Humorous and funny Faith poems and/or funny poems about Faith. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Faith funny poems!
Written by
Ann Foster
Categories:
anti bullying, appreciation, cancer, cry, faith, humor
The Unhappy Hostess
Come into my house,
Sit anywhere you like.
No, not at my table,
No, not on my chair.
Come into my house,
Sit anywhere.
I invited you,
I opened up my home.
Oh, I changed my mind,
It is a vaulted tome.
Sit anywhere.
Come into my house,
You really are not welcome.
You are a phantom guest,
And a sadly, unwanted pest,
Yet still...
Sit anywhere.
It is a perfect place,
You should have been more proud,
Just to be invited,
And permitted, in the crowd.
Sit anywhere.
With rules and hidden spaces.
And a common thought out plan,
You do not fit, so do not sit,
“Sit anywhere”.
Written by
Timothy Hicks
Categories:
faith, fun, funny, humorous, religion,
Holy Humor
Jehovah's Witness' Door Pamphlets
Pious
Fly-ahs
Catholic Church During Halloween
Scary
Mary
Scrabble Night With Missionaries
Wordy
Clergy
Preacher Owning at Dungeons & Dragons
Master
Pastor
Our Holiness the Dalai Getting a Text From His Ex
Lama
Drama
Sea Anemone Makes Amends
Moral
Coral
Written by
Ann Rich
Categories:
dedication, devotion, faith, funny, inspirational, introspection
Eternity
I am looking right at you and you don’t even know it.
I will deter your intent and throw you off a steep cliff.
But in the air will be my snuff and gruff you can sniff.
Eventually I will have some sort of mercy of just a bit.
Surely we are above empowering manners of tat for tit.
Maybe I’ll light a scented candle and blow you my whiff.
Or maybe I will strand you grounding your bones to stiff.
Opposed or decomposed and still composed I won’t quit.
Upside down,
Inside or out,
I’ll throw down.
I am the clout.
Don’t mistake my identity,
Either or, it’s your eternity.
® Registered: Ann Rich 2009
Written by
Ella Weiss
Categories:
7th grade, art, death, earth, faith, funny love
Covid-19 Is Everywhere
"Its corona time" they said
I really hope I don't wind up dead
Many people have such as Tom Hanks
He's been tested. It wasn't a prank
Stores are running out of Purell and toilet paper
COVID-19 is like a game and we are all desperate players
Wash your hands and say a prayer
Becasue coronavirus is everywhere
Written by
Wandering Butterfly
Categories:
caregiving, death, faith, father, funny
The Dumbest, Smart Man
The dumbest, smart man
Has bent his last bow
Common sense he was lackin’
But, intelligent, no doubt
His I.Q. was genius
Human nature was low
So much still to learn
But, for him, time to go
He tought me mechanics,
Math, history, and how to fight
Now his fighting days are over
He went on wading to the light
So, I have a prayer
Dear God, it is for you
Please look after my Daddy
As I wish I could do
And thank you for the time
Well spent by his side
I will never forget
The way he lived with pride
-Miranda Lambert-
4/8/2011
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
allegory, faith, food, funny, philosophy,
A Day In the Near Future
What dark force wears the devil’s mark (666)
And bites those thrown off “Noah’s Ark”?
Dragging sweets through the mud
While chomping for blood...
A bully is like a white shark*
*Only white sharks have better table manners, and so in the tradition of Emily Post—the innocent eventually rise up and seek justice—and use knives (and forks and spoons)!
This poem was inspired by Laura Breidenthal's recent poem entitled "666".
Written by
Duke Beaufort
Categories:
faith, funny, humorous, religion,
The Gun and God Combo
"The peacemaker" is Glock's new gun
Its spent rounds are rapture and fun
Yes killing's a thrill
Since I'm mentally ill
And need to own more than just one
A gun for me is like prozac
The bullets clipped pills in a stack
I'm not paranoid
But have weapons deployed
In case I should have an attack
Written by
Toquyen Harrell
Categories:
faith, fun, funny,
Tax Time
I am going to write a funny poem
Does God ever say you have to be God?
When are you going to know?
Let me know okay?
Do you know what God does?
He does what you do haha
So watch it
You don't want to do a bad job, do you?
His reputation is at stake
Forget it - you don't care about that
You just care about you
Be careful, will ya?
I am gentle and extra sensitive
What am I?
Not a flower!
What are you?
Why do you tax me?
Don't you know that I'm taxed enough?
Uncle Sam and now you
Lol
Ahh it's that time
Okay I will make you pay haha
Written by
Renee Kelly
Categories:
faith, funny
Door-To-Door Snake Oil Salesmen
"Let's spread the word of the Lord!" they exclaimed
"Knocking on doors - surely none could be blamed!"
It's simply a matter of time
Up the walls we will climb
Our inevitable ire will thus be inflamed
Written by
Roland Fleming
Categories:
christian, faith, funny, god, happy, humorous
Quit My Job, Smashed My Car
Quit my job, smashed my car
My back does throb, need to learn guitar
So I can make, a silly song
And I can sing, it all day long
About how, my God is strong
So that even now, nothing’s wrong
Even though, I quit my job
smashed my car, my back does throb
Life is hard, but I’ve got God
So I won’t let any thought
Any worry or fear
Convince me you’re not near
Even when, I quit my job,
Smashed my car, my back does throb
Life is hard, but I won’t sob
I need to learn guitar
Written by
Poet. Undertaker
Categories:
humor,
John Biscuit, the Faith
Once there was a man called John biscuit, the faith
“What you believe you are, you are” biscuit’s great faith
Come hell or high water
Shame, redicule no matter
Bloody biscuit what do you believe? Tell the truth.
