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Funny Poems About Drink or Drink Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Drink poems and/or funny poems about Drink. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Drink funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Drink Poems.

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: drink, humorous,

LUCIFER and HOOCH

LUCIFER'S gullet was as parched as hell!

   He said, "Lord, some cold HOOCH, would do me well!"

      Lord said, "In thy condition,

         Smoldering in perdition,

            Not a snowball's chance in the place ye dwell!"

Entry for Catie Lindsey's  "L&H Limericks" Contest 

Took First Place in the contest.


Poem Details | by Paloma P |
Categories: allegory, analogy, drink, funny love, humorous, hyperbole, romance,

Essential Spirits

She was like Bordeaux,
a tall drink of spirit
He was more a hopped
pale lager like Pilsner, 
both gorgeous and
super gingered flavors,
although clashing mid
respective savored aplomb,
one so refined the other
rowdy after hours,
yet they complimented
each other in the way
they blended their
drunken demeanors, 
intoxicated by mere
existence of nature's
essential complexities

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: drink, humorous, nursery rhyme,

SING A SONG OF SICKNESS - ESPECIALLY FOR SAN WOO

Sing a song of sickness after a barrel full of rye Two men drank the whiskey and soon they were pie eyed They woke up in a prison cell; their heads began to ring Now they know the consequences too much alcohol can bring Sadly in their drunken state they’d got into a fight Bill gave Ted a left hook - he looked a sorry sight When their hangovers were over they stood before the law Each received a hefty fine and now their heads are sore! San Woo challenged me to write a parody of her favourite nursery rhyme ... sing a song of sixpence 10~02~16

Poem Details | by Michelo Mweetwa |
Categories: dream, drink, funny, health, imagination, introspection,

If drinking was

I sip and think
I slip and sink
If drinking was building, I would have owned a pyramid
I sip and pee
I sleep at three
If drinking was studying, I would have owned a Phd

Poem Details | by Gary Smith |
Categories: drink, humorous, work,

Just The Daily Grind




A chill wind stung my cheeks
The sky was sullen gray,
I pulled my collar to my chin
And made my weary way.

Nothing too exciting then,
Just the daily grind.
Eight long hours of tedium
To stultify the mind.

Push a button, pack a box
There's targets to be hit,
Team leaders, motivators,
It's all a load of s##t.

Clocking in, clocking out
Until the weekend's here,
Then I'm off down to the pub,
To meet my good friend, beer.






Entry for
CONTEST NO 495,ANY FORM,ANY THEME,
UP TO A MAX OF 20 LINES Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Brian Strand
17/9/18. Placed 1st.

Poem Details | by William Kekaula |
Categories: analogy, appreciation, change, drink, humor, international, music,

True Blue Music Lovers

True Blue Music Lovers Eyes squeezed, ears held shut, When the Koto is plucked, and Kimono girl shrieks in league, After much sake, The Zither is fined tuned, and The Soprano is well dressed. 2019 April 29 *3rd Place* Best Sedoka - 577-577 ~~Lu Loo

Poem Details | by Emilia James |
Categories: dance, drink, fun, humorous,

Night Out Pass Out

Night Out Pass Out

Shower
Half hour

Teeth clean
No green

Paint nails
Smudge fail

Broke nail
More fail

Cold air
Leg wear

Jeans tight
Won fight

Done in 
Drink gin

Room spin
Less gin

Rave shout
Turn out

Dance moves
Bad grooves

Dance bump
With Trump

Not him 
Was Jim

More drink
Cant think

I cry 
Oh why?

Booze talk 
Can't walk

Night gone
All worn

Go home
With gnome

Feel sick
Move quick

Pass out
Snore pout

Sleep tight 
Night Night
     
         08.09.20

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: drink, humorous,

Samuel Adams Beer

A time capsule was uncovered in Olde Boston the other day.

   'Twas found in the Statehouse cornerstone, so they say.

      'Twas placed there by patriots Samuel Adams and Paul Revere.

         'Mongst other things found were three jugs of Samuel Adams Beer!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved

Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: drink, fantasy, funny, good night, happiness,

A wee Irish whiskey

I found myself
a good wee bottle 
of 10 year old Irish whiskey 
under my wee Irish down pillow
that must have been placed there 
by the wee good leprechaun 
tooth fairy

I could not bring myself 
to hurt her wee feelings 
so I opened it up 
and drunk my wee Italian self 
down to sleep
counting 40 pink plaid
wee Irish sheep

Poem Details | by Paul Geiger |
Categories: drink, humor, math,

EXTRAPOLATE

 
When we drink, we get drunk. 
When we get drunk, we fall 
Asleep. When we fall a—
sleep, we commit no sin—
When we commit no sin,
we go to heaven. So—



Adapted from a bon mot of
George Bernard Shaw
6x6 square, math/poetry

Poem Details | by JSLambert Mister ROBOTO |
Categories: bereavement, betrayal, drink, giggle, heaven, hyperbole, obituary,

Machiavelli

Machiavelli  s'been stewing 
teardrops in the Soup

Stooping to new lows 
for SYMPATHY 
stirring chickens in the coop

Seems some folks will do anything 
for what they think is fame
Swiss cheese stories for glory
Lordy! Whaddah' shame!

Reminds me of two classic movies...
"Freddie Lives" and the other is 
"The Crying Game"...
but this one's very unbelievable, it ain't scary,
and it's much
MUCH more lame!~


Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: drink, humorous,

The True Tale Of Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill scrambled up the hill so sheer,

   To fetch his dipsomaniac pa a pail of beer.

