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Funny Poems About Ireland or Ireland Funny Poems

Humorous and funny Ireland poems and/or funny poems about Ireland. Read, share, and enjoy these hilarious Ireland funny poems! Also, try our sister website's powerful search engine for poems or see our other Ireland Poems.

Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: appreciation, beauty, humorous, ireland, universe,

Plato and Socrates

Dramatic prose for the pompous asses
I throw my Platos at you
If you come any closer
I will Socrates you right in the nose
Demands, demands!!!! The clowns now have demands?
I say, rise up oh poets of the infinite dot universe
Proclaim the revolution a new
Justify our fight with words wrapped in doo doo
When I see a condescending donkey trip on his verbatim
I laughs cause I know he will fall into Satan's den
I am at eleven, usually a sober man
I carry my saber high and shout "Ekphrasis I don’t give a bloody damn"
Infinite ............................ Universe


Poem Details | by Isaiah Zerbst |
Categories: holiday, humor, humorous, ireland, irony,

My Old Bucket

I lost my old bucket so sadly,
And felt oh so terribly badly;
Then lo and behold
A pot full of gold!
I'd lose me another and gladly.

Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: humorous, ireland, rain,

Taxi

There once was a driver from Uber
Who really only owned a scooter
So when it rained
His passengers complained
So now he has no more commuters

Couldn't let a St Paddy's day go by without a wee limerick!!

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: fish, fishing, funny, humor, humorous, ireland, vacation,

Fishing Buy The Pound

Finn and Mcgee
went fishing once more
With the money they saved up all year

They rented a cabin 
up by the lake
And filled it with fish bate and beer

For two weeks of fishing
They made it their mission 
To wake up and start at first light

With poles in their hands
They hardly could wait
For a big fish to come up and bit

Day after day
They fished and they fished
but barely got even a nibble

Then on the last day
McGee caught a trout
That apparently wasn't so fickle

Now on the way Home
Finn said " McGee
You Know what this fish, has cost you----

---A thousand Quid"
"Well Finn, if it did
Then I glad I didn't catch two"

Poem Details | by Vee Bdosa |
Categories: food, humor, ireland,

Irish Girl Love Song

     IRISH GIRL LOVE SONG
Don't love an Irish girl.
She's gonna do you wrong.
She's a hard hearted woman
and she won't stay home.
I got some Irish blood
in my family tree.
But I wouldn't love an Irish girl
For the life of me.

I ain't no leprechan,
but I'm on the run
cause a hard hearted Irish girl
wanted me for fun.
I lived on Irish stew
it was six days old,
cause she wasn't home long enough
to warm it. I ate it cold.
© ron wilson aka ron arbuthnot
aka vee bdosa the doylestown poet

Poem Details | by Duke Beaufort |
Categories: humor, ireland,

a second limerick joke

A leprechaun grants me three wishes—it’s my lucky day!
But for my ex he’ll double each gift--much to my dismay! 
Not at all deterred
And for the last and third
I say beat me to death just half way

Poem Details | by Cynthia Jones |
Categories: humor, imagery, inspiration, ireland, march, poetry,

Kiss Me, I'm Irish -Reversed Katauta-

"Kiss me, I'm Irish," he says leprechaun, thinks he's all that then, wiggles his tongue. Copyright © Cynthia Jones Mar.17/2007

Poem Details | by Andrew Crisci |
Categories: celebration, funny, ireland, , cute,

A Leprechaun With Drunken Lips

My acushla,* today only kiss 
this cute Leprechaun with drunken lips!
I drink lots of green beer,
sit next to me and cheer!
My cuishle, don't make them boo and hiss!


* acushla: darling
* cuishle: dear

Poem Details | by Roy Pett |
Categories: funny, hello, horse, ireland, race,

Grey Diamond


There was a young jockey from Ireland 
Booked to ride the race horse, grey diamond
he wanted to be seen
painted grey diamond green
and kissed the Blarney Stone for Ireland.

15/03/2017.

