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Funny Poems About Football or Football Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Football poems and/or funny poems about Football. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Football funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Football Poems.

Poem Details | by John Pen |
Categories: football, fun, funny, humor, humorous, soccer, sports,

World Cup 2014

Pain in Spain
Bland England
Shame in the game
Who do you blame
When your approach is lame
Three lions or three blind mice?
I wonder


Poem Details | by Smail Poems |
Categories: age, angel, baseball, beauty, butterfly, caregiving, celebration, character, child, father daughter, feelings, film, fishing, flower, football, children, for her, friend, fun, funny, gender, girl, girlfriend, giving, graduation, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, growing up, growth, hair, happiness, happy, health, heart, hero,

Princesses

Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: football, humor, sports,

Eulogy for a Quarterback's Reputation

We're angry!  What sports fan can blame us?

There hasn't been one loss for Jameis

     But off-the-field ruckus

     Makes sportscasters muck us

Once famous, now Jameis just shames us






*Written about former FSU quarterback Jameis Winston's run ins with the law.

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: football, humorous,

Big Stud-On-Campus

He was the big stud-on-campus, was Todd,

   Until he was nabbed smokin' somethin' odd!

      Coach booted him from the team.

         Up in smoke went Mommy's dream,

            Of Todd being on a pro-football squad!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved

Poem Details | by Thomas Martin |
Categories: football, funny, humor, husband, men, wife,

Football and Spouse

football
is all

crowd roars
kick soars

a pass
at last

man cave
men crave

cold ones
at once

demand
she panned

but serve
the beer

and chips
for dips

hubby
must pee

walks out
on lout

and shops
till drops

lonely
lady

returns
and learns

the lout
passed out

flat beer
oh dear

the game
now tame

half time
her time

clap hands
to bands

the game
what game!

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, sports, football,

Football Mania Victim's Hysteria

“Woe is me,” when football season closes
Crimson Tide lost in a sea of roses
     Tampa Bucs, Tide, Seminoles
     To “off” my remote just strolls
I’ll use TM for football osmosis

My Coach Bowden-signed football is glass-encased
How do I endure the trauma I’ve faced?
     With my pompoms cast aside
     “Six-month drought!” I cried
“It would hurt less to have my face replaced.”



*Entry for Susan’s “Drama Queen” contest.

Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: football, humorous,

The Hayne Plane

The Hayne plane took America by storm,
The Yanks soon realised he was not the norm,
He dodged through gaps
As he downed his flaps,
The opposition looked quite forlorn.

Poem Details | by Amy Wensinger |
Categories: football, humor, sports,

Cleveland Fan

I know of a football team called the Browns
They are the laughing stock of many towns
While their players get smoked
Their Dawg Pound fans get toked
And each week they earn their nickname of Clowns

But I am their fan and I'll always cheer
Through fumbles and losses I'll never veer
I'll keep my head raised high
I'll love them 'til I die
Because after all, there's always next year

Poem Details | by Andrew Battaglino |
Categories: funny, humor,

Football Fan




There once was a football fan from Philly
     Who was known for being very silly
      During the Eagles Super Bowl win
      He dipped his chicken wings in gin
   And gulped down Bud Light, dilly dilly

Poem Details | by Jimmy Anderson |
Categories: funny

Football My Fav

There once was a sports game called football.
Where the players knew how to trip and fall.
   They were clumsy it's true.
    You see they wore Panther's blue.
And the coach never knew what to call.


*for Royal Trevino's "My favorite sport (Limerick)" contest

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: football, giggle,

DROWNING IN A RIVER OF TEARS

Germany scored seven goals, poor Brazil is awash with tears
Guess they won’t need any rainfall for at least a hundred years

Jan Allison
9th July 2014


Poem Details | by Elton Camp |
Categories: humor,

A Wedding During Football Season

A Wedding During Football Season

By Elton Camp

It has often wisely been said
Football season’s no time to wed

Let’s make one thing quite clear
It’s only four months of the year

So a wedding on the day of a game
Is so incredibly selfish and lame

Your wedding may be significant to you
But football games are important too

Those tickets are incredibly hard to get
So when nobody attends, don’t have a fit

Far down the list your wedding does rate
You need to get your priorities straight

Rather than put your friends on the spot
If you must wed then, use the parking lot

During halftime, the ceremony can be done
A tailgate reception is elegant and fun

Poem Details | by STANLEY Harris |
Categories: celebrity, crazy, football, goodbye, hilarious, surreal,

Richer than rich

Richer than rich!
By Stanley Russell Harris
The new mad Author
& A Poetry Soup honourably mentioned poet

Has football gone completely mad!
A sport of all now to be had!
Boys and girls play it today.
I wonder, is it for the pay?

Talk is now, if one does go.
To China, that’s overseas, you know.
If here you have made your name.
There you would be one of fame.

I mean a million pounds every week!
No doubt one will work, so to speak.
But kicking an air filled ball.
Ain’t worth one million pounds at all!

Still, if I was offered a payment so.
Off I would blinking go.
I’d write a verse every day!
Rest of the time I’d count me pay.

lol (The new mad Author)

Poem Details | by Julie Grenness |
Categories: drink, football, fun, funny, happy, men, universe,

PARADIGM SHIFT

PARADIGM SHIFT.

