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Funny Poems About Heart or Heart Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Heart poems and/or funny poems about Heart. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Heart funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Heart Poems.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, i miss you,

TO THE POET WHO BROKE MY HEART DW

We were ‘married’ on poetry soup I kept my hubby right in the loop I still rue the day That you went away I need to dry my tears and regroup Loved your humour right from the start I miss you with all of my heart Want you to come back Get you in the sack* Then they’ll never tear us apart! * In case you are wondering … Darren and I are simply amazing friends and this is a cheeky line from one of the last mails he sent me in October. I miss you my lovely friend 2nd February 2015 Contest: A Valentine Limerick SKAT A


Poem Details | by A.O. Taner |
Categories: beautiful, beauty, courage, cute love, dark, deep, depression, desire, destiny, devotion, dream, first love, funny love, grief, happiness, heart, heartbreak, heartbroken, how i feel, i am, i love you, i miss you, innocence, irony, jealousy, lonely, longing, loss, lost, love, love hurts, miss you, missing, missing you, night, passion, psychological, romance, romantic, sad, sad love, silence, sky, sleep, solitude, sunset, true love,

Red Light

have you ever felt like 
the flashing red light on the roof,
lonely as ever
visible at night, useless by day?

in sync with its partner next door
for a quick kiss over a few flashes only 
then arguing again and again 
night in, night out.

have you ever felt like 
the flashing red light on the roof,
not signaling a warning to keep away
but sending a call for compassion?

using the dark pauses in between 
to yell the same name 
over and over and over
into the emptiness of each night.

have you ever felt like
the flashing red light on the roof,
being your silent cry
only heard by your eternal love?

Poem Details | by Mark Pringle |
Categories: allegory, funny, lost love, heart, heart,

Once Upon a Happenstance

Once upon a happenstance
I gazed, a look, and paused in trance

To dream upon a crystal palace
Her heart aglee and form to chalice

With towers true and field in view
I set a course to give tongue to

I crossed the field - anxiety smote
And walked upon this palace mote

Yet, as I firmed, my heart to pour
She drew the bridge and bolted door

Poem Details | by Donal Mahoney |
Categories: heart, sick,

Funny as a Heart Attack

A group of older men gather
once a week to talk about life 
after a heart attack.

Old Len chews tobacco still 
and tells jokes in a voice so low 
no one can hear the punch line. 

Another man asks Len  
to talk louder so they all 
can hear the punch line.

That’s when they discover
Len's been telling the same joke 
at every meeting, over and over.

The joke’s about a loan officer  
who lends a man $10,000 for a 
face lift that turns out so good

the lender can’t find him.
With heart attacks in common, 
the men yell “Tell it, again, Len!” 


Donal Mahoney

Poem Details | by Sara Kendrick |
Categories: funny, lovebody,

The Heart Carved On The Tree

There was a lady that I once knew
She met her love she felt was true
He carved their initials into a tree
As she leaned closely on his knee

Trouble in paradise soon they learned
When her initials he wanted to burn
Her middle name he did not know
Until on the tree he wanted to show

Her initials spelled a body part you see 
For her name was Linda Elaine Greene
When he burned it into the tree
He was concerned exactly what would be

When also carved his name into the tree
His name spelled a body also you see
For his name was Armond Raymond Moran
Now what was seen Leg Loves Arm so he ran

Poem Details | by Gail Foster |
Categories: bird, heart, humor, irony, love, myth, pain,

The Gift of Eros


The Gift of Eros

Aloft flies Eros; mischief fluttered wings
With silent rustle whisper overhead
By arrows pierced; the hearts of knaves and kings
The chilly grave, the restless lover’s bed
Blue London air, red Piccadilly light
Above the shifting crowd and constant noise
In summer heat, in neon and the night
He aims his slender bow with perfect poise
Aloft flies Eros; underneath his feet
As shadows of the Circus slowly shift
I contemplate my own love, bitter, sweet
The wound that Eros wrought in me, the gift
And as I turn my tears up to the sky
A pigeon drops an arrow in my eye

by Gail




















Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: heartbroken, humorous, poetry,

YOU BROKE MY HEART

I wrote the perfect poem, and I double-checked each line The imagery was stunning, the picture painted was divine My face broke into a smile with the glowing comments I received But when I saw the ‘winner’s list’ I found my eyes were deceived There was a massive void where my name should have been How could the premiere contest sponsor be so bloody mean! Contest You Broke my Heart Sponsored by Nicola Byrne 02~11~17

Poem Details | by Joe Flach |
Categories: funny, heart, heart,

What a Way to Go

Of course it would involve making love
If I had to choose the way that I would die
Fornicating until my heart gives out
Is something I might like to try

The mortician might have a job to do
In trying to fix the smile stuck on my face
And the cause of death on the certificate
Might result in a little disgrace

But alas, my heart seems to last much longer
Than the other required part for this act
But I am willing to keep on giving it a try
And on that you can bet as a fact


Written for the "Die A Fun Death" contest.

