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Funny Poems About Humorous or Humorous Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Humorous poems and/or funny poems about Humorous. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Humorous funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Humorous Poems.

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, , cute,

AND THEN I KISSED HIM - COLLABORATION WITH TIM SMITH

Hot date
Can’t wait

We're at
My flat

Cute eyes
Nice thighs

Admit
She’s fit

So sweet
Must eat

We dine
Sublime

First Kiss
Sheer bliss

Soft peck
On neck

Tongue's twirl
Toes curl

First base
Hearts race

Undressed
Bare breast

Blimey
She’s ‘HE’

No joy
Ladyboy

Fussy
Pussy

Night ends
As friends

Written by Jan Allison & Tim Smith
28th August 2014


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: art, humorous,

VINCENT VAN GOGH

Vincent van Gogh** Sliced his left ear off Only one painting did Van Gogh sell - maybe he didn’t hear the doorbell! The only painting Van Gogh sold during his lifetime was Red Vineyard at Arles **Based on the European pronunciation of the name which is Van Goff! 05~30~15 Entered into Premiere contest #11 sponsored by Skat A

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: beach, humorous,

BEACH FOOTLES COLLABORATION

Hot sun What fun Soft sand How grand Blue sea For me High tide Surf side Beach babe In shade Undress Top less No finds Tan lines Swim suit… pursuit He sports Tight shorts Romance? No chance Jan Allison Casarah Nance 1st December 2014

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: farm, humorous, sexy,

MARY IN THE DAIRY

A curvaceous lady named Mary Just loved having sex in the dairy When smothered with whipped cream Her beau would lick her clean… His Calorie intake was scary!!! 14th June 2016


Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, lust, natural disasters,

OOPS - IT'S A BIT OF A **** UP

Ted enjoys a quick roll in the hay... He’s sleeping with his buxom P A She confirmed she’s with child Ted baulked, then got quite riled I wonder what his wife’s got to say! 5/26/18

Poem Details | by Caren Krutsinger |
Categories: fun, humorous, word play,

To Be Thrown Overboard Soon

Two scruffy pirates picked me up.
Intending to toss me overboard.
I weighed too much; they were struggling.
True.
They needed to lighten their load.
But I was not going easy.
I purposefully got heavier.
"She is flotsom," the tall fat one said.
"Jetsam," the dumb ugly one argued.
"Let's get a dictionary," I said. "Let's do this right."
This gave me a few more days,
as there were no books on this ship.


Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: appreciation, beauty, humorous, ireland, universe,

Plato and Socrates

Dramatic prose for the pompous asses
I throw my Platos at you
If you come any closer
I will Socrates you right in the nose
Demands, demands!!!! The clowns now have demands?
I say, rise up oh poets of the infinite dot universe
Proclaim the revolution a new
Justify our fight with words wrapped in doo doo
When I see a condescending donkey trip on his verbatim
I laughs cause I know he will fall into Satan's den
I am at eleven, usually a sober man
I carry my saber high and shout "Ekphrasis I don’t give a bloody damn"
Infinite ............................ Universe

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

HE'S SMOKIN'

Sir Henry was playing his flute He also was smoking cheroot But when his attire Was soon caught on fire I’m guessing he’s not so astute! 04~18~15 Contest: Famous Einstein Quotes – John Freeman Albert Einstein Quote ‘The only source of knowledge is experience’ ~awarded 1st place~

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

IT'S NOT QUITE SHAKESPEARE

Tubby or not tubby fat is the question! Jan Allison 21st November 2014

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

I NEVER EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN

One look at you – that’s all it took Your long long legs that seem to go on forever Those eyes staring at me All I feel for you is revulsion Hate – it’s a horrible word but I simply detest you There will never be a place for you in my life ... Goodbye Then I flushed the spider down the plughole! 26th March 2015

