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Funny Poems About Family or Family Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Family poems and/or funny poems about Family. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Family funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Family Poems.

Poem Details | by Mary Nagy |
Categories: angst, daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, love, car,

Princess Needs A New Car

Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '

'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust! 
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.

'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much, 
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'! 

Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.


Poem Details | by MoonBee Canady |
Categories: daughter, family, funny, happiness, life, love, mother, nature, nostalgia, peace, people, seasons

Its Raining...

                          Its Raining…

God’s Cleansing Tool
Cloud-Concerto… How Cool !
Plop-Plop Plopping into Pothole Pools
On the Grass, Pavements and On My Own-Sweet- Fools…

who, don’t have Sense enough, to get out of the Rain…
… I think I’ll go Join Them… Again

                               Amen

Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: family, funny, imagination

Two Riding On A Single

Two riding on a single
Man! How fast that bike will go
Down the hill around the curve
Blow wind blow

At the very bottom piled up
In a culvert drain
In great agony and pain
Totally distained

Crumpled metal, torn clothes
Bleeding and blood stains
Harsh words from parents
Tears as soap and water cleaned

All the cuts and bruises
And clothes that had to be changed
What an ending to Christmas
The joy of Santa's gift

Lying dented and scuffed bent
Beside the porch needing to be fixed

Poem Details | by Annika Johnson |
Categories: child, childhood, family, humorous, sympathy, teacher, child, school, child, school,

School

Why does a child have to go to school?
Why do we have to spend so much time working?
This seems simply cruel.
Isn't it just irking?

Some people say school is important for learning
Couldn't a child learn on their own?
It would cause much less yearning,
After all, we can learn from our phones.

I can somewhat see a parents point in sending their child to school.
But why would you choose what we wear?
It just allows us to look like fools,
We may as well come to school bear.

As you can see school is not fair,
So please don’t force us to go if you care.


Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: family, funny, Grandson,

Jabberwacky

I know a scamp who chortles frabjously
as in the springtime galumphing he goes.
And just to show how wacky he can be,
he makes his tongue point up to touch his nose!

He has no wicked claws or eyes with flame
to match those of the manxome Jabberwock.
But just beware his jaws. Although he’s tame,
he can’t be stopped once he begins to talk!

I vouch that he can jabber endlessly
and have me at the end of my short rope.
My ears just might fall off one day, for he
gyres gibberish just like a gyroscope.

I dub my beamish grandson “Jabberwack”
for how he acts and how he loves to yak!


For Debbie Guzzi's "Go Ask Alice" Contest

Poem Details | by Carol Sunshine Brown |
Categories: family, funny, history, life,

The Brown Tree

All the nuts fell to the ground
The sane ones on branches hang
Long line from many countries
My family tree

Poem Details | by Timothy Brumley |
Categories: family, funny, mother

A Clean Hacienda

There once was a woman named Linda

Who would keep a clean hacienda

     Till four children she bore

     And then bore she one more...

She now has a different agenda!




                            Timothy I. Brumley

Poem Details | by jo davis |
Categories: family, food, funny, happiness, health, inspirational, life, people, uplifting,

Soul Food

Bagels and baguettes
Bap or fried bake,
The fruits of the flour
are easy to make

Chollah, chapatti  
Cinnamon bun
These global delights
make eating such fun

Filled with Caribbean sweet meat
like Guava jam,
Scottish smoked salmon; 
Or Danish roast ham

Add a fresh fruit salad,
 some sparkling wine
A candle, red roses and  
you’re ready to dine.



Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY

In flagranti with an unknown lover Sprang apart from underneath the cover How his wife she did shout Now his secret was out - His hidden lover was her own mother! 4th March 2015

Poem Details | by Johnette Loefgren |
Categories: family, funny,

No,You Hold the Chicken!

   No,you hold the chicken
you hold the duck
you hold the baby;
I'll drive the truck!

  You bring the corn bread
I'll bring the wine
we'll go to Mamas'
and have a good time

  You wake up Grandad
I'll feed the cow
get us some slop
and start sloppin the sow

  Get Jr.'s overalls
off of the line
Let's go to Mamas'
and have us a time!

  Go get my banjo
and Grand Daddy's fiddle
yor juice harp's out back
on the porch where I whittle

   We'll have us a ho down
a shindig devine
Let's go to Mamas'
and have us a time!

   She'll spread out the grunions
under the pines
Let's all go to Mamas'
and have a good time!
C'mon,
Y'all!!

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: 12th grade, family, father daughter, humor, humorous, mother daughter, relationship,

My Princess

When I grow up, will I still be princess?

Of course, says glowing daddy. 
 
A roll of the queen’s eyes.

Poem Details | by David Dowling |
Categories: family, children, funny, happiness, inspirational, love

Grumplicious!

Why are you so grumpy?
Pray, what made you so?
What gave rise to those dark eyes,
and snivel on your nose?

Why are you so grumpy?
-Don't give me the charade!
I see through that bright red nose,
upon that white clown face!

Why are you so grumpy?
Oh, come now, don't hold back.
I know you know that I know well,
the way you always act.

You cover and hide,
and hurry your stride,
you act as though I'm clueless.
Pout and weep,
mumble and freep,
I know that's no word, BUT YOU DO IT!

