GDPR Cookie Consent by FreePrivacyPolicy
Funny Poems About Funeral or Funeral Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Funeral poems and/or funny poems about Funeral. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Funeral funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Funeral Poems.

Poem Details | by Judith Angell Meyer |
Categories: funny, imagination, song-

His funeral

That he planned his funeral is factual
And being a prankster quite actual
He prerecorded his voice
So when we kneeled on the joist
He said, "Hi there! Don't I look natural."


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: funeral, humor, sad,

FUNERAL FOOTLES

Deceased Released Goodbye I cry Church pew Hurts you My bum Now numb No droppin* The coffin! 4th March 2015 Written before dad’s funeral - I'll take my cushion to sit on lol * not proper footle but I had to add it!

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: funeral, humorous, money, satire,

WHERE THERE'S A WILL THERE'S A RELATIVE

They crawl out of the woodwork Shedding lots of crocodile tears Grieving for an ancient relative They’ve not visited for many years ‘Auntie Annie’ is barely warm But now you see the relations swarm Waiting for the will to be read They rub their hands with glee Hoping they will be left Lots of lovely money ‘Grieving relatives’ is rubbish!! Some are taking the mick …. These mercenary vultures simply make me sick! 28th January 2017

Poem Details | by Thvia Shetley |
Categories: funeral, funny, sports,

A golf limerick

While a man was golfing in Fife
a funeral cortege was arife,

       his head bowed in prayer
       at this somber affair

to pay last respects to his wife!


Poem Details | by JSLambert Mister ROBOTO |
Categories: death, dedication, depression, funeral, funny, inspirational, introspection, life, loss, parody

AMY WINEHOUSE-Should have went to rehab


They tried to make you go to Rehab...
you said...
                NO!
                    NO!!
                       NO!!!
Shoulda' packed your bags ta' Rehab...
you wouldn't 
                 GO!
                     GO!!
                        GO!!!
  
 boo-hoo hot-mess
        Wine-HORSE

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: adventure, angel, beautiful, business, childhood, death, education, fantasy, farewell, freedom, friendship, funeral, funny, growing up, happiness, happy, health, holiday, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, nostalgia, on writing and words, parody, passion, patriotic, peace, people, philosophy, slam, social, song, sorrow, sorry, spiritual, time, woman,

Ding Dong The Wicked Witch is Dead

Globally, miners jubilantly jump for joy
Smiles on the faces of every girl and boy
The grins of a newly opened Xmas toy
Thatcher’s dead.

Trade unionists bounce along the street
Music blaring and the tapping of feet
From nurses to Bobbies still on the beat
Thatcher’s dead.

Street parties announced in the nation
Satan who brought economic inflation
Is deceased, now’s the time for elation
Thatcher’s dead.

Its times like this I’m sad I’m an atheist
And can only shout and wave my fist
And then go to the pub and get pissed
Thatcher’s dead.

Poem Details | by Nick Bagnall |
Categories: funeral, funny

Danger - Musicians

There was an old lady from Ireland 
Who was frightened to death by a brass band
We watched with dismay
As without delay
They buried her corpse in the band stand








Contest : Slapstick Limerick Contest 
5th Place

Poem Details | by Tirzah Conway |
Categories: angst, childhood, confusion, dedication, devotion, faith, family, fear, funeral, funny, hope, imagination, life, mother, nature, on writing and words, parody, people,

Where does the Time go

I feel as though time is slipping away,
And more is gone each passing day…

Poem Details | by Lewis Raynes |
Categories: funeral, funny, perspective,

A brand new funeral home

A brand new funeral home just opened, 
Well that’s what my neighbour said,
He told me “We now have a brand new place, 
Where we can take our dead.”

It’s in the building that used to be, 
A pub for a hundred years,
It was the Old Royal Hotel down town, 
Where we’d all raise our cheers,

But now its function’s completely changed,
Same clients, just a different need,
No longer does it enslave the souls, 
Instead, it sets those souls to free,

The old pub is now a funeral home, 
With closing time now at seven,
Final drinks are now spirits on the house, 
Where closing time sends them to heaven.

Poem Details | by Curtis Moorman |
Categories: funeral, funny,

POETIC JUSTICE

POETIC JUSTICE

There was an old man from Fontaine
Who walked with aid of a cane
One night he was mugged
By a wannabe thug
In the graveyard, the thug was lain


11 April 2018

For the contest sponsored by Viv Wigley

Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: business, death, funeral, funny, home, life, work,

the crowds

the crowds taking the subways 
enter the underground 
below upon waking 
to rise up 
to work 
in the clouds above

only to go back in the evening 
down through the underground 
low upon leaving
to home 
to family
to final rest

in the underground 
or in the clouds above

Poem Details | by TSHEPO MBHELE |
Categories: death, death of a friend, funeral, funny, grave, hilarious, loss,

DEATH ANNOUNCEMENT

DEATH ANNOUNCEMENT:BY TSHEPO MBHELE

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR DEATH ANNOUNCED?
A POOL PARTY WITH A BALL THAT WAS BOUNCED
OR TO GO TO THE BAR
ON YOUR BRAND NEW CAR

WHEN YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO DIE
I WONT EVEN PASS BY
IT DOESN’T REALLY BOTHER ME
BECAUSE WHEN YOU WERE ALIVE I LET YOU BE

