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Funny Poems About Girlfriend or Girlfriend Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Girlfriend poems and/or funny poems about Girlfriend. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Girlfriend funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Girlfriend Poems.

Poem Details | by JSLambert Mister ROBOTO |
Categories: allegory, fantasy, father, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, hope, husband, imagination, life, love, passion, people, places, romance, social, wife,

Viagra Falls

There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'

but when it got little 
his pills became skittles   
until he O.D.'d on Viagra

© ~JSLambert  2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!


Poem Details | by A.O. Taner |
Categories: august, beach, beautiful, cool, crush, deep, destiny, devotion, fantasy, feelings, first love, fishing, freedom, funny love, future, girlfriend, hope, i love you, i miss you, journey, joy, judgement, lost love, love, love hurts, meaningful, miracle, ocean, people, places, romance, sea, sensual, simple, spiritual, water, women, world,

Hope

Don't rush to wash off the sea salt 
drying on your skin;
the hopes it carries from other oceans,
those remain yet to be seen.

Poem Details | by SKAT A |
Categories: adventure, brother, fantasy, funny, funny love, giggle, girlfriend,

Monkey See

Monkey See~

There once was a monkey named Frank
Who loved to walk the plank
He said too many jokes
Pulled too many hoaxe-s 
Ha! Ha! Ha! Then he got a good spank

*

Who's that monkey in front of me
I dare to hang with you on a tree
Oh! What I do? Will you do?
Together we are like glue
Is that my flea or your flea?

~ Skat ~

Contest~


Poem Details | by Laura Hannan |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, love, parody, passion, teen,

A Brutally Honest Valentine's

My darling enigma, my dove   
You’re the epitome of my love
Your smile shines at me pearly white      
Pale skin shines and glints in the light       
Silken locks, obsidian flow
Eyes just like ice, crystalline glow        
Peals of laughter ring like a bell            
Enchant me; I’m under your spell    
You walk with a musical flow
Tiptoeing with softness through snow

But, alas, you open your mouth
Utter tripe spilling out
If only you’d keep your mouth shut.

(Love from Anonymous) 

Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: beauty, cute love, grave, humor, obituary,

I Found a Girlfriend

Took me the breath of all my life
A soul mate who could consume my heart wither a smile
I found that Gothic girl after dark
A little to late to consummate
I lie in waiting with a dead round smile
Empty eyes and a lot of guile
I found a girlfriend even if late
We lie together
Frigid is our state

Poem Details | by Flippant She-Creature |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, happiness, health, lost love, love, mother, parody, romance, satire, sorry,

Shall I Compare Thee to Your Mother's ****

Shall I compare thee to your mother's ****?
Thou aren’t more lovely, but more flatulent.
Rough winds do shake it; and bring on a farce
And all her clothes hath all too short a rent

Sometime too hot-headed of hell doth burn,
And often is the true nature exposed;
And every foul from fowl; my stomach churns,
By reason, or by nature's raging closed.

But thy infernal diet shall ne’er start
Nor gain possession of which now I grasp;
Nor shall we meet again; let’s stay apart,
When in eternal sounds the voice does rasp,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can cry,
So long lives this, and I bid thee goodbye.

Poem Details | by Tasha Taylor |
Categories: boyfriend, funny love, girlfriend, psychological, relationship,

SCHIZOPHRENIA

"Doctor!
Doctor!
How is he?"

"Quite terrible, Miss.
He will not survive the night,
Probably not even the hour."

"What does he have?
Terminal cancer?
Pneumonia?
Cardiac Arrest?"

"No.
It is worse then all of those.
Even combined."

"Oh no! 
Can I see him?

"I imagine you can, Miss.
But that's the problem.
I'm afraid I can't treat him
Since I can't--"

"Doctor! Please tell me.
I love him. 
He's my boyfriend.
We have no secrets."

"Then you may wanna sit down.
Miss, I am sorry to inform you,
Your boyfriend is ailed with
A severe case of nonexistence."

Poem Details | by Virginia Mitchell |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend

Oh! Dear gawd!

