Humorous and funny For Her poems and/or funny poems about For Her. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious For Her funny poems!
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
for her, humorous,
Andrea Dietrich Has Finally Come Out of the Closet
She went into the closet one day
But what a high price she did pay
Her hubby he wanted a cuddle
But this act soon burst their bubble
The door of the closet shut fast
His ardour was a thing of the past
Their claustrophobia was getting worse
So Andrea checked in her old purse
She found an old credit card
Joe picked the lock, which was hard
After 20 minutes they were free
The relief on their face plain to see
Take heed - next time you are after a ‘screw’
Make sure the door doesn’t close on you!
Written after reading her blog and posted with permission from Andrea Dietrich
20th February 2015
Written by
John Henry Galas
Categories:
beauty, body, cute love, for her, funny, i love you
You Are Beautiful
I don't care if you are inaccurate.
I don't care if you're a tomboy.
I don't care if you're an oval or a circle.
I don't care where you come from or what you were.
I don't even care if you have a coconut cream pie-in-the-face.
You are good.
You are perfect.
You are a princess.
And I will always love you.
Like you should love yourself.
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
for her, humorous, nature,
Farting Cows - a Taxing Time For Farmers - For Anne Lise
When a Norwegian cow passes gas
They want to tax the gas from its ‘***’
A cow passes 4 tonnes of methane each year
Just imagine the stink from its rear!!!!
Thanks for the inspiration Anne Lise ***
Jan Allison
31st March 2016
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
car, for her, humorous,
Speedy Gonzalez - For Andrea
Andrea was late - drove at the speed of light
Traffic cops chased her - she got such a fright
The cop got out his book
Gave her a stern look
She’s off to traffic school so she now gets it right
Posted with full permission of Andrea (speedy) Dietrich
2nd April 2015
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
fantasy, for her, fun, humorous, poetry,
Any Poem For Pd
Oh PD Linda’s a wily sly fox
She wants us to think outside the box
But I should be in bed
Rest my poor aching head
I have joined the school of hard knocks
I can’t think of a pesky line to write
For Linda’s entertainment and delight
But my muse has now flown
My poor brain's turned to stone
Will someone help me with my plight?
Oh what on earth am I going to do -
I wish that we had a new local zoo
I’d see a cute unicorn
That was recently born
Linda - I’ll think of a poem for you!
Any poem #38 sponsored by PD
03~31~16
Written by
Xuefeng Pan
Categories:
desire, first love, for her, friendship, friendship love, funny love
I Am Vaporizing In Your Eyes
I am vaporizing in your eyes slowly
Noiselessly, clearly, and helplessly
Am I willing to be absorbed as steam?
No! my feeling is no but wordlessly
I am vaporizing in your eyes helplessly
As immediate as I saw you saw me
You turned me into steam softly
What should I do immediately?
Seeping into your soul completely?
Or hiding into the cloud urgently?
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
food, for her, humorous,
She Masticates Three Times a Day
Sweet Caren’s an ace masticator
and opens her mouth like a gator
Breakfast dinner and tea
She will chew thoroughly
Her husband just acts as her waiter!
Inspired by this poem written by Caren Krutsinger
www.poetrysoup.com/poem/i_masticate_a_lot_1050599
Posted with full permission of Caren
8/11/18
Written by
Edwin Hofert
Categories:
fishing, for her, funny, romance,
Tired Feet
Are your feet tired? You've been running through my mind all night.
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
appreciation, for her, funny, humor, life, sexy
Advice Adviser
I'm retired but do I still have a life
Yes, sexual adviser I am to my wife
But if I say try this
It'll be totally bliss
If I desire I'll ask for your advice
.
Challenged to write on the back of a Joke!
Written by
Peter Lewis Holmes
Categories:
emotions, for her, gender, humor, woman,
A Woman
A woman is fire, love, adventure;
A cigar is only a smoke.
Written by
Tammy Reams
Categories:
cute love, for her, for him, funny love, humorous, marriage
It's Time For a Funny
Hello Honey, are you feeling sunny
or another day of crummy?
Are you going to be grumpy
because your a little lumpy?
Your still my little hunky
because your always spunky.
I love you my sweet Honey
because your never a dummy!
For my sweet hubby T Reams
Written by
Anne-Lise Andresen
Categories:
for her, for him, funny,
- Men - Cars - Women -
If you see
a man opens
the car door
for a woman ....
He certainly has
a brand new car ...
or a very young
and beautiful mistress
His pride ...
a conquest ...
the gleaming varnish
reminds him of
sensual red woman lips
Excite shining
in his eyes -
you will always
be his number two
13.01.2014
A-L Andresen :))
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
age, body, for her, humorous,
She's Feeling Hot Hot Hot
Sue’s bedclothes are soaking wet
She lies in a pool of hot sweat
Now what could be the cause …
Is it the menopause?
Her body won’t let her forget!
Sue's face gets bright red and flushed
She pretends it’s because she’s rushed
Her body is changing
She knows she is ageing -
But this subject mustn’t be discussed!
Written for a friend who is having these symptoms - Sue is not her real name!
