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Funny Poems About Fruit or Fruit Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Fruit poems and/or funny poems about Fruit. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Fruit funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Fruit Poems.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

JUICY FRUIT

A busty young lady from Peel Her boobies she couldn't conceal They were such a huge size That she won a first prize For the fruit men most wanted to feel 7th April 2015 I made a bit of a boob on the 2nd line - thanks Paul Callus for your advice


Poem Details | by Doreen Ambrose |
Categories: funny, me, me,

Crows Only Pick At The Best Fruit

(A Co-worker)

Stop hatin' on me you ole crow,
Why don't you give me what you owe-
Me and that is respect you old coot,
Don't you know that I know that crows
Only pick at the best fruit,
It's as if you can see my future better than I can,
That is why you are acting like a twisted fan,
All out of control and down right vindictive,
Usually that kind of behavior is indicative,
Of someone who is jealous hearted and bitter,
Misery loves company and baby sitters,
I wish you would quit slandering my name,
You have had your fifteen minutes of fame,
Stop hatin' on me you ole coot,
Don't you know that I know that crows 
Only pick at the best fruit. 


Poem Details | by Fritz Purdum |
Categories: fruit, fun, humorous, silly,

Ode to Ketchup

For hamburgers hotdogs and french fried potatoes
add the sweet savory sauce a gift from tomatoes
Ketchup Ketchup pour it thick
for bland foods it does the trick

Scramble eggs just to plain
Ketchup adds that sweet tang
Steak a little too dry
that's when ketchup applies
Try adding ketchup in your sauce
topping meatloaf it is boss
Beautifully red rich and thick
Ketchup is foods favorite condiment

For finger foods a tasty dip
so yummy you smack your lips
Ketchup is a sweet sensation
taste buds crave with anticipation
That magic that ketchup brings
is that flavorful wonderful zing



Poem Details | by David Fisher |
Categories: fruit, funny, math,

Gross Fruits

We planted a gross of strange, cube shaped fruits
Below the soil, then waited for shoots
When summer was through
Only twelve grew
Which is what you get when you plant, square roots


Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: fruit, funny, humor, humorous, myth, nature,

Am I Nuts

Am I Nuts?

Chestnuts don’t grow on chests
Walnuts don’t grow on walls
Peanuts don’t come from peas
Cashews come from the fruit on trees
Pecans don’t come from peacock feathers

Pistachios fall from Pinocchio’s nose
Hazelnuts relax in the hazy sun
Macadamias are MacDonald’s big Mac nuts
Almonds are singing nuts, called the Almond Brothers
Acorns come from the unicorns tusk

Nuts are nature’s ways of making sure
We all have a little fun
The biggest nut there ever was
Surely you can see
Is the Nutty Arthur Vaso

Whom wrote these verses three

Poem Details | by David Fisher |
Categories: fruit, funny,

Gal From Jebruit

There once was a gal from Jebruit
Whom I heard knew how to mend fruit
I gave her a lemon
That she started hemmin’
But got it back in a lime suit

Poem Details | by Brenda McGrath |
Categories: fruit, funny, tree,

My Little Lemon Tree

I check my little lemon tree every day with delight,
The new baby lemons are just growing out of sight.
The lemon tree lives on my patio and loves the sun,
And picking those giant lemons is such fun!

The last one picked was like a grapefruit, huge in size,
And the wonderful taste it did not compromise.
The luscious lemon went on facebook for my friends eyes,
Then it had a date with a pie, and met its demise.


Poem Details | by Kudzai Mhangwa |
Categories: food, fruit, fun, funny,

Ode To A Lemon

Zesty droplets on my tongue  
Setting a blaze of many flavours
Lively explosions on in my mouth

Poem Details | by Doris Culverhouse |
Categories: funny, inspirational

Fruit of the Tongue

Words
Spoken
From the heart
Harshness melted
Praise

Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: fruit, funny,

The Lemon

I wandered like a lemon,
Over hill and dale,
My skin was looking yellow,
My complexion rather pale.

I rolled on down a ridge,
Just trying to get a grip,
Taking in what nature offered, 
Alas, it was giving me the pip.

I started feeling seedy,
I'd been exercising for an hour,
No matter what I seemed to do
My mood remained quite sour.

Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: food, fruit, humorous, people, spoken word, violence, words,

A peach and a speech

The bigger/the richer/the faster the peach, 
the better the chance to catch up someone's speech.

Volodymyr Knyr
2014

Poem Details | by Theresa CW |
Categories: fun, humor,

Fruit Loops

Fruit Loops


There’s a wild woman who lives in Kamloops
She wants to have excessive wild sex groups
Folks say she doesn’t knows
She looks might dirty gross
She’s not even erotic like fruit loops.

Written: 6/11/15
Theresa Marie

Poem Details | by Raj Napal |
Categories: food, fruit, health, humorous, silly, symbolism, tribute,

Apple

Round with a crispy white core. 
Crunch it, taste its juicy play. 
Teeth strong and healthy, its lore. 
Apples will keep docs away. 