YOUR NEW HOME
WILL DEFINETLY NOT BE ROME
OR EVEN A SMALL PALACE
JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE CARELESS

SOME WILL DANCE AND SOME WILL CRY
SOME WILL COME JUST TO SAY GOOD BYE
EVEN IF IT IS A DARE
 I DON’T CARE

Poem Details | by Keith Dovoric |
Categories: age, fear, funeral, funny, hyperbole, irony, motivation,

Prolonged Life

I wanna live to a hundred-and-three
A minor footnote in history
Oh yeah

I wanna live to a hundred-and-six
They’ll bury my bones among the sticks
Oh yeah

I wanna live to a hundred-and-nine
My blood just like fermented wine
Oh yeah

I wanna live to a hundred-and-twelve
Baby I’ll never kill myself
Oh no

I wanna live to a hundred-fifteen
Ride in some futuristic limousine
Oh yeah

I wanna live to a hundred-and-twenty
Food for flowers in the Land of Plenty
Oh yeah

I wanna live to one-twenty-five
All you gotta do is survive
Oh yeah

Poem Details | by Sunlite Wanter |
Categories: funeral, funny,

The Funeral

The Funeral His funeral was today; That elder man of mans; He had done everything The world demands. There was a mixed crowd Of ages and worth; The preacher spoke long; With anecdotes and mirth. Lifeless he lay, taking it all in, Strains of Amazing Grace; Never wore many formal suits; Is that a grin on his face? After all was said and done; His kudos listed ad infinitem; Tears were dropped along the pews, But folks pretty well forgot em. He was president of this; On the board of that; Loved his grandchildren; But after all of that, This beloved soul had written; His own epitaph; His tombstone would read; “He knew how to laugh!”

Poem Details | by hija de la luna |
Categories: bereavement, death, family, funeral, humor,

In a wine bottle

They hate his drinking -
       But they put his ashes in …
A wine bottle urn.


7/21/14

Poem Details | by David Welch |
Categories: celebration, death, fun, funeral, humorous, light, night,

Viking Funeral

Viking, Viking burning bright,
on a pyre in the night,
though the wind howls and bites,
this funeral is out-of-sight!

Through the cold and falling snow,
on the lake your fire glows,
the ships combusts, and now I know
this here is how I want to go.



*-Obviously patterned off William Blake's famous poem 'The Tyger.'

Poem Details | by Nya Johnson |
Categories: black african american, childhood, dedication, funeral, girl, goodbye, growing up, humorous, satire, teen, thank you, tribute, happy, happy,

RIP Curfew

Thank you for being in my life,
to think you were only broken twice,
you taught me how not to be late,
and how to get my timing straight,
my mother made you and loved you too,
she stayed up at night to make sure you show true,
I'm not going to say I'm happy you're gone
but i do rue the day you were spawn 
now that I'm 18, you've done your job, 
I'm happy you will no longer make my heart throb,
with every minute that i am late,
made my life full of hate,
so thank you curfew, and thanks a lot,
now my own schedule will take your spot.

Poem Details | by John Beam |
Categories: allusion, death, funeral, funny, humorous, satire,

Eventually

Post scriptum                                                                                                                                                             Written upon a lawyer's grave                                                                                                                                                      Oh! Now they tell me I must pay

Poem Details | by Doris Culverhouse |
Categories: animals, funeral, funny,

Jealous dog

Henrietta just a pet chicken
Loves attention and holding
torments the jealous dog by tapping on the door
Plays dead like a duck once tooo often
Doggie thinks KFC....yum
Henrietta taking a dirt nap under a pine tree.

tears and sorrow!!

Poem Details | by Wendy M |
Categories: death of a friend, funeral, funny, humor, humorous,

Bye May

Here Lays May
Who was on her way
To a little old bar,
She was hit by a car.

Poem Details | by Richard Lamoureux |
Categories: funeral, funny,

Baby Face Nelson

1908-1934  Not taken soon enough! Not only the good die young.

For Epigram Contest
By: Richard Lamoureux

Poem Details | by Beatrice Boyle |
Categories: death, funeral, funny,

Carved In Stone



Here lies Bea At a hundred and three
In the place she vowed She’d never be
She always swore She’d never die
Till all who bugged her
In the grave would lie
She hung on tight To the very end
No foe was left For flowers to send
Let’s raise a glass And shed a tear
She sure raised hell while she was here!

Copyright©2004 Beatrice Boyle 
(All rights reserved

Poem Details | by Doris Culverhouse |
Categories: funeral, funny, holiday, people, people,

People planters

People planters find it hard to tear 
at the loss of your near and  dear

At two hundred percent profits
Devastation gives them fat pockets

Diggers open up the ground
Where people sprouts can be found....

Sprouts or people dust....it is hard to know!?




Poem Details | by cecil hickman |
Categories: funeral, funny, life, loss, nature, seasons,

Winters Release

One frown is lost
At what cost now
Jack Frost has died

Poem Details | by Sandra Hudson |
Categories: funeral, funny, satire,

Mark Twain's retort of sort

                At odds about the undertakers fees, Mark Twain jeered:
	“There is a system of extortion going on here!” 
	What horrific prices to pay for just a box and hole
	When it's not the body we care about, but the soul! 

This clerihew is derrived from reading Mark Twains views on burying the dead. His only quotation is the second line.  ( Mark Twain and the Carson City Undertaker) - February 1864

Sandra Hudson, 1/18/2012