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Funny Poems About Father Daughter or Father Daughter Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Father Daughter poems and/or funny poems about Father Daughter. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Father Daughter funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Father Daughter Poems.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: father daughter, health, humorous,

SUGAR DADDY - TWO LENSES

Childhood Days I’d heap spoonfuls of sugar in my tea I wouldn’t drink it without it you see That sweet syrupy drink Wasn’t poured down the sink Every single drop was supped up by me! Adulthood Dad’s diabetes made me think - Did I need to sweeten my drink So I cut sugar out And I don’t have a doubt I’m slimmer and I’m in the pink Contest: Two Lenses Sponsor Sara Kendrick 02~20~16


Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: 12th grade, family, father daughter, humor, humorous, mother daughter, relationship,

My Princess

When I grow up, will I still be princess?

Of course, says glowing daddy. 
 
A roll of the queen’s eyes.

Poem Details | by Smail Poems |
Categories: age, angel, baseball, beauty, butterfly, caregiving, celebration, character, child, father daughter, feelings, film, fishing, flower, football, children, for her, friend, fun, funny, gender, girl, girlfriend, giving, graduation, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, growing up, growth, hair, happiness, happy, health, heart, hero,

Princesses

Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!

Poem Details | by John Posey |
Categories: dad, family, father daughter, humorous, sister,

Daddy's Mantel Clock

Daddy had a mantel clock on that shelf above the fire. I remember how it sometimes seemed to call my Sis a liar. Sis would be out on a date and the wheels of time would turn My dad, it seemed would always be awake when she returned. Now Daddy was quite strict on Sis – at nine she must be in. And she was in real trouble if it was as late as ten. “Darlin’, what’s the time?” he’d yell as she slipped in.. “Daddy, it’s about nine,” she’d shout, as that old clock struck ten. Written By John Posey 12/25/12

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: child, christmas, conflict, father daughter, humorous, parody,

PARODY OF THE BEATLES SONG - YESTERDAY

Christmas Day Pa threw all my new toys away Now my friends won’t want to come and play Cos I was naughty yesterday Suddenly All the gifts disappeared from ‘neath the tree Now the carpet’s bare for all to see Pa snapped at me so suddenly Why I had to drown our old cat I cannot say She fell in the loo so I flushed the cat awayyyyyyyyyyy Christmas Day Pa threw all my new toys away Santa delivered them on his red sleigh But when Pa is mad, there’s no leeway Purely Fictional write inspired by hearing Yesterday on the radio 09-11-17

Poem Details | by John Trainer |
Categories: birth, father, father daughter, humorous, universe,

The Birth of a Thought

I gave birth to a thought today
A shiny little supposition
It wept about all the possibilities
Endless creativity 
Directionless refractivity
Like protons racing around an atom blaster
My thoughts began to multiply
It was the Big Bang of my Universe
Then I heard the voice of an angel
Say, “Daddy, this is my science project.”
And now the birth of a thought
Gave birth to a Black Hole

Poem Details | by Dialectic Crisis |
Categories: angst, father, father daughter, father son, funny, integrity, silly,

Existentially Deconstructing the Knock-Knock Joke into the Perfect Moral Tale

"Knock-Knock!" - Who's there?
"Diaphragms!" - Diaphragms who?
"Diaphragms...Don't always seem to work...
...I don't know how else to tell you this...
...So I am just gonna say it 
as politically correct
and incorrectly apolitical 
as I've been reprogrammed to speak
by The Disney Company:
"Luke, I am your sperm donor!"
- I sure hope I don't disappoint you as much 
as George Lucas disappoints God and such..."

Poem Details | by Janice Canerdy |
Categories: father daughter, humor,

I'Am Sew Sorrie, Daddie

		Young Deborah's text to her dad
		revealed that her skills are quite bad.
		She meant, "Just got paid,"
		but said, "Just got laid."
		Her dad was astonished and MAD!

		When Deb realized what she'd said,
		her face turned a bright, glowing red.
		What did she do next?
		She sent a new text:
		"I ment PADE, firgiv me!" she pled.