Written by
Beata Agustin
Categories:
appreciation, character, faith, hero, how i feel, humorous
National Hero
Philippine national hero, Jose Rizal is multi-talented
What he wrought as leader, linguist, eye doctor, and novelist can't be counted
Along comments about his religious convictions and faith*-tenacity
Besides his affairs with varied ladies of pleasing personality.
1Peter 1:5 Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
January 25, 2019
4th place, "Educate Me with Humor - Leader Clerihew" Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Andrea Dietrich; judged on 2/3/2019.
Written by
Toquyen Harrell
Categories:
faith, fun, funny,
Song Excerpts' Nonsense
I want to know where love is". Where have you been looking?
"Love will turn you around". How do you know?
"You want twice, three times ah lady". Wow, I want that many lol.
"I remember how you love me". You'd better haha.
"Baby, I want you". How much do you want me? lol
"Hey, you got to hide your love away". Why? You got to?
"You are everything and everything is you". Lol, really?
"I never dream that I need somebody like you". Do you dream of anything else? haha
"When I need you, just close my eyes then I am with you". Okay okay I have too much of this
I think I will stop for now. All these dreamy songs are putting me to sleep. Good night.
Written by
Marilyn Williams
Categories:
depression, faith, for him, funny, future, memory
Do I Remember
I write it, but remember not.
I say it, but forget me not.
I feel it how it has to come,
did I not feel like a perfect bum.
So what it is I am trying to remember,
my place and where I was December.
Written by
Verlena S. Walker
Categories:
character, culture, faith, humor, humorous, word play
Done Deal
[A] DONE DEAL
[A] defeated disgusting man this is.
Disallowed defense because of his disease.
[A] Done deal to compete with the Dogs!
Distribute dinner to him as a better eat of hog maws.
Do not deliberate this as a lost.
[A] Done Deal depletes the prognosis.
Dis Dell do.
Hair her head to...
[A] Done deal the truth!
_________________|
PENNED ON JULY 04, 2014!
Written by
Volodymyr Knyr
Categories:
faith, health, humorous, people, prayer, religion
A Simple X-Ray
Too often, a simple X-ray
makes militant atheists pray.
Volodymyr Knyr
2014
Written by
William Herzog
Categories:
adventure, art, bible, desire, faith, funny love
Keep In Your Heart
Keep love in your heart and do not fall apart
Keep wisdom in your heart and ask Bart
Keep power in your heart and go to K-mart
Keep spirit in your heart and go and get the merit
Written by
Toquyen Harrell
Categories:
crazy, faith, funny,
Veer Right
So you think you are ready for anything?
Sure? No?
Thought so
From whom do you get your talents?
Future thinker, are you not?
So how can it be from your parents lol?
Give credit where credit is due
From where are you coming from?
Not from the womb!
From heaven
Lighten up
You are ruffled
lol
Grrrr
Grrrr
Far truth
Far fetched
Really?
Has anyone ever called you an angel?
Cmon
Dedicated you to the Lord
Gee
Hmm
Yup
Case closed
Beam me up, Scotty
Haha
Written by
Victoria Anderson-Throop
Categories:
faith, funny, life, philosophy, religion,
Men of God
MEN OF GOD
Kenya is a Godly nation
Check on any TV station
Starts at dawn and goes all day
Teaching people how to pray
Then at night it's shilling serious
With the watchers drunk –delirious-
If you want the chance to pray
First you get the chance to pay
“Men of God,” my colleague swilled--
“Deserve a special God-rate bill.
When I do a job for them
Charge them twenty not just ten.”
Victoria Anderson-Throop ©
12/01/12 Juja, Kenya Africa
Written by
Viviane Leite
Categories:
art, dedication, education, faith, friendship, funny
It Is Now
Ain't a word, you said.
but it takes a daring gust
for things start to be.
Written by
Mohamed Adel
Categories:
faith, heaven, humorous, lost love,
In Heaven
I will try to be a good man
And do good deeds as long as I'm livin'
I will try to behave as I can
Shall I eventually go to heaven
For I hear there you can ask God for....
Anything you want, whatever it may be
I'll try to be good shall I go to heaven
So I can ask him to make you love me!
Written by
Victoria Anderson-Throop
Categories:
faith, life, sister, visionary,
Job's Funny Sister
JOB'S FUNNY SISTER
Job's sister
didn't need a whale
life ate her
Written by
Darian Brown
Categories:
childhood, faith, friendship, funny, life, lost love
Happy Day of Birth
Dear dead properties, L-o-L
Now back to earth and for what it’s worth
A new year is a laudable blessing commencing rebirth
Advance in life and don’t come back, kidding
Just don’t retreat or look back
Sweet sixteen I’m glad you’re that
On your back, me support thou sat
Feliz cumpleaños, and good luck
Love, a hungry acquaintance
Written by
Toquyen Harrell
Categories:
faith, fun, funny,
Nail
I want to write a funny poem now
after reading Darryl's poem
Why do men think there is no tomorrow?
Because they always want it today
What does a bird say to a bee?
Watch me haha
I'd better keep it clean
Keep it down, will you?
The neighbors are sleeping ha
Is there earthquake around here?
I heard the ground is shaking
Don't be too long
I'm coming haha
That's it for now
I hope you enjoy it
Earthshaking moves
Easy will ya?
Inspired by Darryl Ashton's "Body Talk - remotely" poem. Thanks, Darryl :)
Written by
Xavier Keough
Categories:
faith, funny, history, parody,
Charlemagne
Germanic proverb
Do not squeeze the Charlemagne
Sanguine pious prose