Here is my version of a paradigm shift,
Socratic questions if you get my drift!
Why did God make the Universe elliptical?
To make an Aussie football, not spherical!
Why did God make football? See here,
To make men miserable, my dears!
Why did God make beer?
To make men happy, my dears!
So, some intelligent chappies here,
Taking beer to the football, no fears,
Now they're miserable and happy dears!

Poem Details | by Gregory R Barden |
Categories: celebrity, football, humorous, sports, word play,

The GOAT


In the summer, some fans climb the walls

For a game that's been played many falls

     And a player named Brady

     Many folks found as shady

For some shifts in the size of his balls ...



An inspection made by Le Gendarme

Thus concluded, no cause for alarm

     'Twasn't balls, frankly stated

     Haters hopes were deflated

For the sake ... of his glorious arm!




~ 1st Place ~  in the "Celebrity Limerick" Poetry Contest, Tania Kitchin, Judge & Sponsor.


Poem Details | by T Wignesan |
Categories: england, football, humor, military, scary,

Limerick crochetes: Once Warrior Fifteen from down under

Limerick crochetés: Once Warrior Fifteen from down under

Once Warrior Fifteen from down under
Trained so hard Hakka to outclap thunder
	Scared s..t off rivals
	To reach the Finals
At Twitch-in-Ham where Prince roared like Pauper

Anthems sweet lulled the cheery spectator
World hushed to watch Black Hakka Warrior
	Earth shook hearts thumped shrieked gulls
	Petrified spell-bound rivals
Warrior lungs burst Cup won by neither

Big-money football magnates cheered together
At last World will look up to footballer
	American rivals
	Or Pelé-fan Bra-zil’s
Hakka now sole weapon of US soldier

© T. Wignesan – Paris,  2015

Poem Details | by Julie Grenness |
Categories: addiction, depression, feelings, football, humorous,

PFS

Why do men sit there sulking alone?
Is it worse than Premenstrual Syndrome?
If PFS worse for men?
Indeed, by PFS. what is meant?
Why, it's Post Football Syndrome!!
Don't say it's only a game, Oh no!
Round here, that's blasphemy,
Or, let's say, utter heresy,
SHHHH, let's tiptoe away.....
Dodging his tantrums today....
Find something else to do,
How does PFS affect you?

Why do men sit sulking alone?
Easy, it's Post Football Syndrome....
SSHHHH......

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: car, drink, football, humorous,

ROONEY YOU LOONEY

A player whose name rhymes with Clooney Got drunk and then drove - what a loony Spent the night locked in jail When released he looked pale The outlook for him may be gloomy He’ll get whacked with an enormous fine But his club won't force him to resign It would make much more sense losing his road licence and he stops drinking lager and wine! Yesterday UK footballer Wayne Rooney got stopped for drink driving 09-02-17

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: football, humorous, sports,

BAD LOSER FOOTLES

HE MISSES THE PENALTY Acts cool - Looks fool It's wide Off side! He moans Then groans Blues score Fans roar Last place Sour face 03~19~17

Poem Details | by Karen Edwards-Gregory |
Categories: adventure, anxiety, aubade, happy, hilarious,

FOOTBALL MANIA 2018

World Cup - 2018
Football season
Football fever
Glued to the television

Moments of anxiety
Nail biting
Edge chair sitting
Cussing the players, the referee
Despair, heart wrenching, disappointment

Then

Screaming, shouting... G O A LLLL!!!
Pandemonium, jumping, dancing, 
Pans knocking, horns blowing
Hilarious with joy

My team won

Ouch!

Silence
Sad face, tears, disbelief, anger, mixed emotions

My team lost

Football season
Football fever

Poem Details | by Panagiota Romios |
Categories: car, football, humor,

FELINE FOOTBALL HAIKU



    Feline Football- English Haiku

    Cat on all fours crouched.
    Grape football hit with 
    swift paw.
    Punt, calico wins!

    October 8, 2019

    English Haiku
    5 syllables-line 1
    7 syllables-line 2
    5 syllables-line 3

Poem Details | by Lu Loo |
Categories: football, humorous,

Brady and His FootBALLS


Have you ever heard of that famous Tom Brady?
His deflated balls can’t even chase off the ladies.  
But he’s a legend that football has seemly created, 
so I named my puppy Brady...but his balls not deflated. 


Celebrity or Famous Person Clerihew Poetry Contest
Tania Kitchin
March 26, 2019
 

Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: celebration, football, funny, humor,

Oh Dear

oh dear what can the matter be
come now and let's try and see

was it the patriots loss
or eagles touchdowns toss

this time was glad to see all stand
singing  our anthem and  holding hands


2/6/18 

for oh dear what can the matter be contest 
gl all


Poem Details | by Gershon Wolf |
Categories: drug, football, humor, satire,

They Dope Players, Don't They

How will footballers huddle
  keeping six feet apart
Are they gonna tackle
  by throwing darts

Wearing face masks under
  helmets is a total joke ~
Let the players bring the dope
  and give the referees a toke

Poem Details | by Julie Grenness |
Categories: football, health, hilarious,

FAT FOR FOOTBALL

Yes, nostalgia does exist,
I reminisce on slimmer hips,
As I look at us today,
All I really want to say,
Is, we got fat for football, eh!