Poem Details | by Smail Poems |
Categories: age, angel, baseball, beauty, butterfly, caregiving, celebration, character, child, father daughter, feelings, film, fishing, flower, football, children, for her, friend, fun, funny, gender, girl, girlfriend, giving, graduation, grandfather, grandmother, grandparents, growing up, growth, hair, happiness, happy, health, heart, hero,

Princesses

Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!

Poem Details | by Jimmi Canada |
Categories: graduation, growing up, heart, history, humor, marriage, mentor, mirror, muse, myth, spiritual, spoken word, thank you,

Walk

A bulging extremity,

a feminist integrity,

a swaggering centipede,

the cops arresting me,

my dick the right size,

the bang coming out of your eye's,

the sensitivity upon demise,

the dew and dripping from the sky's,

the eagerness of eloping,

the magnitude of doping,

the honesty of groping,

scattering scorpions glowing and scoping.

Poem Details | by A.O. Taner |
Categories: beautiful, cute love, dedication, desire, destiny, devotion, emotions, encouraging, funny love, girlfriend, grief, heart, heartbreak, heartbroken, how i feel, i love you, i miss you, innocence, kiss, love, love hurts, math, meaningful, miss you, missing, missing you, nice, passion, recovery from, romance, romantic, sad love, senses, sensual, symbolism, together, true love, voyage, wisdom, woman, word play,

4 Love

Love is a four letter word
she whispered into his ear,

So is four, as is word
he whispered back into her fear,

Such is "you and I"
cried his heart - she could hear,

Their cheeks hugged, eyes kissed
each shedding a single tear. 


Poem Details | by Anthony Scandrick II |
Categories: angel, beautiful, beauty, caregiving, childhood, confusion, courage, dark, daughter, death, dedication, depression, devotion, dream, faith, fear, forgiveness, freedom, friendship, girlfriend, grief, happiness, hate, heaven, hope, humorous, imagination, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, passion, peace, relationship, romance, romantic, sorrow, sorry, stress, sympathy, uplifting, heart, hate, hate, heart,

Never Take Hate Outside

When you're hurt inside,
And there's no where to hide,
And there's no one on your side,
And it's killing your pride,
Inside,
Never take hate outside,

When your heart is chocking,
The heavy words never spoken,
The things that hurt you inside,
When love has died,
Inside,
Never take hate outside,

When your heart is gone,
From being alone,
And it beats a solemn tone,

When you're cold inside,
It's only a short ride,
Never take hate outside

Poem Details | by Emma Anonymous |
Categories: funny, love,

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Absence makes
the heart grow fonder
to those closer
not those yonder

Poem Details | by A.O. Taner |
Categories: betrayal, boat, change, computer, confusion, cool, crazy, cute love, emotions, fantasy, funny, funny love, heart, heartbroken, hello, irony, light, loneliness, lonely, lost love, love, love hurts, parody, relationship, river, romantic, sad love, satire, soulmate, voyage, wisdom,

Boat

I had my heart put on auto-pilot,
set to navigate towards you; 

the low-battery signal just came on,
I don't know what to do. 


Poem Details | by Richard Lamoureux |
Categories: heart, humor, lonely,

A penny for your thoughts

I searched for a Penny
So I could hear her thoughts
Sadly there weren't any
My heart was left in knots

Perhaps a wooden Nickle 
Or maybe a thin dime
Would help me in a pickle
So this girl could be mine

I was determined to pass Buck
For he seemed to have her ear
He possessed that Irish luck
So I cried in my green beer

This girl I wanted to hold
Was enamored with his gold






"Penny for your thoughts"

"Don't accept any wooden Nickles."

"All he had was one thin dime"

"The Buck stops here"

"Luck of the Irish"

"The one who has the Gold gets the girl!"

