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Funny Poems About For Her or For Her Funny Poems

Humorous and funny For Her poems and/or funny poems about For Her. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious For Her funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other For Her Poems.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: for her, humorous,

ANDREA DIETRICH HAS FINALLY COME OUT OF THE CLOSET

She went into the closet one day
But what a high price she did pay
 
Her hubby he wanted a cuddle
But this act soon burst their bubble
 
The door of the closet shut fast
His ardour was a thing of the past
 
Their claustrophobia was getting worse
So Andrea checked in her old purse
 
She found an old credit card
Joe picked the lock, which was hard
 
After 20 minutes they were free
The relief on their face plain to see
 
Take heed - next time you are after a ‘screw’
Make sure the door doesn’t close on you!

Written after reading her blog and posted with permission from Andrea Dietrich

20th February 2015


Poem Details | by John Henry Galas |
Categories: beauty, body, cute love, for her, funny, i love you, princess,

You Are Beautiful

I don't care if you are inaccurate.
I don't care if you're a tomboy.
I don't care if you're an oval or a circle.
I don't care where you come from or what you were.
I don't even care if you have a coconut cream pie-in-the-face.
You are good.
You are perfect.
You are a princess.
And I will always love you.
Like you should love yourself.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: car, for her, humorous,

SPEEDY GONZALEZ - FOR ANDREA

Andrea was late - drove at the speed of light Traffic cops chased her - she got such a fright The cop got out his book Gave her a stern look She’s off to traffic school so she now gets it right Posted with full permission of Andrea (speedy) Dietrich 2nd April 2015

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: for her, humorous, nature,

FARTING COWS - A TAXING TIME FOR FARMERS - FOR ANNE LISE

When a Norwegian cow passes gas They want to tax the gas from its ‘***’ A cow passes 4 tonnes of methane each year Just imagine the stink from its rear!!!! Thanks for the inspiration Anne Lise *** Jan Allison 31st March 2016

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: fantasy, for her, fun, humorous, poetry, , cute,

ANY POEM FOR PD

Oh PD Linda’s a wily sly fox She wants us to think outside the box But I should be in bed Rest my poor aching head I have joined the school of hard knocks I can’t think of a pesky line to write For Linda’s entertainment and delight But my muse has now flown My poor brain's turned to stone Will someone help me with my plight? Oh what on earth am I going to do - I wish that we had a new local zoo I’d see a cute unicorn That was recently born Linda - I’ll think of a poem for you! Any poem #38 sponsored by PD 03~31~16

Poem Details | by Xuefeng Pan |
Categories: desire, first love, for her, friendship, friendship love, funny love, meaningful,

I am vaporizing in your eyes

I am vaporizing in your eyes slowly 
Noiselessly, clearly and helplessly
Am I willing to be absorbed as steam?
No! my feeling is no but wordlessly

I am vaporizing in your eyes helplessly
As immediate as I saw you saw me
You turned  me into steam  softly

What should I do immediately?
Seeping into your soul completely?
Or hiding into cloud urgently?

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: food, for her, humorous,

SHE MASTICATES THREE TIMES A DAY

Sweet Caren’s an ace masticator and opens her mouth like a gator Breakfast dinner and tea She will chew thoroughly Her husband just acts as her waiter! Inspired by this poem written by Caren Krutsinger www.poetrysoup.com/poem/i_masticate_a_lot_1050599 Posted with full permission of Caren 8/11/18

Poem Details | by Smail Poems |
Categories: age, angel, baseball, beauty, butterfly, caregiving, celebration, character, child, father daughter, feelings, film, fishing, flower, football, children, for her, friend, fun, funny, gender, girl, girlfriend, giving, graduation, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, growing up, growth, hair, happiness, happy, health, heart, hero,

Princesses

Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!

