GDPR Cookie Consent by FreePrivacyPolicy
Funny Poems About Grandchild or Grandchild Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Grandchild poems and/or funny poems about Grandchild. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Grandchild funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Grandchild Poems.

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: fun, funny, grandchild, grandmother, grandson, humor, humorous,

What Does Pulverize Mean

What does pulverize mean? The five-year-old asks me.
His face is a frown.
“No idea,” I lie. 
Having already put up with sobbing wailing 
over the Easter Bunny’s beheading
which was explained by his 11-year-old brother.
Brother who giggles and runs off.
No telling how he has used pulverize.


Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: baby, grandchild, grandmother, grandparents, humor, humorous, relationship,

She was Born with Cat Ears

She was born with cat ears.
So cute! Everyone lied.
Some of us felt them.
They were striped, and furry.
Odd for a human head.
Gray, pink in the middle.
“Adorable!” some of us said.
“Can they be removed?” the new grandmother asked.
Making her daughter-in-law her enemy for life.


Poem Details | by Michael Ward |
Categories: confusion, fun, grandchild, grandfather, humor, humorous, teenage,

A true storey

A true storey

My grandson paid me a visit
The other day
And I asked him do you still play
And he said that he wanted a trumpet
I thought  that I would give him a surprise
If I showed a little enterprise


So off to the shops I did go
And I bought a trumpet that
Even I could not blow
I gave my grandson the trumpet
And he said what's this grandad


It's what you wanted I said
I never said I wanted a trumpet
I said I wanted a drum kit 
I can't play the trumpet and the drums
What do you think I am going to do 
Join a band of one man bands


And if I could I would need another pair
Of hands

Poem Details | by David Sollis |
Categories: child, daughter, family, girl, grandchild, humorous, my child, silly,

A 4 line poem for H

I know a little girl named Hannah
A pretty, bashful and quiet child
But when she goes to visit Nanna
She eats too much chocolate and goes wild!

Poem Details | by Gary Wayne Hill |
Categories: children, grandchild, grandfather, humorous,

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

Out of the mouths of babes Words of wisdom are spoken Don’t make a promise you cannot keep They’ll remind you a promise is broken Despite having little minds I have to date not met A toddler who when given a promise Will simply just forget I’ll say “I’ll play with you tomorrow” The reply “you said that yesterday, So you must come and play with me, Tomorrow is now today” “Grandad, will you play with me” I reply “sorry I haven’t the time” “It’s alright Grandad, I have. It’s almost half past nine” “Sorry Grandad really can’t. Grandad is very tired” That’s when I got my marching orders When told “Grandad, you’re boring, you’re FIRED”

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: funny, grandchild, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, grandson, love hurts,

Lost the Remote in the Living Room

I lost the remote in the living room.
On Saturday.
My husband and I ran around looking and looking.
At first it was just the couch pillows, we were looking through.
An hour into it we had made what looks like a bon fire,
Tipping over couches, recliners, and such.
We broke a couple of tables.
Hey, wait, my husband reminded me.
Merlin was here today.
I called Merlin’s mommy, our daughter.
She said, "Oh, darn. We just found it. We thought it
was the one we lost a couple of weeks ago."

Merlin is our two year old grandson
Whom we apparently did not watch
As well as we should have the 
5 hours he was here.
He is going to have to
Leave his hoodie and
His diapers at home.


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: food, grandchild, grandmother, humorous,

JUNIOR

Jeez - how much mess can a jovial toddler make! Jello is smeared on his jubilant face, and grape juice drips from the highchair! Just like his daddy, his jaded granny recalls! Checked with how many syllables J Pleiades Contest Sponsored by Kim Merryman 03~04~17

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: feelings, grandchild, granddaughter, grandmother, grandparents, humorous, kid,

My Grandchildren Know Me Too

One time after an especially fun Grandma Cousin Camp Week
Where Grandpa was in hiding for 7 days, and 8 grandchildren and I did whatever
we please,
There was a bit of pouting
That it had to come to an end.
My oldest granddaughter, whom I will refer to as EM,
the wisest of the wise, because she is 4 years older
and terribly smart said,
"You know how you guys like to have a friend over?"
There was lots of nodding and yesing because we all love Em.
"Well, Grandma is having a friend over," she explained.
"It's GRANDMA!" 
They all got in the car
and waved good-bye,
Fully understanding
now.


Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: fun, funny, grandchild, grandmother, grandparents, humor, humorous,

Advice Today Different Than Maybe Yesterday

So I had to tell her to BLEEP off, Grandma.
She is fourteen, as of forty-six hours ago.
I am shocked.  
I wisely decide to give her some Grandmotherly advice.
Me:  Were there witnesses?
Molly: No.
Me:  Did anyone have their I-phone out?
Molly:  One, but I chased her down and smacked it out of her hand and hit delete.
I reported this conversation to my husband who rolled his eyes
And asked, “How is your Mini-Me?"

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: fun, grandchild, grandmother, grandparents, hilarious, humor, humorous,

I Will Tell Grandpa on You

My four-year-old grandson 
ran to the house to tell grandpa 
to make me stop building a fire.
His older siblings laughed.
Toasted marshmallows.

“I am calling 911 
and the Fire Department!” he
yelled from the porch.
“Come back and we can toast smores,” I said.
He stuck out his tongue.

“He came running in demanding my phone,”
my husband told me later, “so he could call 
911 and the fire department.”

“And he wanted you to tell me to stop, right?”
I asked him.
We both laughed.
Four does not understand yet who 
the boss is.

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: grandchild, humorous,

The World's Prettiest Baby Ever

The prettiest baby ever born.
The kindest child ever imagined.
The most adorable smile ever created.
So darling, she should be in the dictionary under the word darling.
 
The softest hair ever created.
The pinkest lips.
The bluest eyes.
So cute, your eyes will fall out because of her cuteness.
 
First grandchild?
How did you guess?


Poem Details | by Kim Rodrigues |
Categories: fear, grandchild, grandmother, humorous,

Soda Fountain

The boy gave a pass after sip.
The connection lame - lost my grip.
The fountain of suds
around my sole floods.
The humor and fear as I slip.

On pause, as I wait for a towel.
Aloof, as I cry and I howl.
Surrounded, I'm stuck
in pond like a duck.
This murderous flip's not too foul.

The youth, he's ashamed and he hides.
and knowingly, I do not chide.
I find and I hug,
I smile and I shrug.
This Gram thus takes slicks all in stride.

8/18/2019

*All too true of a story! One sip, then an entire can of sprite
spills out of the can. A scary accident! Thankfully I'm fine
and the four year old was not hurt!

Poem Details | by Kim Rodrigues |
Categories: grandchild, humorous,

BLUE WATER

the storm of blue water,
a day which will live in infamy.

the fear that clung to his little bum
as he raced into the hallway,
quivering, and i ask him what’s wrong.

he points at the princely seat,
“the water’s blue...the water’s blue”

his little scientific mind
saw this as a potential calamity.

now ten, this story would certainly beat
his face red.

4/17/2018


Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: grandchild, humorous,

You Are My Sweetheart

Hug. Hug. Kiss. Kiss. Smooch. Smooch.
YUCK!
Being four, he does not want to even think about that stuff
until his grandma comes into the room.
You are my sweetheart! He yells, wanting her all to himself.
He holds her head steady, so she can only look at him.
Can I look at your sister? She asks him.
Hug. Hug. Kiss. Kiss. Smooch. Smooch.
The answer is no apparently.