Mom looks through windows
A watched pot will never boil
A daughter's courtship





Contest; "Redneck Psalms, Improve Human Foible"

Sponsored by: John Freeman

Poem Details | by JSLambert Mister ROBOTO |
Categories: angst, confusion, depression, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, introspection, life, love, passion, people, philosophy, romance, social, sorry

Shameful Morning

not sure how she got here 
only know she needs to leave

underneath the stranger 
my arm numb; asleep, 
mouth a desert.
a hundred dead cigarettes dance my tongue dry 

princess of night 
exposed by light. 
get me out of this;
another dreaded morning mess. 

bed broken
along with my will. 
I swore never again; 
the lie is half the thrill.

~JSLambert

Poem Details | by Ph.d Volo Von Wolfenstein |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, lovelove,

Polynonsensicalamorous

I'm polynonsensicalamorous;
For me,
Romance is calamitous,

I woo and charm,
And raise some alarm,
When I try to arouse,
... By flexing my arm!

Some days its almost ridiculous,
Whatever I do, 
It's frivolous!

So I dress to impress,
But I'm always despairing,
When I walk through the door,
I hear: "What are you wearing?"

They told me love was fabulous,
If you want the truth:
It's strenuous!

When I try to hit,
I always miss,
That hug I got,
...Should've been a kiss!

But if all is fair in love and war,
I should keep trying until I score,
And maybe one day I will cease to fuss,
If only I wasn't...
Polynonsensicalamorous.



Poem Details | by Fisayo Aderounmu |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, love, passion, romance,

KISS

Kiss saves and kills
Drop by drop KISS increases 
To form an ocean of EMOTION 
EMOTION in love billows
Around many pillows 
With PASSION it is POWERED 
You lose control over your EMOTION 
Your EMOTION now sets you in MOTION
To the journey of no return. 
You may ask, What is bad in it? 
The bad IN it is at the END of it!

Poem Details | by Mike Hauser |
Categories: heartbreak, humor, jealousy,

Charles Bukowski Ate My Girlfriend

Charles Bukowski ate my girlfriend
He started with her head
Fiddled with her like finger food
Putty in his hands

Charles Bukowski took my girlfriend 
Slapped her hard upside the face
Now she likes it dirty
So this poets been replaced

I'd like to say so long Charlie
As far as I'm concerned
You can hit the literary highway
Never to return

Charles Bukowski took my girlfriend
And showed her a good time
As I'm watching from the shallow end
Of my kiddie pool of simple rhyme

Charles Bukowski ate my girlfriend
Chewed her up then spit her out
Now that good for nothing Charlie
Is all she talks about

Poem Details | by Pepper Jones |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, dance, dance,

Viagra

I got up at six this morning
Feeling kind of weak
I had a shave and showered
As I walked my bones would creak

I have very bad arthritis
But I can kill the pain
I just have to take Viagra
Then go back to bed again

My girl is exasperated
Found out six months ago
A Viagra in the morning
Will keep me on the go

I cuddled next to her
":Lets dance they're playing our song"
Sleepy eyed she lay there
Snoring all along

Next morning I woke up
A note said she was gone
"Next time you hear your music
You must dance it all alone"

Poem Details | by ... Gigno |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, loveme,

Thirsty Clutch

I wanted something bubbly
Coke with ice cream trick
That fridge, again, empty
So I made my trip to Kwik

Swerving around this town in my horses
Parking up by the front door
No training could have prepared me for
What waited inside the store

Standing with her 2-liter of Diet 7-Up
If I just died, keep me here on heaven
I asked above not be taken so abruptly
Feeling luckier than sevens or elevens

Now she says that this place
Is wherever we stand here
Desiring her within my space 
Needing her crystal clear

That gentleness of her touch
As we let go while giving in
When love has got its clutch
In times we are skin to skin

Poem Details | by Damian Keady |
Categories: destiny, friendship, girl, girlfriend, humorous, life,

The Girl

The Girl...

The girl you met 
And fell in love with
Is not the one
You will end up with
If at all!

As once her mask
Has fallen away
Her true persona
Will hold sway
And then you realise

You were fooled!

For better or worse 
Richer or poorer
The girl for you
Might just live
Around the corner

And is a friend

DAMO 


Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: emotions, fun, funny, girlfriend, hilarious, humor, humorous,

Apricot Skin Apricot Dress

Apricot skin
Apricot face
Apricot hands
Apricot knees

Apricot apricots
Apricot cat
Apricot paint
Apricot baby's bottom

In my world I always think
Of a pricey apricot dress
My husband's pal paid way too much for it
Wanting to impress a girl who modeled it at a table for us.

