Humorous and funny Fishing poems and/or funny poems about Fishing. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Fishing funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Fishing Poems.
fishing, humor, sea,
A fishing boat left the port of Kinsale
The rain was lashing and blowing a gale
Fishing grounds were in sight
Then they had a great fright
Along side swam a giant killer whale.
A fish pong round the boat was so smelly
"Hold your noses "cried out Captain Kelly
Whale then bit off a chunk
Fishing boat and crew sunk
They all ended up in the whales belly.
Written 5th August 2019.
Syllables in both stanza's
Syllable check at how many syllables .com
Two sea themed limericks' poetry contest
Tania Kitchin - Sponsor .
august, beach, beautiful, cool, crush, deep, destiny, devotion, fantasy, feelings, first love, fishing, freedom, funny love, future, girlfriend, hope, i love you, i miss you, journey, joy, judgement, lost love, love, love hurts, meaningful, miracle, ocean, people, places, romance, sea, sensual, simple, spiritual, water, women, world,
Don't rush to wash off the sea salt
drying on your skin;
the hopes it carries from other oceans,
those remain yet to be seen.
fishing, funny, humor, humorous,
I once heard of a fisher Luciano,
who sang bass as he played on his piano.
Once he fished and cast his line
by mistake hooked his behind
since that day, when he plays he sings soprano.
How many syllables.com
11, 11, 7, 7, 11
Sponsor Roy Jerden
Limericks Clean and Clever
There once swam a catfish named Ben
hadn't eaten since who knows when
my worm looked just right,
Ben took a big bite.
No one's seen Ben swim'n since then.
Ben put up a heck of a fight
was thrashing with all of his might
when reeling him in,
that fish seemed to grin,
and spit out my worm just for spite.
Old Ben made one heck of a meal
couldn't help but think how he'd feel
if he'd been the one,
who had battled and won,
from the opposite side of the reel.
Robert L. Hinshaw
There was once an old man from Altoona
Who decided to cast for some tuna
'Twas a mermaid he landed
He sighed saying off-handed
"How I wish I had caught her much soona!"
Oh! How I would love to make her my bride
But I'm old, grizzled and gray and, beside
'Twould be my usual luck
She'd take up with some young buck,
So I will release her at next high tide
Entry for Tania Kitchin's "Two Sea Themed Limerick" Contest
(27 July 2019)
TOOK 3D PLACE IN THE CONTEST
age, angel, baseball, beauty, butterfly, caregiving, celebration, character, child, father daughter, feelings, film, fishing, flower, football, children, for her, friend, fun, funny, gender, girl, girlfriend, giving, graduation, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, growing up, growth, hair, happiness, happy, health, heart, hero,
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Just like you!
So far offshore, but nothing was biting
Six-pack behind me looked so inviting
New rod I placed on the deck
Though it was just for a sec
‘Twas then an amberjack hit like lightning
The buoyant rod bounded over each wave
Determined, I vowed that pole I would save
Spun my boat in fit of rage
Against this fish, war I’d wage
An Ahab-like victory I did crave
With a gaffing hook, I retrieved the pole
To catch amberjack, I’d be on a roll
Barracuda caught it first
Fell overboard, then submersed
The ‘cuda eyed me as his dessert goal
*Entry for Frank's "Summer Memory" contest
cheer up, corruption, crazy, fishing, giggle, humor,
If I had but one wish
I would want back my pet fish.
For my uncle came to town
And in mother's dressing gown,
Served him on her favorite dish.
Jerry T Curtis
fish, fishing, funny, humor, humorous, ireland, vacation,
Finn and Mcgee
went fishing once more
With the money they saved up all year
They rented a cabin
up by the lake
And filled it with fish bate and beer
For two weeks of fishing
They made it their mission
To wake up and start at first light
With poles in their hands
They hardly could wait
For a big fish to come up and bit
Day after day
They fished and they fished
but barely got even a nibble
Then on the last day
McGee caught a trout
That apparently wasn't so fickle
Now on the way Home
Finn said " McGee
You Know what this fish, has cost you----
---A thousand Quid"
"Well Finn, if it did
Then I glad I didn't catch two"
fishing, for her, funny, romance,
Are your feet tired? You've been running through my mind all night.
fishing, funny, humorous,
I love fishing in the deep blue sea,
but that fishing sure cost a lot to me.
First you have to gas up the car,
sometimes you have to go far.
Of course you have to stop for breakfast for two,
it cost $34.50 what can you do.
Then we need to rent a boat,
I hope this one really floats.
And then you need bait and such,
boy it really cost too much.
Finally we are out in the bay,
we fish in the sun all day.
We return home burned, broken and well done,
I guess we even had some fun.
However no fish were caught this day,
so pizza for dinner, it's OK.
bird, fish, fishing, humor,
I thought lets go fishing
fancying a fish pie
or maybe fish and chips
that would do the trick
I set off, rod and bucket
full of worms in my hands
found a good spot to fish
by the rocks on the beach
Patiently I waited for a bite
then my rod dipped and bucked
soon I had four nice whoppers
flapping around in my bucket
Needing to answer call of nature
I slipped in between the trees
alas when I returned I found
one happy pelican looking full
An empty bucket he'd scoffed the lot
I sighed as I chucked a stone
it missed him by a country mile
no fish for supper I had no more worms
contest Gone Fishing
sponsor Caleb Smith
funny, nature, sports, fishing,
They say that fishing is a sport,
but who wants to compete with a fish?
