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Funny Poems About House or House Funny Poems

Humorous and funny House poems and/or funny poems about House. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious House funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other House Poems.

Poem Details | by Maryam Jameela Haniff |
Categories: funny

A noisy house

A noisy House

Banging, clanging
screaming, squealing
babies crying

Mothers shouting
Keep quiet!

Dancing, singing
jumping, thumping
grannies munching

Mothers shouting
keep quiet!

Chatting, laughing
clapping, slapping
children scratching

Mothers shouting
keep quiet!...........

I sit here 
in this noisy house
in a far corner
as quiet as a mouse

With pencil and book
and Ipod in ears
writing my poems
where nobody cares.


Poem Details | by daver austin |
Categories: animals, funny

A HOUSE FULL OF CATS

A house full of cats
Poor ventilation
Doctor says I have hair balls

How mysterious
Our Tab has far -away eyes
UGHH!    It's flatulence

One cat likes to talk
It's the inflection that counts
Feed me, please....................? FEED ME!!!
        (meeeww)                      (MEEOOOWWW!)

Not bothered with mice
Nary a bug in the house
The new 'shredded' style

Fell in the eggnog
Hick    hickory....up he run
Dick    dickory    DOCK!    tick tock

Poem Details | by daver austin |
Categories: funny, life

SPRING HOUSE CLEANING (reverse Etharee)

SPRING HOUSE CLEANING ( reverse Etheree)

house
ugh!  house!
needs cleaning
it’s saturday
what an awful mess!
dust    cobwebs    outside dirt
it boggles my mind to think
when I think    it’s of other things
wouldn’t it be nice to take a nap
all day    but then the mess will still be there
know what?    I saw an add in the paper
this old chinese lady cleans houses
she is very reasonable
654 – 7328
“hello    chinese lady?
you say she’s out now?
what does she charge?......
saturday?
no workee”
GREAT!






Poem Details | by randy johnson |
Categories: funny, house, humor,

That Haunted House

I bought a house that nobody else wanted.
I got it dirt cheap because it was haunted.
It was once owned by a murderess and nobody could trust her.
Things got so bad in that house that I called the Ghostbusters.
But those four women came running out of that house as fast as they could.
I thought that hiring those women was a great idea but it didn't do any good.
Everybody who lived in that house ended up in a bad shape.
The last straw came when the ghost cornered me and I was raped.
I burned down that house for the insurance because things were so creepy and odd.
But the insurance company found out and now I've been sentenced to prison for fraud.

Poem Details | by Jan Terry |
Categories: humorous,

House of the Crescent Moon

There is a house in my backyard
they call the 'Crescent Moon'.
I visit more than I would like
but, then no one's immune.

I've passed many an hour there,
pants below my knees.
The place is open day and night.
You can come whenever you please.

Just go in and have a seat;
You're welcome one and all.
Take a load off your feet
when nature makes that call.

So, don't be afraid to make a move.
You can even bring a friend;
Just in case, there's a double seat
and you'll be happy in the end.


Inspired by the humor of Jan Allison
Potty humor
Jan Terry
April 16, 2019



Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: humorous,

Jail House Blues

In jail

    No bail

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 6 July 2015 All Rights Reserved

Tied for No. 3 in Judy Konos' "One Footle" Contest

Poem Details | by Lycia Harding |
Categories: animal, children, kids, funny, nonsense, pets, silly,

Funny House Pets for Kids

========================

First you got an alligator.

Next came a giraffe.

Lions ride your elevator,

bears hide in your bath.

Bunnies,

   chimps,

       (a duck?),

            raccoons..... 

             run amok through all your rooms!

Soon, if you don't set them free - there will be no room for me!

========================

Poem Details | by Tonytocaa Camacho |
Categories: funny, goodbye, humor,

Out house saga


             The puffs of air came and went bubbling
                         Happily putting on the exhaust on high
                                       Running like hell to the outhouse saying bye















Poem Details | by Shanity Rain |
Categories: candy, change, desire, food, kids, funny, house, husband, imagination, mystery, poems, senses, sweet,

Sweet Carmel

The taste of homemade Carmel so sweet/ everyone I know desires the treat.

After one night in the kitchen covered/ half the pan gone, next morning discovered. 

 Is it my beagle Lily whom loves any food? / she seems in a hyper beagle mood.

 I know I heard a squeak in the night / a dream ? No, for low was the kitchen light.
           
 T'was my husband, for he can't resist/ soft , buttered brown sugar , a Vanilla twist.
           

Poem Details | by Robert L. Hinshaw |
Categories: cute love, humorous,

Overheard On The White House Wall

Overheard by flies on the White House wall

   During Bubba's tete-a-tete with his moll.

      "Order extra salami

         And a tad more pastrami

            Fer my pizza on yer next service call!"

Entry for Andrea Dietrich's Limerick Contest

Poem Details | by john williams |
Categories: funny,

New Fashion House

A young lady from Athens,
Had strong designer passions,
She developed a boutique
Just for the chic,
Full of exquisite fashions.

The opening without any hitches,
She had created marketing riches,
But it literally all fell apart
Within the year's start,
As she continually dropped her stitches.

Poem Details | by The Grahamburglar |
Categories: childhood, children, family, home, house, humor, life,

Growing Pains

We were eight children
crowded in a little house;
and just one bathroom.

