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Funny Poems About Heaven or Heaven Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Heaven poems and/or funny poems about Heaven. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Heaven funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Heaven Poems.

Poem Details | by Kim van Breda |
Categories: humor, poets, tribute,

POETRY HEAVEN

oh what a wonderful group we make as we pen our poems and take a break our traits range from weird to strange in all probability certifiably deranged leaving legacies of genius in our wake


Poem Details | by John lawless |
Categories: heaven, humor,

What if Heaven

What if Heaven….
is HELL….
The ultimate
gated
retirement community.
No “crazy” old neighbors
talking to their cats,
feeding their plastic flamingoes
styrofoam packing peanuts.
No music
unless downloaded
from a select play list,
no flags, no bumper stickers,
(unreadable wrinkled tattoos – OK).
No churches
if you’re here
you should know why.
Just forever smiling
angelic faces
aching
to drop a cannonball
into the pool.


John G. Lawless
©4/4/2019

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: allah, angel, angst, confusion, dream, education, faith, freedom, god, happiness, health, heaven, history, holocaust, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, miracle, nature, on writing and words, pain, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religious, sad, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,

Haikus About God: III

Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: allah, angel, angst, courage, dream, education, faith, fantasy, fear, funny, god, heaven, history, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, introspection, jesus, journey, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, mystery, nostalgia, on work and working, parody, passion, peace, people, philosophy, political, prayer, recovery from..., religion, religious, spiritual, stress, success, sympathy, teacher, time, write,

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?

Poem Details | by Stacey Brown |
Categories: funny, happy, husband, marriage,

Heaven

His lovely wife is named Heaven
She scolds him seventy times seven
Yet, Big Joe just never really cared
In Heaven he lives happily, hearing impaired!


Stacey Brown 2-6-14
Dr. Ram Mehta contest
Husbands are in heaven
whose wives scold not

Poem Details | by JSLambert Mister ROBOTO |
Categories: bereavement, betrayal, drink, giggle, heaven, hyperbole, obituary,

Machiavelli

Machiavelli  s'been stewing 
teardrops in the Soup

Stooping to new lows 
for SYMPATHY 
stirring chickens in the coop

Seems some folks will do anything 
for what they think is fame
Swiss cheese stories for glory
Lordy! Whaddah' shame!

Reminds me of two classic movies...
"Freddie Lives" and the other is 
"The Crying Game"...
but this one's very unbelievable, it ain't scary,
and it's much
MUCH more lame!~


Poem Details | by Verlena S. Walker |
Categories: health, heaven, hilarious, hip hop, howl, humor, humorous,

A HUMOROUS GROWL

I am getting hungry y’all.
I have no food in the house.
I wonder why I have to order out.
Laugh out Loud
Colloquium

I am getting hungry you all.
I have to order out.
I have no food in my house.
LOL
Acronym

I am hungry y’all.
I have ordered out.
Still no food in my house
Don’t you dare laugh out.
Corrected 
_______________________|
Penned on May 01, 2014!

Poem Details | by Huberta van Akkeren |
Categories: humorous,

Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not

‘t was on a rainy day in Camelot
A knight saw a maid he liked a lot
Before he paid heed
He remembered, indeed
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not

The maid, it seemed, had almost forgot
The words of her mother, whose name was Dot
For marital bliss
Remember just this 
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not

The knight with the maid was quite besot
And after a time they tied the knot
She never did scold
He did not grow old
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not

The end of this tale may surprise a lot
Because heaven is not the place he got
 Words one day you may recall
Some, but certainly not all
Husbands are in heaven whose wives scold not

Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: humor, religion,

If I go to heaven

If I go 
to heaven,
then what?

Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: funny,

Heaven Help Me

Please move it on sir
you are holding up the line
Re-innn...carnate what?
Could you repeat that? Oh, yeah!
See that ‘Been-There-Done-That’ sign?

Poem Details | by Anthony Scandrick II |
Categories: angel, beautiful, beauty, caregiving, childhood, confusion, courage, dark, daughter, death, dedication, depression, devotion, dream, faith, fear, forgiveness, freedom, friendship, girlfriend, grief, happiness, hate, heaven, hope, humorous, imagination, life, lonely, loss, lost, lost love, love, miracle, passion, peace, relationship, romance, romantic, sorrow, sorry, stress, sympathy, uplifting, heart, hate, hate, heart,

Never Take Hate Outside

When you're hurt inside,
And there's no where to hide,
And there's no one on your side,
And it's killing your pride,
Inside,
Never take hate outside,

When your heart is chocking,
The heavy words never spoken,
The things that hurt you inside,
When love has died,
Inside,
Never take hate outside,

When your heart is gone,
From being alone,
And it beats a solemn tone,

When you're cold inside,
It's only a short ride,
Never take hate outside

Poem Details | by Brenda McGrath |
Categories: food, fun, humorous,

Pancakes Come From Heaven

Pancakes come from heaven above,
One bite and it is culinary love!
Calories don’t count, you can eat your fill!
The Pancake world surely beats the grill!