So if you're feelin' grumpy,
don't let that raincloud set.
The day that comes after this one,
could be your greatest yet!

Poem Details | by Joseph Spence Sr |
Categories: adventure, family, fantasy, funny, happiness, holiday, music,

Fantasy Escape (Senryu)

World of Walt Disney The day after Thanksgiving Shoulder to shoulder © Joseph 11/23/07 © All Rights Reserved Author’s Comments: The Japanese Senryu format has three lines as follows: the first has five syllables, the second seven syllables, and the third five syllables. The pattern is 5/7/5 for a total of seventeen syllables. The Senryu is about an emotional expression, human nature, and things in the human realms which maybe satiric or humorous.

Poem Details | by Cheryl Ann Ross |
Categories: family, funny, life,

Dirty Laundry


I’ve come to believe that dirty laundry
is alive.
Just when you’re down to one batch, you turn
around and there are five.

And I also believe that laundry runs around
at night by itself.
“Cause “no one” gets it dirty, or takes it down
from the shelf.

“I don’t know where it all came from” is
what I always hear.
All those towels have a mind of their own, is
now what I fear.

There’s four kids, three adults and seven days in
the week.
How that can turn into twenty batches,..to this
question, the answer I seek.

If I’d just invested in Proctor and Gamble when
they first went on the market,
Today I’d have a Rolls Royce, along with  a 
driver to park it.

 

Poem Details | by Michael Wise |
Categories: family, food, horse, humorous,

My Sweet Aunt Mabel

There is my sweet Aunt Mabel
sitting across the table
ever since her divorce
she eats like a horse
so we put her up in a stable

Poem Details | by David De la Croes |
Categories: family, giggle, granddaughter, grandfather,

I wish - poem for my granddaughter

I wish I could look at a flower through your eyes
and discover why you are so fascinated by it.

I wonder why your eyes glisten
when you look at the stars,
and why you smile at the moon.

I wish I could find out what triggers you
to jump and skip, or giggle with glee
and I strain my ears to hear the silent melody
which causes you to break out in song.

I wish I could embrace someone so firmly
as you do when you jump up to greet me.

I wish I were like you when I was a child.

Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: childhood, daughter, dedication, devotion, education, family, children, funny, happiness, health, imagination, inspirational, life, love, people, philosophy, thank you, uplifting, visionary

Quit Running

mom say's
quit running !!!!
  {walk}

Poem Details | by Sarah Cassleman |
Categories: dad, family, funny, grandfather, grandmother, mother, mom, dad, dad, mom,

My Heritage

My heritage is a mixture
Of backgrounds.  Let's start on 
My Dad's side of the family.

My Dad's mom is Irish and English.

My Dad's dad is Irish and German.

My Mom's mom is Scottish and Irish.

My Mom's dad is blood Hungarian.

So in other words,
I'm a mutt!  or as others say,
"Heinz 57!"

Poem Details | by JSLambert Mister ROBOTO |
Categories: caregiving, childhood, confusion, family, father, children, funny, happiness, holiday, husband, imagination, life, mother, natural disasters, nature, parody, people, places, satire, social, son, teen, wife

Redneck FATHER'S DAY------

***NOTE~TO BE READ WITH A RIDICULOUS "SILKY SOUTHERN DRAWL" (have fun:)***



"Storm over yet...?"

"Well hay'ell ye'ah! 
 woo-hoo!
 sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
 whadda'bou  that boy th'er?
 sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"

"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"

"Wha'choo sayin? 
 wha'th'a?
 na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
 shoot! 
 'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm! 
 torna'durr warnin' too!
 he gonna have him'a cole burr;  
 on me!"
 my treat!
 mama, git him'a cole burr! 
 ro'tt now; 
 ya'here?
 besides...
 ta'days father's day!" 



© 2011  ~JSLambert Esquire

   










Poem Details | by Laura Breidenthal |
Categories: beautiful, child, childhood, children, emotions, family, feelings, kids, giggle, growing up,

Water Balloons

stretching it
balloon breaks on faucet
spray giggles

5-14-13

Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: childhood, education, family, fantasy, children, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, imagination, inspirational, life, love, people, teen, uplifting, visionary

Stuck On You

braces interlocked - told him no kissing

Poem Details | by JSLambert Mister ROBOTO |
Categories: allegory, childhood, family, food, children, funny, happiness, hope, imagination, inspirational, nature, seasons, uplifting

Orange you Glad to be---an Orange---

     Contract Delete

Poem Details | by Mark Goodson |
Categories: childhood, family, fear, children, funny, life, mother,

A Mother's discipline

With soap in hand placed in my mouth
Head hangs over toliet tongue heads south
Dirty words no more

Poem Details | by Edward Ebbs |
Categories: family, funny, life,

Beers and Tears

Men measure life by the number of beers
Women measure life by the flow of tears
It is when the dad farts
His wife moans in her heart
Because her own children laugh and cheer

Edward J Ebbs - October 11, 2011
Limerick Contest 

Poem Details | by Payne Poet |
Categories: adventure, anniversary, caregiving, daughter, family, fantasy, forgiveness, funny, happiness, health, holiday, hope, imagination, life, passion, peace, travel,

Dancing Angels

Angels in heaven
Dancing on a small puddle
Always stay afloat