      Alas, Jack stumbled creating a frothy spill.

         Facing his furious pop, he blamed it all on Jill!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved

Poem Details | by Nigel Fox |
Categories: humor, malayalam, science, yellow,

Have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water

Vodka
That is what they drink
never water
on no account will a Commie ever drink water
and not without good reason
water that's what I'm getting at
water is the source of all life
seven tenths of this Earth's surface is water
why do you realize that 70 percent of you is water
as human beings you and I 
need fresh pure water to replenish our precious bodily fluids.
are you beginning to understand

That’s why I drink only distilled water
rainwater
or pure-grain alcohol

Have you ever heard of a thing called fluoridation
do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived 
the most and dangerous Communist plot we have ever had to face

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: car, confusion, drink, flower, giggle, humor, humorous,

Nerd Thief

There once was a thief from Chile
Who liked to drink milk with a lilly.
Well the judge was aghast
When examining his past,
But decided he was just silly.

Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: art, drink, friendship, humor, humorous, insect, parody,

A Minnow in my Soup

Waiter waiter!
look!

	but monsieur
	you ordered a minnow soup, n'est pas?

Waiter waiter
Not one swimming 
around in my soup
a brown minnow full of brown poop


I don't want minnow poop
in the soup

why look, its a bald beady eyed minnow
waiter! I swear this minnow is drunk


	ah Monsieur, we give all our minnows wine
	before death

Waiter now I know why Greeks
throw dishes at walls

I swear than damn minnow tried to write
a poem, what gaul!

Plato must be going mad
in his grave

	 Monsieur , can we offer you some Coock & Hen whiskey
	to drown out this bad taste?

No comment

Poem Details | by Reynaldo Mast |
Categories: beautiful, beauty, creation, drink, fruit, humor, humorous, wine,

Grape Wine Drink

Glittering Purple 
So pretty it is so sweet
Fruit of history

Glittering Purple
So pretty it is so sweet
Taste of memory

Glittering Purple
So pretty it is so sweet
Drink from grape it wines

Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: drink, hero, humorous, image, magic, men, wine,

Some ale

Often some ale
makes a man male.

Volodymyr Knyr
2014

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: drink, humorous,

Gen'ral Ulysses Grant

'Twas well-known that Gen'ral Grant liked his rum

   But he knew how to make an army hum

      Lincoln said that if he knew

         Where Ulysses got his brew

            For his slothful gen'rals he'd order some!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: drink, humorous, sad,

NISSED AS A PEWT

Ted got nissed as a pewt last night Tried walking, his legs were not right He stumbled and fell Woke up in a cell … He’ll be back in the pub tonight! Submitted to Any poem not for a contest sponsored by Broken Wings 27th February 2016

Poem Details | by Lisa Costigan |
Categories: drink, funny love, humorous, violence,

Your having a giraffe

Just a normal Sunday sitting on my chair
When all of sudden in walked my auntie uncle Claire

What the hell you doing barging in like that??
He said your not going fu**ing believe it? I just ran over your Cat

I said the only pussy in this house is my other half,
We played a few drinking games and i beat him at charades
He soon ad enough of that tho so i  pulled out deck cards then he stared moaning reckon the games i play are hard.

Well i had enough of his lip i couldn't take no more
so rubbed his face on cheese grater and now hes bloody sore.

Poem Details | by Paloma P |
Categories: allegory, drink, humor, imagery, imagination,

Drunken Pink Elephants Allegory

Intoxicated pinkish elephants electrified in splendiferous drunkenness surmised surrealistic playgrounds of surround sound echoing laughter & expansivly lit hot air balloons merrily drifting to embrace star-dusted skies' kaleidoscopic enchantment ever wonder, do intoxicated pink elephants hallucinate the same as our own alcoholic delirium

Poem Details | by davontay harris |
Categories: blessing, chocolate, crazy, drink, funny, giggle,

chocolate milk

Sitting at a coffee shop 
I look over and see a tall glass of white milk
I go over and say… you look mighty tasty 
I asked, We should go to my place for cookies sometime
A girl looks at me and says
can we make chocolate milk

I look up and say ‘’ oh I’m sorry, I was talking to the glass. ‘’
She got sad, and walked away.
I grab the glass of milk and walked behind her. 
I held her hand and say
‘’ Well I can have both ‘’ 
It takes 2 to tango. 

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: drink, humor,

limerick joke IV

My bride and I on a pub crawl
Near a bar my brain can't recall
Mnemonic power!
I'm thinking "thorned flower"
Which spot dear Rose sells the alcohol?

Poem Details | by Just That Archaic Poet |
Categories: drink, humor, wine,

Inder the Unfluence

Starkle, starkle, little twink, 
"Who the hell are you?" I think. 
I'm not under what you'd call 
The alcofluence of incohol. 
I'm just a little slort of sheep, 
I'm not drunk like thinkle peep. 
It's true: I don't know quite who is me yet, 
(The drunker I stand here the longer I get!)
So give me one more fink to drill my cup, 
'Cause I got all day sober to Sunday up.

*Inspired by "Spoonerisms"

Poem Details | by Julie Grenness |
Categories: drink, football, fun, funny, happy, men, universe,

PARADIGM SHIFT

PARADIGM SHIFT.

Here is my version of a paradigm shift,
Socratic questions if you get my drift!
Why did God make the Universe elliptical?
To make an Aussie football, not spherical!
Why did God make football? See here,
To make men miserable, my dears!
Why did God make beer?
To make men happy, my dears!
So, some intelligent chappies here,
Taking beer to the football, no fears,
Now they're miserable and happy dears!