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, nursery rhyme,

JACK AND JILL RE WRITTEN

Jack and Jill went up the hill With thoughts of making love Jack hadn’t got a condom So cut a finger off Jill’s glove The glove was far too small for him And it didn’t fit his todger Now they are proud parents Of a baby they called Rodger! 1st October 2016 Another poem written after being inspired by Ilene Bauer's poem three blind mic

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: appreciation, giving, humorous, poetry, thanks,

A GIFT OF A LIFETIME - TO END ON SATURDAY MARCH 20TH 2077

I’ve received an incredible gift It has given my heart such a lift But the date that I see Is what now concerns me – It’s the date I no longer exist!!! Today I was gifted a 'lifetime' premium membership but it is somewhat disconcerting to see it ends on 3/20/2077. I hope TPS aren't psychic!!!! My mother's great great aunt lived to 111 and 121 days and was in the Guinness book of records - I hope I am around a long long time to make full use of this incredible gift. 14th October 2016

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous, life,

WINE CONNOISSEUR - FOR CONTEST

No one wants to be left on the shelf for years Guess you could say I’ve popped my cork Now I’m fully mature with a rich full body I could be described as a little fruity with a hint of spice Please don’t keep me bottled up Just give me time to breathe Contest :- A wine Connoisseur Sponsor: Chase Trevi 08~14~15

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, humorous,

ARE YOU SITTING COMFORTABLY

ARE YOU SITTING COMFORTABLY
Poor Beryl had terrible piles So painful, they stuck out for miles With help from her finger Her piles did not linger Now comfy, she sits there and smiles! N/A In enter your own contest contest Contest finalised on 9/24 A Poem, I Wrote and Sent Drifting - Poetry Contest Sponsored by Broken Wings 09-22-17

Poem Details | by John Gondolf |
Categories: humorous,

The Fire Inside

Today for lunch I dined on some Tex-Mex cuisine,
jalapeno topped enchiladas and refried beans;
a favorite here in Texas, that can’t be denied,
but this afternoon I am battling the fire inside.

Washed it down with a margarita and wedge of lime,
it was very soothing and delicious at the time.
It gave my head a little buzz and made me cross-eyed,
but now my gut is suffering from this fire inside.

I used to have no trouble eating this spicy food,
but now it causes burning in my stomach to intrude.
And yet I do not worry for in my desk does hide
a jar of Tums to relieve me from this fire inside. 


November 7, 2017

Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: art, dark, evil, funny, humorous, internet,

Modern Poetry

Skip ad
poem will resume very soon
wait
pause
turn off ad block
and
ad blocker
get dressed
is not that kind of poem
vote
please favorite me
I am flavor to be
like me
love me
photoshop me
pause for second ad
add ads, subtract ads
multiply wine ads
get more wine
is a long damn add
ok
bought the Mercedes
make love
to words
iPassion
is in
snap snap and chat
latex friendships
hollywood dreams
with amex
I never leave home
there she rests
in the trunk
blood mixed
with that new car smell
everything is modern these days
even my jail cell

Poem Details | by Nina Parmenter |
Categories: fairy, fantasy, fun, funny, humor, humorous,

Six-Word Couplet Series

Cinderella
Pumpkin turns carriage
Prince offers marriage 

The Elves and the Shoemaker
Business lacks clout
Shorties help out

Rapunzel 
Scaling her tresses 
Young prince impresses

The Three Little Pigs
Wolfie wants bacon
Brickwork frustrates him

Puss in Boots
Smooth talking feline
Princess makes beeline

Sleeping Beauty
Hundred year nap
Ended by chap 

Beauty and the Beast
Loving what’s ugly
Renders it lovely 

Hansel and Gretel
Candy trap foiled
Witchy gets boiled 





14 September 2018
Written for Six-Word Couplet Series Contest
Hosted by Mark Toney





Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: body, clothes, humorous,

TOEING THE LINE - BAWDY LIMERICK

Sue’s panties gave her so much woe - She suffered from dire ‘camel toe’ But with help from soft plastic Her new outline’s fantastic It’s discrete and no one would know! 4/5/18

