Humorous and funny Innocence poems and/or funny poems about Innocence. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Innocence funny poems!
Written by
Brian Morton
Categories:
desire, humor, innocence, loneliness, love, science
Bottled Love Haiku
If love is a drug
my chemist doesn't have it.
Where can I find some?
Written by
Arthur Vaso
Categories:
3rd grade, character, child, humor, humorous, introspection
Innocence
Long ago
a year or so
I received accolades a plenty
I won this, and I won that
I was on top of it all
I was almost the whole shebang
I was important
I was all about me
I pandered and pounded
I wanted attention and I won
I was sad, when my cheating was undone
Caught with the red herring deep in my mouth
I left to sulk a bit and have a wee pout
then I figured out after I was caught
there was a way to still receive
the praise I so sought
once a month
that's how she works
post only then
the egoists trophy is my new perk
Written by
Gail Debole
Categories:
child, children, cute, humor, innocence, kid
The Wrinkle Mystery
Written on 9/26/2022
Updated on 9/27/2022
by Gail DeBole
The young boy was watching his mom
Straighten sheets on his bed with her palms.
He began scratching his head
Looked at the floor and his bed
And seemed to be mildly alarmed.
The young boy who was not quite four,
Said, “The wrinkles are not on the floor.
It did not take long
For them to be gone,
But why did they not fall to the floor?"
Written by
Ryan Geoffrey Hayward
Categories:
child, giggle, innocence, thank you,
Dance of the Angels
Through the clouds, breezing trees
Angels dance to a song by thee
Dressed in white, wings of purity
Peaceful blissful golden clarity
Rays of light, bursts of laughter
Hopeful sunshine, forgotten thunder
Forever waltzing to sweet tunes
Flying higher than balloons
Innocence captured in their eyes
Always smiling, no need for cries
Never tainted, protected by power
Pedals can't be pulled from flowers
Gracefully singing along to the song
Heavenly sent, no burden belongs
Radiantly, comfortably children forever
From January to December.......
Written by
Shaina Rodriguez
Categories:
character, funny, humor, humorous, innocence, rude
I'M Not Mean
I am a very nice person
I'll tell you about my day
I'll sit and listen about yours
And hear what you have to say
I'll make sure you look very good
I'll tell you about your fly
Tell you when your crush is coming
Or tell you if he walks by
I come off very sarcastic
I do it to make you laugh
My sarcasm sounds kind of mean
It's funny on my behalf
Written by
Trevor Mcleod
Categories:
assonance, confusion, environment, howl, humorous, innocence
The Condom
I wore a condom for my mate
and said it glowed to throw my weight.
But when she asked to know it's fate
the light was on and it was late.
Written by
James Fraser
Categories:
body, food, giggle, innocence, pollution, rude
My Missing Quilt
Oh my, I'm suffering from wind
I just wish my body would rescind
For my quilt I do probe
It's on top of my wardrobe
Out of reach and totally pinned
.
Inspired by Jan Allison's Poem 'The Real Gods of Wind'
Written by
S. O. Fasrus
Categories:
bullying, humor, innocence, psychological, scary, wife
Ted
Ted was a proper torturer
he'd gag me after tea
he'd ram a flannel down my gob
then dangle me on his knee
A virgin when I married
my mums and dad were Mormons
home-schoolers don't do sex Ed. much
though they did go on about hormones
I thought Ted's ways were normal
it was all new ground to me
my terrified eyes would turn him on
so I didn't have the heart to flee
I got used to the violent jerking
I got used to a gob full of flannel
but I wished I'd prayed and made a fuss
when he hid me behind his panel.
S O F
Written by
Katherine Braithwaite
Categories:
humorous, innocence,
The Postman
I am going to marry the postman
As soon as his wife runs away.
It might be tomorrow
What bliss and what horror.
But it certainly won't be today
I think I shall keep my own name
Despite what the postman might say.
For I've got so used to this
My history's suffused with it.
Post me a prayer for today
Written by
Emenaha Godwin Holiday
Categories:
autumn, birthday, february, for her, humor, innocence
Happy Birthday Rachael
Through the wee hours of the dawn
On a cold autumn night of
February. The harmattan harsh
And dry breeze blowing
I overhear the leaves weepy-scratchy
Noise. Still but almost conscious,
Generously, her angelic face
Came, flashing, over my memory
And those valentine that passed,
One whom cannot be forgotten.
Smiles as tender, Rachael,
Emenaha says "all the best".
Written by
John Lawless
Categories:
funny, innocence,
Hot Air - For Contest
HOT AIR/senryu
hot air darkly still
heavy stench of guilt hanging
all eyes fixed on me
John G. Lawless
7/15/2015
for- Senryu of Being Misjudged Poetry Contest
sponsor – Marvin Celestial
Written by
Tahira Parveen
Categories:
friendship, funny, happy, horror, humorous, innocence
Small Teacake
I heard you say
You spent your last pennies on me
I was glad
Now we can go home
Have a cup of tea
and watch TV
Nice and cosy
Written by
Deb M
Categories:
children, humor, innocence, truth,
Mans Real Best Friend
He was at that little boy discovery stage
A sweet little boy called Billy
A time he was completely fascinated
With the workings of his willy
One day Billys mother asked him
As his willy stood to attention
“Billy why are you always playing with it?”