July 25, 2016

written for Royal Ninja's Crimson Poetry Contest





Poem Details | by David Smith |
Categories: anxiety, beautiful, education, father daughter, growing up, horror, humor,

Hopes for my daughters

I have two daughters beautiful and smart,
I knew that from the start.

Equality with men
I know is important to them.

I just hope they are not in a hurry
To marry.

As I don't know many men who can be 
Right 50 percent of the time like me.

And if they by chance marry some swine,
Will they have to share their jail time.

Poem Details | by randy johnson |
Categories: daughter, father, father daughter, funny, girl, humor, humorous,

I Shouldn't Have Watched Girls Gone Wild

I used to watch those Girls Gone Wild videos but I stopped.
The last one that I saw was so shocking that my jaw dropped.
At first everything was fine but then I suddenly screamed "No, not her!"
The reason why I suddenly screamed was because I saw my daughter.
Seeing her on that video nearly gave me a heart attack, I was in a bad shape.
I called the Girls Gone Wild phone number and I ordered all of those tapes.
I burned every one of those tapes after I doused them with gas.
Then I told my daughter that if she ever removes her top again, I'll kick her ***.
I made a firm decision right there and then.
I swore never to watch Girls Gone Wild again.

(This is a fictional poem)

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: christmas, father daughter, humorous,

A DEAD BORING GIFT - THE WORST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER

Her father gave her a burial blot (Not jewellery or clothes or a yacht!) When Debbie’s interred low Will they add a gift bow Still for now it’s a gift she’ll boycott! I read this article on-line from the ‘Mirror’ newspaper and I couldn’t resist writing a limerick about it. I would have loved to see her face when she was told what she had been given! http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/my-dad-bought-burial-plot-11688469 12/27/17

Poem Details | by Abiygayil Yisrael |
Categories: character, confusion, father daughter, funny, giggle, humor, humorous,

GOOD MORNING MISTER WALKA

GOOD MORNING MISTER WALKA

Good morning Mister WALKA
I come to see your DAUGHTA,
I hope it's not ah BOTHA,
Cause all I really wanted was a cold glass of WATA
And so, if it is not such ah BOTHA, Mister WALKA
I'd love to give her a QUARTA,
If she would give me a cold glass of WATA.
So, what do you say Mister WALKA? can I see your DAUGHTA, right away
Before LATA, if you may. And if it is not such ah BOTHA.
By the way, are you sure, you are  her FATHA, and not her BROTHA? For you sure act like her MOTHA. Oh shoot! MR. WALKA, why did I even BOTHA with you,
When I could have gone to AH-NOTHA.

Poem Details | by Andrew Battaglino |
Categories: father daughter, humorous,

Digger from Oyster Bay


Digger from Oyster Bay

There once was a digger from old Oyster Bay
Who did the right thing on a very wrong day
While taking a hike down a long winding trail
Saw his daughter and mailman delivering mail
Surprisingly on take your daughter to work day

Poem Details | by Richard Breese |
Categories: adventure, angst, animal, anxiety, daughter, father daughter, giggle,

Disgruntled Wife

My wife needed a wig for the ball
For hers you see would not do at all.
Cause she colored and cropped
And then finally chopped,
Til it now fits our daughter's toy doll.

Poem Details | by Vladimir Tumanov |
Categories: daughter, father daughter, father son, humor, humorous, men, son,

Unfair Names

I’ve been called an inequity spotter (although some will just call me a “rotter”). Names are biased for sons: yours and mine — everyone’s. I propose to make JohnSON — JohnDAUGHTER.

Poem Details | by Jessica Amanda Salmonson |
Categories: city, family, father, father daughter, father son, hero, humor,

Our Dads

An old gent was tellin' me about how his dad wrote "a dry book" on a given topic, and argued the issue before the Supreme Court. Pretty important dad! And mine? "My dad rescued two hookers during a boxer riot in Kowloon."