Poem Details | by Deborah Finneran |
Categories: beautiful, change, character, chocolate, food, fun, growing up, happy, heaven, humorous, i love you, imagination, inspiration, inspirational, introspection, joy, life, light, love, metaphor, philosophy, self, simple, strength, success, thank you, thanks, thanksgiving, time, today, truth, uplifting, visionary, wisdom, words,

Cookies-Food For Thought

Cookies -
Why can’t I have the chocolate one
I want more
She took my cookie
Hers is bigger than mine
I want to trade
That’s not fair

Cookies +
Thank you for the cookie
I love you
Thanks for all you do for me
I am satisfied
This is good
I am loved
Written By  Deborah Finneran :)  2013

Poem Details | by Tim Ryerson |
Categories: funny, girlfriend,

Heaven Sent

My girlfriend’s love never ceases
My girlfriend loves me to pieces
My girlfriend takes away my breath
My girlfriend just loves me to death

Too young to be passing so soon
(Services to be held at noon)







Poem Details | by Jerica Sanchez |
Categories: boyfriend, care, dedication, devotion, faith, first love, for her, for him, gender, girlfriend, happiness, happy, heart, heaven, home, house, how i feel, humor, husband, i love you, imagination, inspiration, inspirational, kiss, longing, love, marriage, miss you, missing, poems, poetry, romance, romantic, together, words,

FOREVERMORE

When I hear your name
My heart beats faster than usual
It's not that I am ashame
But It's just your name is too special..

Can't control the feelings
When I am with you
Can't stop smiling
When you hold me like you do

When you hug me then
I feel like I'm in heaven
You are a blessing from above
And you are the reason why I loved

I'll promise to love you FOREVERMORE..
And I will cherish you until the end of my borrowed life
And I will keep our precious memories as long as
we see each other in our next life..

Poem Details | by James Fraser |
Categories: heaven, humor, religion, boy,

The Cowboy and Beelzebub

Off to the Church this Cowboy went For Sunday to him was Heaven sent But as he took to his pew Suddenly into their view Beelzebub, he, now present Imagine the screaming now starting To the exits they're simply departing But this Cowboy remains Against Beelzebub's deign Oh the odours of the leaving farting To the Cowboy, Beelzebub says In a broken down language display Are you frightened of me Am I stronger than thee Not really, who do you think you portray For Satan I am, but you never have fears No matter what I say, leaves you no tears So simply, what can it be That your not scared of thee I've been married to your sister for years .

Poem Details | by Jaquay Atkins |
Categories: addiction, anniversary, anxiety, art, baby, beautiful, beauty, blessing, boyfriend, class, confidence, conflict, desire, destiny, devotion, education, environment, faith, fantasy, fate, feelings, for her, fun, funny love, future, giggle, girlfriend, happiness, heart, heaven, life, light, loneliness, lonely, lost, lust, magic, strength, stress, sweet love, symbolism,

I Love You

Often, I have uttered these words to myself
Your feminity has entranced my manhood
My vision is focused on your subject matter 
A quick study of a woman's psychology 
I feel you with my mind, and touch you with my eyes
Senses are heightened in your very presence 
Soon, I will utter the ultimate words of encouragement 
Constant admiration for your hidden strengths 
Instant chemistry between us has changed our biology 
Soon, I will hold you tight and recite the following;
Baby, I love you

Poem Details | by The Lonely Poet |
Categories: faith, heaven, humorous, lost love,

In Heaven

I will try to be a good man
And do good deeds as long as I'm livin'
I will try to behave as I can
Shall I eventually go to heaven
                                    
For I hear there you can ask God for....
Anything you want, whatever it may be
I'll try to be good shall I go to heaven
So I can ask him to make you love me!

Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: funny, humorous,

A Marriage Made In Heaven

Poor Clem was hanging off the shed rafters,
His angry outback wife strutting underneath,
" You've gotta come down some time Clem,"
Said angry Etta through grinding teeth.

"I've never heard of anything so despicable,"
Poor Clem was hanging on in dreaded fear,
"You think you know a man so well,
Then he goes and takes your beer."

Poem Details | by Seren Roberts |
Categories: humorous,

Luck and Heaven

If I am in Luck, Heaven is near Showered and waxed,good atmosphere Dressed to kill or should say thrill His libido has gone downhill Viagra worked, gave a thankful cheer
Penned May 21 2015

Poem Details | by Joyce Johnson |
Categories: funny

Manna from Heaven

The crocs were lined around the rim,
catching a nap after their swim,
until hearing, "Wake up guys,
supper's falling from the skies.
I'll race you for a share of him".



Inspired by Carolyn' contest  4th place

Poem Details | by Anthony O. Mitchell Jr. |
Categories: fantasy, food, heaven, humorous, memory, nature, peace, summer,

My Huckle Berry Heaven 2K13

Many of time have
I sat upon earthy ground,
amongst Huckle Berry patches
gorging in Huckle Berry heaven
with glutton lips painted purple.

Poem Details | by Volodymyr Knyr |
Categories: bible, fruit, heaven, humorous, irony, passion, religious,

Eden

If some fruit is forbidden in Eden,
Eden soon also will be forbidden.

Volodymyr Knyr
2014

Poem Details | by Darlene Gifford |
Categories: destiny, heaven, humor,

Hell's Inferno

you can burn in Hell

or wait, hot off the presses,

Heaven has icy pops!




Contest: How hot was it!!!
John Lawless, contest

Poem Details | by RUDOLPH RINALDI |
Categories: heaven, humor, humorous, inspiration, miracle, snow,

heaven sent

a snowflake falls from heaven 
lands on the tip of my nose 
and points the way