

          HAPPY LASSIES
          Jolly
          Collies

                     FAMOUS CANINES
                     Renowned
                     Greyhounds

YORKSHIRE TERRIER WITH A POODLE CUT  
                      Dorkie
                      Yorkie

          BY THE WAY:
          How's your
          Schnauzer?


3/19/17
For Jan Allison's Fabulous Fun Footle Contest


                               

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: dog, humorous,

PUGNACIOUS

My son has a new dog called Brandy By jingo that pup is so randy He caused quite a to do When he humped my left shoe No wonder his legs are so bandy! 07-07-17

Poem Details | by Dean Wood |
Categories: dog, humorous, , cute,

Litterally Absurd

A dog by the side of the road
Whelped out her cute little load
A copper who saw
Reeled off the law
Cited for littering I’m told

Poem Details | by B. Joseph Fitzsimons |
Categories: dog, humor,

This is How My Dog Pees

"This is mine, and this is mine, and so is this,"
Says my unfixed dog, Willy, on all he does piss.

Poem Details | by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories: animal, dog, happy, humor, joy, love, pets,

Spenser

My name is Spenser
No dog is denser
I'm not well smarted
But I'm big hearted
If you was hurted
I'd be alerted
And I'll come racing
To lick your facing.

Poem Details | by John lawless |
Categories: boy, dog, humor,

OH, TELL HER

Oh, tell her that she’s beautiful
lithe and fluid on the run
her oh so cunning brush of hair
a perfumed brush of coming near.

Tell her of my longing moan
of lonely howl of aching heart
lest she forget we have a date														
Tomorrow – dog park – after eight.

©9/29/2019

Realism Art Poetry Contest
Eve Roper - sponsor

Poem Details | by Robin L. Gass |
Categories: funny

Footle - A Dog Catchers Vow

If found

in pound!

Poem Details | by Rick Zablocki |
Categories: dog, funny,

A Dog's Life

Put on a leash
Sniff sniff sniff sniff
New place to pee

Poem Details | by Oma Bennett |
Categories: animals, food, funny, dog, dog,

The Dog and the Rabbit

The dog seen a rabbit and how he did chase
to catch that little critter and boy what a race

But one thing that rabbit knew as he ran away
he was not going to be lunch for that dog today

Around the tree and  into the bushes he went
the dog was right after that little rabbit's scent

the dog was so busy that he never did see
that big old  hornet nest  way up in the tree

running and barking and making a sound
made all the hornets start buzzing around

They all made a dive and together they flew
when they  hit the dog he knew he was through

He made up his mind right there and then
he would never go chasing that rabbit again

Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: dog, children, funny,

Dog And His Bone

A dog and his bone was on the roam,
Where can I find this bone a home?
Will I bury it next to the tree?
No, too easy for others to see.

What about next to the garden shed?
Maybe in the middle of the garden bed,
Behind the sty where the pigs all are,
What about somewhere right away far.

I think I know what I will do,
I'll just sit down and have a chew,
Tomorrow will be another new day,
I'll find a spot then for the bone to stay.

Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: character, child, childhood, children, dog, fantasy, film, children, giggle, happiness, humorous, imagination, nature, nostalgia, remember, smile, storm, uplifting, visionary, weather,

There's No Place Like Home

Once was a gal who felt so alone
Tornato came up rooted farms home
Landed on wicked  witch
Munchkins came out of ditch
Gave dog lollypops instead of bone  

Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: dog, humor,

My Neighbor's Dachshund



My next door neighbor has a little dog
Who lives his life close to the ground
They laughingly call him "Stretch"
A  much sweeter dog cannot be found

Stretch has an" I can do it" attitude
He tries and tries to jump the fence
Now really, its just my own opinion
But I think he's more than a little dense

He tries to bring in the morning paper
Between his legs he lets it drag along
Almost every day he trips and falls
Never able to figure out what's wrong

He brings a bit of fun to the neighborhood
We gladly doggie- sit when they're away
This goofy little dog with six inch legs
Has a  way of brightening up our day

Poem Details | by JEAN MURRAY |
Categories: dog, girlfriend, humorous,

FARTING FARMER

There once was a farmer called Seamus,
who had an incompetant anus.
When out on a date with girlfriend Kate,
he blamed his dog when he farted,
to prevent her being startled.

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: anti bullying, bullying, giggle, humor, humorous, pets,

A Dog Named Harry

A hairy thing once roamed our streets
Chasing cats for sport and treats.
Till it roamed too far
And a dog catcher and car,
Grabbed Harry and chained his feets.

Poem Details | by Roderick Molasar |
Categories: animal, dog, children, kids, humorous, pets, silly,

See Spot Run

Oh, a mangy little doggie went galumphing down the street
And as his luck would have it he just happened there to meet
A warden with a wagon and a heavy-duty net
And he nabbed the rabid mongrel and he took him to the vet.


Poem Details | by Kim Merryman |
Categories: dog, funny,

Snoopy

Charlie Brown's dog, Snoopy, black and white with ears so droopy, likes to give Lucy a doggie kiss, knowing it will make her fuss and hiss. 5/28/15