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: funny, humorous, ireland,

Nach Bhfuil Mo Locht

Nach Bhfuil Mo Locht 
or for you English speaking people
"No Mea Culpa"


The Titanic was fine when it left Belfast
Not a blemish on Her hull, or on her deck
The crew must have done something awful
"Cause now She's a tangled twisted wreak 
In mint condition, She was when She left us
We washed and polished Her to shine
Then we went to a pub, to drink some whisky
singing in a chorus, Auld Lang Syne
You can't blame us Irish for what happen
"Cause we went home and slept the night away
"The Titanic was fine when it left Belfast"
At least, that's what we Irish say

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: drink, humor, humorous, ireland, irony, mother,

A Peaceful Pub

Shawn walked in the local pub
and sat down by McGee
Shawn spoke softly in his ear
But McGee did not agree

He shook his head and waved his drink
As his voice was getting loud
When McGee insulted Shawn
It silenced the whole crowd

McGee slurred out one insult
followed by another
while knocking back another pint, said
"I Slept with your dear mother"

The crowd wide eyed and wondering
That sure would make Shawn mad
But Shawn just took him by the arm, said
" You're drunk, let's go home Dad "



Poem Details | by John lawless |
Categories: humor, ireland,

Libations Temptations

Libations Temptations


O’Leary poured the draught with finesse
O’Brien slid to the floor for some rest
passed out so quick
foam thick on his lip
Ah, the shame of an unfinished Guinness


John G. Lawless
3/16/2015

Poem Details | by Cheryl Darby |
Categories: dog, drink, funny, humorous, ireland,

Irish

Irish

'When Irish eyes are smiling',
sang the midwife, gleefully,
as she handed me a bundle,
and revealed that it was 'She'.

A baby, with the darkest hair,
blue eyes, that shone like sea,
here lay this little person, 
blessed with Irish ancestry.

A girl no longer now, alas,
she's long since flown the nest,
so I replaced her swiftly,
with 2 Greyhounds, I don't jest!

Faye Shannah and Pigalle Blue,
an Irish racing pair,
but you can safely visit me,
unless you are a hare!

You could come for coffee?
and bring a Cake to finish,
actually, I love real ale,
but never, ever, Guinness!

Cheryl Yvonne Darby (Cyd)
23/02/2015

Poem Details | by gerard quain |
Categories: character, humorous, ireland,

Chatterbox

What a beautiful concept
A box to put chat in
Another pigeon for the common man
Labels so easily fit
When one seriously thinks of it
Just imagine it  if you will
A box to lock gossips in
To kill their cackle
To tighten their loose tongues
To make them quiver a little less
But not I begin to digress
Sometimes I am guilty of their  sin
To rant to rave
To become a slave to the shallow
Listening to their vile attempts
To bring humanity to its lowest ebb
A chatterbox indeed would be  handy in times of woe
To silence my myriad foes

Poem Details | by Julie Grenness |
Categories: addiction, friendship, funny, happiness, ireland, nonsense, wisdom,

A JOKE IN A POEM

 A JOKE IN A POEM

Sat me down in  a bar one day,
Paddy and Seamus said "G'day!"
Barmaid said, "Here's your beer,"
I replied, "Thanks, my dear."
Many the hours of chats and beers,
Many the beers, many the beers.
Paddy asked, "Tell me, me dears,
Why did God make beer?"
"Dunno," we said, "Ask the barmaid here!"
"Why did God make beer?"
Barmaid said, passing out beers,
"To make men happy, my dears'
Have more beers, cheers!"
"Quote of the year, quote of the year!"
"Bring that barmaid over here."
"Who's for more beers, me dears?"
Many a cheer, many a cheer.

Poem Details | by Ivo Cosentino |
Categories: books, humor, imagination, ireland, men, poetry, silly,

That Devious Rogue

Livid I was when that nincompoop
stained that page of my book
with tomato sauce, while eating
oh! How horrible! How horrible!
It was just a little dot but still;
definitely not easy to tolerate,
since I am a bibliophile,
enamoured with poetry and essays,
being my idols William Topaz McGonagall
and the Irish-speaker Robert Wilson Lynd!
Oh! It was just a little stain which
blurred no text, made nothing illegible,
but still! My anger ceases not
and I call that man a true clown!

Poem Details | by Tom Quigley |
Categories: humor, ireland,

Galway Green

There once was a laddie from Galway
Lassies asked if he wore green, he said, “No way,”
I’m not trying to be smart,
It’s tattooed o'er my heart
But feel free to give me a pinch anyway!