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: break up, future, hope, humorous, relationship,

VACANCY TO FILL ONE LONELY HEART - FOR CONTEST

My Ex Husband:- Lied to me Was often drunk and violent Belittled me Spent all my money Ran off with my best friend ... HE’S FIRED! Position is now vacant the new applicant needs to be:- Honest Teetotal and gentle as a lamb Stand by me through thick and thin and not put me down Solvent enough to buy me the odd bunch of flowers or an orchid Loyal – (the only real friends I have left are male!) If you think you can fill this position ... YOU’RE HIRED! Contest: The Interview – Judy Konos 7th June 2015 Jan Allison

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: car, eulogy, humor,

''Sicilia'' your breaking my heart OR his final ''hit''

Filled plate of grilled tortellini 
Killed the great James Gandolfini
This star's carcass heavy  
A Ford or a Chevy
Should have been a Lamborghini

Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: family, funny

Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder


very nice to me lived far across the country the perfect distance
Barbara Gorelick for Dr Ram's "in-laws" contest

Poem Details | by Jerica Sanchez |
Categories: boyfriend, care, dedication, devotion, faith, first love, for her, for him, gender, girlfriend, happiness, happy, heart, heaven, home, house, how i feel, humor, husband, i love you, imagination, inspiration, inspirational, kiss, longing, love, marriage, miss you, missing, poems, poetry, romance, romantic, together, words,

FOREVERMORE

When I hear your name
My heart beats faster than usual
It's not that I am ashame
But It's just your name is too special..

Can't control the feelings
When I am with you
Can't stop smiling
When you hold me like you do

When you hug me then
I feel like I'm in heaven
You are a blessing from above
And you are the reason why I loved

I'll promise to love you FOREVERMORE..
And I will cherish you until the end of my borrowed life
And I will keep our precious memories as long as
we see each other in our next life..

Poem Details | by poesy relish |
Categories: humor, poetess, valentines day,

SKAT A broke my heart :D

SKAT A broke my poor delicate heart with a topic i cant take part On valentine i must craft not by design did she draft she a poet so dear and smart © Nadiya (2 Feb '15)
Place 2nd in the contest 'a valentine limerick to the poet who broke my heart' by Skat A on 27 May 2015.

Poem Details | by Faye Gibson |
Categories: heart, humorous,

Lemon Pie

He stole her heart and her handbag;
she cooked his goose and lemon pie.
He planned the purse theft as a gag;
he stole her heart and her handbag.
Her heart also his, watch him brag,
but not so fast--she will deny
he stole her heart and her handbag;
she cooked his goose and lemon pie.

Copyright, August 27, 2014
Faye Lanham Gibson

Poem Details | by Michelle Born |
Categories: change, emo, gothic, heart, hilarious, mirror, poetry,

MISERABLE


There are times some mat be some what miserable

To me my life isn't bad enough to say it is terrible,

I am happy and blessed with my whole world

Those whom are not happy always live in turmoil,

Misery loves company they always say

yes it is sad that others do feel this way,

My heart goes out to those but, they have to be the ones wanting to change

The negativity they have in their souls needs to be rearranged.

Written By: Unique Poetry 2015

Poem Details | by Cindi Rockwell |
Categories: adventure, funny, heart,

NEVER, ALWAYS, SOMETIMES

I never ate a dinosaur,
Though I have always felt the call.
Sometimes I crave that giant beast
Like some wild Neanderthal.

I never yet have had false teeth.
I should be more thankful, I'm sure,
But sometimes at my granny's house
Denture humor make us all roar!

I never jumped from an airplane.
I always found jumpers quite mad!
The plane's not falling, pilot good,
Sometimes for small blessings be glad!

I never told my mom good-bye.
I'll always regret that mistake.
Won't meet again til some time's passed
A future for bygones to make.

Poem Details | by Paul Curtis |
Categories: funny

YOUNG AT HEART

Young at heart
Well that’s a start
You’re only as old as you feel
Isn’t that the deal?
Well in my heart I feel young
But when all said and done
Being young at heart, let’s face it
Still means you’re older in other places

Poem Details | by Jaquay Atkins |
Categories: addiction, anniversary, anxiety, art, baby, beautiful, beauty, blessing, boyfriend, class, confidence, conflict, desire, destiny, devotion, education, environment, faith, fantasy, fate, feelings, for her, fun, funny love, future, giggle, girlfriend, happiness, heart, heaven, life, light, loneliness, lonely, lost, lust, magic, strength, stress, sweet love, symbolism,

I Love You

Often, I have uttered these words to myself
Your feminity has entranced my manhood
My vision is focused on your subject matter 
A quick study of a woman's psychology 
I feel you with my mind, and touch you with my eyes
Senses are heightened in your very presence 
Soon, I will utter the ultimate words of encouragement 
Constant admiration for your hidden strengths 
Instant chemistry between us has changed our biology 
Soon, I will hold you tight and recite the following;
Baby, I love you