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Funny Poems About Green or Green Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Green poems and/or funny poems about Green. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Green funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Green Poems.

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, wedding,

Green, but No Envy

Had my hair color treated To surprise the wedding guests Shock came at the rehearsal Groom wanted to leave His once-blonde bride had green curls She’d been hoping for brunette Oh, how the bridesmaids chuckled Wig worn at wedding
Sadly, a true story.


Poem Details | by Dorian Petersen Potter |
Categories: car, friend, friendship, funny, giggle, halloween, humorous,

Tim And His Kelly Green Mustang


I have a friend by the name of Tim, He keeps in shape when frequents the gym. His Kelly green Mustang he drove And smack'd it into a cove. The witches got him and ate one of his limbs! Dorian Petersen aka ladydp2000 copyright@2014 October,5,2014

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny,

Going Green Again

No, I can’t believe it happened again!
Surely folks think I stand out like Big Ben
     The Jolly Old Green Giant
     Snarls at me, so defiant
Green hair – and I’m not a comedian

It first occurred just before I was wed
Dyed my blonde hair brown; it turned green instead
     Now the chlorine in the pool
     Made me look like quite a fool
And I’ve no option but to shave my head

Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun, funny, , cute,

Green Anaconda






                             Green Anaconda was the cute friend of Rhonda
                            Slippin’ and slidin’, so fast and strong like Honda
                                       They went to Hotel La Boanara
                                        Dined on caiman and capybara
                              And went to the Louvre to kiss La Gioconda

Poem Details | by Teddy Kimathi |
Categories: funny, funny love, green, humor, humorous, imagery, relationship,

Theory of Greenness

"What do we have for breakfast?"
"Lettuce and cabbage juice!" she
replies excitedly.
She had forced him to change
his blue pajamas to green
pajamas, then he returns
to bed -
the bed had to have green sheets,
green bed cover, and a green
pillow.
"Why do you do this to me?!" he asks.
"I was born in St. Patrick's Day!!!"
she replies.
He can't wait for a green light
to escape a world where
everything he hates is green.
He's afraid he's lost her love in the greenness....

Poem Details | by RALPH TAYLOR |
Categories: funny,

Wear Your Green

Time to wear your green

      Leprechauns are on the way

            Look for some green beer!




Poem Details | by Janice Canerdy |
Categories: humor,

Wear Green--Or Else

		

There’s coming a time of great cheer
when folks will drink lots of green beer
tell tales of wee sprites
and magical sights.
St. Patrick’s Day soon will be here.

On that day, if you don’t wear green,
just stay in your house. Don’t be seen,
or else a hard pinch
might cause you to flinch.
Some pinchers can be downright mean!

February 15, 2019, entered in Carolyn Devonshire's March Day Contest
placed 2nd


	

		

Poem Details | by Michelle Faulkner |
Categories: food, funny, nonsense, science fiction,

Green Cuisine

Lurking in fuzzy leftovers is seen
A quivering, crawling hairball of green
A florescent prune
Or cheese from the moon
Gurgles gastric, plastic alien spleen

The miser squire requires gluts of caffeine
To dissect this science project's gangrene
Harpoon on a spoon
Zoom to the saloon
Lunch ladies' supreme mystery cuisine.

3/15/19

For Green Humor contest
Sponsor: Carolyn Devonshire






Poem Details | by Kim Merryman |
Categories: dance, green, humorous,

Misguided Sean

There once was lad named Sean,
Who thought he was a leprechaun.
He dressed all in green,
And pinched the colleens,
Then danced a jig until dawn.

9/18/18
(Colleen - an Irish girl)

Poem Details | by Martin Braun |
Categories: humor,

A Green Rose I Send to Thee

A green rose I send to thee
on the wings of a bird set free.

With it comes my deepest desires,
that burn in the midnight moon on radiant fires.

Your secret mole, hidden from the public eye
flashes in my memory, dancing on ambers as if suspended on wires.

My drunken leprechaun, you intoxicate me with your lies.
You only want to amuse yourself while I take a green wee.

by
Martin Braun
3/16/2020

Poem Details | by Deb Wilson |
Categories: funny, garden, sexy,

The Cougar With The Green Thumb

There once was a cougar named Rose

who kept the young men on their toes.

Working in her garden

they'd say "beg your pardon

I'll bet you could use a good hose!"



for Bawdy Limericks Two contest
sponsored by Roy Jerden

Poem Details | by Danielle Deason |
Categories: humor,

My green sea turtle

wonderful slick shell,
Brown and golden, the color of a shell.
That perfect shaped shell.
The shell of my turtle i know too well.

You are the greenest.
The most bravest.
And fastest (i think)
And maybe the smartest too.

You slick and slide,
And glide on by,
The water is what you love.
And you swim in the water, like a dove in the sky.

