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Funny Poems About Holiday or Holiday Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Holiday poems and/or funny poems about Holiday. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Holiday funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Holiday Poems.

Poem Details | by Carolyn Devonshire |
Categories: funny, holiday

Valentine's Day Musings

All year long he puts my heart on a shelf
No surprise I’d rather be by myself
     If there’s no Valentine treat
     From this worthless hunk of meat
He can go on making love to himself

Remember there’s an “I” in Valentine
So if no one’s around to say, “Be mine”
     Just splurge – get a new hairdo
     Party with an all-girl crew
Check out the divorce rate and say, “I’m fine”




*For Francine's Valentine Limerick contest


Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: fantasy, fun, funny, holiday, humorous, love,

I Want Peace

I want a piece of chocolate cake
Oh and a delicious piece of cherry pie
I want a piece of that place called Fort Knox
With all those pieces I could afford a lot

I want a piece of that lady over there
In her haute couture she saunters with such flair
I want a piece of the clouds in the sky
I just want it, don't ask me why!

I want some tiny peace of mind
To have some pieces left to be kind
Then I can give you a piece of  Art
A piece I promise comes straight from the heart

Poem Details | by Mark J. Halliday |
Categories: chocolate, holiday, humorous, religion, valentines day,

Valentine

Valentinius--
Not much is known about him,
But all girls love him.

Saint Valentine's Feast,
On February fourteenth:
Mostly chocolates!

It would make more sense
To honor Aphrodite...
So then, why don't we?!

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: christmas, funny, holiday,

Christmas Wishes for You

For anyone struggling in the holiday season!!

Although there's nothing much that I could add
to all the Christmas wishes ever made,
I'll wish for you that traffic won't be bad
the day you shop and that you may get paid
some kind of Christmas bonus for a change,
and when beneath the mistletoe you stand,
I hope you're not approached by someone strange,
but rather by a stranger who is grand!
And should you be so childish (I mean bold)
to ice skate on a lake or board the snow,
I pray for you that you don't catch a cold
or break a leg as down some hill you go.
My wishes, like my gifts, are kind of cheap;
May faith in them require no giant leap!

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: business, funny, holiday, philosophy, time,

December 21, 2012

The world as we know it will end!
This warning the Mayans did send
But yes there's still time
After reading this rhyme
To honor Black Friday and spend

Poem Details | by Sunshine Smile |
Categories: giggle, holiday, love,

- Rio de Janeiro And Carl -





Carl is still in Rio
He is hooked on the casino
Sweet love in moonlight
Cherry musk all night
His libido is like a volcano













01.03.2018
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
6-8-5 -5 -10 syllables
www.howmanysyllables.com







Poem Details | by PAT Adams |
Categories: christmas, holiday, horror, humor,

Santa's Bad Day

The elves filled Santa's sack with toys
For all the good little girls and boys

When he lifted it up he used his back
Instead of his legs and he tore his sack

An elf gave a band-aid to Santa, their proctor
Santa said, "No, I need to go to a doctor"

But sadly a doctor he would do without
There was no time, so he started his route

He stood up in the sleigh, his jewels in a brace
Yelling, "OW, Merry Christmas!", all over the place!

Poem Details | by Kim Rodrigues |
Categories: holiday, humor,

GOOD LUCK, SAM

GOOD LUCK, SAM

Shamrocks with green eggs and ham.
Resistance from Sam I Am.
If you offer him gold,
he won’t see the mold.
Leprechauns roar at the sham.

3/14/2017
Kim Merryman’s Luck of the Irish Limerick Contest
 






Poem Details | by Joseph Spence Sr |
Categories: adventure, family, fantasy, funny, happiness, holiday, music,

Fantasy Escape (Senryu)

World of Walt Disney The day after Thanksgiving Shoulder to shoulder © Joseph 11/23/07 © All Rights Reserved Author’s Comments: The Japanese Senryu format has three lines as follows: the first has five syllables, the second seven syllables, and the third five syllables. The pattern is 5/7/5 for a total of seventeen syllables. The Senryu is about an emotional expression, human nature, and things in the human realms which maybe satiric or humorous.

Poem Details | by Laurie Ginn |
Categories: funny, holiday

Silent Night, Weary Night

Silent night, weary night
Worked all day, worked all night
Worked at baking and wrapping of gifts
Hoping the family wont get in a rift

Ohhh and where is the fruit cake
 and  by gosh now who spiked the nog

Silent night, weary night
House to clean, the cake has a lean
All of the stockings now hung in a row
I think the cat just swallowed a bow

Oh  I forgot batteries
Thank God 7-11 won’t close

Silent night, weary night
Family is gathered
The paper is scattered
I still have three more gifts now to build
No understanding the instructions will yield

Oh but these are the good times
I keep repeating this in my mind

Poem Details | by kj force |
Categories: bird, food, holiday, humor, thanksgiving,

Paying the High Price of Gas

I feel a blockage has occurred...
It must have been all that stuffing and Turkey bird...
The gurgles, the rumbling, the passing of gas...
It’s beyond my control ,Oh dear, please let this pass...
We have guests you see...
So I don’t have the privilege to just get up and flee...
No one should ever be in this state...
And I should never have put so much on my plate... 
Cause now I’m paying and to my demise ...
The rite of passage has been denied...
I feel like I may blow up and explode...
It’s times like this when you miss the commode...