5/5/16

For Contest: Haiku on "My Family"
Hosted by: Marvin Celestial

Poem Details | by Pamela VanHyning |
Categories: family, children, funny, happiness,

Grandma's House




Where do you go,
When you can’t eat candy?
Where every kid goes,
Because it’s so handy.
It is not very far,
Plus the door is always open.
With a full cookie jar,
At least I am a hopin’.
Here the food is always free,
Nor do you have to be quiet as a mouse.
It is not a fort in a tree,
Indeed--it is Grandma's house!!  



Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: funny, house, house,

A Pink Oops


Inebriated Bob painted his house bright pink His poor neighbors raised a hell-of-a stink Then in October Finally got sober Took one look at the house and asked for a drink
For the Tickle Me Pink contest

Poem Details | by Linda-Marie SweetHeart |
Categories: funny,

Coffee House

"Coffee House" a savory swig energizes bones one swallow electrifies tasting cones an instant caffeine rush causes blah cheeks to pink blush pure Pepsi creates haunting moans. a tingling sensation provides power charging battery for 24 hours but "diet" won't do the "hard stuff's" my brew Pepsi fragrance as potent as flowers. one day when Life's journey is done and "the other side's" calling for fun no Coke, Dew, or "7" as I step into Heaven hoping Pepsi is their "Number One".
*For Craig's Funny Poem Contest

Poem Details | by Jerica Sanchez |
Categories: boyfriend, care, dedication, devotion, faith, first love, for her, for him, gender, girlfriend, happiness, happy, heart, heaven, home, house, how i feel, humor, husband, i love you, imagination, inspiration, inspirational, kiss, longing, love, marriage, miss you, missing, poems, poetry, romance, romantic, together, words,

FOREVERMORE

When I hear your name
My heart beats faster than usual
It's not that I am ashame
But It's just your name is too special..

Can't control the feelings
When I am with you
Can't stop smiling
When you hold me like you do

When you hug me then
I feel like I'm in heaven
You are a blessing from above
And you are the reason why I loved

I'll promise to love you FOREVERMORE..
And I will cherish you until the end of my borrowed life
And I will keep our precious memories as long as
we see each other in our next life..

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: home, house, humor, identity, image,

Horsepower makes us proud

Rednecks make parts in the basement 
They've mastered piston emplacement
They'll bore out a block
To be bigger than stock
Displacement has no replacement

Author's note.  A really great guy in the office has a classic '67 Firebird
that will go really fast and has fun taking it to car shows in the area.
This is part of American culture. Yahoooo!

Poem Details | by Andrea Dietrich |
Categories: funny,

Fred's House Cleaning Fix

Home alone lived the widower, Fred with no inkling at all in his head of how to clean house. Without his dear spouse, Fred was facing his clutter with dread. Everywhere there were cobwebs and dust. Even pieces of old pizza crust! And a horrid new smell Fred began to inhale while surveying the mess with disgust. It smelled just like a rat there had died, so Fred flew into action. He cried, “Cleaning service I’ll pay. I must call them today, and next week I will search for a bride!” Written March 16, 2012 For Francine Roberts' Cobwebs and Dust Poetry Contest Theme: Cobwebs and Dust

Poem Details | by Tahira Parveen |
Categories: friendship, god, home, humorous, i love you, love, motivation,

Bless This house

May God bless this house
Where all abide
Love and care for one another
Tolerate and accept each other
Share and share alike
Lift each other's burdens
Help each other with household chores
Smile when we see each other
And care for our animals
Lastly volunteer to put the bins out!

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: america, humorous, political,

THERE'S AN OLD FART IN THE WHITE HOUSE

I've checked the date it’s not April Fool’s Day - Trump’s President of the U S of A These words to you I impart To me a ‘trump’ is a fart In the White House this old farts gonna stay! 01~21~17

Poem Details | by Robert Shreve |
Categories: funny, seasonshouse, house,

Igloo

Snow over a foot deep
Thrown into a big heap

A pile we will make
If not for the kids sake
For an igloo they will undertake

Through the hole I will creep
Not a word I shall peep
Lying here trying to sleep

As I begin to shake
And my back begins to ache
I think it's time for a house break

I'll crawl out like a sheep
And it's off to the house to get some sleep

Poem Details | by RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY |
Categories: fun, funny,

Jane has a big house

                                           Jane has a big house 
                                         Made of cats and mouse 
                                           When they all screech 
                                             She runs for beach 
                                        Stripping skirt and blouse


Poem Details | by Henry Victor |
Categories: adventure, character, giggle, house, jobs, sound, wife,

noise and ooze

my commode has been making noise
that my wife tried to fix it
only to make it worse
and now it started leaking too

by the time i saw it
the washroom was flooded
and i’m no plumber to fix it
neither am i an idiot to avoid it

so, i did with manly mettle, mettle with it
and tightened, at the end, the right nut
for both the noise, and the ooze to prevent

we did leave home thereafter
i, carrying a washroom in ooze
while my wife, walking in perfect poise


Poem Details | by Dominique Jon Apple Webb |
Categories: fantasy, home, house, humor, imagination, science, science fiction,

The Life Form, The Living Door

Their once was a living door called Able, 
That did curve and bend, very capable, 
When I approached to go through, 
Facilitating and friendly just like you, 
And I so often wished that Able was datable. 

Poem Details | by Barbara Gorelick |
Categories: funny, holidayhouse, house,

Christmas Poem,, H Garvey Daniel...your tagged

There once was a Santa from Nome.
From house to house he did roam,
When done he stopped for a beer
And some friendly Holiday cheer.
Alas…… he couldn’t find his way home.


thank you Carolyn..lets see what the chef can come up with...