Wanting to show off that he had three hundred dollars,
He gave them three hundred dollars for that dress
To surprise his girlfriend, Kathy.
Kathy was surprised.

She would have never chosen this dress.
It was so expensive, he pouted until she wore it to
Every dinner, supper, lunch, and finally to play racquetball in.
Apricot always reminds me of poor Kathy and her irritation.


Poem Details | by Damian Keady |
Categories: fun, funny, girlfriend, wife,

Do you

Do you take this strife
No not without a wife

Do you take this wife
No not if she gives me strife

Do you take this life
Only with my own wife

To give to me all the strife
To maybe live a better life

But first of all I need a wife

DAMO x

Poem Details | by Zamreen Zarook |
Categories: age, angel, beautiful, beauty, body, boyfriend, celebration, celebrity, change, character, creation, desire, emotions, children, friendship, girl, girlfriend, hero, humorous, i love you, image, life, memorial day, memory, middle school, relationship, romantic, school, society, student, teen, teenage, truth, wisdom, woman, women, words, world, youth,

Fake Words

Fake Words – Zamreen Zarook

God have given us mouth,
Not to speak to north and south,
Tongue is given under an oath,
So it’s our duty to protect them both.

Girls chat fake with boys,
Having a notion that the boys are toys,
They often make varied noise,
Thinking to keep a trap on handsome guys.

Boys are also human being,
So it’s not possible being clean,
Things varies in the way they are seen,
So positive thinking will make you keen.

Boys’ minds are pure,
As it is pure bio,
So don’t try to pour vino,
Which will take decades to get cure.

Poem Details | by Smail Poems |
Categories: age, angel, baseball, beauty, butterfly, caregiving, celebration, character, child, father daughter, feelings, film, fishing, flower, football, children, for her, friend, fun, funny, gender, girl, girlfriend, giving, graduation, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, growing up, growth, hair, happiness, happy, health, heart, hero,

Princesses

Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!

Poem Details | by Poet Destroyer A |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, love,

BED BUG BITES

BED BUGS BITES

It's time to fix the mattress
fluffy pillows and blankets,
enough room for just one more.
BITE ME' if you can!

Swat after, swat, after swat!  
Red itchy skin, what the h3ll!
The open breeze feels real good,
crawling too bite NATE!

BY; PD
________________________________________


NOTE~ I've never been bitten by these insects,
I just love the way my mother would always say...
"Don't let the bed bugs bite!"

Contest: "Bite me!"  

**I bite Nathan, who'll probably will love it ;-)**...LOL...

Poem Details | by Katherine Stella |
Categories: childhood, education, family, fantasy, children, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, imagination, inspirational, life, love, people, teen, uplifting, visionary

Stuck On You

braces interlocked - told him no kissing

Poem Details | by Osita Azike |
Categories: friendship, funny love, girl, girlfriend, love, love hurts,

Just Friends

Yeah I know it feels weird
But it's too beautiful to be bad
Now it's scary cos it might be a masquerade
If we happen to be more than what we are
Now that's cos we have become more than I can describe
No one understands when I sing all that jazz
It's already more than the music for mature minds
They go with the sarcastic reply "Just friends, yeah right"
And then I am lost in my definition
A new synonym is added in its oxymoron
She has become my doubted confidante
But only to the minds who refuse to see
If am gonna kick that bucket, it's definitely not your water in it

Poem Details | by Heather Hill |
Categories: funny, girlfriend-boyfriend, romance, sad, song-sympathy, teen

The break up- Footle contest

Cold stares
heart tares

Poem Details | by JEAN MURRAY |
Categories: dog, girlfriend, humorous,

FARTING FARMER

There once was a farmer called Seamus,
who had an incompetant anus.
When out on a date with girlfriend Kate,
he blamed his dog when he farted,
to prevent her being startled.

Poem Details | by randy johnson |
Categories: funny, giggle, girlfriend, humor, humorous,

STD

If you want my ex girlfriend, she's up for grabs.
But if you sleep with her, you will get the Crabs.
It's possible that you may get Herpes too.
Sleeping with her is a stupid thing to do.
I caught her in bed with my cousin and I thumped her.
She sleeps with a lot of men, that's why I dumped her.
I'm giving you valuable advice so you'd better listen to me.
If you seduce my ex girlfriend, you are sure to get an STD.

(This is a fictional poem)