With deep thought he answered her question
Billy’s lovely little face grew very serious
And with the innocence and honesty of only children
Billy looked at his mother and quietly replied
“Because it’s my best friend”!!!
Written by
M Asim Nehal
Categories:
humor, humorous,
Innocence - Limerick
To him someone said “One DAY we all will die”
Every soul will taste the death and no one can defy
Only our good or bad deeds will go
No one can make any alter to this flow
He was scared during DAY but by night he slept like fly.
Written by
Suujish Kandampullyy
Categories:
fun, giggle, humor, innocence,
In the Midst of Woods
In the midst of woods
I was walking alone
In a mood of sorrow
There was no one to follow
The winds blowing past me
Makes a whistling sound
The growing darkness haunts me
As I feel the presence of someone around
I got stuck up in my way
As the negative thoughts carried me away
As my Mind began to exaggerate
My heart started to accelerate
In fear of getting lost away
From the woods I ran away.
Written by
Mark Martin
Categories:
confidence, humor, innocence, trust,
Beware of This Man
I don't make cold calls nor do I mail spam
Yet others accuse me of running a scam
A chance for a fortune - to get rich real quick
A solid gold ingot that's just a lead brick
Pass this on further just like a chain letter
A miracle cure all to make you feel better
The 'gyptians might build up their great pyramids
But I can scheme Ponzi - let's earn a few quid
Just give me your details to get to your bank
I'll empty your savings - no need to say thanks
Written by
Pat Adams
Categories:
boy, grandmother, humorous, innocence,
Enquiring Minds
"How old are you Granny?", her grandson wants to know
Said with a yet to be learned, decorum to show
She said, "Thirty and holding!",
With a smile and not scolding
He asked, "How old would you be then, if you let go?"
Written by
Edward Schmitz
Categories:
childhood, children, funny, giggle, humorous, innocence
Poo Poem
Poo Poem
Something baffling I have found
Is that kids will laugh when they hear the sound
Sometimes even the word will do
But nothing is funny about turds or poo
The smell the feel the color the sound
Like putrid mines that litter the ground
So nasty when it sticks to your shoe
But ten times worse if it gets on you
The sound of a fart can clear a room
The smell is as noxious as toxic fumes
Those unlucky enough to have a feel
Will surely release a horrid squeal
Is there some joke that I don't see
What makes them laugh could it be funny
Smiles and laughs and giggling too
What is so funny about turds and poo
Written by
Muhammad Safa Thajudeen
Categories:
funny, innocence,
Innocent
No innocent the rich,
Innocent the poor,
In no cent the poor,
Innocent the poor!
Written by
Elizabeth Mccann
Categories:
funny, humorous, innocence, technology,
Hapless
That robot on line is so crafty!
Pick a number, he says; make it snappy!
Or go to the App
He'll get nowhere with that;
He should know by now I'm un-appy!
Written by
Peter Golden
Categories:
funny
Innocence
A virginal banana
gives birth to
his inner masculine
peculiarities
by peeling back
the layers of
his latent
sexual machinery.
Self-gratification
is an insincere
occupation,
a contemptuous
pleasure-seeking
leisure interest,
satisfied only
by the dexterity of one’s
lust filled imagination.
Alas,
he could only
handle his own
diminutive stature
if his blossoming bonanza
was viewed through
the magnifying glass
of a short-sighted,
armless geriatric.
Oh, to be a child
whose soul ambition
is to play
doctors and nurses
with the girl(s)
next door.
Written by
Rudolph Rinaldi
Categories:
first love, funny, happiness, innocence, life, natural disasters
Sitting Happy
Sitting happy in my bathtub
Sailing my boat
In still waters
between and around my kneecaps
When you stepped in
and capsized
me
Written by
Greg Gaul
Categories:
adventure, appreciation, confidence, humor, innocence, love
Missdirections
Applies her makeup
Grabs that glam getup
May put on odd airs
Acts as if she cares
Giggles to lowbrows
Wiggles with highbrows
Goes downtown dancing
Dips downright dazzling
So no big to-do
For this ingenue
Written by
James Edward Lee Sr.
Categories:
anxiety, baby, caregiving, childhood, funny, innocence
Baby Face What's You Thinkin a --Guess What I Got
You know what?
Guess what I got
And no I’m not wet
But you can guess
I'm hyper, bit kiper,and niper,
La, la I got a dirty diaper
12/21/18
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr.2018©
(picture A)
Written by
Vladimir Tumanov
Categories:
age, humorous, innocence, irony, life, sorrow
Average
I refused to bow down to the mean.
To be average would not be my scene.
I’d avoid every trap.
This would be but a snap.
When I thought this, my age was eighteen.