Humorous and funny Humor poems and/or funny poems about Humor. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Humor funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Humor Poems.
food, fun, humor, words,
She had so many chances
Yet she kept muffin it up
Butter intentions were good
Just not much coffee in her cup
Couldn’t make a good decision
Too much waffling back and forth
Always peppered with doubt
Should she head south, no maybe north
Still, she was fun at a party
I would say, hummus a tune
She’d say, Icing because I’m happy
As the words began to croon
Maybe that’s what’s most important
Omelet let her off the hook
So she’s always in a pickle
Doesn’t do things by the book
Once again, I’m gonna help her
Since she is such a good egg
I said, girl, you’d go much farther
If you weren’t such a nut Meg
Poet Destroyer A
adventure, anti bullying, boat, humor, slavery, violence, voyage,
```Pirate Bay the Haiku```
pirates fierce and mean
drowning fish, sea to sea
parrots on their butt
```Polly Wants A Cracker```
bloodthirst & brutal
Quartermaster Gone Wild
dirty wings on deck
```Sea World Adventure```
ship crew goes on strike
sailing the Caribbean
wooden leg splashing
There was a lumberjack from Borehamwood
A chainsaw mishap took off his manhood
His Love life now a mess
And it caused him great stress
So he made himself one out of some wood .
He went to bed one night full of desire
Sue his wife put on her sexy attire
Things got steamy and hot
He gave it all he got
But with passion and friction it caught fire .
Written 5th March 2019.
For make me actually LOL 2 poetry contest
Sponsored by Nina Parmenter.
age, humor, life,
I can't recall exactly when
Life swung and hit me on my chin
I"m ashamed to say, it knocked me cold
When I came to, I woke up old
While I was out, I had a dream
Of juggling on a balance beam
While jumping hoops, upon one leg
And one wrong move, cost one nest egg
Was it yesterday or the day before
I had it all but wanted more
When days were long and fears were short
Carouse by day, at night cavort
Yesterday, less was more
It must have been the day before
I wish I'd seen life's sucker punch
'cause now my memory's out to lunch
by Daniel Turner
humor, mom, sorry,
If I weren't afraid, I'd...
Have pulled that red lipstick
Out of my purse
And with cover
Of sister and cousin
Surrounding your coffin
Replaced that drab pink coral
With your trademark red
We knew it wasn't a colour
You'd have been caught in dead
Oh don't think that I ain't seein'
As you roll those purty eyes,'
And my man stands there a gawkin'
Like he'd won some sort of prize.
My ma taught me how to keep em
And to cut you down to size.
For there ain't no man worth havin'
Can resist my apple pies.
how i feel, humor,
Compose eight lines consult your muse
Subject matter is what you choose
Just eight syllables on each line
Follow these rules and you'll be fine
Pretty pictures you do not need
Your words only so please take heed
Only plain text no fancy fonts
And that you'll find is what she want's.
Written on 10th November 2018
fishing, humor, sea,
A fishing boat left the port of Kinsale
The rain was lashing and blowing a gale
Fishing grounds were in sight
Then they had a great fright
Along side swam a giant killer whale.
A fish pong round the boat was so smelly
"Hold your noses "cried out Captain Kelly
Whale then bit off a chunk
Fishing boat and crew sunk
They all ended up in the whales belly.
Written 5th August 2019.
Syllables in both stanza's
Syllable check at how many syllables .com
Two sea themed limericks' poetry contest
Tania Kitchin - Sponsor .
fairy, fantasy, fun, funny, humor, humorous,
Pumpkin turns carriage
Prince offers marriage
The Elves and the Shoemaker
Business lacks clout
Shorties help out
Scaling her tresses
Young prince impresses
The Three Little Pigs
Wolfie wants bacon
Brickwork frustrates him
Puss in Boots
Smooth talking feline
Princess makes beeline
Hundred year nap
Ended by chap
Beauty and the Beast
Loving what’s ugly
Renders it lovely
Hansel and Gretel
Candy trap foiled
Witchy gets boiled
14 September 2018
Written for Six-Word Couplet Series Contest
Hosted by Mark Toney
bears so eagerly
inside of me
my pen prostrate
leaves a dent
this paper could use
I make an airplane
body, death, humor, humorous,
I heard the squelch of death again -
or was it just a neuron firing
deep within my boggy brain,
or possibly a cell expiring
down amongst a mucus mess?
It could have been my heart perspiring
(that may be a thing I guess),
or, deep down in the adipose,
the squealing of a fat-lump pressed
to serve as fuel, and I suppose
it might have been a small mutation -
“Pop!” (we get a lot of those),
a bronchiole’s sharp inhalation,
“Hiss!” a membrane’s gooey breath,
a bile-duct’s bitter salivation...
Probably, it wasn’t death.
29 Mar 2019
funny, humor, humorous, poetry, poets, wisdom, writing,
How high the bar that makes a poet Real!
(He walks in mists, and shadows of himself)
To be a poet, is to burn with steel
Set short time in the forge, the lesser self!