Poem Details | by A.O. Taner |
Categories: beautiful, change, cheer up, confidence, cool, courage, cute love, deep, destiny, emotions, environment, fantasy, fear, feelings, first love, for her, funny love, happiness, happy, how i feel, humanity, hyperbole, i am, i love you, inspiration, journey, joy, life, lost love, love, love hurts, miss you, missing, missing you, ocean, paradise, philosophy, pride, romance, romantic, senses, smile, spring, sunshine, travel, uplifting, wind,

Rainbow

imagine the rainbow being
the dark tunnel 
you've been stuck in for years

the lighthouse on the horizon,
the beam 
that gets brighter as it nears

get soaked in the rain,
feel the sun in your heart,
let go of all your fears. 

Poem Details | by brittney lopez |
Categories: absence, age, angel, april, baptism, beautiful, beauty, bible, birth, blue, boat, body, books, boyfriend, bridal shower, flower, for her, forgiveness, freedom, funny, games, garden, girlfriend, goodbye, graduation, poetry, voice, wisdom, women, words, writing, youth,

Skin

You send bolts through my skin 
something I was never to 
accomplish with you, when I 
saw you it's like my heart sank 
to my stomach and I was in 
shock my body still my body 
heavy felt like when I moved I 
was about to fall to my knees 
you make me want to get 
inside my brain pick you up and 
take you out pick you one by 
one like a flower because I do 
love you and love you not.

Poem Details | by Peter Lewis Holmes |
Categories: emotions, for her, gender, humor, woman,

A Woman

A woman is fire, love, adventure;
A cigar is only a smoke.

Poem Details | by Edwin Hofert |
Categories: fishing, for her, funny, romance,

Tired Feet

Are your feet tired? You've been running through my mind all night.

Poem Details | by TAMMY REAMS |
Categories: cute love, for her, for him, funny love, humorous, marriage, smile,

It's Time for a Funny

Hello Honey, are you feeling sunny
or another day of crummy?

Are you going to be grumpy
because your a little lumpy?

Your still my little hunky
because your always spunky.

I love you my sweet Honey
because your never a dummy!

For my sweet hubby     T Reams

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: appreciation, for her, funny, humor, life, sexy, work,

Advice Adviser

I'm retired but do I still have a life Yes, sexual adviser I am to my wife But if I say try this It'll be totally bliss If I desire I'll ask for your advice . Challenged to write on the back of a Joke!

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: beauty, for her, for him, humor, love, people, sexy,

When She

That look in her Scotsman's eyes When his darling opened her thighs Such a welcoming sight He entered his night As loving groans mellowed to sighs .

Poem Details | by Sunshine Smile |
Categories: for her, for him, funny,

- Men - Cars - Women -


  If you see
   a man opens
     the car door 
       for a woman ....
         He certainly has
           a brand new car ...
            or a very young
             and beautiful mistress
               His pride ...
                a conquest ... 
                  the gleaming varnish
                    reminds him of
                     sensual red woman lips
                      Excite shining
                       in his eyes - 
                        you will always
                          be his number two




13.01.2014
A-L Andresen :))

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: age, body, for her, humorous,

SHE'S FEELING HOT HOT HOT

Sue’s bedclothes are soaking wet She lies in a pool of hot sweat Now what could be the cause … Is it the menopause? Her body won’t let her forget! Sue's face gets bright red and flushed She pretends it’s because she’s rushed Her body is changing She knows she is ageing - But this subject mustn’t be discussed! Written for a friend who is having these symptoms - Sue is not her real name! 5th October 2016

Poem Details | by Jerica Sanchez |
Categories: boyfriend, care, dedication, devotion, faith, first love, for her, for him, gender, girlfriend, happiness, happy, heart, heaven, home, house, how i feel, humor, husband, i love you, imagination, inspiration, inspirational, kiss, longing, love, marriage, miss you, missing, poems, poetry, romance, romantic, together, words,

FOREVERMORE

When I hear your name
My heart beats faster than usual
It's not that I am ashame
But It's just your name is too special..

Can't control the feelings
When I am with you
Can't stop smiling
When you hold me like you do

When you hug me then
I feel like I'm in heaven
You are a blessing from above
And you are the reason why I loved

I'll promise to love you FOREVERMORE..
And I will cherish you until the end of my borrowed life
And I will keep our precious memories as long as
we see each other in our next life..

Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: for her, friendship, funny, joy, life, self, technology,

Dear OLD BOYS -

Dear OLD BOYS -

I wanted to make smart boy toys
but instead made several smart joy toys
and tried them out 
in different colors and sizes

for me and my friends
electrified them
and gave them a brain
they can also be warmed up in a warm box
or cooled in an ice cold box 

kept one for myself
and gave some to my girlfriends 

And now
we don’t need old boys 
no more 
to find joy or jobs
or the meaning of life
since we now have and self control
THE SMART OLD BOY JOY TOY 

called mine iTOYBOY for year-round iJOY and iJOBS
still COMES in different colors and sizes
A MERRY XMAS AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY
ALL IN ONE!
Lovvvvvve Joy

Poem Details | by Yort Watson |
Categories: feelings, for her, funny, kiss, lust, work,

Office Romance

I can tell you want to talk, but don’t know what to say
I better think of something quick, before you go away
I wonder if you think about me, when I’m out of sight
I think about you all the time and can’t get sleep at night
I want to kiss you as you stand there looking at the floor
I want to draw my office shades and have you ask for more
I could be wrong that you like me, a fate much worse than death
So I’ll just talk about the weather, until I’m out of breath

Poem Details | by Weeping Willow |
Categories: allusion, crush, flower, for her, giving, humorous,

Flower power

                     
                @   @   @
             @      W      @
            @  h    o    u  @
              @      y      @
                 @  @  @
                     
                       d
                         o
                          n'        i 
                            t    n    c
                             g     e 
                               i 
                                v
                                  e
                       m e   f l o w e r s ?



Poem Details | by Wilfred Aniagyei |
Categories: birthday, emotions, for her, friendship, funny love,

To Her

,
In no fewer words can I explain the aura of lithe this lady contain from witty banter to affectionate touch her gracious presence only missing a blush True, it's been a while since we were ourselves but at least it gave me time to reflect on you in anxious times when you calmed our nerves and the nightly chats, those I treasure too Though it seems I tender not a hearty soul and times I keep much more than I show within these words I wish you will find how highly a friend I esteem you in mind Till I find others so true all my nights shall be dreams of you
, --------------- Contest: Favorite Love Poem Sponsor: Nayda Ivette Negron

Poem Details | by Jaquay Atkins |
Categories: addiction, anniversary, anxiety, art, baby, beautiful, beauty, blessing, boyfriend, class, confidence, conflict, desire, destiny, devotion, education, environment, faith, fantasy, fate, feelings, for her, fun, funny love, future, giggle, girlfriend, happiness, heart, heaven, life, light, loneliness, lonely, lost, lust, magic, strength, stress, sweet love, symbolism,

I Love You

Often, I have uttered these words to myself
Your feminity has entranced my manhood
My vision is focused on your subject matter 
A quick study of a woman's psychology 
I feel you with my mind, and touch you with my eyes
Senses are heightened in your very presence 
Soon, I will utter the ultimate words of encouragement 
Constant admiration for your hidden strengths 
Instant chemistry between us has changed our biology 
Soon, I will hold you tight and recite the following;
Baby, I love you

Poem Details | by harry horsman |
Categories: for her, for him, funny,

Harry And Vienna's Couplets

“He glides into my parlour with his shades a tad too low
Saying can you clip my moustache, I like whisk ‘n’ show.
So I take out my old blade and nip and oops I think I missed
Now he’s suing me for having nicked his upper lip, he’s pissed.”

“She says I tried to kiss her in the most sensual way
Full of Scotch whisky drunk just because I wouldn’t pay.
I saw the old blade heading for my throat thinking a joke
But this old queen pissed her off because I thought her a bloke.”

© Harry J Horsman & Mystic Rose

Poem Details | by Susan Dwinchick |
Categories: funny, life, pets, i love you, , cute,

Vicky My Cat (acrostic poem for her) 4-6-06

                                                    Vicky my cat

                                                    I love you are loving and

                                                   Caring when you know when I need you

                                                    Kind, silly, cute, and

                                                    You are my little angel