These small, slimy swimmers
often end up as someone's main dish.
The fish's pea sized brain
is usually fooled by store bought bait.
The only problem for the fisherman
is how long his patience must wait.
A fishing rod and decorated hook
lures the brainless victim to its death.
After its fins slap the human skin,
the fisherman brags with every breath.
A cold blooded fish's defeat
means little on the scoreboard of life.
If fishing is meant to be a sport,
why are the losers chopped up with a knife?
Harold Hunt sr
fish, fishing, funny, hilarious, humor, humorous,
I went fishing the other day.Caught a fish that I was surprised.
The fish was a least six inches long.
I took my fish and went to the market to look for beer.
Their I told, the butcher I caught a fish.
That was 12 inches long.
On the way to my house I saw a cop friend of mine.
I told him that i had a fish that was 18 inches long.
I stopped for a few beers at the bar I saw joey the postman.
I told joey that i had a whopper of a fish that was
Two feet long
fish, fishing, funny, humorous,
I can’t understand the ambition
Of people who love to go fishin’.
Outsmarting your dinner
Might say you’re a winner,
But what when you fail in that mission?
children, funny, people,
There's a fellow named Robert O'Toole.
He's the principal down at the school.
He cut classes today,
So the gossips all say.
Went fishing for bass in the car pool.
Sidney Hall Mad Poet
I went a fishin in the neighborhood pond
Just when I cast it in I had to suddenly abscond
I didn’t think it was wrong
But the pond wore a thong
I was chased by the husband of Gertrude the blond
fishing, humorous, irony, jobs, time,
He wanted to go and catch scallops
gets into a boat called a shallops*
He didn’t look at the time
And had committed a crime
It’s into the court he now gallops
Five thousand pounds he’s now got to pay
A ‘timely’ error on the said day
This ‘scallop advisor’
Just should have been wiser
This fishy story won’t go away!
Poem based rather ironically on a TRUE story in the Manx press today
*a little poetic licence about his boat but a Shallops is a sailing boat used for coastal fishing
15th January 2018
Gary Wayne Hill
children, kids, funny, grandson,
This is the first in a series of poems about my cheeky grandson, Luke
Luke decided to go fishing
On a warm spring like day
With a huge net on a poll
And an old jam jar he found on the way
He didn't catch any fish
But got some frog spawn in the jar
Off home he wandered quite happily
He didn't have to go all that far
Later that night he felt hungry
Eyed the frog spawn with glee
"That looks just like jelly,
I wonder what it tastes like" thought he
Now I am afraid to say he did eat it
It would have made him ill you'd have thought
But it didn't do any harm at all
Though he did get a frog in his throat.
Two friends near a bridge start to fish
Catching whoppers is so their wish
For a meal is to be sought
So no fish need to be bought
Like a hunter hunts for his dish
Just as they are about to cast
A funeral procession drives past
A fisher takes of his cap
This most respectful of chap
The thoughts of man in contrast
After the pause reverberates cheers
A beauty caught, bring out the beers
Hey Dave, what I've just seen
Shows fishers are never mean
Well we were married for nearly 20 years
* From a joke to a Limerick *
beautiful, business, cool, fishing, girl, humor, imagination,
My nails grow longer in the heat,
I like to keep them short, hands and feet,
pedicure and manicure by the girls in Phuket,
they give you more, full service and yet . . . .
I don't need my shoulders or head massaged,
there's a slap on the back as their fingers emerged,
nothing too intimate otherwise I might get ********,
the personal service should be my selection.
Now there's a mask on my face, an extra they say,
don't worry, it's free, you won't have to pay,
I' m not too keen on cucumber, peer over the edge,
shouldn't be so fussy, after all it's a privilege.
I walk out of the shop, spent my last Thai coin,
can't help but notice - there's a swelling in my groin.
art, crazy, fishing, funny, poets, river,
Whispers dance inside my head
Reflections glance at a substance dead
Confirmations of my unpoetical pen
Only white spaces mirrored back
No one has a word to say
The mirror tells I should go away
The oceans piers toss me deep
Into contemplation of my rude upkeep
Sheepish sins, bitter gin
The naked truth
No one reads my scribbles doo
Oh how my dribble makes me blue
whiskered water cats
caught and cleaned in fresh fillet
sizzling river wok
John G. Lawless
For PD’s River Walk(?) contest
Alone I sit by the hole
Using a stick as a pole
A salmon to catch
Without a scratch
It seemed a simple goal
Sunlight played a trick
Felt like there was a pick
Empty rod came out
No salmon or trout
Only a drenched wick
Alas it was time to dine
Opened sardine in brine
Enjoyed lovely fish
Without a dish
Fishing it seems went fine
With longer hair her one wish,
she cooked up a special dish,
ate the beans of Uncle Jack,
hope he didn't want them back!
Now with her hair, she could fish.
Used The Magic Bean Locks by Andrea Dietrich