5th October 2016
Written by
Yort Watson
Categories:
feelings, for her, funny, kiss, lust, work
Office Romance
I can tell you want to talk, but don’t know what to say
I better think of something quick, before you go away
I wonder if you think about me, when I’m out of sight
I think about you all the time and can’t get sleep at night
I want to kiss you as you stand there looking at the floor
I want to draw my office shades and have you ask for more
I could be wrong that you like me, a fate much worse than death
So I’ll just talk about the weather, until I’m out of breath
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
beauty, for her, for him, humor, love, people
When She
That look in her Scotsman's eyes
When his darling opened her thighs
Such a welcoming sight
He entered his night
As loving groans mellowed to sighs
.
Written by
Wilfred Aniagyei
Categories:
birthday, emotions, for her, friendship, funny love,
To Her
,
In no fewer words can I explain
the aura of lithe this lady contain
from witty banter to affectionate touch
her gracious presence only missing a blush
True, it's been a while since we were ourselves
but at least it gave me time to reflect on you
in anxious times when you calmed our nerves
and the nightly chats, those I treasure too
Though it seems I tender not a hearty soul
and times I keep much more than I show
within these words I wish you will find
how highly a friend I esteem you in mind
Till I find others so true
all my nights shall be dreams of you ,
Written by
Harry Horsman
Categories:
for her, for him, funny,
Harry and Vienna's Couplets
“He glides into my parlour with his shades a tad too low
Saying can you clip my moustache, I like whisk ‘n’ show.
So I take out my old blade and nip and oops I think I missed
Now he’s suing me for having nicked his upper lip, he’s pissed.”
“She says I tried to kiss her in the most sensual way
Full of Scotch whisky drunk just because I wouldn’t pay.
I saw the old blade heading for my throat thinking a joke
But this old queen pissed her off because I thought her a bloke.”
© Harry J Horsman & Mystic Rose
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
body, for her, for him, hair, humorous, mother son
For Phillip and Diane Garcia - Ditch the Beard
Phil’s caveman look is very weird
He really should shave off his beard
His mother is right
He looks a strange sight
The Neanderthal look’s to be feared!
Since December Phil’s been hirsute
He needs to give his beard a boot
He’ll cut it off in the sink
But his mum won’t cause a stink
Cos without it he looks real cute!
Poem Posted with Kind permission of Phillip Garcia
To understand the poem please read my comments on Phillip's poem
https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/3443_or_t_minus_44_880105
02~26~17
Written by
Clifford Villalon
Categories:
cute love, feelings, for her, for him, funny love, love
Honeymoon
Hearts on fire
Over heads that sire
New couple on the double
Every action becomes triple
Yearning for each other's hand
Maneuvering who has a better hand
On truth or consequence
Or Games of the General
No arbiter is allowed... just being real and literal!
Written by
Weeping Willow
Categories:
allusion, crush, flower, for her, giving, humorous
Flower Power
@ @ @
@ W @
@ h o u @
@ y @
@ @ @
d
o
n' i
t n c
g e
i
v
e
m e f l o w e r s ?
Written by
Rudolph Rinaldi
Categories:
for her, friendship, funny, joy, life, self
Dear Old Boys -
Dear OLD BOYS -
I wanted to make smart boy toys
but instead made several smart joy toys
and tried them out
in different colors and sizes
for me and my friends
electrified them
and gave them a brain
they can also be warmed up in a warm box
or cooled in an ice cold box
kept one for myself
and gave some to my girlfriends
And now
we don’t need old boys
no more
to find joy or jobs
or the meaning of life
since we now have and self control
THE SMART OLD BOY JOY TOY
called mine iTOYBOY for year-round iJOY and iJOBS
still COMES in different colors and sizes
A MERRY XMAS AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY
ALL IN ONE!
Lovvvvvve Joy
Written by
Jan Allison
Categories:
flower, for her, humorous, valentines day,
Plastic Flowers For My Sweet Pd
If I gave you them - you’d probably kill me.... but you could re-use them on my grave!
To PD
From JA
Contest: Melt my heart with just one line
Sponsor PD
Written on 11th Feb 2016
Written by
Susan Dwinchick
Categories:
funny, life, pets, i love you, , cute
Vicky My Cat (Acrostic Poem For Her) 4-6-06
Vicky my cat
I love you are loving and
Caring when you know when I need you
Kind, silly, cute, and
You are my little angel
Written by
Emenaha Godwin Holiday
Categories:
autumn, birthday, february, for her, humor, innocence
Happy Birthday Rachael
Through the wee hours of the dawn
On a cold autumn night of
February. The harmattan harsh
And dry breeze blowing
I overhear the leaves weepy-scratchy
Noise. Still but almost conscious,
Generously, her angelic face
Came, flashing, over my memory
And those valentine that passed,
One whom cannot be forgotten.
Smiles as tender, Rachael,
Emenaha says "all the best".
Written by
Jeriel Del Rosario
Categories:
beautiful, for her, funny love, girl, girlfriend, happy
Should I
should i stop loving you,
because of your thick eyebrows?
or should i stop loving you,
because of your tiny nose?
should i stop loving you,
because of you broad waist?
or should i stop loving you,
because of your ugly face?
should i stop loving you,
because of your nasty handwriting?
or should i stop loving you,
because at bed you're snoring?
should i stop loving you,
because of your weird habits?
or should i stop loving you,
because of your misaligned teeth
should i stop loving you,
because they tell me to do so?
or should i start ignoring this,
because I LOVE YOU
:)
An entry in "A Girls Night Out" contest,
1st Place (06-03-14)
Sponsored by: Darren Watson