Poem Details | by Andrew Fairchild |
Categories: funny, humor, humorous, poetry, poets, wisdom, writing,

Sonnet 31 'How High the Bar That Makes A Poet Real'

How high the bar that makes a poet Real!
(He walks in mists, and shadows of himself)
To be a poet, is to burn with steel
Set short time in the forge, the lesser self!
He brands his heart with fiery words, set down
And burns his mind with thinking, ‘til it glows,
He hopes, of sonnets, his will be the Crown,
And hopes that all the brilliance of light, shows!
But, oftener, he writes a humble piece,
A few words cramped into a simple form,
But somehow, in his feelings, a release!
Yes, humble-bumble often is the norm.
And that high bar, he reaches seldom, and
Leaves barefoot footprints in the fruity sand.

2/20/2019

Poem Details | by Nina Parmenter |
Categories: body, death, humor, humorous,

Squelch


I heard the squelch of death again -
or was it just a neutron firing
deep within my boggy brain,

or possibly a cell expiring
down amongst a mucus mess?
It could have been my heart perspiring

(that may be a thing I guess)
or, deep down in the adipose,
the squealing of a fat-lump pressed

to serve as fuel, and I suppose
it might have been a small mutation -
“Pop!” (we get a lot of those),

a bronchiole’s sharp inhalation,
“Hiss!” a membrane’s gooey breath,
a bile-duct’s bitter salivation...

Probably, it wasn’t death.


29 Mar 2019

Poem Details | by Daniel Turner |
Categories: crush, funny love, humorous, teacher,

Teacher's Pet

As I look back, it all seems funny now
Recalling all those awkward teen age years
I pushed the limits farther than allowed
Supposedly when young, we had no fears

Infatuation caught me with the blues
My heart was swollen by love's gentle sting
It was a crush that only left a bruise
Left by the diamond in her wedding ring

The first day I laid eyes on her, I fell
The lightning bolt she was, that shook my world
And to this day I swear I'd know her smell
Could she have read my mind, she'd likely hurled

I hated school but never missed her class
She said she loved me 'cause I made her laugh


  original poem by Daniel Turner

Poem Details | by scott thirtyseven |
Categories: giggle, humorous, morning,

morning

MORNING

Good morning World.

Damn you!
and your warm
sunray fingers
prying open my eyes.

Robbing me of my
nocturnal fantasies,
my semiconscious bliss.

Leaving the remnants
of my peace 
and tranquillity
laying scattered across
my face and through
my hair.

Your rising light
shrinking the shadows
of my freedom.

I will not be seduced
by your clear blue promises.

For your pressing realities
already taste foul
in my mouth.

Leave me Morning
to my diminishing serenity.


I have performed this piece and it shows on you tube (I hope this works, if not try copying to your address bar):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egYjy4Iu5e8&feature=youtu.be
enjoy

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: father daughter, health, humorous,

SUGAR DADDY - TWO LENSES

Childhood Days I’d heap spoonfuls of sugar in my tea I wouldn’t drink it without it you see That sweet syrupy drink Wasn’t poured down the sink Every single drop was supped up by me! Adulthood Dad’s diabetes made me think - Did I need to sweeten my drink So I cut sugar out And I don’t have a doubt I’m slimmer and I’m in the pink Contest: Two Lenses Sponsor Sara Kendrick 02~20~16

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

JUICY FRUIT

A busty young lady from Peel Her boobies she couldn't conceal They were such a huge size That she won a first prize For the fruit men most wanted to feel 7th April 2015 I made a bit of a boob on the 2nd line - thanks Paul Callus for your advice

Poem Details | by JAN ALLISON |
Categories: humorous,

HAPPINESS

There once was a young man called Rodger Who's very transfixed with his todger From morning till night He gets his delight Now he shares his bed with his lodger 29 ~12~14