Play with it, throw ball, catch it. 
Use as a target to train. 
It is hard, good throw and hit. 
Swollen eye, it can give pain. 

Apple cider is best sweet. 
Cider better when it’s brewed. 
Cider moment, sways falls prat. 
Spirit juices got to his head. 

Apple crumble, sweet delight. 
Custard adorns, rich flavor. 
Moms use it to make nice treats. 
Kids gobble It in wonder. 

Apples good like wine and grape. 
Tasty like strawberry. 
Can cause pain like banana. 
It was a forbidden fruit! 

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: funny

Fruit Of The Vine

He loved fruit of the vine when out to dine

     It made his head whirl with feeling divine

          But he got behind the wheel

              Of his old automobile

                    Judge said jail time and hundred dollar fine

Placed No. 7 in Francine Robert's "Bottle of Wine, (fruit of the vine, when...)"  Contest
June 2011

Poem Details | by Reynaldo Mast |
Categories: beautiful, beauty, creation, drink, fruit, humor, humorous, wine,

Grape Wine Drink

Glittering Purple 
So pretty it is so sweet
Fruit of history

Glittering Purple
So pretty it is so sweet
Taste of memory

Glittering Purple
So pretty it is so sweet
Drink from grape it wines

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: fruit, humorous, wisdom,

WISDOM

a wise man will know finding a worm in a pear… better than half worm Contest:- Syllables of Wisdom Sponsor:- Silent One 10th January 2016

Poem Details | by BL DEVNATH |
Categories: fruit, funny,

POTATO



                                               mass of flesh
                                         covered by grey skin
                                             with small eyes 

                                             kitchen queen
                                              of vegetables
                                          house wife's choice

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: anger, dog, humorous,

STRANGE FRUIT

A really odd thing caught my eye They hang on a branch way up high Black bags in the trees What strange ‘fruit’ are these I wouldn’t want poop in my pie! Why do some dog owners tie their dog poop bags on branches rather than put them in a bin? 31st January 2017

Poem Details | by Barry Stebbings |
Categories: dance, fruit, humor,

You Can Never Dance A Tango With A Mango

     You Can Never Dance A Tango With A Mango


     You can never dance a Tango With a Mango

     And the Damson is a drama in the Jive.

     And the Grapefruit you can bet

     Has not done the Rhumba yet

     And that a Kumquat does the Foxtrot

     Is entirely false.

     The Samba when in season can be entirely pleasin’

     But the Mango cannot Tango or dance the Waltz.


    10/19/17

    For 'Daft' contest by Kevin Shaw

Poem Details | by Shaniki Smith |
Categories: food, fruit, health, humor, missing, poems, sad,

Dear Fruit Fly

 
Dear Fruit Fly
 
I don't like you
I can't stand you
Everywhere I go
You seem to be there
Staring me in my face
waiting for me to turn my back
so you can steal the food from off my plate
but today you really strike a nerve when you snatch my Eggo
That was my blueberry Eggo waffles
You and your compadres have to go
I had a enough
 so here is a bus ticket
find somebody else home you can invade
Please fruit fly go away
You have over stayed your welcome

Poem Details | by Mary Oliver Rotman |
Categories: fruit, humorous, yellow,

Randomling 6

Bananas an underappreciated fruit sentenced to banananality because yellow is their long suit.

Poem Details | by M. L. Kiser |
Categories: animal, appreciation, candy, food, fruit, fun, funny,

Dragon Eats

Dragons, how they love to eat; What they eat the most are sweets. Candy, baked goods, pudding drinks; Rarely do they ever eat beets. No asparagus carrots or broccoli; They can be picky about meat. No carrots, beans or salad greens; Just the pleasant sugary treats. The darnedest thing about it though; Diabetes they never get. Sweets never seem to stunt their growth; But belly aches make them fret. Occasionally dragons will eat fruits, Because they’re a nectarous substitute.

Poem Details | by Jules Ross |
Categories: desire, fruit, funny love, sensual, boy,

Boysenberry

Boysenberry,
Boysenberry,
Sweet cherry pie,
I want to eat you before I die,

Blackberry,
Raspberry,
what have you done,
you produced an offspring
that is tasty fun.

They say you covet
the ones you see, 
one day the boysenberry
will covet me.

You are perfection personified, 
You are the fruit that keeps me alive,
Boysenberry, boysenberry,
how can it be,
I'd rather eat from your bush
than fruit from a tree…

Poem Details | by mike dailey |
Categories: fish, fruit, howl, humorous,

PACU

PACU
Have you heard about the Pacu
A South American fish
With molars like a human
With which they like to squish
Tree nuts in the water
When they find this tasty dish

But lately local swimmers
While swimming in the buff
Have encountered this same Pacu
With their tree nut looking stuff
And I’m told that once encountered
Once encountered is enough

So if swimming in the river
In just your birthday suit
You’d best avoid the tree line
Where you see its floating fruit
Or you risk the bite of Pacu
You can bet your sweet patoot

Uncle Mike

Poem Details | by BRIAN EATHERTON |
Categories: funny

Favourite Fruit

What's a policeman's favourite fruit?
Banahnahnahnah.