Poem Details | by Paige Kostyniuk |
Categories: autumn, fun, funny, halloween, holiday, humor, october,

Vlad the Vampire

There was a vampire named Vlad. 7
The Village all thought he was bad. 7
But the true story. 5
Just wasn't gory. 5
It turns out Vlad was just sad. 7

October 23. 2019



Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: funny, holiday

The Week Before Xmas

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way,
Oh what fun it is to pay that credit card today.
Lots of stuff, mostly junk, keeps us in the red,
Need to keep a little back, just to keep us fed.
.
Dashing through the store, pushing left and right,
Looking for the sales.. Couldn’t sleep last night.
Country’s in a mess, shouldn’t spend this way,
Just found out I kept my job, for at least another day.

Jingle bells, Jingle Bell, Jingle all the way,
Holy Cow, I can’t wait, until the month of May.



Poem Details | by Doris Culverhouse |
Categories: funny, holiday

Christmas Sunshine

Make us some sunshine for Christmas Santa
It's mighty gloomy here, grey clouds over head
Put the color back into the day and moon light in the night
Bring me a tender heart and may kind words overflow

Santa you can bring it, bring it like no other
Call on the heavens to roll back the clouds
Warm my muscles and calm the aches
I won't ask for nothin' else Santa

Just put a warm glow in the sky!

Poem Details | by Linda Fowler |
Categories: celebration, fantasy, halloween, holiday, humor, silly,

Now You Know Jack

There once was a cool guy named Jack
Jack o’ lanterns attacked his back 
	Witch Cate blew straight through
	Umbrella askew
She saved the famed wizard Jack Black

*The House with a Clock in Its Walls

Poem Details | by Carol Sunshine Brown |
Categories: children, funny, holiday, uplifting,

Easter Bunny Race

Easter bunny race
Fell as he could not keep pace
Muddy bunny face

Poem Details | by Patricia Sawyer |
Categories: animals, funny, holiday, imagination, easter,

Easter Bunny

Do the Easter Hop
Basket filled with  Sweet Joy
Candy and A Toy

Poem Details | by Dan Keir |
Categories: adventure, angel, beautiful, business, childhood, death, education, fantasy, farewell, freedom, friendship, funeral, funny, growing up, happiness, happy, health, holiday, home, hope, humorous, imagination, inspirational, nostalgia, on writing and words, parody, passion, patriotic, peace, people, philosophy, slam, social, song, sorrow, sorry, spiritual, time, woman,

Ding Dong The Wicked Witch is Dead

Globally, miners jubilantly jump for joy
Smiles on the faces of every girl and boy
The grins of a newly opened Xmas toy
Thatcher’s dead.

Trade unionists bounce along the street
Music blaring and the tapping of feet
From nurses to Bobbies still on the beat
Thatcher’s dead.

Street parties announced in the nation
Satan who brought economic inflation
Is deceased, now’s the time for elation
Thatcher’s dead.

Its times like this I’m sad I’m an atheist
And can only shout and wave my fist
And then go to the pub and get pissed
Thatcher’s dead.

Poem Details | by Gail DeBole |
Categories: funny, holiday, thanksgiving,

A Thankful Turkey

Written by Gail DeBole

When a turkey, who yearly escapes
From his owner's Thanksgiving plate,
Was asked to reveal
Why he's never a meal
He said, "That much of a turkey I ain't!"



Note: Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of each November in the United States.  President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed this as an official holiday in 1863.

Poem Details | by Isaiah Zerbst |
Categories: holiday, humor, humorous, ireland, irony,

My Old Bucket

I lost my old bucket so sadly,
And felt oh so terribly badly;
Then lo and behold
A pot full of gold!
I'd lose me another and gladly.

Poem Details | by Robin L. Gass |
Categories: funny, holiday

The Sad Little Pumpkin

Little pumpkin very sad
for in white he'd been clad
To be a lantern was his dream
but woeful he was white as cream
So I said, to his delight,
that I liked his coat of white
Now, because I liked him most,
my Jack O' Lantern is a ghost




Inspired by Raul Morenos' White Pumpkin contest

Poem Details | by JSLambert Mister ROBOTO |
Categories: caregiving, childhood, confusion, family, father, children, funny, happiness, holiday, husband, imagination, life, mother, natural disasters, nature, parody, people, places, satire, social, son, teen, wife

Redneck FATHER'S DAY------

***NOTE~TO BE READ WITH A RIDICULOUS "SILKY SOUTHERN DRAWL" (have fun:)***



"Storm over yet...?"

"Well hay'ell ye'ah! 
 woo-hoo!
 sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
 whadda'bou  that boy th'er?
 sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"

"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"

"Wha'choo sayin? 
 wha'th'a?
 na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
 shoot! 
 'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm! 
 torna'durr warnin' too!
 he gonna have him'a cole burr;  
 on me!"
 my treat!
 mama, git him'a cole burr! 
 ro'tt now; 
 ya'here?
 besides...
 ta'days father's day!" 



© 2011  ~JSLambert Esquire

   










Poem Details | by Roy Jerden |
Categories: holiday, humor,

Premature Exoneration

"It's a cuckold I am!", Mick sadly said
"I'm after finding black hairs in me bed!"
  "An' there's a relief!"
  Sighed Ginger O'Keefe
"I was shure ye were aboot ta say red!"

Poem Details | by Payne Poet |
Categories: adventure, anniversary, caregiving, daughter, family, fantasy, forgiveness, funny, happiness, health, holiday, hope, imagination, life, passion, peace, travel,

Dancing Angels

Angels in heaven
Dancing on a small puddle
Always stay afloat

Poem Details | by Joe Flach |
Categories: funny, holiday,

A St Paddy's Day Limerick

I once drank some beer that was green
The weirdest that I’d ever seen
They said, “It’s that way
For St. Patricks day"
I then peed with green in my stream