3/27/16
For the “It’s All About Wearing the Green—The Limerick” Contest
Sponsor: Skat A

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: bereavement, dark, death, humor, humorous, husband, ireland,

Sudden Death

Mary O'Sullivan
Right after Mass
Stepped out of the church
And as she walked passed
Father McGee, couldn't help see
That Mary was shedding a tear

Approaching Mary
With the kindest of hearts
He wasn't quiet sure, 
Where, he should start
The silents was broke, when McGee finally spoke
"What, is the problem, My Dear"

"Father forgive me
But late last night
My husband died sudden,
Right there in my sight"
McGee stood in shock, and barely could talk
Until he could work past the fear

"I know it's hard
But please do your best
Where there any last words 
Or final request" 
"Yes, 'PUT DOWN THAT GUN', while starting to run
But I'm not sure I heard him that clear"



Poem Details | by Mark Martin |
Categories: celebration, fun, funny, humor, humorous, ireland,

Outdoor decor limerick

There once was an entrepreneur
An Irish born rank amateur
He made garden chairs
Outdoor tables I swear
His name was Paddy O'Furniture



Written 14th March 2017

Entry to "luck of the Irish limerick" contest

Notes: happy St Patrick's day to all my fellow Irish men and women

Poem Details | by Cynthia Jones |
Categories: humorous, imagery, inspiration, ireland, march, poetry,

I Be A Leprechaun

Though I be short not so very tall, damn those that laugh make fun, 'cause I be small. I be hoppin' through the shamrocks me knickers ride up me bum, they giggle and laugh their heads off treat me like I were dumb. I be a leprechaun I be so proud of that, nice ta say, "Top o' the mornin' ta ya," and kindly tip me hat. I be a leprechaun stuck ta it like glue, keepin' me po' o' gold safe from people just like you. Copyright © Cynthia Jones Mar.17/2008

Poem Details | by B. Joseph Fitzsimons |
Categories: drink, humor, ireland,

Luck of the Irish Limerick

Last night I heard the banshee,
After a few swigs of whiskey,
And after I heard her scream,
I poured some Bailey's and cream.
Now I cannot hear her nor see.

3/13/17

Poem Details | by arthur vaso |
Categories: art, beautiful, humorous, introspection, ireland, wine, women,

Vaso Visits Ireland

Poetry is the fashion
The pope, the last bastion
Out with the old
In with the aborted

Crowds gather in anticipation
Poet Arthur recites To Patrick's Nation
England you see
Believes in the Orange and the free

They shout and they cheer
His fans are waiting for whiskey dear
Redheads filled with dragon tempers
A delight to Arthur's Kingdom of pleasure

Buried among the Scottish thistle
One day yee shall find the orange rose

		that tickles ones fancy

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: humorous, ireland,

Now You've Gone And Done It

I'd caught me a leprechaun one day
He told me to "Just wish away"
So I wished for (The Pot) 
and that's what I got
Now under my belt's where it stays

  

Poem Details | by Jerry T Curtis |
Categories: change, family, humorous, ireland, life,

Trouble Times Whiskey

Finn barged on in, 
As he ran to the bar
He laid down a fifty
Dropped a tip in the jar

He demanded scotch whiskey
And, ordered six doubles
The Bartender asked
"Finn what is the trouble"

After shooting the whiskey
He calm down to say
"I just learned, My friend
That my oldest Son's gay"

A week went by quickly 
He barged in again
Ordered six doubles
Dropped cash in the tin

The barkeep waited
Till He finished, to say
"Now what is the trouble"
"My youngest Son's gay"

"Does any one like women,
Who live in your house"
"Ay, One besides me, 
I tink it's me spouse"


Poem Details | by Robert Andrew Lyle |
Categories: drink, funny, ireland,

Opening Time

I gaze across this land so green 
With wonder and delight 
I pause a moment and I think 
When's opening time tonight 

I'll just pop in and have a pint 
And maybe if I see 
A friend or two at the bar 
Sure that would make it three 

Then I would have to buy one back 
So that would make it four 
It won’t be very long now 
'Till I'm lying on the floor 

And sure that’s not a bad thing 
It saves the legs you know 
From all that standing at the bar 
Until it's time to go 

And if I lie here long enough 
That too would be fine 
I'll be first in the queue tomorrow 
Ready for opening time