May 29,2013

Poem Details | by Jack Ellison |
Categories: humorous,

A Cow With A Green Eyebrow



Did you ever see a cow with a green eyebrow If you did, you'd best lay off the hooch Hooch in moderation is acceptable But if you see a pink elephant fly by your window You have definitely over indulged Another sign is when the things you say Don't exactly match what you're thinking Such as instead of saying, “You have nice boobs” You actually say “bice noobs” Has a nice ring to it as does “a great sackbide” Hey I don't make this stuff up you know! So getting back to that strange looking cow If you haven't been drinking... and you see one Run, don't walk, to the nearest shrink! © Jack Ellison 2015

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: children, humorous, mum,

GREEN MEANY

She stood innocently picking her nose Wiped green slime upon mummy’s pretty clothes When her mum saw the mess Even she will confess That mum and daughter almost came to blows Apologies for the subject .... but the challenge by John Wulf was to come up with a limerick to use with his picture 8th July 2015

Poem Details | by Aiyah Torres |
Categories: funny, giggle, green,

Into the Grass

Fresh and green grass farm
Maiden walks freely at glance
Footstep in cow's dung

Poem Details | by Roger Horsch |
Categories: fun, funny,

Why Our Beer is Now Green

There once was a man named O'Dean
Who wasn't too bright or too keen
He sneezed at the bar
Filling everyone's jar
And, that's why our beer is now green

Poem Details | by Cona Adams |
Categories: anniversary, fun, giving, green, humor, money,

Money Chain

My parents’ repeated refrain -
“Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
In my dreams, a lush tree grew
with leaves of high numbers,
nothing under a twenty.

On our 25th Anniversary,
our church threw
a surprise party.

After the pot-luck dinner,
a gaily wrapped gift box
sported a top slit, waving
 
a bit of green. As we pulled,
a chain of bills roped up
through the slot, coiling
ribbons of green.

I had seen “Money Trees” 
as special occasion gifts,
but for the one and only
time, we experienced the gift
of “Money in a Box.”

 

Poem Details | by Robert Candler |
Categories: addiction, angst, blue, green, humorous, longing, memory,

Stoner's Lament

All those wee pot flakes
So carelessly whisked away...
Could use a joint now.

Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: clothes, humor,

Dressed In Green

Old Paddy went to the pub dressed in green The oddest sight the boys had ever seen He wore thigh high hose All covered in bows Of cross dressing he was crowned this year's queen

Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: fantasy, fear, funny, hilarious,

Green Eyed Monster

I had some extra green paint
Oh what can I do to make her faint
So a dabbed a bit down below
When in the room she came for a blow
I yelled 
Green-eyed monster is waiting to show


She fainted

Notes:
ok ok I saw so many poems with this topic, I said what the hell, why not!

Poem Details | by Alex Klugman |
Categories: death of a friend, funny, green, grief,

About the deceased say either good or nothing

About the deceased say either good or nothing,
Therefore at the funeral of the deceased chief,
The subordinates  danced in full  silence,
With happy faces, but slowly with grief!


Poem Details | by Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen |
Categories: food, funny, green,

Ode to a Green Hat

The green cuisine will make you lean.
Like Jeanne, Christine, or age eighteen.
Sardines, soybeans, along with greens
Will help you fit in smaller jeans.
The diet scene, you've seen umpteen!
You've worked out on the green machine.
Being lean they say is supreme.
Like if you are a strong marine.
Or when he rubs on your sunscreen.
But if you're fat and seem obscene,
Be sure to wear a hat that's green.
The color green is so serene.
And sparkles in the sunlight's sheen.
Eat: kale, spinach and collard greens
Or buy a great big hat thats green!

© March 1, 2012
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest:  The Colors Have It 
Sponsor	Russell Sivey

Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: funny, green, nature,

Pity the Poor Katydid

Somehow you flew in and hid
Right under my toilet lid
Ouite sure you were dead
'Little pest!' I said
Pity the poor Katydid!

Saw a leg twitch, God forbid
Guess what I done-gone-and-did?
'Okay, my green lass
Go die in the grass'
Pity the poor Katydid!

*** Katydids are harmless bright green insects with large wings in the cricket-grasshopper family

Poem Details | by Jack Clark |
Categories: funny, giggle, hilarious, humor, humorous,

Obscene Green

Me friend, Ol’ Paddy’s, a joke
He thinks he can best any bloke
    “you’ll see …
   None better’n me!”
(‘Tis braggadocio he spoke.)

So I, from rancid cuisine
Passed gas - ‘twas really obscene
    Then I state:
    “Do it, Mate:
Catch that ... paint it green!”

Poem Details | by Roy Jerden |
Categories: humorous,

But Her Bruises Were Green

There was once a hot cutie named Finch
Who was quite a flirtatious young minx
  On St Pat's she shunned green
  And dressed quite libertine
With ambitions of getting a pinch

March 17, 2016