He brands his heart with fiery words, set down
And burns his mind with thinking, ‘til it glows,
He hopes, of sonnets, his will be the Crown,
And hopes that all the brilliance of light, shows!
But, oftener, he writes a humble piece,
A few words cramped into a simple form,
But somehow, in his feelings, a release!
Yes, humble-bumble often is the norm.
And that high bar, he reaches seldom, and
Leaves barefoot footprints in the fruity sand.
farewell, humor, symbolism,
He used to be three dimensional
and then he became two
I know it seems far fetched
But I’m telling you it’s true
In two dimensions
he could still depict three
If people didn’t look to closely
They’d believe what they’d see
His paper thin personality
once colourful and cool
Gradually became faded
no longer able to fool
Winds of change kept blowing
Two dimensions turned into one
Without any depth there
one was destined to be none
Not a soul remembers him
He simply faded away
A whisper from yesterday
Who had nothing real to say
anti bullying, appreciation, cancer, cry, faith, humor, hurt,
Come into my house,
Sit anywhere you like.
No, not at my table,
No, not on my chair.
Come into my house,
I invited you,
I opened up my home.
Oh, I changed my mind,
It is a vaulted tome.
Come into my house,
You really are not welcome.
You are a phantom guest,
And a sadly, unwanted pest,
It is a perfect place,
You should have been more proud,
Just to be invited,
And permitted, in the crowd.
With rules and hidden spaces.
And a common thought out plan,
You do not fit, so do not sit,
An email just received is a sham,
stating swine flu comes from tins of ham,
but don’t get a fright,
for this is not right,
when the email claims ham, well it’s spam.
'There was a wealthy old man from Kansas
Wasn't concerned if he caught the virus
He was wealthy you could tell
Owned ten rolls of cottonelle
Said If I die "least I've got a clean A. S. S. ".
Written 13th March 2020
On the Isle of Man lives a Ninja girl
Daring in her act, makes your toesies curl
She has a pretty face
And sips her tea with grace
Be not taken in – she’s no fragile pearl.
Sent with hugs by Lulu` Pascal
M e o w
Sandra M. Haight
Premiere Contest: 2019 Marathon Mile #26
Sponsor: Mark Toney
Contest: Put Your Footle Out Your Mouth
Sponsor: James Edward Lee Sr.
Contest: Your Footle Poem
Sponsor: Judy Konos
There once was a housewife named Claire
Who shook out her mop in the air
The dust whirled like stars
The Earth, Moon, and Mars-
Who’s shaking a dust mop up there?
November 11, 2014
Sponsor: Cecelia Hopkins-Drewer
Contest: Limericks Clean and Clever
Sponsor: Roy Jerden
funeral, humor, sad,
4th March 2015
Written before dad’s funeral - I'll take my cushion to sit on lol
* not proper footle but I had to add it!
humor, humorous, poets,
Will poems to my dull senses rise,
In plainer garb, or apt disguise?
Can turn of phrase else serve an end,
To vanquish foes or win a friend?
What ardor gains a rhyme’s release,
To grant me treasured moment’s peace?
Or is it merely hubris’ child,
That lets me dream I’m Oscar Wilde!
2nd Place, Best Poetic Form, Poet Destroyer A
Dear Fridge, you’re getting up in years. Oh, my!
How many now? You must be twenty-five!
The dishwasher already I’ve seen die.
How ever have YOU managed to survive?
Sir Oven also is a hanger-on,
But rarely do I spend my time with HIM!
I use his stove sometimes to cook upon.
Too bad you kitchen things can’t keep me slim!
You never rest! I open up your door.
The produce you’ve been keeping fresh I see;
The cheeses, breads, and butter, even more:
Cold casseroles and pizza tempting me!
I do not clean you often. That is mean!
I ought to prize more my appliance queen.
12th grade, family, father daughter, humor, humorous, mother daughter, relationship,
When I grow up, will I still be princess?
Of course, says glowing daddy.
A roll of the queen’s eyes.
I wrote a poem of despair
My hearts been tossed up into the air
She wrote a limerick that was taboo
She made me laugh when I was so blue
Entering stage left was Tim
Writing of past lovers sins in a hymn
It seems that we laugh or we cry
We live, we love, or we die
The three of us, holding poetic swords up high
Throughout the ages we all do fly
No subject goes unspoken
For the freedom of words we've awoken
No battle to long or too fierce
Our duels are true and unrehearsed.
Through blood, sweat and tears
A bond so strong that sweetens the years
All for one and one for all
Let us carry on and have a ball!
Bully, the bull dog thought he was tough
He barked until his owner had enough
Bully went to the pound
A disgruntled old hound
He had a name change...now he's called "Scruff"
Blow Hard was a very ugly bullfrog
Sat in a pig sty on a rotten log
Boasted about his size
He was not very wise
Cuz the moron was eaten by a hog
There's an old geezer who has an ego
Told tales of his greatness for all to know
The haughty one cries
His tales were all lies
He's an old phony who has to eat crow
Bully, Blow Hard, and even that old Geezer dude
All three looked at life with eyes that were skewed
Moral of story...
There is no glory
In barking, boasting, or a haughty attitude